Hi eone, I am currently a NCP father paying child support to mother (NJ State).
We hv a shared parenting plan and i hv almost 35% of the overnight with
my son. My support and child care itself comes to around $1200. My
ex keeps sending me bills for extra carri activities like tennis class,
swim class, music class and so on. She expects me to pay 60% of it
based on how the support is divided.

I dont mind paying for my sons activities as long as I am resposible for
such expsnes as per the guidelines. Are these expenses not covered in the support payment? Can someone help me with this as i cannot spend money on lawyers (instead let me pay the support).

thanks in advance,
toms father

You are required to pay the court ordered amount. No more, no less. She can send all the bills and itemized lists she wants. All she is doing is wasting the trees it took to make the paper. If she unilaterlly puts your child into an activity that costs extra, she unilaterally pays for it. If you decide you want to help out with the expenses, good for you. That is a very positive thing to do. However, it does not reflect badly on you to refuse to pay, especially if you are strapped and up to date on cs. :)

Caveat: if it is stated anywhere in your custody order or divorce decree that you are responsible for half of extracurricular costs, then yes, you have to pay. But, from your post, it doesn't sound like this is the case.

Thank you very much for the info.

No such thing mentioned in the divorce or the CS that I need to
pay for Extra activities. She kept insisting that she checked with
her lawyer and I am resposible for 60%. I also checked the NJ
support guidlines and it clearly states that all miscellaneous charges
like classes are included in CS. I hv paid all support as per order.

Also, my son is 4 yrs and i would like to go for joint physical custody
with 50% of overnight, as I am very active in his life and he loves to
spend time with me too. When does the court consider the case?
I did put a motion to get more overnight last year and the judge gave it
(now 35% overnight) with 3 weeks vacation. How should i approach the
case as I am planning to fight it out myself. My itention to make sure the child get equal time with both parents esp when he is enjoying his
time with both and not to reduce the CS.

Thanks again.

tfather

You would need to file for a modification of custody. If you live near him (in the same school boundaries, etc. even though he's not school age yet, he will be soon) those things will give you a better chance of getting 50/50 custody.

As far as activities expenses, like others have said, you don't have to pay anything that the court has not ordered. Activities, extra expenses are really expenses that are covered in your child support.

However, if you seek 50/50 custody, you will most likely be obligated to pay half of all cost of extra expenses since you will be 50% responsible for the child. Keep in mind that these are "agreed upon" expenses. Your ex can't put your child in 10 activities from swimming to horse back riding, hang gliding, etc. and expect you to pay for whatever she enrolls him in. But ideally you will both have his interests in mind and enroll him in activities suitable and appropriate for him - and split the cost. Even if you don't have 50/50 custody, you dont' have to pay for anything extra - unless you want to help, then you voluntarily can help pay for them.