I am a physician, and practice in Indiana. I am in a 6 physician practice. I am female, and my spouse works as a pharmaceutical research chemist. We have an 8yo son. All of the doctors are married, and all have children. Mine is the only one who is school aged and not old enough, legally, to stay home alone unattended. Two of the other doctors are married to each other, and have two preschoolers, aged 3 and 1 yr. The others have stay at home, non-working spouses. One of the other doctors has a 2yo and wife is pregnant. The other two have children who are middle school aged or older. We are all employed by the hospital where we admit patients.

My problem is getting hassled for taking vacation when my son is out of school. Basically, that would be spring break (this week, April 3-7,varies from year to year), the week before Christmas (about Dec 20-24, varies from year to year), the first week school is out in summer (the week immediately following Memorial Day plus the Friday immediately before, which is always the first day of summer break). I also take off the Mondays that are school holidays, which this year was President's day only, because there were snow days that accounted for the other Monday holidays. When he is dismissed early, I work until after care ends, which sometimes is noon, sometimes 3pm, sometimes 6pm, depending on the whim of the extended care director. I never use up all my PTO, and I always request my vacation time at the time I get the school calendar at the beginning of the academic year.

The hassling takes the form of retaliation by other doctors in the group. Last year, for example, three doctors took off the week after I returned in June. Several days that week, I was the only doctor working in the office. We each, also, have one week day off a week routinely, and I was asked to give up my day off because everybody else was out of the office. The same thing was true the week between Christmas and New Year's. The day after Thanksgiving, also, I was the only doctor working, as well. Additionally, the doctor who does the call schedule insisted upon putting me on call Memorial day weekend, which I simply could not do, because my son get out of school noon on Thursday.

Now, logically speaking, it has to be ok for two doctors to have vacation the same time, otherwise the married couple could never take vacation. Before I had my son, and the ones who children wanted to take vacation with their families, I never retaliated in this manner against them. I just covered for them, and was glad to do so. But, they aren't the one's who are doing this--it is the one's with the preschoolers, as if they don't have the insight to know that the tables will soon be turned. I'm not so happy to cover for people who do all they can to make me miserable about taking vacation. The woman with the 3yo and 1yo already has started innuendo about how interesting it will be when all their kids are needing to be in school and covering spring break.

Actually, in all this, I am really just trying to cover the days when my son is out of school and I don't have alternative child care. The married couple, as a matter of fact, have three days off between them each week--M, T, and W. They are both scheduled to work only Th and F. One of them works part time--75%. Actually, at Christmas, I take off one week and my husband takes off the other, because, really, only one of us needs to be home with our son at a time. My son is in a summer program that starts the first full week in June, not the week immediately following Memorial day. Spring break is self-explanatory.

Oh yes, personally, in terms of holiday call (which I believe we should all take our turn), I don't see much difference between Memorial day and Labor day for those who don't have kids in school. The difference is that school starts Aug 15 or so, so Labor day weekend is a big nothing. No problem at all working then. Husband has Monday off, so I can work then. I have not been on call Labor day weekend since 1998. The reason--the male doctor married to the female doctor noted above "likes" to do that holiday. I should think so. It is a non-holiday holiday.

It would be nice if your employer would not "hassle" you for when you want to take your vacation, etc. because of your child. However, parenthood is not a protected class in your state or federally. So, even if it is discrimination or "retaliation" (which it may or may not be), it is not illegal discrimination and the retaliation is not related to a legally protected right of yours.

I think you need to look at it from your coworkers' point of view. All the time and dates you describe are the prime vacation times whether you have kids or not. I'm sure those with little ones or even those with grown children wouldn't mind having an extended break at Christmas, Easter and the long weekends provided by holidays. For you to automatically get all of them every year for the next 10 years when your kid goes off to college is asking a lot. Even if one or two others may get those same holidays, no one is getting all of them except you. It isn't your coworker's fault that your husband can not watch your son more often or that you do not have alternative day care arrangements.

I would be thankful that you have been allowed your choice of schedule this long and look into alternative arrangements for at least some of the days your son is out of school. Perhaps he could spend time with another relative for a day or two, or one of his classmates may have a parent who is off and willing to look after him. Your coworkers' resentment is not in any way illegal. The only way to really lessen it is to stop doing the things that upset them.

6 doctors in a practice. Are you an employee in the true sense of the word, or are you a partner or shareholder in the practice. if so, then employment laws would not apply. You might have a minority shareholder or oppressed partner action, but doubtful. If an owner, and this is the way your co-owners treat you, you might want to see an attorney anyway since this doesn't bode well for the future.

curt j.

The Supreme Court in Phillips v. Martin Marietta Corp. ruled many years ago that Title VII's prohibition against sex discrimination means that employers cannot discriminate on the basis of sex plus other factors such as having school age children.

However, Title VII governs the employee-employer relationship where the employer has at least 15 employees. As CurtJ notes, it's not clear that you are an employee.

Thank you very much for your input. To put the situation into better perspective, actually, I have been in this practice for 15 years. The vacation situation has only been a problem since the newer doctors joined about 5 years ago. The other woman doctor took 8 wk leaves with both pregnancies, once of which lasted from the first of November until after the first of the next year (2002-2003), and the second was last summer, which lasted from about May 1 to July 1. During this time, none of the rest of the doctors were allowed to schedule vacation time (which was a VERY difficult situation). She is the one who snipes the most about other doctors having vacation. In my case, I never take the week off between Christmas and New Years, because my husband has off then. I would only take Good Friday off, because it is a religious holiday at the Catholic school my son attends--not an extended break. This actually is only a half day, if at all. Last year, I was on call Easter weekend, so, I actually ended up having my son at work after he got out of school. Believe me, I would avoid vacationing at spring break if I could. It is expensive and overcrowded.

Before my son actually started first grade, he attended day care at the hospital, which was open every day of the year excepting the week before Christmas. Before my son was too old for that facility, I would be able to have in stay at the hospital day care during school holidays.

The hospital has a total of more than 15 employed physicians, to say nothing of the nurses, respiratory therapists, clerical workers, etc. Our office alone employs over 50 individuals in all job descriptions.

Taking time off for several weeks because one has just given birth is very different than taking off all the holidays because you lack alternative day care.

Still, resentment over your schedule isn't illegal. The best way to deal with it is to talk to your coworkers and see if you can work out a compromise on vacation schedules. Surely there has to be some other option for some of those days besides you taking off.

Like what? My parents are deceased, so Gramma and Grampa are not an option. My neighbors all work, so, that is not an option. My siblings live thousands of miles away, so that is not an option. Drop in daycare only runs to kindergarten age, so that is not an option. When school is closed, aftercare is not an option. Stay at home moms resent babysitting on school holidays, thinking that it is an imposition, even if I would offer to pay, which I would gladly do. Bringing my son to work with me greatly reduces my productivity, and he is not old enough to leave at home. Actually, my problem is more that I am on call, and working all the holidays (Easter, Christmas, Thanksgiving the past 12 mos), and not that I get all the holidays off. On holidays only one doctor works. I was the only doctor working on Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving weekend, for example. I was the only doctor working Dec26, which was the day our office was closed for Christmas. I was the only doctor in the office Dec. 27, so, every doctor who wasn't on call obviously was off from Dec. 24-27. I was the only doctor working Holy Saturday and Easter last year. To me, fairness dictates that I would next be on call Easter, Thanksgiving or Christmas weekend in 2011, at which time my son will be in 7th grade, 13yo, and legal to stay home alone for a few hours. My option appears to find another location to practice medicine, that is closer to my siblings, as my SIL would probably be amenable to sitting for my son on school days off. However, quite frankly, that really comes down to suing my present coworkers for harrassing me into leaving the practice.

...which is a suit you would not win. I'm another one who doesn't think it is reasonable of you to expect to get all the holidays off. Your child care arrangements are not the practice's problem.

Title VII of the Civil Rights Act would not require your employer to give you preferential treatment because you are a female with a school age child. That means your employer doesn't have to allow you to have every school holiday off simply because your child is out of school and needs your care on those days. Rather, it prohibits your employer from treating you adversely because you are a female with a school age child. Whatever rules governing granting and scheduling vacation have to applied without regard to your sex or the fact that you have a school age child. You haven't indicated the rules, so it's difficult to determine whether you have been treated disparately.

You should be able to find day care for your son where you are. I can't imagine that every stay at home mom resents keeping the child of a working mom on school holidays. You should be able to work out an arrangement with the parents of some of your son's schoolmates or with the stay-at-home spouse of your colleagues. You could also hire a babysitter (college student or high school who is also off on the holiday) for the days you can't be off. Since your employer provides for daycare, you might try working out an arrangement with the daycare providers to allow your son to stay at that facility on the holidays that you can't be with him. Fortunately, I live in an area where there are lots of options for day care. We have facilities, some of which are national chains, that provide before and after school care and care on holidays. If you live in a fairly large city, you might be able to find such a facility. I've also known in-home daycares that keep children of working parents only on school holidays.

Employers are beginning to recognize that child care arrangements and other matters that heretofore were considered strictly personal, do impact their bottom line. They understand that Generations X,Y & Z take such things into consideration when choosing an employer or choosing to continue to work for an employer. As a result, employers are becoming more family friendly, if only to stay competitive in the job market.