I really am not sure where to start or what excally I am looking for. I am now living in Texas. Lived in MO. Got divorsed and all in MO. I moved here for a number of reasons. One was for a better life for my three boys. Another good one was to get away from my controlling ex husband and his new girlfriend. I talked to my lawyer. Had one becouse agian my ex found a way to get us back in court. We seem to be going every year since the divorse in 2004. I did everything I was to do so that the kids and I could move. My lawyer has copies of everything and said I was in the right to move. I get us down here and the kids are in school and doing well. A week after we move he (my ex) calls my mom and scared her by telling her that he was going to either get a court order for us to move or he was comming down here to get them from me. He also told her that he will get a lawyer (due to his mom paying for it) and get the kids from me. Well here we are five months later, I get served with papers to go back to court. He was 50/50 and a whole lot more. Hafe I dont understand. I do have a lawyer from legal aid that I talk to. I am trying to get legal aid here to help. I am waiting to know what they are doing. I have seen post where the mother and kids have been in another state for a while and were able to stay. Is there a law stating that since we are here and he signed all that papers that we can stay? Or is he going to get me to move the kids back? I am also scared that when I take them to him for the summer that he will try to keep them from me? Any ideas would be great. I am so worried that he will take the kids from me and they wont be safe. He is very controlling and has to take angermangement classes. There is alot more. Like everyones. I just need someone who I can talk to. Thanks. A

Wait, are you saying you have written proof that he consented to the move? How long have you been in Texas? It makes a difference.

Yes I do have. I sent him a certified letter, which he refused to pick up. So the next week I talked to him in person and told him what I wanted to do. Two weeks later Oct. 31. WE met at the court house and he signed a letter stating that it was okay for me to move the kids and that the vistiation was to me that I take them to Mo when they get out of school and I will come back to get them before they return. I waited his 30 days to fight it and talked to my lawyer and moved after she told me that I was good to go. I am trying to keep him from being at my home. It is a safety issues for me. Peace of mind thing.We have been here since Dec 6, 2005. Any thing else I can tell you just ask. I got copies of everything. I am also worried that the judge we are going in front of just gave me ex a wonderful break. My ex stood on the stand and told the judge he quit his job to not have to pay support. The judge lower support by $200.00 an month and retroed(sp) it back a year. I am a bit worried.

Yes I do have. I sent him a certified letter, which he refused to pick up. So the next week I talked to him in person and told him what I wanted to do. Two weeks later Oct. 31. WE met at the court house and he signed a letter stating that it was okay for me to move the kids and that the vistiation was to me that I take them to Mo when they get out of school and I will come back to get them before they return. I waited his 30 days to fight it and talked to my lawyer and moved after she told me that I was good to go. I am trying to keep him from being at my home. It is a safety issues for me. Peace of mind thing.We have been here since Dec 6, 2005. Any thing else I can tell you just ask. I got copies of everything. I am also worried that the judge we are going in front of just gave me ex a wonderful break. My ex stood on the stand and told the judge he quit his job to not have to pay support. The judge lower support by $200.00 an month and retroed(sp) it back a year. I am a bit worried.

Okay, relax. If he signed the letter of consent for you to move, you have no worries other than him being an idiot. Sure, he can TRY to force the kids back, but the judge is not going to like him changing his mind after he had ample time to try to stop you and signed the letter. You did exactly what you were suppose to do. You do not have to let him into your home. You can't keep him out of your state or city, but you can refuse to let him come into your home.

Have you been in Tx for 6 months? I ask, because if he decides to file suit in Mo, you can have an attorney represent you here and petition for change of jurisdiction. If that happens, then he will have to come to TX for court. Sometimes, that works as a deterrent to people trying to cause problems for others. Now, just breathe.

From what you have stated, no, he cannot keep them after the visitation time is up.

PS: just a thought, if you have been here for 6 months, I would suggest you look into changing jurisdiction whether he files in Mo, or not. It will be helpful to you if he decides to cause issues in the future.

Okay, relax. If he signed the letter of consent for you to move, you have no worries other than him being an idiot. Sure, he can TRY to force the kids back, but the judge is not going to like him changing his mind after he had ample time to try to stop you and signed the letter. You did exactly what you were suppose to do. You do not have to let him into your home. You can't keep him out of your state or city, but you can refuse to let him come into your home.

Have you been in Tx for 6 months? I ask, because if he decides to file suit in Mo, you can have an attorney represent you here and petition for change of jurisdiction. If that happens, then he will have to come to TX for court. Sometimes, that works as a deterrent to people trying to cause problems for others. Now, just breathe.

From what you have stated, no, he cannot keep them after the visitation time is up.

PS: just a thought, if you have been here for 6 months, I would suggest you look into changing jurisdiction whether he files in Mo, or not. It will be helpful to you if he decides to cause issues in the future.

She can go ahead and request a change of jurisdiction now by sending a written request to the original court and to the court in the county the children now reside (provided they have lived in the county for more then 90 days and in the state for over 6 months). First, he original court would either give permission or deny the request. If permission IS given, The letter from the original court needs to be attached to the letter to the NEW court asking them to ACCEPT jurisdiction over the case.

Since the move was done properly, she should be able to have the jurisdiction for the custody/visitation moved. But there are some judges that don't want to give up control over cases they have heard by allowing the change.

I havent been here 6 months yet. I will be next month as if that helps me out any. I was wondering about changing the jurisdiction. I know that if I do change this that he will most likey leave me alone. Its all about the money and cntrol of me. He has always been this way. Thanks.

She can go ahead and request a change of jurisdiction now by sending a written request to the original court and to the court in the county the children now reside (provided they have lived in the county for more then 90 days and in the state for over 6 months). First, he original court would either give permission or deny the request. If permission IS given, The letter from the original court needs to be attached to the letter to the NEW court asking them to ACCEPT jurisdiction over the case.

Since the move was done properly, she should be able to have the jurisdiction for the custody/visitation moved. But there are some judges that don't want to give up control over cases they have heard by allowing the change.
I dont see this judge giving up control. We are from a small town and this is the judge that gave him a break on the child support and had it go back a year even after my ex stood on the stand and told the judge that he quit his job just so he did not have to pay support. Just so you know he is still $7000.00 behind Thanks.

Okay, the minute you have established legal residency, request a change for jurisdiction. If you can afford it, an attorney may help you get more favorable results. You don't HAVE to have an attorney, but it is a sad fact that many courts give more weight to the ones with the attorney.

I have legal aid that is my lawyer. In Mo, I had her and she works for legal aid. She is willing to keep this case if or when I can get the legal aid here to refer the case to her. Which I hope is soon since I only have 30 days. I am wondering if it is better to have the case down here or up there. I dont know all about the laws and all that there needs to be done. My main worry is that he is going to get what he wants and I will lose the kids. I know its over the money. I am willing to sign an paper work to forgive the child support he is behind on if he will sign over his rights. Can that be done?

I have legal aid that is my lawyer. In Mo, I had her and she works for legal aid. She is willing to keep this case if or when I can get the legal aid here to refer the case to her. Which I hope is soon since I only have 30 days. I am wondering if it is better to have the case down here or up there. I dont know all about the laws and all that there needs to be done. My main worry is that he is going to get what he wants and I will lose the kids. I know its over the money. I am willing to sign an paper work to forgive the child support he is behind on if he will sign over his rights. Can that be done?

It's very doubtful that a judge will allow his rights to be terminated without a step parent adoption. The fact that you are using legal aid alone is proof enough to the court that you are not able to finacially support the child without any assistance, be it in the form of child support or government benefits.

I am getting married we thought of waiting another year to do it so my family can be here. Do you think that I should go ahead and get married? Do you think that will make a difference? I know that we do not have a lot of money, that is part of the reason for the move so I can get a better job. I have been supporting the kids without child support most of the time.He is $7000.00 behind. Thanks for everything.

I am getting married we thought of waiting another year to do it so my family can be here. Do you think that I should go ahead and get married? Do you think that will make a difference? I know that we do not have a lot of money, that is part of the reason for the move so I can get a better job. I have been supporting the kids without child support most of the time.He is $7000.00 behind. Thanks for everything.

Getting married right away won't change your chances for a TPR.

The MO. judge may grant the change in jurisdiction for the CUSTODY matter and keep CS in his court (which is normal).

Texas is one of the few states that will allow a TPR W/O a step parent adoption, in certain cases. Mostly, it will depend on your judge. Many judges would rather word the court order so that dad has no visitation to speak of (basically leaving that parent with no parental RIGHTS), yet they still retain their parental RESPONSIBILTIES (child support). This way, if something were to happen and you could not support the child on your own, you can enforce the child support or if the child receives government assistance, the state has someone to go after for reimbursement.

I've supported my children with NO help from dad for 7 YEARS. What little CS has been paid is all accounted for (and then some) in the form of college funds for the children. He is also subject to a protective order that prevents him from making ANY type of contact with me or the children. He is not even allowed to ask OTHER PEOPLE about us. If he wants any kind of information, he has to go through the court. The judge then decides if he really NEEDS the information. If they determain that he does, a request for the info is sent to me and I get to make the final decision on what, if anything to tell him. Yet, I STILL can't get a TPR.

Each judge and each case is different though. When step parent adoption comes up, most judge like for the parties to be married at least a year before granting the adoption. Plus the new husband has to be willing to adopt the child.

What does TPR mean? I know that I dont understand alot of this so thas is why I am asking alot of questions. I know right now I cant keep him fromthe kids, but how can I keep him from me? The order you have where he has to talk to the court how did you do this? I am sure there was a lot of things to it so I hope I am not asking something out of line. Thanks

TPR is termination of Parental Rights.

My custody order was done during my divorce. Basically, I had to prove to the judge that he was unfit and a liar. He did everything he could to drag out our divorce for as long as possible. The first set of temporary orders gave me full custody and he got no visitation because I couldn't find him to serve him with the papers. A year went by with him stalling every step of the way, so when I finally got him in court, I asked that he only be given supervised visits because the kids didn't know him. I also asked for a psych evaluation and drug/alcohold evaluation because his behaviour over the previous year.

He got out of it by admitting he had a problem, but he told the judge he hadn't had a single drink in over 6 months (which was kind of true, because there was never a day in those 6 months that he only had a SINGLE drink, it was more like 10-12). Two days after the hearing, I caught him in a bar drinking and brought him back to court.

We went around like that for another 6 months. He'd lie in court, I'd PROVE he lied, the judge would give him another chance. Finally he was ordered to go though the evaluation and several other things I asked for, during which time he would have supervised visitation ever other Saturday and a hearing was scheduled for 6 months later to set regular visitation if he followed all of the rules.

He never did anything and didn't even show for the hearing. Since he violatied the previous order AND was not in court to give his side of the story, the judge had no choice but to place all of the restrictions I was asking for into the final custody order.

He will always have the option of modifying the order and asking for visitation, but I set it up so that he will have to follow a very strict set of guidelines, complete several different tasks AND be current on ALL support (child support & medical support), before he can even ASK the judge for any kind of contact with the kids.

It took 2 years, all of my savings, my retirement account, I maxed out every credit card I had, borrowed every penny I could from the bank, friends and family and sold almost every one of my possessions that had any value at all, but it was worth it.

To keep your kids safe it is always worth it. I am sorry you had such rotten luck but it sounds like it turned out for the best. I am wishing I had played hard ball from the start and not given the benifit of the doubt to him. It is hurting me now since he is trying to take all my rights from me and the rough part is I have the kids and always taken care of them. He has not really done anything intil the last year and that was only seeing them on his weekends. He would not attend the games or anything since it got in the way of his drinking time. It all just rough and really suxs. Thanks.

To keep your kids safe it is always worth it. I am sorry you had such rotten luck but it sounds like it turned out for the best. I am wishing I had played hard ball from the start and not given the benifit of the doubt to him. It is hurting me now since he is trying to take all my rights from me and the rough part is I have the kids and always taken care of them. He has not really done anything intil the last year and that was only seeing them on his weekends. He would not attend the games or anything since it got in the way of his drinking time. It all just rough and really suxs. Thanks.

It has nothing to do with YOU giving him the benefit of doubt. It's a matter of LAW.

I never had any "bad luck" during my case. Everything went exactly how it should have to get to the eventual outcome. A judge is NOT just going to take away a person's right to be a parent except in VERY NARROW cases, like ones where the parent has actually harmed the child. Even then, depending on what was done by the parent in question, the judge WILL give that parent every possible chance to be a part of the child's life.

The outcome in MY case had more to do with HIM NOT taking the chances that were given to him then anything else. Had I given up and quit pushing the matter, he would have probably ended up with regular visitation that he would have rarely, if ever, tried to use. It wasn't worth the chance that he MIGHT drop in out out of their lives to ME, so I continued fighting for the order I wanted.

The biggest problem with YOUR case is going to be the fact that he WANTS to be a parent. The judge will look at his actions NOW to decide. His PAST problems don't count for much. The judge will most likely place many restrictions on him at first, but if he follows everything that the judge orders, there's nothing that YOU can do to stop him from having a relationship with the child.

That's where MOST people get confused. The outcome of a case has absolutely NOTHING to do with what EITHER parent WANTS or THINKS. It is completely at the descression of the COURT.

I dont have a problem with him wanting to have anything to do with the kids. I just know that this is not about the kids. I am not trying to be a bad person or sound like I am. I am happy to have the kids dad in thier lives. It is a good thing for the kids to have him in thier lives. Even if he is has not been a good person to me. The kids will have to deside when they are old enough weather or not they let him in thier lives. I am just wanting to find a way so that he can not contuine to try to control me and me being so worried and scared of what he will try to do to me all the time. I am just asking questions that I have been told that I can do and about things I dont understand. I am sorry if things I have asked sounds like I am trying to be unfair. I am just worn down with all the things that he has done. I am sorry if something I said had upset you. I am not meaning to upset anyone. Dealing with all this has really gotten me feeling lost. I just want what is best for my kids.