I have a three year old daughter with a woman I was never married to. I have always been in my daughters life and her primary caregiver. (I live in VA). When we split up when she was 18 months her mother took her from me for two months and wouldn't let me see her but then came and dropped her off at my house where she stayed for 6 months and told me "here now you deal with her". Her mother at this time was out partying with friends. When my daughter was 2 her mother and I made a verbal agreement to split time 50/50 with our daughter. Last year I got married and I now have a son with my wife. In January, my daughters mother moved to another state (an hour away) very unexpectedly. At that time she enrolled my daughter in a preschool and refused to let me see her. I rarely even get to talk to her because her mom won't pick up the phone. Shortly after she moved I obtained a lawyer and filed for custody. Since the hearing won't be for several months my lawyer set up a pendente lite hearing (which BM didn't show for) and I was awarded every other weekend until trial. I recently found out that her mother has enrolled her in ballet and soccer, which is something I wanted to enroll her in when she was here but her mother didn't want to. (By the way my daughter's grandmother is paying for her preschool and activities not her mother) Her mother refuses to give me the names and addresses of her school or activities. I have driven up to where she lives weekly to try to see my daughter (before temp order), for the most part with no success. Her mother is very unstable in the areas of housing and employment and has moved 4 times in 18 months and changed jobs 4 times as well. My daughter is used to being with me well over 50% of the time and now she can hardly see me at all. I am worried for her safety because she is living in a house with her mothers boyfriend whom I don't know anything about and she lets her stay alone with him at night while she goes to school. I believe the motivation behind her doing all this is because she is jealous of my new life and she saw that her daughter was becoming very close to my wife (she stayed home with the kids everyday). Will the judge rule in her mother's favor because that is where she is living now? I believe that is why she has enrolled her in all these activities in order to sway the judge's decision. What are my chances of winning? If I do win I have no intention of preventing my daughter from seeing her mother as she is doing to me now.

What ever the outcome, be strong and positive. Things will get better..
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Adapting To A New Carer (http://www.mensarticles.com/parents/980-adaptingtoanewcarer.html)

Document, document, document. Be sure to find any proof about the time your daughter lived with you. (Doctor's bills and such) I have no way of predicting what a judge will rule. I can tell you though, that the judge may not like that she didn't bother to show up for court (unless her attorney made an appearance in court on her behalf) and is still not 'allowing' visitation. Have you filed contempt charges against her? If not, you need to every single time she refuses to let you visit your daughter. But, I can say that if what you have posted is factual, I send you all the well wishes and hope that I can.

No she did not appear in court, nor did a lawyer on her behalf. I am documenting everything in a journal. And I have witnesses that can attest to the fact that I have been her primary caregiver all of her life. Since the temp court order (1 month ago), she has allowed her to come everyother weekend, so she is not in contempt, but she does not allow her to call me at all or give me any information about her what so ever. I just don't understand how a mother can put their child through this and try to alienate them from another parent and take them away from the person who has raised them. I hope the judge sees that this is not in the best interest of our daughter and that this is damaging her emotionally

anyone been through the courts in VA for custody????