http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/story.jsp?story=467341

Service set up to help find birth parents

26 November 2003
A NEW service has been set up in Londonderry to help people adopted as children
track down their natural parents, it can be revealed today.

The North West Telegraph has learned that the new service, which is called
Umbilical Cord, has already helped six people trace their birth parents.

The service was set up in May by a woman who had previously helped some adopted
friends locate their biological parents.

The woman, who asked to be identified only as Sarah to allow the service to
remain discreet, said that after she had located her friends' birth parents,
news of her skills spread by word of mouth.

Due to the demand, Sarah began to advertise her services in the local press and
set the service up publicly in May.

"I gather information about their birth parents and try to get in touch and
find out if they want to have any contact with the person," she said.

"You build up a network of contacts and from there the process becomes quicker.

"I had planned to set the service up as a full-time business and charge a set
fee but I haven't charged anyone yet," she added.

Meanwhile, Sarah has been working with another local woman, Tracy Best, who has
just set up a counselling service to help people overcome feelings of grief
which they may experience after adoption.

Ms Best is a qualified counsellor, who gave her own son up for adoption
three-years-ago.

She said she was setting up the group, Adoption Lifeline, to allow people, who
had shared the same experiences, to talk about their feelings.



-------------------------
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!"
-----Unknown

Umbillical Cord? eeecchhhhhh!!!!!!

Marley


"LilMtnCbn" <lilmtncbn@aol.comnospam> wrote in message
news:20031126083605.10131.00000964@mb-m01.aol.com... http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/story.jsp?story=467341 Service set up to help find birth parents 26 November 2003 A NEW service has been set up in Londonderry to help people adopted as
children track down their natural parents, it can be revealed today. The North West Telegraph has learned that the new service, which is called Umbilical Cord, has already helped six people trace their birth parents. The service was set up in May by a woman who had previously helped some
adopted friends locate their biological parents. The woman, who asked to be identified only as Sarah to allow the service
to remain discreet, said that after she had located her friends' birth
parents, news of her skills spread by word of mouth. Due to the demand, Sarah began to advertise her services in the local
press and set the service up publicly in May. "I gather information about their birth parents and try to get in touch
and find out if they want to have any contact with the person," she said. "You build up a network of contacts and from there the process becomes
quicker. "I had planned to set the service up as a full-time business and charge a
set fee but I haven't charged anyone yet," she added. Meanwhile, Sarah has been working with another local woman, Tracy Best,
who has just set up a counselling service to help people overcome feelings of
grief which they may experience after adoption. Ms Best is a qualified counsellor, who gave her own son up for adoption three-years-ago. She said she was setting up the group, Adoption Lifeline, to allow people,
who had shared the same experiences, to talk about their feelings. ------------------------- A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend
will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!" -----Unknown

Top:

I'm a bit surprised that this is necessary in Northern Ireland. They seem to
me to have a very open attitude to search and reunion. The people in The
Family Care Society in Derry and Belfast already do 'search and reunion',
and Ad.O.P.T. in Belfast has a Recordscan tracing service.

It seems to me to be a *bit* dodgy for a private individual to counsel
anyone in the area of adoption, when she herself has so recently
relinquished a child.

Helen


"LilMtnCbn" <lilmtncbn@aol.comnospam> wrote in message
news:20031126083605.10131.00000964@mb-m01.aol.com... http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/story.jsp?story=467341 Service set up to help find birth parents 26 November 2003 A NEW service has been set up in Londonderry to help people adopted as
children track down their natural parents, it can be revealed today. The North West Telegraph has learned that the new service, which is called Umbilical Cord, has already helped six people trace their birth parents. The service was set up in May by a woman who had previously helped some
adopted friends locate their biological parents. The woman, who asked to be identified only as Sarah to allow the service
to remain discreet, said that after she had located her friends' birth
parents, news of her skills spread by word of mouth. Due to the demand, Sarah began to advertise her services in the local
press and set the service up publicly in May. "I gather information about their birth parents and try to get in touch
and find out if they want to have any contact with the person," she said. "You build up a network of contacts and from there the process becomes
quicker. "I had planned to set the service up as a full-time business and charge a
set fee but I haven't charged anyone yet," she added. Meanwhile, Sarah has been working with another local woman, Tracy Best,
who has just set up a counselling service to help people overcome feelings of
grief which they may experience after adoption. Ms Best is a qualified counsellor, who gave her own son up for adoption three-years-ago. She said she was setting up the group, Adoption Lifeline, to allow people,
who had shared the same experiences, to talk about their feelings. ------------------------- A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend
will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!" -----Unknown

"Marley Greiner" <maddogmarley@worldnet.att.net> wrote in message
news:Xq3xb.335721$0v4.18787128@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net... Umbillical Cord? eeecchhhhhh!!!!!!


LOL - I agree - it's ghastly!

Helen
Marley "LilMtnCbn" <lilmtncbn@aol.comnospam> wrote in message news:20031126083605.10131.00000964@mb-m01.aol.com... http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/story.jsp?story=467341 Service set up to help find birth parents 26 November 2003 A NEW service has been set up in Londonderry to help people adopted as children track down their natural parents, it can be revealed today. The North West Telegraph has learned that the new service, which is
called Umbilical Cord, has already helped six people trace their birth parents. The service was set up in May by a woman who had previously helped some adopted friends locate their biological parents. The woman, who asked to be identified only as Sarah to allow the service to remain discreet, said that after she had located her friends' birth parents, news of her skills spread by word of mouth. Due to the demand, Sarah began to advertise her services in the local press and set the service up publicly in May. "I gather information about their birth parents and try to get in touch and find out if they want to have any contact with the person," she said. "You build up a network of contacts and from there the process becomes quicker. "I had planned to set the service up as a full-time business and charge
a set fee but I haven't charged anyone yet," she added. Meanwhile, Sarah has been working with another local woman, Tracy Best, who has just set up a counselling service to help people overcome feelings of grief which they may experience after adoption. Ms Best is a qualified counsellor, who gave her own son up for adoption three-years-ago. She said she was setting up the group, Adoption Lifeline, to allow
people, who had shared the same experiences, to talk about their feelings. ------------------------- A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true
friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!" -----Unknown

in article konxb.2302$nm6.16790@news.indigo.ie, helicon at
helicon@eircom.net wrote on 27/11/03 1:13 pm:

I'm a bit surprised that this is necessary in Northern Ireland. They seem to me to have a very open attitude to search and reunion.

NI does tend to lag behind the rest of the UK just a little in it's
attitudes to openness sometimes. One step ahead of IoM and the CIs most of
the time though.

The people in The Family Care Society in Derry and Belfast already do 'search and reunion', and Ad.O.P.T. in Belfast has a Recordscan tracing service.
It seems to me to be a *bit* dodgy for a private individual to counsel anyone in the area of adoption, when she herself has so recently relinquished a child. Helen


Echoes my concerns exactly, we usually send people to AdOPT and The Church
of Ireland Adoption Society (as they have the B,D&M indexes on microfiche),
when there is an NI aspect to their adoption.

Robin

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++
"LilMtnCbn" <lilmtncbn@aol.comnospam> wrote in message news:20031126083605.10131.00000964@mb-m01.aol.com...
http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/story.jsp?story=467341 Service set up to help find birth parents

"Robin" <nospam@harritt.net> wrote in message
news:BBEBC26E.29C04%nospam@harritt.net... in article konxb.2302$nm6.16790@news.indigo.ie, helicon at helicon@eircom.net wrote on 27/11/03 1:13 pm: I'm a bit surprised that this is necessary in Northern Ireland. They
seem to me to have a very open attitude to search and reunion. NI does tend to lag behind the rest of the UK just a little in it's attitudes to openness sometimes. One step ahead of IoM and the CIs most of the time though. The people in The Family Care Society in Derry and Belfast already do
'search and reunion', and Ad.O.P.T. in Belfast has a Recordscan tracing service. It seems to me to be a *bit* dodgy for a private individual to counsel anyone in the area of adoption, when she herself has so recently relinquished a child. Helen Echoes my concerns exactly, we usually send people to AdOPT and The Church of Ireland Adoption Society (as they have the B,D&M indexes on
microfiche), when there is an NI aspect to their adoption.

The CofI Adoption Society are pretty much on the ball, I think, and their
post-adoption service is "for adult adoptees wishing to access their
original birth certificates, for birth mothers, and for other relatives of
adoptees". Presumably the latter includes siblings, and possibly
grandparents.

The following report was in today's Irish Times:

Ireland Fri, Nov 28, 03

Delays of three years in Cork adoption tracing
Olivia Kelly

Thousands of adopted children and natural parents are facing delays of up
to three years in accessing tracing services following the closure of one of
Cork's largest voluntary adoption societies.

St Anne's Adoption Society closed in September, transferring its 3,000
client files to the Southern Health Board. The society had a staff of six
part-time counsellors and two full-time social workers handling its case
load. No social workers are currently employed at the adoption unit of the
board.

"The administrative and counselling staff simply doesn't exist within the
health board to deal with these files. The people who had been getting help,
or waiting to get help through St Anne's, are being left high and dry," said
Ms Kathleen Lynch, the Labour Party TD for Cork North Central.

It was appropriate, Ms Lynch said, that responsibility for St Anne's support
services should be transferred to the State. However, the State had failed
to resource the service. "The health board knew this was coming, and they
haven't put anything in place. It is hugely unfair on the staff who have to
deal with all these additional files," she said.

In a statement, the Southern Health Board said it had employed a researcher
previously at St Anne's on a six-month contract, but no additional resources
had been provided by the Government. The board said it hoped to get funding
to employ a social worker in the new year.

"At this time funding hasn't been provided nationally for adult-tracing
services, and the board is attempting to meet the demand for an
adult-tracing service from within existing resources."

The Adoption Board has said it is aware of the staffing problems within the
health boards.

"There are definite problems with the delays in accessing search and
reuniting services. Some health board areas are under more pressure than
others, but everywhere the waiting lists are long," a higher executive
officer with the Adoption Board said. "The whole area of tracing and
domestic adoption is currently under review."

Tracing services were been treated as a very low priority by the health
boards, the Adopted People's Association (APA) said.

"Some health boards have a dedicated staff, but most don't, and people can
be waiting anywhere from six months to five years to trace their parents,"
said Mr Anton Sweeney, of the APA and Adoption Ireland.

Due to the excessive delays people's searches "often end up at the
graveside", Mr Sweeney said.

Forcing people to have counselling before they trace their parents was
contributing hugely to the delays.

"The vast majority of people don't require or want counselling, but the
agencies insist on providing counselling/screening before they start
tracing," he said.

More often than not these assessments were not performed by qualified
counsellors or psychotherapists, and leaving the task to social workers who
already had large case loads was inappropriate.

------------------



There ARE "qualified counsellors" in most agencies, but "forcing people to
have counselling" is really not the correct way to put it, in my opinion.
People who are searching are *interviewed*. It is not therapeutic
counselling, or psychotherapy, it is largely an exchange of information. If
someone has obvious serious issues or problems that will impact negatively
on either the person being searched for, or the searcher, then it will be
suggested that independent help be sought from suitably trained people,
elsewhere.

Helen




Robin ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++ "LilMtnCbn" <lilmtncbn@aol.comnospam> wrote in message news:20031126083605.10131.00000964@mb-m01.aol.com... http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/story.jsp?story=467341 Service set up to help find birth parents

"helicon" <helicon@eircom.net> wrote in message news:<b7Ixb.2411$nm6.16873@news.indigo.ie>... "Robin" <nospam@harritt.net> wrote in message news:BBEBC26E.29C04%nospam@harritt.net... in article konxb.2302$nm6.16790@news.indigo.ie, helicon at helicon@eircom.net wrote on 27/11/03 1:13 pm: I'm a bit surprised that this is necessary in Northern Ireland. They seem to me to have a very open attitude to search and reunion. NI does tend to lag behind the rest of the UK just a little in it's attitudes to openness sometimes. One step ahead of IoM and the CIs most of the time though. The people in The Family Care Society in Derry and Belfast already do 'search and reunion', and Ad.O.P.T. in Belfast has a Recordscan tracing service. It seems to me to be a *bit* dodgy for a private individual to counsel anyone in the area of adoption, when she herself has so recently relinquished a child. Helen Echoes my concerns exactly, we usually send people to AdOPT and The Church of Ireland Adoption Society (as they have the B,D&M indexes on microfiche), when there is an NI aspect to their adoption. The CofI Adoption Society are pretty much on the ball, I think, and their post-adoption service is "for adult adoptees wishing to access their original birth certificates, for birth mothers, and for other relatives of adoptees". Presumably the latter includes siblings, and possibly grandparents. The following report was in today's Irish Times: Ireland Fri, Nov 28, 03 Delays of three years in Cork adoption tracing Olivia Kelly Thousands of adopted children and natural parents are facing delays of up to three years in accessing tracing services following the closure of one of Cork's largest voluntary adoption societies. St Anne's Adoption Society closed in September, transferring its 3,000 client files to the Southern Health Board. The society had a staff of six part-time counsellors and two full-time social workers handling its case load. No social workers are currently employed at the adoption unit of the board. "The administrative and counselling staff simply doesn't exist within the health board to deal with these files. The people who had been getting help, or waiting to get help through St Anne's, are being left high and dry," said Ms Kathleen Lynch, the Labour Party TD for Cork North Central. It was appropriate, Ms Lynch said, that responsibility for St Anne's support services should be transferred to the State. However, the State had failed to resource the service. "The health board knew this was coming, and they haven't put anything in place. It is hugely unfair on the staff who have to deal with all these additional files," she said. In a statement, the Southern Health Board said it had employed a researcher previously at St Anne's on a six-month contract, but no additional resources had been provided by the Government. The board said it hoped to get funding to employ a social worker in the new year. "At this time funding hasn't been provided nationally for adult-tracing services, and the board is attempting to meet the demand for an adult-tracing service from within existing resources." The Adoption Board has said it is aware of the staffing problems within the health boards. "There are definite problems with the delays in accessing search and reuniting services. Some health board areas are under more pressure than others, but everywhere the waiting lists are long," a higher executive officer with the Adoption Board said. "The whole area of tracing and domestic adoption is currently under review." Tracing services were been treated as a very low priority by the health boards, the Adopted People's Association (APA) said. "Some health boards have a dedicated staff, but most don't, and people can be waiting anywhere from six months to five years to trace their parents," said Mr Anton Sweeney, of the APA and Adoption Ireland. Due to the excessive delays people's searches "often end up at the graveside", Mr Sweeney said. Forcing people to have counselling before they trace their parents was contributing hugely to the delays. "The vast majority of people don't require or want counselling, but the agencies insist on providing counselling/screening before they start tracing," he said. More often than not these assessments were not performed by qualified counsellors or psychotherapists, and leaving the task to social workers who already had large case loads was inappropriate. ------------------ There ARE "qualified counsellors" in most agencies, but "forcing people to have counselling" is really not the correct way to put it, in my opinion. People who are searching are *interviewed*. It is not therapeutic counselling, or psychotherapy, it is largely an exchange of information. If someone has obvious serious issues or problems that will impact negatively on either the person being searched for, or the searcher,


Has it not dawned on you that those serious issues/problems might be
created by not being given their information and being taunted by the
keepers of it
sitting right there in front of them and refusing ot and it over,
making them beg for it instead? Tell me why social workers have to
stick their busy beaks
into their clients personal information anyway? The client should be
given their information and if they ask for support only then should
it be made available. Social workers should stop being such control
freaks and prying into other people's personal business.

Di


Di

then it will be suggested that independent help be sought from suitably trained people, elsewhere. Helen Robin ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++ "LilMtnCbn" <lilmtncbn@aol.comnospam> wrote in message news:20031126083605.10131.00000964@mb-m01.aol.com...> http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/story.jsp?story=467341>> Service set up to help find birth parents

"Dian" <patrice68@bigpond.com.au> wrote in message
news:c599139c.0311290410.6add8d13@posting.google.c om... "helicon" <helicon@eircom.net> wrote in message
news:<b7Ixb.2411$nm6.16873@news.indigo.ie>... "Robin" <nospam@harritt.net> wrote in message news:BBEBC26E.29C04%nospam@harritt.net... in article konxb.2302$nm6.16790@news.indigo.ie, helicon at helicon@eircom.net wrote on 27/11/03 1:13 pm:
<snip>
There ARE "qualified counsellors" in most agencies, but "forcing people
to have counselling" is really not the correct way to put it, in my
opinion. People who are searching are *interviewed*. It is not therapeutic counselling, or psychotherapy, it is largely an exchange of information.
If someone has obvious serious issues or problems that will impact
negatively on either the person being searched for, or the searcher, Has it not dawned on you that those serious issues/problems might be created by not being given their information and being taunted by the keepers of it sitting right there in front of them and refusing ot and it over, making them beg for it instead? Tell me why social workers have to stick their busy beaks into their clients personal information anyway? The client should be given their information and if they ask for support only then should it be made available. Social workers should stop being such control freaks and prying into other people's personal business.
then it will be suggested that independent help be sought from suitably trained people, elsewhere.

What was the point in splitting that sentence? - here it is as I wrote it:

If someone has obvious serious issues or problems that will impact
negatively on either the person being searched for, or the searcher, then it will
be suggested that independent help be sought from suitably trained people, elsewhere.

The main reason why the agencies are not likely to divulge all that is in
the files - what is called 'identifying information' - without permission,
is because some of it is the private and personal information relating to
someone else. There is also the little matter that it is up to the agency to
do the search, as they are likely to have 'contact names and numbers',
perhaps of a trusted third party.

I have not come across an agency here that refuses to divulge
non-identifying information. I have *never* heard of someone "being being
taunted by the keepers of it sitting right there in front of them and refusing ot and it over, making them beg for it instead?"

I know there are many examples in the wider community, but have you never
come across a birth mother, or an adopted person who is, let's say, 'mad,
bad and dangerous to know'? :-) Do you not think that the 'other person'
should at least be warned/supported?

Or what do you think should happen in the case of an adopted person with
severe learning difficulties, suffering from intermittent mental illness,
and searching for his birth mother - who was unaware that the child she had
placed for adopton had serious special needs? I know of an instance exactly
like that, where even the *agency* was unaware of the adopted person's
difficulties until just before the mother arrived to meet her son for the
first time.

It would be great if search and reunion could be nice and easy for all. Life
isn't like that, unfortunately. Most/all agencies here *only do* search and
reunion. Some do assessments for intercountry adoption, but they are no
longer actually placing children for adoption. Their files go back to the
50s and before which means the birth mothers' ages range from late 30s to
middle age, old age and late old age. Most of the delays have to do with
*searching* - because of passage of time and changes in names and addresses,
and even the death of the principals involved.

Helen



Helen Robin ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++ > "LilMtnCbn" <lilmtncbn@aol.comnospam> wrote in message > news:20031126083605.10131.00000964@mb-m01.aol.com... >> http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/story.jsp?story=467341 >> >> Service set up to help find birth parents