My fiance has a somewhat troubled past with an ex girlfriend. She was married at the time they were dating, and on fertility hormones. My fiance was unaware of those facts. They were only together for a few months, until he found out he was being decieved. Anyhow, she ended pregnant, it is still unsure as to who the father is, as there were "other men" in the picture and she was married.

To my knowledge no one has signed the birth certificate, and she is recently remarried. She claims that her new husband plans to addopt the baby, but she wants my fiance to sign off on it, or something to that effect.

I personally feel like this is a trap, as she has yet to proove my fiance is even the father. If he is, so be it, we will deal with it. But she has used the baby to try and get him into her bed in the past. And now threatens that he will be paying child support, since he has denied her advances.

What legally can my fiance do? Especially since she is unclear as to her intentions. She either wants my fiance to pay child support, or her husband to adopt the baby. I know she cannot have both. I don't think?

My fiance has a somewhat troubled past with an ex girlfriend. She was married at the time they were dating, and on fertility hormones. My fiance was unaware of those facts. They were only together for a few months, until he found out he was being decieved. Anyhow, she ended pregnant, it is still unsure as to who the father is, as there were "other men" in the picture and she was married.

To my knowledge no one has signed the birth certificate, and she is recently remarried. She claims that her new husband plans to addopt the baby, but she wants my fiance to sign off on it, or something to that effect.

I personally feel like this is a trap, as she has yet to proove my fiance is even the father. If he is, so be it, we will deal with it. But she has used the baby to try and get him into her bed in the past. And now threatens that he will be paying child support, since he has denied her advances.

What legally can my fiance do? Especially since she is unclear as to her intentions. She either wants my fiance to pay child support, or her husband to adopt the baby. I know she cannot have both. I don't think?

first you have to establish paternity. if she takes him to court they will order paternity, if the baby is his then he will have to pay. she just sounds like a pain, just ignore her until she files for support.

We try. It is one harrassing phone call after another though. She is supposedly happily married now, but she just wont leave my fiance alone. She writes letters to his mother, and calls his parents house. If she knew our address, I am sure she would be at our door every day. And it is never really reguarding the baby. She uses that as a weapon when she is not getting her "way" with him. I feel very sorry for that child. In the begining he was willing to be inthe babys life if it was his. He went for a visitation, and she left the baby alone in his room while she answered the door in skimpy clothes and threw herself at him.

tell your fiancee to be proactive. He can petition for a paternity test, himself. Once he takes some action, that takes some control of the situation from her. Be prepared, if the results show it is his child, to take responsibility. If she truly wants the child to be adopted by her new husband, then decide if that is agreeable to your fiancee. If it is not his child, no worries! :D

We try. It is one harrassing phone call after another though. She is supposedly happily married now, but she just wont leave my fiance alone. She writes letters to his mother, and calls his parents house. If she knew our address, I am sure she would be at our door every day. And it is never really reguarding the baby. She uses that as a weapon when she is not getting her "way" with him. I feel very sorry for that child. In the begining he was willing to be inthe babys life if it was his. He went for a visitation, and she left the baby alone in his room while she answered the door in skimpy clothes and threw herself at him.

I'd file harrassment charges against her and get a restraining order. That will send her a message that you are serious about not wanting her to bother you anymore.

If she wants child support, she will have to order a paternity test. Nothing can be done until that is ordered. I would wait for her to order it since it seems she's bluffing and you can't know what her intentions are until she actually take a serious action.

As far as him signing away his rights so that a new husband can adopt, he can't do that unless he is first determined to be the father - as for now, he isn't legally the father of that baby so he doesn't have any rights to terminate. Therefore, her asking for him to sign away rights isn't even possible until a paternity test is done.

I would again suggest a restraining order to put her in her place. If she's serious about something she can take legal action, until then everything she calls you about is just harrassment.

What I was orriginally asking was, what are his rights in the matter. He claims she litterally tricked him. She was claiming to be infertle and that is why her marriage had ended, and some sympathy story about a rape that had caused the problem in the first place (which turned out to be as false as her divorce)

I do not just believe him because he is my fiance, there are other witnesses to these events. He would not have "concented" to anything that would make a baby, if he thought even for a second that it was possible for the two of them.

She was just one of those girls who really wanted a baby, and slept with a bunch of men and lied to them about her fertility to get what she wanted. Now she has singled my fiance out. (I suspect, because he comes from a good family and is probably the only one of the potential fathers with a career)

She called our home last night, with a new story. Now her husband is not adopting, (she claims that was never mentioned at all) they just want my fiance to pay child support to them.

I am just wondering if my fiance has a legal leg to stand on in court. I see her side of the story, and I would feel differntly if she were a single mom, or had even made an attempt to be civil about all of this. But I do not think it is fair that a guy can be "tricked" into fathering a baby, and then made to pay for it like it was his mistake/responsibility. Especially since she is married now and has no real "need" for support.

I worry about this a lot. This could be very damaging to our married life, and supporting our own expenses, not to mention if we ever have children.

Child custody can be the most emotionally charged of situations. Try to look at things from an objective perspective. Your fiance has a choice to take control of this disaster of a relationship with his ex and the baby. Yes, it seems unfair, but at the risk of sounding harsh, no one should ever have casual sex with someone they absolutly do NOT want to have children with. As pleasurable as sex is, the fact remains that it is intended to concieve. Which means, unless there has been a complete removal of the reproductive organs, pregnancy is always a risk. Therefore he is responsible for any child born of such encounters, regardless of the circumstance.That said, if he has a paternity test done and is proven the father, he has several choices. The first being that he can decide to be a parent to the child and take the bad (child support and the mother as a co-parent, not romantic partner, but more like a business partner) with the good (an endlessly rewarding relationship with his child). The second is to forfeit his paternal rights ( a great loss to both your husband and the child), in exchange for no longer being responsible for the child's support. ( check your local laws to get more information)Too many people confuse the fact that child support is meant to pay for the care of a child, provide food, shelter, education,etc. NOT to give money to the custodial parent for his/her own desires. If he wants a relationship with his child (assuming the DNA test is positive) he must provide care for him/her. He may also choose to petition for custody himself, if he believes he can provide a more stable home. If he is granted said custody, she will be required to pay support. He should get the test done, and then seriously consider his options.

What I was orriginally asking was, what are his rights in the matter. He claims she litterally tricked him. She was claiming to be infertle and that is why her marriage had ended, and some sympathy story about a rape that had caused the problem in the first place (which turned out to be as false as her divorce)

I do not just believe him because he is my fiance, there are other witnesses to these events. He would not have "concented" to anything that would make a baby, if he thought even for a second that it was possible for the two of them.

She was just one of those girls who really wanted a baby, and slept with a bunch of men and lied to them about her fertility to get what she wanted. Now she has singled my fiance out. (I suspect, because he comes from a good family and is probably the only one of the potential fathers with a career)

She called our home last night, with a new story. Now her husband is not adopting, (she claims that was never mentioned at all) they just want my fiance to pay child support to them.

I am just wondering if my fiance has a legal leg to stand on in court. I see her side of the story, and I would feel differntly if she were a single mom, or had even made an attempt to be civil about all of this. But I do not think it is fair that a guy can be "tricked" into fathering a baby, and then made to pay for it like it was his mistake/responsibility. Especially since she is married now and has no real "need" for support.

I worry about this a lot. This could be very damaging to our married life, and supporting our own expenses, not to mention if we ever have children.

Unfortunately he has no rights when referring to the fact that she tricked him. I realize he had no intention of getting her pregnant and that she lied to him, but when you have sex with someone there is always risk of pregnancy. Sex = risk of pregnacy, even birth control fails at times. Therefore, just doing that act holds you responsible for any outcome regardless of whether or not you were lied to by a partner.

It's a hard thing to come to grips with, but you really need to understand the situation. If he is the father (which I think that hasn't even been determined yet), then he has a responsibility to that child no matter what. Her way of handling it, her lies, her behavior are irrelevant to the fact that he fathered a child and that child has a legal right to be supported financially. I doesn't matter if she is single, married, rich, poor, all of that is irrelevant. Some of that is relevant in determining an amount of child support, but is irrelevant whether or not support will be paid.

Before you worry too much, I would recommend again that you do nothing until she takes action to have him ordered to take a paternity test. Nothing can be done or said or assumed until she determines whether or not he is even the father. He has no rights and no obligations until that is done. If she is harrassing you, get a restraining order.

To answer your question about whether or not he has a leg to stand on in court. It all centers around whether or not he is the father. If he is, then he WILL pay child support, there is no way around that no matter how many lies she has told or crazy things she has done. This will be hard on your marriage, so I'd suggest coming to terms with the reality of it now so that you can accept it and deal with it because it will not go away. (of course if he isn't the father you have no worries).

tell your fiancee to be proactive. He can petition for a paternity test, himself. Once he takes some action, that takes some control of the situation from her. Be prepared, if the results show it is his child, to take responsibility. If she truly wants the child to be adopted by her new husband, then decide if that is agreeable to your fiancee. If it is not his child, no worries! :D

If he files though, he will have to pay for the test, no matter what the result is.

Umm, so? I would think that the price of the test is worth the peace of mind and taking some control of this situation. Listen, just because the mother is a pain in the butt, doesn't mean that it is morally all right for the POTENTIAL father to sit around and wait to see if anybody decides to determine paternity, etc. If he knows there might be a chance he is the father, then HE should do something to clarify the situation NOW. Otherwise, this child is sitting in limbo. I don't particullarly care about the adults in this situation. It's the child that is important. There are legal ways to deal with the problems between the adults. He was man enough to sleep with her, he should be man enough to take the actions necessary to resolve the situation one way or another.

Umm, so? I would think that the price of the test is worth the peace of mind and taking some control of this situation. Listen, just because the mother is a pain in the butt, doesn't mean that it is morally all right for the POTENTIAL father to sit around and wait to see if anybody decides to determine paternity, etc. If he knows there might be a chance he is the father, then HE should do something to clarify the situation NOW. Otherwise, this child is sitting in limbo. I don't particullarly care about the adults in this situation. It's the child that is important. There are legal ways to deal with the problems between the adults. He was man enough to sleep with her, he should be man enough to take the actions necessary to resolve the situation one way or another.

I agree. But the guy in THIS case doesn't seem to want anything to do with the child and it sounds like mom doesn't want him to either if her new husband is planning on adopting the child. I don't think it would be in the child's best interest to FORCE the issue when NEITHER parent wants it and the child is well taken care of as is. It would only cause a very tense situation with ALL of the parties involved. If the man has any doubt that he really is the father, he should know going in that if HE requests the test, HE will have to pay for it.

i would say that he should tell the mom that she is not getting anything until she goes to court and has a paternity test ordered. it sounds (and its always hard to tell) that the mom is only using this as a way to manipulate you. stop her manipulation by not answering the phone and ignoring her messages. until she goes to court, or he does, then this is just a harrasment situation.

And there, you just made the case of irresponsibility. It doesn't MATTER what the guy WASNTS. They didn't "trip and slip" into having a child. My original point was that he should get the paternity test, then decide if he is going to be in the child's life OR decide it would be better to let the child be adopted. How childish to sit back and say,"well, I'll just wait and hope that nothing ever comes of this." Geez, people, grow up and take care of your problems, one way or another. There is still the added benefit of taking control from the harassing woman by taking the first move. Who knows, it may turn out not to be his child, in which case he can be pissed that he spent money for the test or have the satisfaction that, yeah, he's out the money, but he's also off the hook. :)

And there, you just made the case of irresponsibility. It doesn't MATTER what the guy WASNTS. They didn't "trip and slip" into having a child. My original point was that he should get the paternity test, then decide if he is going to be in the child's life OR decide it would be better to let the child be adopted. How childish to sit back and say,"well, I'll just wait and hope that nothing ever comes of this." Geez, people, grow up and take care of your problems, one way or another. There is still the added benefit of taking control from the harassing woman by taking the first move. Who knows, it may turn out not to be his child, in which case he can be pissed that he spent money for the test or have the satisfaction that, yeah, he's out the money, but he's also off the hook. :)

Nobody said it did matter. But in a case where NEITHER parent wants dad involved and the child IS well taken care of without child support, how does FORCING the issue HELP the child? If both parents agree that this is best, to do otherwise will make things WORSE for the child, not BETTER.

If you will reread my posts, I never said he HAD to be in her life. I said get the paternity straightened out and then make the best decision. If he feels it's best to let her be adopted, then that's the end of it. By taking initiative, he can end the harassment by the mother. I just don't understand why it is ok to sit back and let other people dictate his actions. He should act, not react. :)

If you will reread my posts, I never said he HAD to be in her life. I said get the paternity straightened out and then make the best decision. If he feels it's best to let her be adopted, then that's the end of it. By taking initiative, he can end the harassment by the mother. I just don't understand why it is ok to sit back and let other people dictate his actions. He should act, not react. :)

I would argue that ordering the test himself (taking initiative) is him "reacting", to her alleged claims and harrassment. I stand by the advice that they should completely ignore this woman & get a restraining order if necessary. She is begging for attention from him and is getting it. If he takes the initiative I believe he is playing right into her schemes as he has in the past. This woman (the mother) needs to be forced to take responsibility for herself and the issues she is dealing with. If it comes time to bring him into it, it should be done by court order.

i dont think it is his child or she would have asked for a paturnity test first.if she proves it is his that is her legal way of "tricking" him into this situation .the best advise i see pay for the paturnity test now. if it turns out not to be his child you can sue her, you can legally make her leave you alone.i am asking you too.stop letting women like this have any power.from what i can tell you are the only ones who are giving her any power in your lives.even if the child is his .she cant harass his parents or your telephone if you dont let her.

If the child was conceived and born during her previous marriage the child is usually presumed a product of that marriage by the court.

That could make a big difference here.

If the child was conceived and born during her previous marriage the child is usually presumed a product of that marriage by the court.

That could make a big difference here.

That is part of what I was orriginally wondering. As far as I know she was still married at the time. And I have a friend who was in the same situation in the past. He was married, she cheated, and now he has a baby that everyone knows is not his. But his signature was forced on the birth certificate.

My fiance has a somewhat troubled past with an ex girlfriend. She was married at the time they were dating, and on fertility hormones. My fiance was unaware of those facts. They were only together for a few months, until he found out he was being decieved. Anyhow, she ended pregnant, it is still unsure as to who the father is, as there were "other men" in the picture and she was married.

To my knowledge no one has signed the birth certificate, and she is recently remarried. She claims that her new husband plans to addopt the baby, but she wants my fiance to sign off on it, or something to that effect.

I personally feel like this is a trap, as she has yet to proove my fiance is even the father. If he is, so be it, we will deal with it. But she has used the baby to try and get him into her bed in the past. And now threatens that he will be paying child support, since he has denied her advances.

What legally can my fiance do? Especially since she is unclear as to her intentions. She either wants my fiance to pay child support, or her husband to adopt the baby. I know she cannot have both. I don't think?

If no father is listed on the bc, then she can't force child support on your Fiance until he is proven the BF. There is doubt there as you mentioned several possilbe partners were in the picture,so have him take the paternity test. Don't admit to fathering a child when there is no evidence to side with him being the father. Establishing the paternity factor... well It is the right thing to do if in deed he is the dad, regardless of the fear of child support hindering him. He will have the ultimate legal right/choice of giving away his fatherly rights no one can force that on someone, He holds the balls in that court til his dying day, no matter what threats.. and obviously those threats entail her wanting him to impregnate her again... stupid move on his part if he gives in to this blackmail heaven forbid. If he choses not to keep his fatherly rights if he is the father then signiing off on the child and a new father adopting the child signs off your child support, as child support cannot be obtained for 1 child from two fathers... If the other guy adopts he becomes the legal child support obligator, not so if he does not adopt.
hope this helps ;)

That is part of what I was orriginally wondering. As far as I know she was still married at the time. And I have a friend who was in the same situation in the past. He was married, she cheated, and now he has a baby that everyone knows is not his. But his signature was forced on the birth certificate.
but i'm gathering your original post that no fathers name was entered on the bc during that marriage? and now she is into a second marriage? "new husband" . So whom is on the birth cert doesn't ultimately determine the final paternity . Regardless of the cost, go and get the paternity test done and out of the way, this child needs to know whom the father is.. and has a right to be supported by his daddy. Regardless of the trickery of a women to get pregnant against the unwilling partner, the father is ultimately the cause of a the conception whether accidental, fraudulently or on purpose. And the courts are there to represent the child and what is in that child's best interest, they are not there to support the mother nor the father, only the child. People have to keep that in mind with child support court cases. It's not the childs fault how it came to be, but it is the responsibility of unwilling father and intentioanl mother regardless. So Be the man and stop this harassment now by bringing it on and the results shall be known. Phone numbers can be changed and made silent, tell the parents that too, and return any mail to sender from her. Only harassment if you let it be. and don't open the door to her if she comes knocking either. Call the police have the trespasser taken away, any documented police incidences will come handy for requests of restraining orders later.
:rolleyes:

So here is the story thus far. Sorry I haven't updated all along, but I had no idea the twists and turns this would take.

About a month ago my fiance was served with a child support suit. In it she claimed that he has known he was the father all along and "ran out" on her mid-way through her pregnancy. "because his career took off and he decided he did not want to be a father anymore" There was no request for a paternity test at all. Just a claim that he was the father, and he needed to start paying child support.

So my fiance demanded a paternity test. He ended up in several meetings with the county prosecuter and family services all of the way down in Livingston county. (where she lives now) It was a 2+ hour drive for him each trip. He actually lost his job over how many days he was taking off to go take care of all of this. We finally got the test results back last week. He is not the father after all. "Probability of Paternity = 0.00%. He and the child do not share necessary paternal markers in multiple genetic systems"

Through all of this though we learned a lot of her scemes. We found out that she was actually pregnant when she first met him, and lied about it. She still claims that the doctor told her it had to be his because she was three weeks early. She accidentally admited over the phone that she was in fact on fertility hormones and was TRYING to get pregnant. Which she later tried to re-word when she realized she had slipped up.

The day she got the test results she called him crying and trying to appologise for what she had put him through. Then ended the voicemail with "I hope we can still be friends, I love you" She STILL calls him almost every day, she has tried calling his parents a few times too since the results came in, but they wont answer and have turned off the answering machine. She thinks they can be friends now, and that he should help her find the "other guy". She even asked him out on a date, lol. To go back to some of thier old hang outs so she can "try to find that guy", all behind her husbands back.

The reason, (I found out) that there is no name on the birth certificate, is that her divorce was finalized shortly before the baby was born, so the ex-husbands name was not forced.

My finace and his father are actually looking into taking this woman to court now, for the three years of emotional and real life harassment she has caused thier family. Not to mention her obviously stalking him.

For three years now she has been writting his mother calling her "grandma" she has been having the little boy "draw a picture for grandma". Meanwhile the letters she sends along with it constantly bash my fiance and are guilt trip after guilt trip to his mother on why she is not being "family" to this boy. I can't even imagine how his mother must have felt reading each of these letters, they almost made me cry when I read them, and that was after I knew 100% that he was not the father.

She showed up at his parents house on a number of occasions, always trying to "find" my finace, and tell his family what a bad father he was. She even claimed that she has been trying to get him to take a paternity test and he refused, so she asked if they would take a granparents paternity test in his place.

She has called his friends, (they went to High School together) to tell them about his baby that he refuses to take care of. She even showed up at his High School reunion one year when he was not in atendence. She carried the baby around and introduced him to everyone as "this is _____'s baby that he wont take care of" He got dozens of calls from people he hasn't talked to in years after that, asking if it was true, and some actually being pretty harsh. Of course not many people are going to believe him when they have only heard her side of the story.

In fact he has lost two jobs because of her. The first one was right after she gave birth. She knew where he worked then, and would always show up to either tell him off in front of everyone, or just get him to come spend some time with her. He had to sneak out of the back and have other people drive his car out of the lot for him all of the time. He eventually could not take the stress anymore and left the job permanently. And as I mentioned before he was laid off from his most recent job for taking too many days off to try and take care of this whole situation.

His mother acts like it was not so upsetting, but you can tell she was pretty affected. Especially when she was getting letters sent to "grandma". I am sure all the while she was wondering on some level if this child was really her grandchild, and she missed out on everything over the past three years. On top of that she had to listen to all of the horrible lies this woman was trying to spread about her son, while trying to "play nice" just in case she had to deal with her for the rest of her life.

This woman admited that she "wanted" my finace to be the father, because he was the most succesful of all of the potential fathers. Because at the time she knew him he had a great career and was making tons of money touring with his band every summer. The other potentials are deadbeats. The one who is most likely the father already has a child he refuses to take care of, and a "criminal past" involving non-payment of child support and aligations of child molestation.

Now that we are taking the control here. We are finding out a lot. Most is hear-say from past friends, and others who were around when all of this was happening. But most are willing to testify or at least sign a statement saying what they know of the situation. Plus we now have in our posession all of the letters she has been sending his mother. And we are looking into how long his cell phone company holds onto text message records to prove the ongoing harassment.

So I was just wondering what the next step may be. Do we have enough to meet with a lawyer? I know no restraining order was ever filed, and no charges of harassment or stalking were ever claimed. But is it too late to charge her with any of that? Because everyone was afriad to really go after her for anything while they thought there was a possiblitly that they may have to deal with her for the rest of her childs life. I know we at least have a case against her for defamation of character, because she has ultimately damaged his reputation to countless people through her public displays before she even knew for certain who the father may be. She still does not even know, so anything she is saying now about any of the other potentials is pretty much defamation as well.

At this point, there's nothing to support a civil case against her. At most, he could possibly get a restraining order to stop the calls. The past three years of issues are directly related to the paternity suit. Just because the paternity came back negative, that is not enough to prove malicious intent. He could have easily put and end to it by demanding a paternity test from day one. Even if he could convince a judge that there was enough evidence to take the case to trial, there's not enough to win. She would have the right to ask the judge to order him to pay all of her legal expenses when he looses.

Commencing a civil lawsuit goes against his earlier claim of just wanting her out of his life. Get the restraining order, if she refuses to abide by it, it becomes a criminal issue. Filing a civil suit only guarantees that this woman will continue to be in his life for even longer, possibly YEARS.

We recently "found" the other guy. It turns out he HAS letter from her durring her pregnancy stating exactly. "I know you are the father. I was pregnant a month before I even met _____" She sent him quite a few of these letters. All the while she was telling everyone my fiance was the father and harassing his mother. He WANTED to take the paternity test in the begining but whenever he acted seriously about it she would back down. Also, after the test finally came back negative, she admited that she "wanted" him to be the father because he had more money than this other guy.

Does this not proove she was TRYING to railroad him for something she knew all along was not his "situation" I mean, I know the things she said are hearsay. But we have letters to other people talking about her intent, and how she KNEW it was not my fiances child YEARS before all of this child support crap.

-Lissa

We recently "found" the other guy. It turns out he HAS letter from her durring her pregnancy stating exactly. "I know you are the father. I was pregnant a month before I even met _____" She sent him quite a few of these letters. All the while she was telling everyone my fiance was the father and harassing his mother. He WANTED to take the paternity test in the begining but whenever he acted seriously about it she would back down. Also, after the test finally came back negative, she admited that she "wanted" him to be the father because he had more money than this other guy.

Does this not proove she was TRYING to railroad him for something she knew all along was not his "situation" I mean, I know the things she said are hearsay. But we have letters to other people talking about her intent, and how she KNEW it was not my fiances child YEARS before all of this child support crap.

-Lissa


not really- I mean she's a snake- no doubt about it- but as was said before- fiance could have at any time demanded paternity testing and ended the entire scenario

At this point it seems you are feeding off the drama as opposed to moving on with your life. I would get your phone numbers changed or get caller i.d. If letters are sent don't open them and return to sender. If you or his family are still in contact its because you like all the problems this woman is causing. On top of the fact that this can't be good for your relationship.

At this point it seems you are feeding off the drama as opposed to moving on with your life. I would get your phone numbers changed or get caller i.d. If letters are sent don't open them and return to sender. If you or his family are still in contact its because you like all the problems this woman is causing. On top of the fact that this can't be good for your relationship.

Actually not at all. We are fine. We have been honest and straight forward with each other through all of this. No one has contact with her anymore. She still calls from time to time, but we let it go to voicemail and just delete her.

We were just hopeing for more closure on this. We don't like anything she has done, or is doing, or plans to do. We just want to make her pay for what she has done to us. She got to make our lives hell for a while, she got to stalk his mother. We just don't want her to get to walk away from this thinking she can treat people this way. I do not think that is unhealthy in any way.

I mean my fiance lost his job over this. And the point is, she was trying to scam him. I think he deserves some restitution. I am just here for the moral support. I talk in here, but this is the only action I take. I have never even said Hi to this woman.

So are we to just assume that someone can enter another persons life, in an intentional attempt to defraud them, and reak all sorts of havok on thier family and thier social life and thier financial and not to mention mental well being. And the victems are just supposed to bend over and take it in the *** and say oh well, and just deal with the aftermath of the hurricane that just swept through thier lives?

I am not the type of person who thinks everyone needs to be taken to court and made to pay for thier actions. But I draw the line with intent. If she was a bitter ex who honestly thought he was the father....fine. But she wasn't she KNEW he was not, and tried to take him for whatever she should get. People like that deserve to pay for thier misdeeds.

not really- I mean she's a snake- no doubt about it- but as was said before- fiance could have at any time demanded paternity testing and ended the entire scenario


He did demand the test... On many occasions. And as soon as he would, she would back down and say the baby was not his anyway so there was no need. Then a few months would pass and she would start the cycle all over again.

He did demand the test... On many occasions. And as soon as he would, she would back down and say the baby was not his anyway so there was no need. Then a few months would pass and she would start the cycle all over again.


and then he would back down and not follow through with petitioning the court for the test- his fault

No one deserves to be hounded but the only reason this went on for so long is because both parties were waiting to see the others cards. If your fiance went to court and got a paternity test once this began instead of playing games there never would have been any harrassment. You said yourself that your fiance could have been the father.

No one deserves to be hounded but the only reason this went on for so long is because both parties were waiting to see the others cards. If your fiance went to court and got a paternity test once this began instead of playing games there never would have been any harrassment. You said yourself that your fiance could have been the father.

But my point is.... That she is the ONLY person who knew he was not, and was sure he was not from the begining. She wrote it down, and sent it to people. She knew he was not. She knew she was pregnant before they met. She lied, and tried to scam him, and tried to harass his family into pushing him into paying her child support, for a baby that she knew all along he could not possibly be responsible for. All because he was making good money, and the real father is a dead beat, already skipping out on child support payments for another child of his.

Yea, we thought it was a possibility it was his... But now we know it was never possible. She sent people letters saying so. Saying exactly "I know he is not the father, because I was already a month pregnant before I even met him" We have it in writting in black and white, and dated. THREE years before she tried taking him to court.

And yea, he should have took the test right off the bat, but he was young, and overwhelmed, and being lied to constantly, and pulled every which way. One week it was "hey be a dad come visit him" when he would show up the kid was closed away in another room and she is walking around in sexy underware. The week after that was "you bastard I am gonna take you for all that you have" Then after that it would be "oh never mind I want nothing to do with you, you will never hear from me again." She would go from saying it IS deffinatly his, to saying its not right to his face, depending on who was there to witness it.

After going over all of the different accounts of this story it is obvious there were patterns. She would deny he was the father in front of anyone with enough sense to start advising him on what to do to make sure she was telling the truth. And she would pressure and harass the people who were most likely to tell him "just pay her and get her to leave us alone"

I think it is pretty unfair to think that every guy should know right away what to do in a situation like this. Sign the birth certificate, don't sign, ask for a paternity test...etc. etc. etc. Not everyone has experiences like this every day. Not every guy watches the Maury Show, and thinks "oh I better take notes, I just might be next weeks special"

So she gets away with what I concider criminal behavior, because he was overwhelmed and couldn't possibly have known how this would turn out while she was manipulating him in every way she could?

If he was not married to her when she got pregnant, then he can have a paternity test to determine if he is the father. If he is he will pay child support, if not he won't.

The point is that he knew that she was asking for a paternity test. You do not have to know about Maury to figure out that the test either makes you the parent or not. HE HAD THE CHOICE TO TAKE THE TEST BUT HE DID NOT BECAUSE IT WAS IN HIS BEST INTEREST NOT TO. So when this woman strung him along (after the first episode) then it was his decision to be a victim . Most reasonable people after being sucked in to this situation get legal help or find out what their choices are so he opted for the choice of having every one around him to be harrassed as well as himself " Screw me once shame on you , screw me twice shame on me". It sucks that there are people in this world that are deceitful but he needs to take responsibilty for his part in the situation. Their would have been NO DRAMA if he would have nipped this thing in the bud. Let it go and get on with your life

As I said many, many moons ago....he should have been proactive instead of letting this woman determine the course of his life. All he EVER had to do was petition for the paternity test, but he didn't. There is no legal action to be taken against her because while she may have KNOWN that he was not the father, there was a resonable possibility that he was. ONLY a DNA test would provide the conclusive proof, one way or another. As hard as it is, everybody needs to drop this and get on with life.

Is it just me, or does the original poster's story not even add up? The girl was pregnant one month before she even met the guy, yet they went to high school together? If she has already been married before, I assume they weren't in high school when she got pregnant.. I know this really doesn't have anything to do with her original questions, but why post if you can't have your story straight?

Is it just me, or does the original poster's story not even add up? The girl was pregnant one month before she even met the guy, yet they went to high school together? If she has already been married before, I assume they weren't in high school when she got pregnant.. I know this really doesn't have anything to do with her original questions, but why post if you can't have your story straight?

They only reason I said "before she met him" is because I was quoting her. The letter she wrote was to a person who did not know she and my fiance had gone to the same school. She lied to pretty much anyone who she talked to. She "left" this guy to start dating my fiance, (almost four years ago) so she did not tell her "boyfriend" that she was leaving him for a guy that she had a crush on back when she was in high school. So as far as the other guy knew she HAD just met my fiance at the time.

They went to a huge high school....never hung out and did not really even know each other. They only knew "of" each other. There were 6,000 kids in his High School, and they were not even in the same "class". They met years later through mutal friends...By which time she was married and seperating from her husband and pregnant, but lied about both. He graduated High School in 1998, and did not "meet" her face to face and start a realtionship until some time in 2002.

Sorry if the story varries a little through time. I was posting as I leanred of new things. Like in the begining I thought there was a possibliity of his being the father. But I now know that she knew all along that she was already pregnant by the time they started a relationship.