My husband's ex signed over guardianship/parental rights of my 2 step sons to my mother in law in 1994, she then disappeared off the radar, my mother in law sued her for child support, but no where could she be located, she obviously wasnt using her social security number if they couldnt even serve her. In May of 2000 my husband and I were stable enough that his mother thought us having the kids to be best. In December of 2000 my mother in law passed away. We decided not to sue for support because she had been gone so long. In Nov of 2005 the ex popped in out of nowhere, during the entire time she was gone, she made no contact in any form, now she is claiming that we are abusive parents and is suing my husband for custody of the boys. They are 14 and 16 y/o. I know often times judges take the child's opinion into account, and my oldest son doesnt want anything to do with her as he is still hurt, my 14 y/o is a troubled kid, especially since she has come back into our lives. He is on probation and is facing charges for stealing, to get to the point, what are the chances the judge may find reason to let her come in and destroy the family we have become, after a decade of being "lost"?

The case could go either way...depending on why the bio-mom, walked out of her kids life, was she on drugs etc. But i do know that the courts will take into account how long of a time the bio-mom had been excluded out of the kids life...I don't personally think that a judge will allow her to gain custody(judging her past)..because they don't want the kids life to be disrupted(providing the kids are in a stable environment)..the court/judge may show empathy for the bio-mom and may or may not allow court ordered visitation..but will the kids cooperate and go to visit mom if ordered, voluntarily?(from your post, i don't see the kids willing to go) which may create problems.
But if the judge allows the kids to speak and voice what they want...then it could work out for your households best interest and in your favor. :)

i appreciate what youre saying, the oldest son is sure he doesnt want to even speak to her, as we did voluntarily allow phone calls 3 times a week and unlimited letter writting, she is in AZ and we are in PA tho she is now here in our state due to the fact she has to be here in order to sue for custody...beings that she lives so far away and she has been very underhanded up to this point (ie sneaking behind our back with the help of ex-friends of my husband, on her first contact with the kids for the first time in over a decade) Im afraid that if she is granted visitation, she wouldnt send our 14 y/o home again, he does want to live with her, but we believe its mostly because he wants to get out of the trouble he is in with probation and court issues, even tho that would follow him. My husband and I also have 2 more younger sons together ages 9 and 5, it would be a crushing blow to them and all of us to have one of us missing from our home and life.