:confused: Texas
My husband and I are recently seperated with plans for a divorce. I do my best for my daughter to see her dad as much as possible. He doesn't work and I end up doing all the "dropping off and picking up" when he does see her.

Immediately after he left he started many relationships. The soon-to-be divorce is my decision reguarding mulitple problems with the marriage. With that said, I could care less what he does in his personal life. However, he feels the need to expose our daughter to these women. I don't feel that it is healthy at all!!!! He says she doesn't know whats going on....she is 4 years old.

He has finally somewhat settled down with one woman (we have been seperated for only 2 months now) and this woman is nuts. First of all she is currently living with another guy and has a 7 year old son. She exposes her son to two different men. Secondly, she has cussed me out on the phone and stuck her nose in places that do not concern her, about our daughter. Third off, he calls me a few nights ago and says that he is afraid to go to bed because she has a key to his apt. and she just got mad at him and threw stuff and trashed his apt. Might I also add, this woman is a "therapist". Anyway, he takes her back! He says because there are many benifits...ie....she spends money on him.

My question.....I DO NOT WANT MY DAUGHTER AROUND THIS WOMAN. What rights do I have? Even though my soon to be ex is a looser, he is still my daughter's father and I don't want to keep her from seeing him. However, I do not want her around this woman. He told me today he is going to pick her up next weekend and there isn't anything I can do about it. He also has threatened to go to her school and get her. What can I do???

have you thought about getting a attorney and seeing if you can get a emergency temporary custody order until you guys get thru the seperation and divorce???

A judge here order a husband who left his wife and children that while the proceeding was going on that he was not allowed to have female campions come to his house or go to theirs, or even meet up for supper while they have the child for visitation, saying he can do whatever he wants while the child was at the mothers but while child is visiting him it has to be stopped, cause for one thing they are still married and a child who is trying to adjust to the parent leaving does not need to see her dad with another woman. Which if he really cared for his child anyways he wouldnt even think of being with one while he spends his time with his child. The way he is acting now will not help him when it comes time to for the divorce and setting up visitation rights in the judges eyes.

About the school, contact them tell them they the father has left the home, and that you are in the process of getting a divorce and if the father shows up do not let child go with the father until you have arrived, they should contact you right away. If he throws a fit call the police and tell that he is the one that left the home, I think there is some law about the parent leaving the home and children, but not sure if it is the same from state to state, but here if a father or parent leaves the home and leaves the child behind with the other parent, then the parent does have the right to refuse the parent that left any visitation until they go to court.... the parent that the child is left with is temporary the custodian parent until the courts say other wise. And they do have the right to say no for visitation where like yours a woman is invovled. Check out what your state laws are and if not the same like I said get a emergency temporary full custody of your child until you go to court.

Thank you so much for your reply. I am just sick over all this. My husband doesnt have the best history of parenting. He has four other children, two that are almost grown and wont talk to him, and one he hasn't seen since he was 2 years old....just walked away! These are things I unfortunately did not find out until later and I guess...too late.

He also stated, and I have it on tape, that he wanted to give up his parental rights to our daughter so he wouldn't have to pay child support. He is extremely emotionally unstable and I am just so freaked out.

I have been up all evening doing research on Texas Law. I am going to go tomorrow to find some answers with some professionals in my county. I guess I just needed some reassurance tonight. :rolleyes:

I just want the best for my daughter and he thinks he knows everything and that I am over protective!!!

It's usually very easy to have restrictions placed limiting the child's exposure to gf's and such. Just remember that whatever restrictions you want placed on him will also be placed on YOU. It's best to only ask that dad not be allowed to have unrelated members of the opposite sex in his home between 8pm - 8am. That will stop him from having gf's spend the night or move in. If you ask that NO ONE of the opposite sex be allowed around at all, you will never be allowed to introduce the children to any potential bf's you may have, no matter how serious, unless you marry him first.

It's a complete waste of time to contact the school until you have a COURT ORDER specifically stating that dad is NOT allowed to pick the child up or that he is ONLY allowed to do so on certain days. The school will not get involved in parental disputes without a court order signed by a judge.

MidnightBreeze is completely WRONG. There is NO LAW at all giving one parent more rights than the other when the parents are MARRIED. Dad has just as much right to access and custody of the child as you do until you get a court order that states otherwise. Like I said earlier, the only way a court will restrict who can be present when dad has the child is to impose the same restrictions on you. In Texas, Dad is going to get JOINT custody. That doesn't mean that he will necessarily have the child 50% of the time, but he WILL have say in any decisions concerning the child. You can ask for sole custody, but unless you have hard PROOF that dad is a DANGER to the child, you won't get it. It will be much easier to get joint legal custody with you being the residential parent. If he lives very close by though, there is a possibility that he can have custody of the child up to 49% of the time even if you are the residential parent. (Texas will only go up to 51/49 split on custody, there are too many potential problems with true 50/50.)

To try and deny dad any type of access to the child without a court order will only hurt your case unless you can PROVE it was to protect the child. What happened with his other children is irrelevent unless he was CONVICTED of a crime against the child/ren. In court, it is actually WORSE to mention a persons possible "problems" unless they can be 100% proven. Otherwise, it makes the party making the accusations look like they are grabbing at straws and being petty just to win. The audio tape MAY be admissible, but since it is ONE isolated incident, it would probably be argued by him or his attorney merely as an "emotional outburst" at a time when he felt overwhelmed by the divorce and more than likely won't be given much weight by the judge. If you have proof that he has said this multiple times, it's a whole different story.

The best thing you can do is keep a record of everything. Try to communicate with dad through email or have him leave phone messages, that way you will have documentation of everything.

It is possible to get sole custody. It's also possible to keep dad from getting ANY visitation if he is unfit. But it's not something that can be done quickly, easily or cheaply. I know, I've done it. It took almost 2 years, every single penny I could beg borrow and steal, countless hours researching, following him and even trying to track him down each time he changes jobs or moved. It was worth it, but it takes a very strong dedicated person to go make it through.

I REALLY know where you are coming from. I went through the same thing with my ex, his grilfriend I believed at the time was into witchcraft and teaching my kids these things. I was so scared and so upset but I had to let them see their dad. I am hoping that the relationship with your ex and this crazy woman will not last. In my case the relationship lasted for a year (which was a year too long).
I would agree with ceara on all points. You can't keep the child from the dad
it will only look bad on you. Just record or write everything down. I know in NC you can record a conversation but the tapes are not admissable in court but you can transcribe them onto paper. It's a way to remember everything that is said. Also courts do not look at past relationships with siblings they do not care unless he was a child abuser, they only care about the present.
Even with my situation at the time I was not allowed to take the kids away without getting myself into trouble. Hang in there I know it is hard but if you abide by the law and at the same time record and transcribe everything and pray that this crazy woman and your ex break up!!!

Sorry if I did not make myself clear, I didnt mean to say never have the child around another sex (girlfriends) it can be for a very short time, and then changed when they go to court, that like you said would not be fair cause then she would never be able to have future boyfriend, but it can be set that way for the first 6 months or year until you get to court and get things finialized.

I am not a lawyer but I was just telling her what my best friend went thru last spring. Her husband left her and their 2 kids. Took her about 2 weeks to find the lawyer she wanted and then to come up with the money for the lawyer. While she was waiting for her appointment for the lawyer, he husband who was a drunk showed up to the kids school before it due to be out and wanted the kids, she had already talked to the school telling them to contact her if he showed up, which they did I was with the mother when the call came in we went to the school and she had a officer meet her there. The cop told the husband since he was the one that moved out, he could of taken the children with him, but he decided not so until the courts say who got custody of the children and who got what for visitation, the husband could not take the child at that time. Her appointment came up couple of days later and her attorney filed for emergency temporary custody hearing until they get the divorce proceeding going. It was not that she wanted him not to see his children she told him he can come to the house anytime, she just didnt want them to go with him cause he did threaten to take them away and she wanted them to stay in the house till the judge said who and what.

At the temporary meeting the judge did give her sole custody and him vistation right of every other weekend but with certain rules, he could not take them to his house if the girlfriend was there (he had moved in with a woman right away), she had to leave for the weekend or he had to make other arrangements for his weekend, telling the father the children did not need to see this right away. The divorce proceeding finished up last month. they do now have share custody and the rules of the children being around the girlfriends is now gone, (he is now living with a different woman then the first)

Your ex (soon to be) has the right to have relationships with whomever he pleases and your differing opinions of who is good and bad are only your opinion and you can't choose. However, if a person regularly exposed to your child through your ex (like a girlfriend) is harming your child by being abusive or neglectful, etc., you can try and get some help from the courts to keep that person away from your child. (restraining order). Good luck.

:confused: Texas
My husband and I are recently seperated with plans for a divorce. I do my best for my daughter to see her dad as much as possible. He doesn't work and I end up doing all the "dropping off and picking up" when he does see her.

Immediately after he left he started many relationships. The soon-to-be divorce is my decision reguarding mulitple problems with the marriage. With that said, I could care less what he does in his personal life. However, he feels the need to expose our daughter to these women. I don't feel that it is healthy at all!!!! He says she doesn't know whats going on....she is 4 years old.

He has finally somewhat settled down with one woman (we have been seperated for only 2 months now) and this woman is nuts. First of all she is currently living with another guy and has a 7 year old son. She exposes her son to two different men. Secondly, she has cussed me out on the phone and stuck her nose in places that do not concern her, about our daughter. Third off, he calls me a few nights ago and says that he is afraid to go to bed because she has a key to his apt. and she just got mad at him and threw stuff and trashed his apt. Might I also add, this woman is a "therapist". Anyway, he takes her back! He says because there are many benifits...ie....she spends money on him.

My question.....I DO NOT WANT MY DAUGHTER AROUND THIS WOMAN. What rights do I have? Even though my soon to be ex is a looser, he is still my daughter's father and I don't want to keep her from seeing him. However, I do not want her around this woman. He told me today he is going to pick her up next weekend and there isn't anything I can do about it. He also has threatened to go to her school and get her. What can I do???
You have the right to file for a legal seperation(if allowed in your state), or divorce, you have the right to ask the court to award you temp custody, with ex having visitation rights. You have the right to ask the court to order that NEITHER PARENT be allowed to LIVE WITH a member of opposite sex. You have the right to PROVE, with DOCUMENTATION that Dad's new GF is a true DANGER to your children.

However, absent any proof of danger to kids, you do NOT have the right to dictate who your husband/soon to be ex sees, or brings your children around.

Until a court orders anything, he does have the legal right to see his children and pick them up from school. At this point he has every single legal right to the kids as you do. You need to file with the court to get at least temporary custody/visitation/CS orders.

I'm going through kind of the same thing. We are trying to keep my ex and his gf away from my daughter. Because of many reasons.

I understand where you are coming from and I don't think you care he has a gf just like I don't with my ex. It all about who the gf is. Sounds like she has problems and believe me girl I'm going through a mess right now where my ex and the gf both have problems.

So just hang in there and I hope eveything works out for you.

You have the right to file for a legal seperation(if allowed in your state), or divorce, you have the right to ask the court to award you temp custody, with ex having visitation rights. You have the right to ask the court to order that NEITHER PARENT be allowed to LIVE WITH a member of opposite sex. You have the right to PROVE, with DOCUMENTATION that Dad's new GF is a true DANGER to your children.

However, absent any proof of danger to kids, you do NOT have the right to dictate who your husband/soon to be ex sees, or brings your children around.

Until a court orders anything, he does have the legal right to see his children and pick them up from school. At this point he has every single legal right to the kids as you do. You need to file with the court to get at least temporary custody/visitation/CS orders.

Unfortunately Texas doesn't have legal seperation. She can file for a divorce and request a hearing for temopary orders. IF I remember correctly, the hearing is set for the 20th day from the first Tuesday after the request is filed. As long as dad responds within that time frame, he can get a continuence in order to prepare for a hearing. She COULD ask for an emergency hearing, but from what she's said, she doesn't have ground for one.

Mom has the RIGHT to refuse to allow dad to see the child, absent a court order. But DAD has the right to pick the child up at school and do the same thing to mom. In cases of MARRIED parents, possession is 9/10ths of the law with out a court order. Just because both parents have the same RIGHT to exclusive access, like Xena said, without hard PROOF that the parent is a danger to the child, if a parent denies access to the child, it will only work against them in court.

Thank you everyone for all your comments. They are a huge help!! What a nightmare....I feel like everyone I have talked to..not you guys...local prof. thinks that I am some jelous ex that is trying to get back at my husband through my daughter. It is so frustrating and disheartening because that is so far from the truth. Anyway...I fianlly spoke with a lawyer today that understands....but unfortunately you guys are right....there just isn't much I can do! I never wanted to keep my daughter away from her father. She loves him dearly....I just DON'T and CAN'T feel comfortable with this woman! It scares me to death!!! Basically everyone is telling me to just wait for something bad to happen and then I can do something. Well.....thats just crazy! I have been in EMS for almost 10 years. I see things every day that could have been prevented and it just cripples me to think that I am being put in that situation with the one person that means the world to me!!!!!

He has been seing our daughter....just without the woman around. And a few times he has lied to me about it and our daughter told me. Now he is refusing to cooperate with that and says that I am over protective. So anyway....I guess I will just have to wait.

I have to come up with $1500 to get everything started and that's not going to be easy! But I know it has to be done ASAP.

So, thanks again for all your post. They have really helped me get my head out of the clouds and back to reality with our wonderful justice system.

Hopefully dad will come around and realize that it's in EVERYONE'S best interest to get along and come to some sort of agreement outside of court. If he forces it to go in front of the judge, most of the time, NOBODY actually wins.