Georgia mom to be...



I have worked for the same people for many years. I've always been told I couldn't have children. Well I just found out I was expecting. I was over-joyed and excited. Of course I told everyone at work. They were happy for me too except my employer. Because I smoke he tells me I don't need a baby and that I'm killing it. However, He says this to me every chance he gets. It's hurts my feelings and makes me very upset. What can I do to make him stop saying those things? also, Is this a form of harassment?

just curious?
thanks

No, it isn't harrassment. But it's good advice. ;)

Now that you're pregnant, have you considered quitting? There's a lot of evidence that indicates it's better for you and the baby.

Have you specifically asked him to stop?

If you're asking whether this is creating a hostile work environment, HWE has a very specific definition under the law and is based on protected characteristic such as race, age, gender, etc. Since he's doing this on the basis of your being a smoker, I'm not sure that this would constitute HWE.

Although I never smoked while I was pregnant I have severeal freinds who were told by their doctors not to quit smoking but to cut back. You're probably asking why just like I did and they all gave the same answer. Because they were smoking on a regular basis before they found out they were pregnant, by the time they found out they were pregnant just like adults the baby had developed a nicotine dependecy and by quitting completely their baby would have had to go through withdrawl just like they do but it is harder on an unborn baby to go through withdrawl than an adult. You might want to talk to your doctor about it if you haven't already and also since your employer appears to be a man you should tell him the same thing I just told you. What some people don't understand is that it is not the smoking that causes the birth defects but the manner in which a woman quits smoking. Cold turkey quitters tend to have children with birth defects because of the withdrawl the baby goes through and low-birth weight is associated with heavy smokers who don't cut back. Your doc may advise you to cut back little by little until you ween yourself and the baby off the nicotine. The last person I know who smoked during her pregnancy just cut down because she was a heavy smoker, her baby weighed almost 8lbs. but she was a certifiable nut by the time she quit because she still had to go through the withdrawl but the baby was born by then and didn't have to go through the withdrawl as well. It might not be a hostile work environment but it could be seen as harrasment since your employer has no business telling you or anyone else they don't need to have a child. It is not his place to tell you what you can or can't do with your body.

I'd take your doctor's advice on the smoking thing. I've never heard of any such thing as birth defects being caused by withdrawl. I have heard of birth defects being caused by the toxins consumed. But this is something that should be discussed with your health care professional, not free advice on a bulletin board. None of us here are doctors nad what may be recommended for one, may not be for another.