GR
11-18-2003, 02:45 PM
On Sat, 8 Nov 2003 23:22:15 -0700 (MST), badaii@webtv.net (Windforest)
wrote:
Top Post : Actually I have GR and I really felt your pain when you weretalking about holding your daughter and how you were being treated.I thank you for sharing that. I also agreed with your response to Robynabout a week ago. I do see things from your side. I think we all get socaught up in screaming our side of it that we don't hear the other. Butyou know eventually it does sink in. Thanks, for sharig your story.Windforest
No problem. I appreciate you sharing yours as well. In responding
to it, it clarified some things for me and gave me another look at who
you are and where you are coming from. I always liked you and I still
do.
I am aware that I write a lot more about being an nmom than I do about
being an adoptee so it may appear that I am not "getting" what you are
saying when actually, I do get it. At other times I probably don't
"get" what you are saying at all. Adoptee matters are not really why
I come here and read or write. The conflicts and issues I have in
understanding what being an nmom is and means in my life are greater
and more difficult for me. I'm not sure why that is, maybe it's
because I'm adopted. Maybe it's the adoptee-light thing. It's very
different from non-family-related adoptions. The impact that being
*in* even one half of my biological family had on how I came to feel
about everything adoptee-related cannot be minimized. There are
things non-related-adoptees feel and understand that are a mystery to
me. Always have been, always will be - I had a different life. I can
know small bits and even large pieces that relate to my experience,
but I don't know your experience.
I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, ever, but becoming an nmom did
directly address "The Adoptee Questions" that I'd had all of my life.
I found out the answers to many of them, in the harshest possible way,
when I relinquished. I could then fill in those big, scary, painful
blanks. "Mothers can and do willingly leave their children
because..." and "It feels like..." and "It does not feel like..." and
"This is true..." and "This is not true..." and - most importantly -
"This is what it means..." and "This is what it does not mean..." I
still think about these issues, but it's made a tremendous difference
in how I understand myself as well as other adoption-related people.
GR
wrote:
Top Post : Actually I have GR and I really felt your pain when you weretalking about holding your daughter and how you were being treated.I thank you for sharing that. I also agreed with your response to Robynabout a week ago. I do see things from your side. I think we all get socaught up in screaming our side of it that we don't hear the other. Butyou know eventually it does sink in. Thanks, for sharig your story.Windforest
No problem. I appreciate you sharing yours as well. In responding
to it, it clarified some things for me and gave me another look at who
you are and where you are coming from. I always liked you and I still
do.
I am aware that I write a lot more about being an nmom than I do about
being an adoptee so it may appear that I am not "getting" what you are
saying when actually, I do get it. At other times I probably don't
"get" what you are saying at all. Adoptee matters are not really why
I come here and read or write. The conflicts and issues I have in
understanding what being an nmom is and means in my life are greater
and more difficult for me. I'm not sure why that is, maybe it's
because I'm adopted. Maybe it's the adoptee-light thing. It's very
different from non-family-related adoptions. The impact that being
*in* even one half of my biological family had on how I came to feel
about everything adoptee-related cannot be minimized. There are
things non-related-adoptees feel and understand that are a mystery to
me. Always have been, always will be - I had a different life. I can
know small bits and even large pieces that relate to my experience,
but I don't know your experience.
I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, ever, but becoming an nmom did
directly address "The Adoptee Questions" that I'd had all of my life.
I found out the answers to many of them, in the harshest possible way,
when I relinquished. I could then fill in those big, scary, painful
blanks. "Mothers can and do willingly leave their children
because..." and "It feels like..." and "It does not feel like..." and
"This is true..." and "This is not true..." and - most importantly -
"This is what it means..." and "This is what it does not mean..." I
still think about these issues, but it's made a tremendous difference
in how I understand myself as well as other adoption-related people.
GR
