I've posted here before for my own issues, but this time it is about my mate. (We're in Texas) He has two wonderful, intelligent kids: the daughter is 5 and the son is 3. He has had joint custody with his ex for quite some time. Recently, she dropped them off at his place for their visitation and she didn't come back to get them. he had them for a week and he normally has them for three days. He tried calling her and calling her and she avoided his calls. Finally, he managed to contact her and she told him that she just needed a break and wanted the kids back. Unbeknownst to her, he filed Child Abandonment charges against her after more than 74 hours. He was advised to do this by a Sheriff that he contacted. They told him to wait 72-74 hours and but he waited two more days to give her the benefit of the doubt. After that time was when he filed the charges and she finally called. She said that she wanted him to drop the kids off at her place but he said no.
She then stated that she was going to call the police and he told her about the charges. She began crying about it. Now here's the thing. He wants to get full custody of his kids and I want him to as well. But the thing is, I don't think he'll be able to do it. He lives in a college dorm and has a roommate. He has just brought his mother in from Detroit to help, and I'm pretty sure the kids and his mother share the bed whilst he sleeps on the floor. From what he's told me, she has used the kids as pawns times before. But it was never this bad. He truly loves his kids, but I don't think he's thinking clearly. I tried to tell him to think logically and to help him. He's trying to go through the legal system to get custody.
While that's great and all, will they really reward custody to him? Not that he's a bad father. But I'm looking at this realistically. He's barely around because he works all the time with my father, While his monetary situation isn't horrible, it isn't enough to support his kids and himself for long term, again, he lives in a dorm, and his car situation is 'iffy' at best. His ex on the other hand, is loving in a home with her boyfriend, is able to care for the kids (minus this little stint), and has the monetary means to support these kids. Does anyone think that he can possibly win? The legal system won't pay too much attention to the fact that she didn't come and pick them up at her usual time, but she has all the things that she needs legally and beyond that, to care for those kids. If it turns out that they reward the kids to her, does that mean he won't ever have a chance to keep his kids? I would appreciate any LEGAL advice.

I am not an attorney but I am pretty sure that most states require a longer time period before they will consider the kids abandoned by their Mother. Not that I think that what she did was right....I don't think that the courts are going to view it as a major deal. The kids were with their Dad so she knew that they would be taken care of.....they weren't left alone or with strangers. Other then this issue have things worked out in the past between your boyfriend and his ex? If it has then I think he needs to rethink everything. He loves his kids that is clear but they need both parents in their lives. If up until this everything has been fine then I would recommend that he take the kids back to their Mom and keep things the way that they have been. BUT I would also make it to clear to the Mom that if anything like this every happens again then they will end up back in court. The least she could have done was to call him and tell him that she needed a break. It isn't being a "bad" Mom to need a break but she was out of line by not calling him about it.

Was this thru the courts. his visitation schedule or amongst themselves? If he is living in a dorm with a roommate, they won't see that as : sufficient housing for 2 children. And if his mother comes into town he'll sleep where?

To modify custody is a big deal. The courts will do an evaluation of both homes and from what you've said, the father does not even have a suitable home for the children. Therefore it is highly unlikely that the father would be granted custody.

That's what I was thinking. I have a son and I sometimes need a break, but I don't just drop him and dissapear for a while. She could have at least called as you said. I also thought that he should just give them back to her and continue things as they are. Just give her a warning. Not to justity what she has done, but as you have stated and as I know, he obviously isn't capable of giving them the care that they need full time. While I know this and others may know this, I know he may not want to hear this. I will definitely tell him. While I care about him and would never want to hurt him in any way, I'm not going to sugar-coat the reality of his situation. Thank you.

How old is dad? Doesn't the college have rules regarding non-students living in the dorms? I've never heard of a DORM that allowed students to move other people in to their room. I would think that if/when the school finds out, he'll be kicked out and have NOWHERE to live.

He is well aware of the rules and regulations regarding others/children living in the dorms. he has them stay with his friend in the daytime so that he can work and then he keeps them there at night. He actually does a pretty good job about not getting caught. Of course, eventually he will be caught. It's just a matter of time. I would like for him, before that time, to find a place and do what he believes to be right. All I can do is help him along the best that I can. The unfortunate thing is that he doens't have the monetary means to get a place and the things that come with such.