About 2 weeks ago, my 5 year old daughter told me that at her last visit with her dad, my ex, her and her brother walked through his apartment complex) up to the market, by themselves. My ex thinks I am overreacting when I got mad that he doesn't provide safe supervision of the kids when he has them. This wasn't the first incident, in fact it was the last of many in which I have kept a journal. When I spoke to my lawyer a couple of months ago, he basically told me that since I have no proof and no police record of any incidents that there is very little I can do. My ex's mother is in complete agreement with me, as she has been very concerned about the kids when they go there because he does little to interact with them, sleeps most of the morning, etc. We all live in Pennsylvania. What can I do to protect them? Can I refuse to allow the visitations? What happens if I refuse his visitations? Why is it so difficult to put the health, safety and welfare of the children first? To me this is a classic example of an irresponsible father. I hope you can offer some advice.

Alot of CP's stop visitation for numerous reason's, some good reason's and some just do it to be bitter to the ex...however does your kid(s) father have court order visitation?

Don't get yourself in trouble by going against court orders...go about everything the legal way...what i mean by this is...don't find yourself in Contempt of court orders.

You should tell your children not to go anywhere without their dad. Some safety issues like not going anywhere without an adult, not playing with the stove or running around in a parking lot are all issues you should teach your children and be very stern with them. It's going to take alot of effort on your part. Once your children learns this you will be more at ease. Call during the times that they are there to check and see if they are ok. He doesn't have to pick up the phone if he is sleeping the children should learn to expect your call at these times. And remind them over the phone the safety issues that they have to learn anyway.
This is the best advice to prevent any major conflict, court order or what ever that will stress your situation.

Thank you both for your prompt replys. I don't want it to seem that they have not been told time and time again that they must have an adult outside with them, they still disobeyed me. It would appear that they do not have any rules at their dad's house and this really compromises what I am trying to teach them. I do call several times during the 24 hours a week that he has them, but the majority of the time, he does not answer the phone or his cell phone. I've even gone as far as to have one of the master's tell him that he must answer the phone when he has the kids, the last time we were in for a support modification. Without violating the court ordered "visitation" what recourse do I have that will keep them safe?

Unfortunately because your ex is an adult, the idea is that he is capable of taking care of his kids while they are with him, so unless you have proof of neglect and carelessness, you can't prevent what he does during his visitation. Kind of like, until something really bad happens, nothing can be done. It's ridiculous in THESE cases, but how it is. What I would try is calling Child Protective Services and making a complaint (while the kids are with him) that they are unsupervised and being neglected. CPS will be obligated to go check on the kids and they may find them safe, or they may catch it at a time when they are not. It's worth a try. If he is neglecting the kids and it's documented by a case worker, you will have your evidence to go and modify visitation to include that it should be supervised or something to keep the kids safe. Good luck.

Thank you - I will give that a try!

When I read your postings I thought it was me. I've just experienced VERY similiar situations with my son and ex. I filed a PFA against him because of the neglect and abandoning my son in a park in the cold, underdressed for the weather and refused to pick him up when he called to come home. What happened with the PFA,,,, it was dismissed even after my son testified in court. Also, unfortunately there is nothing that children and youth will do either and since they don't work weekends they certainly will not go check on your kids when the father has them. Hey, be grateful you can call. I just had my phone priveleges reduced to ONE TIME per day when my ex has him. This was just as a result of a farse of a hearing just yesterday. Check my new post,,,, ONESIDED and stay tuned for much more indignities of the system and my ex. Good luck, but don't hold your breath for help in protecting your own children.