I currently live in Fort Wayne Indiana with my mother and I am not happy.

I want to come and live with my father out in Arizona, not only for the beatiful weather but I am happy. I come out to visit him every summer and spring break. This spring break it came to me to have a civil and mature conversation with my mom, and I asked her if i could move out to Arizona with my father. I dont only want to move out here with my father because I am happy but for school. My life long dream is to graduate from ASU. To go to ASU I need to live in the state for more than a year so I dont have to pay out of state tutition, and we don't have the money. But to where i was heading my mom said i don't know which means no. My dad pays her $150 a week for child support and none of it goes to me. I have to pay for my clothes and things that I NEED! Yes she buys me food but thats it! My mom constintly brings me down when your parents are suppose to bring you up! She says "Cassie stand up tall your gut is sticking out. Cassie stop pestering me." I try to talk to my mom and have a mother and daughter relationship with her but it always fails! She will either walk out of the room our turn the t.v. up. But you see my father talks to me I can tell him every thing. Back with mith mom I am unhappy depressed i have an anger problem. Not to long ago I let my self go because I didn't have my dad. I started to drink more, do drugs, and have sex with multiple partners, i also quit my job for sexual harrasment and low pay when I worked very hard. I NEED HELP! I want to have a good life and be happy but it all seems to be turned down by her. My father works hard to send her child support and it doesn't go to me and thats wrong! He left her the house and everything that came with it! I haven't been to the dentist in I don't know how long YEARS!!!! I am scared to go home to her at times! Yes I have very little freedom but thats not why I am writing this.

On school nights I have to be in by 8:00 p.m. I can only stay the night one day at a friends house each week, I am limited on my freedom. I am 16 years old going on 17. I am very mature for my age. My mom thinks that I know nothing and just brings me down. I am nothing to her but MONEY! She doesn't want to let me go because then she wont get her child support! When I am with my dad he buys me what I need like clothes and such even when he has NO money! That's what amazes me about him he is my support! he lifts me up when I am down. He calls every day just to see how things are. He sends me money when I most desperately need things. He sent me $80 for shoes, $25 for my hair to get done adn cut, $40 for a year book which i treasure because I love school and memories.

Last year I made the honor roll i had a 3.555 g.p.a. algebra is my favorite subject. I love school and this year i fell down hard! I felt like I was nothing I tried to get back up but my mom wasn't there to help. I feel mentaly abused! I feel major neglect by not talking. She doesn't help me she calls me names like an elementary student. She is childish and unhappy. I feel sorry for her but then again I don't because she is only doing it to herself.

PLEASE HELP ME!!!!! Show me answers and guide me in the right path to help fullfill my life long dream and to be happy and raised with unconditonal love in the home. HELP ME BY GIVING ME ANSWERS TO LIVE WITH MY DAD!

Thank you very much for taking time out of your day to give me answers!

I grew up in a strict household with my mother as the sole parent. I was also miserable. All I wanted to do was turn 18 so I can be on my own. You are only a year away. If your father fights for custody it would take time and money. The best way is to ignore her. Call your dad and talk to him. Surround yourself with positive people and do not turn to negative influences. You are a smart girl for finding this site and asking for help. No matter how hard you try to get along with your mother it probably won't work at this time.
I'm sure your mother has issues herself and it's not easy being a teenager. Hang in there please. Things will get better but you have to be strong and not make things worse by drinking or smoking or being around negative freinds. The grass always seem greener on the other side. But if you lived with your dad and did these things how would your relationship with him be different?
It is very hard to raise a child not to mention if your mother is doing it by herself. $150.00 a week is not alot to live on. When you turn 18 and move out you will miss her because you will probably never live with her ever again. Do you have a part time job? Maybe picking up one will keep you more occupied and help pass the time in a more poductive manner. Plus I'm sure you can do something with the money made.

It is easy to idealize the non-custodial parent and their living in a sunny place. I suggest that you grin and bear it until age 18, and you also may want to talk with a school counselor about your situation. It may be that you need to do well in school in case you need to seek emancipation but you also may want to ask your father to pursue custody of you and find out if he can afford to.