My husband has two children with his ex wife whom we do support and have visitation with. Since our marriage, things have not been the greatest between us and the ex but I believe that is the norm in most cases. I, as the stepmom, am usually the one to pick up the children from daycare for our weekend as well as deliver the children home. Husband wants nothing to do with his ex because of all the confrontation between her family and him. It has been working for the better because I have never had a face-to-face argument with any of them. I have, however, voiced my opinions in some letters which I keep copies of, especially if I or my husband are having concerns about my stepkids. It has lead to some pretty heated discussions, but it always turns out well and everyone gets over it.

Here's the thing...His ex does not have a very stable life. She moves the kids from house to house, never can keep a job, commits every kind of government fraud, and her mom tags along for the ride. The ex has now moved herself, the kids, and her mother in with the kid's uncle and his girlfriend. It wouldn't be such of a problem except that if we do or say something that she doesn't like, then she gets her brother to call and badger us. He has called my cell phone twice with threatening messages to the effect of: Why don't you call and deal with me? Don't worry about seeing the kids anymore cause I'm sick of your s--t! As long as the kids are in my house you can play by my rules! I'm going to sell everything I own to help my sister drag your a-s through court!

Those don't even begin to cover it. There is no sense in this. He's trying to be a control freak and he's just stressing us out. I'm wanting to modify the decree to include the following things.

-Plaintiff’s family is not to call or have contact with the defendant or his spouse, with the exception of the plaintiff herself or the plaintiff’s mother. An exception will be made for an emergency arising with either child.

-The children shall be dropped off and picked up only by the defendant or his spouse, the plaintiff, or the plaintiff's mother and will be done at a neutral location midway of both party’s residences.

- Plaintiff shall provide the defendant with her own phone number, as well as providing the defendant with any new mailing and physical addresses or phone numbers within 10 days of a change.

Do you think we can get it? There are also other modifications we are seeking not having to do with this ordeal, but I'll post them in a different thread.

I'm wanting to modify the decree to include the following things.

-Plaintiff’s family is not to call or have contact with the defendant or his spouse, with the exception of the plaintiff herself or the plaintiff’s mother. An exception will be made for an emergency arising with either child.

-The children shall be dropped off and picked up only by the defendant or his spouse, the plaintiff, or the plaintiff's mother and will be done at a neutral location midway of both party’s residences.

- Plaintiff shall provide the defendant with her own phone number, as well as providing the defendant with any new mailing and physical addresses or phone numbers within 10 days of a change.

Do you think we can get it? There are also other modifications we are seeking not having to do with this ordeal, but I'll post them in a different thread.

You won't be able to get an order saying the mother's family can't contact you, you'd have to get some sort of restraining order to enforce something like that.

A drop off "safe" zone could be ordered, that isn't unreasonable.

The mother should be providing you with contact information anyway, so this would only be stating the obvious. Also keep in mind that just because it's put in writing doesn't mean she'll do it, if she doesn't your only option is to hold her in contempt of court which costs money and time and you have to decide if it's worth the hassle over not providing you with current phone numbers.

I don't think you have enough of a change to warrant a modification. What I'd suggest is to pay any attorney to write a letter to the mother demanding that she follow the rules you've stated above - or you will take her to court for a modification of custody. She won't be "ordered" by the court to do so, but sometimes getting a letter from an attorney will spur someone to take you seriously. But with this type of person, the effect usually only last for a while.

You may just need to wade through the BS, don't take thier threats. Most likely the threats are empty. They will continue to bully you and make threats as long as you continue to react to them. Keep your conversations short and to the point and only about the children. Find a nuetral meeting place for drop off / pick up and stick to it. That's all you can do. Going to court over the items you have listed probably aren't enough to get a judge to take you seriously. But you can always try if you have time and resources.