Robyn, Being an adoptee and having that need to reunite, to fill in that hole
and at least know your birth families, your history, and having someone, a
mother, someone that you thought would have open arms for you, so powerfully
against you protecting her own needs, is a tough and confusing position to be
put in but you are a kind and good hearted person and you will make it,
whatever you choose to do, or not do. Damn that's one long sentence :)
I know what you are going through and this may sound corny for this tough ole
AA group, but I'm sending hugs your way. Kathy J

"Tm n Kat" <tmnkat@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20031101130225.29118.00000033@mb-m23.aol.com... Robyn, Being an adoptee and having that need to reunite, to fill in that
hole and at least know your birth families, your history, and having someone, a mother, someone that you thought would have open arms for you, so
powerfully against you protecting her own needs, is a tough and confusing position to
be put in but you are a kind and good hearted person and you will make it, whatever you choose to do, or not do. Damn that's one long sentence :) I know what you are going through and this may sound corny for this tough
ole AA group, but I'm sending hugs your way. Kathy J

Add mine to the bundle.

Helen

In article <20031101130225.29118.00000033@mb-m23.aol.com>, tmnkat@aol.com (Tm n
Kat) writes:
Robyn, Being an adoptee and having that need to reunite, to fill in that holeand at least know your birth families, your history, and having someone, amother, someone that you thought would have open arms for you, so powerfullyagainst you protecting her own needs, is a tough and confusing position to beput in but you are a kind and good hearted person and you will make it,whatever you choose to do, or not do. Damn that's one long sentence :)I know what you are going through and this may sound corny for this tough oleAA group, but I'm sending hugs your way. Kathy J

I second that...

KL

Re: Jackie - another book to read

Group: alt.adoption Date: Sat, Nov 1, 2003, 6:02pm (MST+7) From:
tmnkat@aol.com (Tm*n*Kat)
Robyn, Being an adoptee and having that need to reunite, to fill in that
hole and at least know your birth families, your history, and having
someone, a mother, someone that you thought would have open arms for
you, so powerfully against you protecting her own needs, is a tough and
confusing position to be put in but you are a kind and good hearted
person and you will make it, whatever you choose to do, or not do. Damn
that's one long sentence :) I know what you are going through and this
may sound corny for this tough ole AA group, but I'm sending hugs your
way. Kathy J
---------------------------------------------------------------

Me too Robyn! Go with your gut. Take what you need from here and leave
the rest.
Windforest

In article <c4Yob.3521$bD.15222@news.indigo.ie>, helicon says..."Tm n Kat" <tmnkat@aol.com> wrote in messagenews:20031101130225.29118.00000033@mb-m23.aol.com... Robyn, Being an adoptee and having that need to reunite, to fill in thathole and at least know your birth families, your history, and having someone, a mother, someone that you thought would have open arms for you, sopowerfully against you protecting her own needs, is a tough and confusing position tobe put in but you are a kind and good hearted person and you will make it, whatever you choose to do, or not do. Damn that's one long sentence :) I know what you are going through and this may sound corny for this toughole AA group, but I'm sending hugs your way. Kathy JAdd mine to the bundle.

Thanks :)

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

In article <22942-3FA48022-286@storefull-2153.public.lawson.webtv.net>,
Windforest says...Re: Jackie - another book to readGroup: alt.adoption Date: Sat, Nov 1, 2003, 6:02pm (MST+7) From:tmnkat@aol.com (Tm=A0n=A0Kat)Robyn, Being an adoptee and having that need to reunite, to fill in thathole and at least know your birth families, your history, and havingsomeone, a mother, someone that you thought would have open arms foryou, so powerfully against you protecting her own needs, is a tough andconfusing position to be put in but you are a kind and good heartedperson and you will make it, whatever you choose to do, or not do. Damnthat's one long sentence :) I know what you are going through and thismay sound corny for this tough ole AA group, but I'm sending hugs yourway. Kathy J---------------------------------------------------------------Me too Robyn! Go with your gut. Take what you need from here and leavethe rest.Windforesta

Oh dear - Right now I'm torn between telling her I'd like to meet her in person
and just dropping the whole thing and stop writing her letters. Hmmmm.....

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

In article <20031101130225.29118.00000033@mb-m23.aol.com>, Tm n Kat says...Robyn, Being an adoptee and having that need to reunite, to fill in that holeand at least know your birth families, your history, and having someone, amother, someone that you thought would have open arms for you, so powerfullyagainst you protecting her own needs, is a tough and confusing position to beput in but you are a kind and good hearted person and you will make it,whatever you choose to do, or not do. Damn that's one long sentence :)

But, an awfully nice one :)
I know what you are going through and this may sound corny for this tough oleAA group, but I'm sending hugs your way. Kathy J

Aw shucks, thanks :)

But seriously, I'm not torn up about this - Sure I was two years ago (which were
the posts Jackie dredged up), but things are much different now. I feel that
I've been incredibly patient and have been making quite an effort to get to my
bmom on a more personal level - as well as let her know about my life and
myself. However, it just doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

So, I'm torn between asking her for a meeting or just dropping the whole
"reunion" entirely ;/

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

"Robibnikoff" <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote in message
news:U_apb.26228$cJ5.4115@www.newsranger.com... In article <22942-3FA48022-286@storefull-2153.public.lawson.webtv.net>, Windforest says...Re: Jackie - another book to readGroup: alt.adoption Date: Sat, Nov 1, 2003, 6:02pm (MST+7) From:tmnkat@aol.com (Tm=A0n=A0Kat)Robyn, Being an adoptee and having that need to reunite, to fill in thathole and at least know your birth families, your history, and havingsomeone, a mother, someone that you thought would have open arms foryou, so powerfully against you protecting her own needs, is a tough andconfusing position to be put in but you are a kind and good heartedperson and you will make it, whatever you choose to do, or not do. Damnthat's one long sentence :) I know what you are going through and thismay sound corny for this tough ole AA group, but I'm sending hugs yourway. Kathy J---------------------------------------------------------------Me too Robyn! Go with your gut. Take what you need from here and leavethe rest.Windforesta Oh dear - Right now I'm torn between telling her I'd like to meet her in
person and just dropping the whole thing and stop writing her letters.
Hmmmm.....

Think perhaps of meeting half way between - and hour's drive for each - on
neutral territory, for afternoon tea, or something not too demanding!

Helen

Robyn Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster #1557

"Robibnikoff" <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote in message
news:s4bpb.26230$cJ5.4222@www.newsranger.com... In article <20031101130225.29118.00000033@mb-m23.aol.com>, Tm n Kat
says...Robyn, Being an adoptee and having that need to reunite, to fill in that
holeand at least know your birth families, your history, and having someone,
amother, someone that you thought would have open arms for you, so
powerfullyagainst you protecting her own needs, is a tough and confusing position
to beput in but you are a kind and good hearted person and you will make it,whatever you choose to do, or not do. Damn that's one long sentence :) But, an awfully nice one :)I know what you are going through and this may sound corny for this tough
oleAA group, but I'm sending hugs your way. Kathy J Aw shucks, thanks :) But seriously, I'm not torn up about this - Sure I was two years ago
(which were the posts Jackie dredged up), but things are much different now. I feel
that I've been incredibly patient and have been making quite an effort to get
to my bmom on a more personal level - as well as let her know about my life and myself. However, it just doesn't seem to be going anywhere. So, I'm torn between asking her for a meeting or just dropping the whole "reunion" entirely ;/

Ah, don't be too quick (ahem!!!) to give up the chase!

Helen
Robyn Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster #1557

In article <kRcpb.3749$bD.15425@news.indigo.ie>, helicon says..."Robibnikoff" <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote in messagenews:s4bpb.26230$cJ5.4222@www.newsranger.co m... In article <20031101130225.29118.00000033@mb-m23.aol.com>, Tm n Katsays...Robyn, Being an adoptee and having that need to reunite, to fill in thatholeand at least know your birth families, your history, and having someone,amother, someone that you thought would have open arms for you, sopowerfullyagainst you protecting her own needs, is a tough and confusing positionto beput in but you are a kind and good hearted person and you will make it,whatever you choose to do, or not do. Damn that's one long sentence :) But, an awfully nice one :)I know what you are going through and this may sound corny for this tougholeAA group, but I'm sending hugs your way. Kathy J Aw shucks, thanks :) But seriously, I'm not torn up about this - Sure I was two years ago(which were the posts Jackie dredged up), but things are much different now. I feelthat I've been incredibly patient and have been making quite an effort to getto my bmom on a more personal level - as well as let her know about my life and myself. However, it just doesn't seem to be going anywhere. So, I'm torn between asking her for a meeting or just dropping the whole "reunion" entirely ;/Ah, don't be too quick (ahem!!!) to give up the chase!

<sigh> I'm not. If it wasn't for my husband, I would have given up when I'd
written her about four letters without a response. Whenever I start feeling
like giving up, I just ask him what he would do. He just says that he'd try a
little longer.

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

In article <jRcpb.3748$bD.15445@news.indigo.ie>, helicon says..."Robibnikoff" <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote in messagenews:U_apb.26228$cJ5.4115@www.newsranger.co m... In article <22942-3FA48022-286@storefull-2153.public.lawson.webtv.net>, Windforest says...Re: Jackie - another book to readGroup: alt.adoption Date: Sat, Nov 1, 2003, 6:02pm (MST+7) From:tmnkat@aol.com (Tm=A0n=A0Kat)Robyn, Being an adoptee and having that need to reunite, to fill in thathole and at least know your birth families, your history, and havingsomeone, a mother, someone that you thought would have open arms foryou, so powerfully against you protecting her own needs, is a tough andconfusing position to be put in but you are a kind and good heartedperson and you will make it, whatever you choose to do, or not do. Damnthat's one long sentence :) I know what you are going through and thismay sound corny for this tough ole AA group, but I'm sending hugs yourway. Kathy J---------------------------------------------------------------Me too Robyn! Go with your gut. Take what you need from here and leavethe rest.Windforesta Oh dear - Right now I'm torn between telling her I'd like to meet her inperson and just dropping the whole thing and stop writing her letters.Hmmmm.....Think perhaps of meeting half way between - and hour's drive for each - onneutral territory, for afternoon tea, or something not too demanding!

That's actually exactly what I was thinking ;)

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

>Subject: Re: Jackie - another book to readFrom: Robibnikoff nospam@newsranger.comDate: 11/2/2003
<sigh> I'm not. If it wasn't for my husband, I would have given up when I'dwritten her about four letters without a response. Whenever I start feelinglike giving up, I just ask him what he would do. He just says that he'd tryalittle longer.RobynResident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster#1557

He sounds like a good guy....this affects them too. Kathy

In article <20031102210609.01241.00000136@mb-m11.aol.com>, Tm n Kat says...Subject: Re: Jackie - another book to readFrom: Robibnikoff nospam@newsranger.comDate: 11/2/2003<sigh> I'm not. If it wasn't for my husband, I would have given up when I'dwritten her about four letters without a response. Whenever I start feelinglike giving up, I just ask him what he would do. He just says that he'd tryalittle longer.RobynResident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster#1557He sounds like a good guy....this affects them too. Kathy

Thanks, he is :)

And he's been incredibly supportive :)

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

"helicon" <helicon@eircom.net> wrote
"Robibnikoff" <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote So, I'm torn between asking her for a meeting or just dropping the whole "reunion" entirely ;/ Ah, don't be too quick (ahem!!!) to give up the chase! Helen
I agree.

Robyn, I'd focus on what's more important to you: To see her, to meet
her, or to get her to acknowledge you either on a personal, or a
social level?

I think it sounds as though yr b-mom is afraid, for some reason, that
you will change her life. Who knows what the issues are? She might not
even do so herself.

She may be as shy as you seem to be about precipitating a meeting.

Maybe something of the following would be helpful, depending on your
priorities (and I'm sure there would be others who *completely* think
I'm wrong):

* See her (and I mean see, don't visit with or talk to) in her shop
(if she still has one? Or am I terribly confused about this?). Go with
your friends, or go alone, step in, just get a sense of her. This way,
if a closer approach does make her bolt, at least you would have seen
her. Incognito.

* Later, write to her saying you understand this thing is a secret
between you, and you would like to meet her in some place that is
outside her normal routine -- as Helen says, maybe some place that is
between your two places. Suggest a date.

* If you want to force the issue even more, drive down to her town,
reconnoiter a bit. Look for a cafe or restaurant where you'd be happy
to spend an hour with a cup of coffee and a good book. Then tell her
that you'll be there at a certain time and date. This gives her the
chance to see you and, if she has the guts, to come and say Hello.

If all of this sounds a bit cloak and daggerish and devious...well,
there you are. I was, when very young, member of a secret society
involving codes and passwords...

Rupa
(The password is "Dare!")

"Rupa Bose" <rkbose@pacific.net.sg> wrote in message
news:e5619372.0311021836.416dca8f@posting.google.c om... "helicon" <helicon@eircom.net> wrote "Robibnikoff" <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote So, I'm torn between asking her for a meeting or just dropping the
whole "reunion" entirely ;/ Ah, don't be too quick (ahem!!!) to give up the chase! Helen I agree. Robyn, I'd focus on what's more important to you: To see her, to meet her, or to get her to acknowledge you either on a personal, or a social level? I think it sounds as though yr b-mom is afraid, for some reason, that you will change her life. Who knows what the issues are? She might not even do so herself. She may be as shy as you seem to be about precipitating a meeting. Maybe something of the following would be helpful, depending on your priorities (and I'm sure there would be others who *completely* think I'm wrong): * See her (and I mean see, don't visit with or talk to) in her shop (if she still has one? Or am I terribly confused about this?). Go with your friends, or go alone, step in, just get a sense of her. This way, if a closer approach does make her bolt, at least you would have seen her. Incognito. * Later, write to her saying you understand this thing is a secret between you, and you would like to meet her in some place that is outside her normal routine -- as Helen says, maybe some place that is between your two places. Suggest a date. * If you want to force the issue even more, drive down to her town, reconnoiter a bit. Look for a cafe or restaurant where you'd be happy to spend an hour with a cup of coffee and a good book. Then tell her that you'll be there at a certain time and date. This gives her the chance to see you and, if she has the guts, to come and say Hello. If all of this sounds a bit cloak and daggerish and devious...well, there you are. I was, when very young, member of a secret society involving codes and passwords... Rupa (The password is "Dare!")

I like it! Good advice, Rupa.

Helen

On 01 Nov 2003 18:02:25 GMT, tmnkat@aol.com (Tm n Kat) wrote:
Robyn, Being an adoptee and having that need to reunite, to fill in that holeand at least know your birth families, your history, and having someone, amother, someone that you thought would have open arms for you, so powerfullyagainst you protecting her own needs, is a tough and confusing position to beput in but you are a kind and good hearted person and you will make it,whatever you choose to do, or not do. Damn that's one long sentence :)I know what you are going through and this may sound corny for this tough oleAA group, but I'm sending hugs your way. Kathy J


Kathy you are correct in what you said to me yesterday..

I was wrong to say I would not trust Robyn.

I make a public apology here..

I am very sorry I said that Robyn.. Kathy is right..


Jackie

In article <hejcqv0m5dkv0gpq22qlps54u5s4i3c8nh@4ax.com>, Jackie says...On 01 Nov 2003 18:02:25 GMT, tmnkat@aol.com (Tm n Kat) wrote:Robyn, Being an adoptee and having that need to reunite, to fill in that holeand at least know your birth families, your history, and having someone, amother, someone that you thought would have open arms for you, so powerfullyagainst you protecting her own needs, is a tough and confusing position to beput in but you are a kind and good hearted person and you will make it,whatever you choose to do, or not do. Damn that's one long sentence :)I know what you are going through and this may sound corny for this tough oleAA group, but I'm sending hugs your way. Kathy JKathy you are correct in what you said to me yesterday..I was wrong to say I would not trust Robyn.I make a public apology here..I am very sorry I said that Robyn.. Kathy is right..

Well.....alrighty then. Apology accepted :)

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

"helicon" <helicon@eircom.net> wrote in message news:<I8qpb.3848$bD.15711@news.indigo.ie>... "Rupa Bose" <rkbose@pacific.net.sg> wrote in message news:e5619372.0311021836.416dca8f@posting.google.c om... "helicon" <helicon@eircom.net> wrote "Robibnikoff" <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote > > So, I'm torn between asking her for a meeting or just dropping the whole > "reunion" entirely ;/ Ah, don't be too quick (ahem!!!) to give up the chase! Helen I agree. Robyn, I'd focus on what's more important to you: To see her, to meet her, or to get her to acknowledge you either on a personal, or a social level? I think it sounds as though yr b-mom is afraid, for some reason, that you will change her life. Who knows what the issues are? She might not even do so herself. She may be as shy as you seem to be about precipitating a meeting. Maybe something of the following would be helpful, depending on your priorities (and I'm sure there would be others who *completely* think I'm wrong): * See her (and I mean see, don't visit with or talk to) in her shop (if she still has one? Or am I terribly confused about this?). Go with your friends, or go alone, step in, just get a sense of her. This way, if a closer approach does make her bolt, at least you would have seen her. Incognito. * Later, write to her saying you understand this thing is a secret between you, and you would like to meet her in some place that is outside her normal routine -- as Helen says, maybe some place that is between your two places. Suggest a date. * If you want to force the issue even more, drive down to her town, reconnoiter a bit. Look for a cafe or restaurant where you'd be happy to spend an hour with a cup of coffee and a good book. Then tell her that you'll be there at a certain time and date. This gives her the chance to see you and, if she has the guts, to come and say Hello. If all of this sounds a bit cloak and daggerish and devious...well, there you are. I was, when very young, member of a secret society involving codes and passwords... Rupa (The password is "Dare!") I like it! Good advice, Rupa.


I agree. I like the password too!
Maybe it's about time push came to (gentle but firm) shove.
If she were to understand how much it would mean for you to meet her,
and to be reassured that you've no intention of exposing her 'past' to
the censorious world, or of making precipitous scary moves, perhaps
she'd come.
There's a good likelihood she'd even be grateful for the shove once
she felt sufficiently secure. A heavy burdon of fear would be lifted,
IMO.
My guess is she's terrified of actually talking to you face to face,
and if she could get past this hurdle you could negotiate some kind of
relationship together

Rh..



Rh.
Helen

In article <e5619372.0311021836.416dca8f@posting.google.com>, Rupa Bose says..."helicon" <helicon@eircom.net> wrote "Robibnikoff" <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote So, I'm torn between asking her for a meeting or just dropping the whole "reunion" entirely ;/ Ah, don't be too quick (ahem!!!) to give up the chase! HelenI agree.Robyn, I'd focus on what's more important to you: To see her, to meether, or to get her to acknowledge you either on a personal, or asocial level?

Hmm, well I definitely want to meet her. As far as "being welcomed into the
bosom of her family", while that would be wonderful, I think it's highly
unlikely. I'd love to meet my grandparents, my aunt, my half-bro, half-sis and
her children. Again, that's highly unlikely. If I could just meet my bmom face
to face, even if it only happened once, that would be wonderful (I think).
I think it sounds as though yr b-mom is afraid, for some reason, thatyou will change her life. Who knows what the issues are? She might noteven do so herself.She may be as shy as you seem to be about precipitating a meeting.

May be? I'm assuming that's exactly the case. Considering she doesn't write
back very often, I'm assuming that she doesn't have an overwhelming desire to
meet me in person - though I could be wrong.
Maybe something of the following would be helpful, depending on yourpriorities (and I'm sure there would be others who *completely* thinkI'm wrong):* See her (and I mean see, don't visit with or talk to) in her shop(if she still has one? Or am I terribly confused about this?). Go withyour friends, or go alone, step in, just get a sense of her. This way,if a closer approach does make her bolt, at least you would have seenher. Incognito.

<chuckle> I'd absolutely HAVE to be incognito - I resemble her too much to get
away with it otherwise.
* Later, write to her saying you understand this thing is a secretbetween you, and you would like to meet her in some place that isoutside her normal routine -- as Helen says, maybe some place that isbetween your two places. Suggest a date.* If you want to force the issue even more, drive down to her town,reconnoiter a bit. Look for a cafe or restaurant where you'd be happyto spend an hour with a cup of coffee and a good book. Then tell herthat you'll be there at a certain time and date. This gives her thechance to see you and, if she has the guts, to come and say Hello.

Eeeeek! Sorry, but the whole thought of actually doing this is making my
stomach do backflips. I think my bmom's not the only one who isn't ready for
this ;)
If all of this sounds a bit cloak and daggerish and devious...well,there you are. I was, when very young, member of a secret societyinvolving codes and passwords...Rupa(The password is "Dare!")

Oooh, how mysterious. Thanks for your wonderful suggestions. Hopefully I'll get
up the nerve to put one (or more) in action :)

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

In article <dafc70.0311030638.234860e2@posting.google.com>, Rhiannon says...
snipI agree. I like the password too!Maybe it's about time push came to (gentle but firm) shove.If she were to understand how much it would mean for you to meet her,and to be reassured that you've no intention of exposing her 'past' tothe censorious world, or of making precipitous scary moves, perhapsshe'd come.There's a good likelihood she'd even be grateful for the shove onceshe felt sufficiently secure. A heavy burdon of fear would be lifted,IMO.My guess is she's terrified of actually talking to you face to face,and if she could get past this hurdle you could negotiate some kind ofrelationship together

Hmmm, well, I am planning on writing her today. I'll give it a shot ;)

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

"Rupa Bose" <rkbose@pacific.net.sg> wrote in message
news:e5619372.0311021836.416dca8f@posting.google.c om... "helicon" <helicon@eircom.net> wrote "Robibnikoff" <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote So, I'm torn between asking her for a meeting or just dropping the
whole "reunion" entirely ;/ Ah, don't be too quick (ahem!!!) to give up the chase! Helen I agree. Robyn, I'd focus on what's more important to you: To see her, to meet her, or to get her to acknowledge you either on a personal, or a social level? I think it sounds as though yr b-mom is afraid, for some reason, that you will change her life. Who knows what the issues are? She might not even do so herself. She may be as shy as you seem to be about precipitating a meeting. Maybe something of the following would be helpful, depending on your priorities (and I'm sure there would be others who *completely* think I'm wrong): * See her (and I mean see, don't visit with or talk to) in her shop (if she still has one? Or am I terribly confused about this?). Go with your friends, or go alone, step in, just get a sense of her. This way, if a closer approach does make her bolt, at least you would have seen her. Incognito. * Later, write to her saying you understand this thing is a secret between you, and you would like to meet her in some place that is outside her normal routine -- as Helen says, maybe some place that is between your two places. Suggest a date. * If you want to force the issue even more, drive down to her town, reconnoiter a bit. Look for a cafe or restaurant where you'd be happy to spend an hour with a cup of coffee and a good book. Then tell her that you'll be there at a certain time and date. This gives her the chance to see you and, if she has the guts, to come and say Hello. If all of this sounds a bit cloak and daggerish and devious...well, there you are. I was, when very young, member of a secret society involving codes and passwords... Rupa (The password is "Dare!")

As in Truth or. . . ? ;) Very appropriate btw :)

Kathy 1

Robibnikoff <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote in message news:<6Qupb.26330$cJ5.4271@www.newsranger.com>... In article <dafc70.0311030638.234860e2@posting.google.com>, Rhiannon says... snipI agree. I like the password too!Maybe it's about time push came to (gentle but firm) shove.If she were to understand how much it would mean for you to meet her,and to be reassured that you've no intention of exposing her 'past' tothe censorious world, or of making precipitous scary moves, perhapsshe'd come.There's a good likelihood she'd even be grateful for the shove onceshe felt sufficiently secure. A heavy burdon of fear would be lifted,IMO.My guess is she's terrified of actually talking to you face to face,and if she could get past this hurdle you could negotiate some kind ofrelationship together Hmmm, well, I am planning on writing her today. I'll give it a shot ;)


May good fortune go with that letter, Robyn.
I'll be rooting for a good outcome for both you and your bmom :-)

Rh.


Robyn Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster #1557

Robibnikoff <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote Eeeeek! Sorry, but the whole thought of actually doing this is making my stomach do backflips. I think my bmom's not the only one who isn't ready for this ;)

You know, as I read that, I had this image of your mother, sitting
with her closest friend, perhaps the only one who knows about you, and
saying, "I couldn't, oh I simply couldn't. I wish I could..."

And her friend trying to point out that one meeting couldn't hurt...

Anyway, wishing you all the best whatever you decide, Robyn

Rupa

"Jackie" <jdajda@newsguy.com> wrote in message
news:hejcqv0m5dkv0gpq22qlps54u5s4i3c8nh@4ax.com... On 01 Nov 2003 18:02:25 GMT, tmnkat@aol.com (Tm n Kat) wrote:Robyn, Being an adoptee and having that need to reunite, to fill in that
holeand at least know your birth families, your history, and having someone,
amother, someone that you thought would have open arms for you, so
powerfullyagainst you protecting her own needs, is a tough and confusing position
to beput in but you are a kind and good hearted person and you will make it,whatever you choose to do, or not do. Damn that's one long sentence :)I know what you are going through and this may sound corny for this tough
oleAA group, but I'm sending hugs your way. Kathy J Kathy you are correct in what you said to me yesterday.. I was wrong to say I would not trust Robyn. I make a public apology here.. I am very sorry I said that Robyn.. Kathy is right..

Boy I like seeing that in black and white LOL Even though I know I'm not
the Kathy being referred to ;)

Kathy 1

In article <e5619372.0311031042.406cdaca@posting.google.com>, Rupa Bose says...Robibnikoff <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote Eeeeek! Sorry, but the whole thought of actually doing this is making my stomach do backflips. I think my bmom's not the only one who isn't ready for this ;)You know, as I read that, I had this image of your mother, sittingwith her closest friend, perhaps the only one who knows about you, andsaying, "I couldn't, oh I simply couldn't. I wish I could..."

LOL, we must have a psychic connection - I've been thinking almost the exact
same thing ;)
And her friend trying to point out that one meeting couldn't hurt...Anyway, wishing you all the best whatever you decide, Robyn

Thanks, Rupa. I'm actually going to be sending out a letter today suggesting
that we meet. We'll see what happens.

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

In article <dafc70.0311031011.22c5e766@posting.google.com>, Rhiannon says...Robibnikoff <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote in message news:<6Qupb.26330$cJ5.4271@www.newsranger.com>... In article <dafc70.0311030638.234860e2@posting.google.com>, Rhiannon says... snipI agree. I like the password too!Maybe it's about time push came to (gentle but firm) shove.If she were to understand how much it would mean for you to meet her,and to be reassured that you've no intention of exposing her 'past' tothe censorious world, or of making precipitous scary moves, perhapsshe'd come.There's a good likelihood she'd even be grateful for the shove onceshe felt sufficiently secure. A heavy burdon of fear would be lifted,IMO.My guess is she's terrified of actually talking to you face to face,and if she could get past this hurdle you could negotiate some kind ofrelationship together Hmmm, well, I am planning on writing her today. I'll give it a shot ;)May good fortune go with that letter, Robyn.I'll be rooting for a good outcome for both you and your bmom :-)

Aw, thanks. You're a sweetie :)

Just be prepared to help me pick up the pieces if she says "forget it!"

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

In article <bo6fjk$18uk9v$1@ID-203097.news.uni-berlin.de>, kat says..."Robibnikoff" <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote in messagenews:z5ypb.26368$cJ5.4355@www.newsranger.co m... In article <e5619372.0311031042.406cdaca@posting.google.com>, Rupa Bosesays...Robibnikoff <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote>> Eeeeek! Sorry, but the whole thought of actually doing this is makingmy> stomach do backflips. I think my bmom's not the only one who isn'tready for> this ;)>You know, as I read that, I had this image of your mother, sittingwith her closest friend, perhaps the only one who knows about you, andsaying, "I couldn't, oh I simply couldn't. I wish I could..." LOL, we must have a psychic connection - I've been thinking almost theexact same thing ;)And her friend trying to point out that one meeting couldn't hurt...Anyway, wishing you all the best whatever you decide, Robyn Thanks, Rupa. I'm actually going to be sending out a letter todaysuggesting that we meet. We'll see what happens.Good Luck!

Thanks!

Now, do you have any Valium on you by any chance? Because I just put the letter
in the mail (yikes!)

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

In article <z5ypb.26368$cJ5.4355@www.newsranger.com>, Robibnikoff
<nospam@newsranger.com> writes:

<snip>
Thanks, Rupa. I'm actually going to be sending out a letter today suggestingthat we meet. We'll see what happens.RobynResident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster#1557

Wishing you the best of luck.

J.

On Mon, 03 Nov 2003 19:34:56 GMT, Robibnikoff <nospam@newsranger.com>
wrote:
In article <e5619372.0311031042.406cdaca@posting.google.com>, Rupa Bose says...Robibnikoff <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote Eeeeek! Sorry, but the whole thought of actually doing this is making my stomach do backflips. I think my bmom's not the only one who isn't ready for this ;)You know, as I read that, I had this image of your mother, sittingwith her closest friend, perhaps the only one who knows about you, andsaying, "I couldn't, oh I simply couldn't. I wish I could..."LOL, we must have a psychic connection - I've been thinking almost the exactsame thing ;)And her friend trying to point out that one meeting couldn't hurt...Anyway, wishing you all the best whatever you decide, RobynThanks, Rupa. I'm actually going to be sending out a letter today suggestingthat we meet. We'll see what happens.RobynResident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster#1557

Fingers crossed for you Robyn :-)

Julia

Robibnikoff <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote in message news:<X9ypb.26369$cJ5.4356@www.newsranger.com>... In article <dafc70.0311031011.22c5e766@posting.google.com>, Rhiannon says...Robibnikoff <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote in message news:<6Qupb.26330$cJ5.4271@www.newsranger.com>... In article <dafc70.0311030638.234860e2@posting.google.com>, Rhiannon says... snip > >I agree. I like the password too! >Maybe it's about time push came to (gentle but firm) shove. >If she were to understand how much it would mean for you to meet her, >and to be reassured that you've no intention of exposing her 'past' to >the censorious world, or of making precipitous scary moves, perhaps >she'd come. >There's a good likelihood she'd even be grateful for the shove once >she felt sufficiently secure. A heavy burdon of fear would be lifted, >IMO. >My guess is she's terrified of actually talking to you face to face, >and if she could get past this hurdle you could negotiate some kind of >relationship together Hmmm, well, I am planning on writing her today. I'll give it a shot ;) > >May good fortune go with that letter, Robyn.I'll be rooting for a good outcome for both you and your bmom :-) Aw, thanks. You're a sweetie :) Just be prepared to help me pick up the pieces if she says "forget it!"



Of course. Everybody on alt.a will be there for you, I'm sure.
I can only imagine how hard this is for you.
But like Kathy J said, 'You're a kind and good hearted person, and
you'll make it whatever you choose, or choose not to do.'
I'm confident she's right.


Rh.

Robyn Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster #1557

"Robibnikoff" <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote in message
news:z5ypb.26368$cJ5.4355@www.newsranger.com... In article <e5619372.0311031042.406cdaca@posting.google.com>, Rupa Bose
says...Robibnikoff <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote Eeeeek! Sorry, but the whole thought of actually doing this is making
my stomach do backflips. I think my bmom's not the only one who isn't
ready for this ;)You know, as I read that, I had this image of your mother, sittingwith her closest friend, perhaps the only one who knows about you, andsaying, "I couldn't, oh I simply couldn't. I wish I could..." LOL, we must have a psychic connection - I've been thinking almost the
exact same thing ;)And her friend trying to point out that one meeting couldn't hurt...Anyway, wishing you all the best whatever you decide, Robyn Thanks, Rupa. I'm actually going to be sending out a letter today
suggesting that we meet. We'll see what happens.

Good Luck!

Kathy 1 Robyn Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster #1557

In article <nrndqvof4q0vnhppn1ksoeuidh3kacvq6d@4ax.com>, Julia says...On Mon, 03 Nov 2003 19:34:56 GMT, Robibnikoff <nospam@newsranger.com>wrote:In article <e5619372.0311031042.406cdaca@posting.google.com>, Rupa Bose says...Robibnikoff <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote>> Eeeeek! Sorry, but the whole thought of actually doing this is making my> stomach do backflips. I think my bmom's not the only one who isn't ready for> this ;)>You know, as I read that, I had this image of your mother, sittingwith her closest friend, perhaps the only one who knows about you, andsaying, "I couldn't, oh I simply couldn't. I wish I could..."LOL, we must have a psychic connection - I've been thinking almost the exactsame thing ;)And her friend trying to point out that one meeting couldn't hurt...Anyway, wishing you all the best whatever you decide, RobynThanks, Rupa. I'm actually going to be sending out a letter today suggestingthat we meet. We'll see what happens.RobynResident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster#1557Fingers crossed for you Robyn :-)

Thanks, Julia. I guess I don't really have anything to lose at this point :)

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

On Sun, 02 Nov 2003 17:23:36 GMT, Robibnikoff <nospam@newsranger.com>
wrote:
But seriously, I'm not torn up about this - Sure I was two years ago (which werethe posts Jackie dredged up), but things are much different now.


I did not dredge them up.. Jeannette did..

All I did was to say I did not say what you said I said..

It was proven that I had not..



Jackie

In article <bo6jvj$1969vj$1@ID-203097.news.uni-berlin.de>, kat says..."Robibnikoff" <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote in messagenews:SGzpb.26395$cJ5.4365@www.newsranger.co m... In article <bo6fjk$18uk9v$1@ID-203097.news.uni-berlin.de>, kat says..."Robibnikoff" <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote in messagenews:z5ypb.26368$cJ5.4355@www.newsranger.co m...> In article <e5619372.0311031042.406cdaca@posting.google.com>, Rupa Bosesays...> >> >Robibnikoff <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote> >>> >> Eeeeek! Sorry, but the whole thought of actually doing this ismakingmy> >> stomach do backflips. I think my bmom's not the only one who isn'tready for> >> this ;)> >>> >> >You know, as I read that, I had this image of your mother, sitting> >with her closest friend, perhaps the only one who knows about you, and> >saying, "I couldn't, oh I simply couldn't. I wish I could...">> LOL, we must have a psychic connection - I've been thinking almost theexact> same thing ;)>> >And her friend trying to point out that one meeting couldn't hurt...> >> >Anyway, wishing you all the best whatever you decide, Robyn>> Thanks, Rupa. I'm actually going to be sending out a letter todaysuggesting> that we meet. We'll see what happens.>Good Luck! Thanks! Now, do you have any Valium on you by any chance?No - sorry. I have some Vicodin and some blood pressure pills will thosedo? ;)

I'll pass on the blood pressure pills, but a half a Vicodin would do just nicely
(whole ones make me barf).
Because I just put the letter in the mail (yikes!)
Oh boy, there's no turning back now!

Exactly! ;)

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

"Robibnikoff" <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote in message
news:SGzpb.26395$cJ5.4365@www.newsranger.com... In article <bo6fjk$18uk9v$1@ID-203097.news.uni-berlin.de>, kat says..."Robibnikoff" <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote in messagenews:z5ypb.26368$cJ5.4355@www.newsranger.co m... In article <e5619372.0311031042.406cdaca@posting.google.com>, Rupa Bosesays... > >Robibnikoff <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote >> >> Eeeeek! Sorry, but the whole thought of actually doing this is
makingmy >> stomach do backflips. I think my bmom's not the only one who isn'tready for >> this ;) >> > >You know, as I read that, I had this image of your mother, sitting >with her closest friend, perhaps the only one who knows about you, and >saying, "I couldn't, oh I simply couldn't. I wish I could..." LOL, we must have a psychic connection - I've been thinking almost theexact same thing ;) >And her friend trying to point out that one meeting couldn't hurt... > >Anyway, wishing you all the best whatever you decide, Robyn Thanks, Rupa. I'm actually going to be sending out a letter todaysuggesting that we meet. We'll see what happens.Good Luck! Thanks! Now, do you have any Valium on you by any chance?

No - sorry. I have some Vicodin and some blood pressure pills will those
do? ;)


Because I just put the letter in the mail (yikes!)


Oh boy, there's no turning back now!

Kathy 1

In article <dafc70.0311031600.9337328@posting.google.com>, Rhiannon says...Robibnikoff <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote in message news:<X9ypb.26369$snip Aw, thanks. You're a sweetie :) Just be prepared to help me pick up the pieces if she says "forget it!"Of course. Everybody on alt.a will be there for you, I'm sure.I can only imagine how hard this is for you.But like Kathy J said, 'You're a kind and good hearted person, andyou'll make it whatever you choose, or choose not to do.'I'm confident she's right.

Well, I discussed it with my husband tonight and we both feel that this is the
next logical step. I'm tired of sending letters every two months and rarely
getting a response in return. I pretty much feel that I don't have much to
lose.

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

On Mon, 03 Nov 2003 19:34:56 GMT, Robibnikoff
<nospam@newsranger.com> wrote:
In article <e5619372.0311031042.406cdaca@posting.google.com>, Rupa Bose says...Robibnikoff <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote Eeeeek! Sorry, but the whole thought of actually doing this is making my stomach do backflips. I think my bmom's not the only one who isn't ready for this ;)You know, as I read that, I had this image of your mother, sittingwith her closest friend, perhaps the only one who knows about you, andsaying, "I couldn't, oh I simply couldn't. I wish I could..."LOL, we must have a psychic connection - I've been thinking almost the exactsame thing ;)And her friend trying to point out that one meeting couldn't hurt...Anyway, wishing you all the best whatever you decide, RobynThanks, Rupa. I'm actually going to be sending out a letter today suggestingthat we meet. We'll see what happens.RobynResident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster#1557


Good luck, Robin.

Nancy

In article <a8vdqvc6hm34nc4prggfrlm78v940up7fi@4ax.com>, Jackie says...On Sun, 02 Nov 2003 17:23:36 GMT, Robibnikoff <nospam@newsranger.com>wrote:But seriously, I'm not torn up about this - Sure I was two years ago (which werethe posts Jackie dredged up), but things are much different now.I did not dredge them up.. Jeannette did..All I did was to say I did not say what you said I said..It was proven that I had not..

Not that I want to keep going round and round on this, but it WAS proven that
you did say to me that perhaps my bmom would contact me if I changed my attitude
- we all saw it.

Maybe you meant it in a different way, but you did post it. I'm surprised that
you're denying it after Jeanette showed the original post.

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

On Mon, 03 Nov 2003 21:22:58 GMT, Robibnikoff <nospam@newsranger.com>
wrote:

<snip>
Thanks!Now, do you have any Valium on you by any chance?

Why yes...... yes I do have some Valium on me.
Because I just put the letterin the mail (yikes!)

Okay! And yikes indeed.

Good thoughts on this for you both, but especially for you.

GR

On Mon, 03 Nov 2003 13:53:25 GMT, Robibnikoff <nospam@newsranger.com>
wrote:
I was wrong to say I would not trust Robyn.I make a public apology here..I am very sorry I said that Robyn.. Kathy is right..Well.....alrighty then. Apology accepted :)

Thank you..

Jackie

In article <X9ypb.26369$cJ5.4356@www.newsranger.com>, Robibnikoff
<nospam@newsranger.com> writes:
In article <dafc70.0311031011.22c5e766@posting.google.com>, Rhiannon says...Robibnikoff <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote in messagenews:<6Qupb.26330$cJ5.4271@www.newsranger.com>... In article <dafc70.0311030638.234860e2@posting.google.com>, Rhiannonsays... snip > >I agree. I like the password too! >Maybe it's about time push came to (gentle but firm) shove. >If she were to understand how much it would mean for you to meet her, >and to be reassured that you've no intention of exposing her 'past' to >the censorious world, or of making precipitous scary moves, perhaps >she'd come. >There's a good likelihood she'd even be grateful for the shove once >she felt sufficiently secure. A heavy burdon of fear would be lifted, >IMO. >My guess is she's terrified of actually talking to you face to face, >and if she could get past this hurdle you could negotiate some kind of >relationship together Hmmm, well, I am planning on writing her today. I'll give it a shot ;) > >May good fortune go with that letter, Robyn.I'll be rooting for a good outcome for both you and your bmom :-)Aw, thanks. You're a sweetie :)Just be prepared to help me pick up the pieces if she says "forget it!"RobynResident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster#1557

We will all be here for you, either way :)

KL

In article <20031105175026.14837.00004102@mb-m03.aol.com>, KL says...In article <X9ypb.26369$cJ5.4356@www.newsranger.com>, Robibnikoff<nospam@newsranger.com> writes:In article <dafc70.0311031011.22c5e766@posting.google.com>, Rhiannon says...Robibnikoff <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote in messagenews:<6Qupb.26330$cJ5.4271@www.newsranger.com>...> In article <dafc70.0311030638.234860e2@posting.google.com>, Rhiannonsays...> snip> >> >I agree. I like the password too!> >Maybe it's about time push came to (gentle but firm) shove.> >If she were to understand how much it would mean for you to meet her,> >and to be reassured that you've no intention of exposing her 'past' to> >the censorious world, or of making precipitous scary moves, perhaps> >she'd come.> >There's a good likelihood she'd even be grateful for the shove once> >she felt sufficiently secure. A heavy burdon of fear would be lifted,> >IMO.> >My guess is she's terrified of actually talking to you face to face,> >and if she could get past this hurdle you could negotiate some kind of> >relationship together>> Hmmm, well, I am planning on writing her today. I'll give it a shot ;)>May good fortune go with that letter, Robyn.I'll be rooting for a good outcome for both you and your bmom :-)Aw, thanks. You're a sweetie :)Just be prepared to help me pick up the pieces if she says "forget it!"We will all be here for you, either way :)

Thanks, mon ;)

Believe me, you'll have to deal with a lot more if she says "yes" than if she
says "no". If she says yes, I'll be flipping my wiglet. I remember when I
first wrote her 2 1/2 years ago, I was a total nervous wreck. I, ha ha, assumed
that I'd be getting a phone call ("Oh, thank goodness, I've been waiting to hear
from you") and completely freaked every time the phone rang :)

And we all know that wasn't the case.

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

In article <Ztiqb.26824$cJ5.4310@www.newsranger.com>, Robibnikoff
<nospam@newsranger.com> writes:
In article <20031105175026.14837.00004102@mb-m03.aol.com>, KL says...In article <X9ypb.26369$cJ5.4356@www.newsranger.com>, Robibnikoff<nospam@newsranger.com> writes:In article <dafc70.0311031011.22c5e766@posting.google.com>, Rhiannonsays...>>Robibnikoff <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote in messagenews:<6Qupb.26330$cJ5.4271@www.newsranger.com>...>> In article <dafc70.0311030638.234860e2@posting.google.com>, Rhiannonsays...>> snip>> >>> >I agree. I like the password too!>> >Maybe it's about time push came to (gentle but firm) shove.>> >If she were to understand how much it would mean for you to meet her,>> >and to be reassured that you've no intention of exposing her 'past' to>> >the censorious world, or of making precipitous scary moves, perhaps>> >she'd come.>> >There's a good likelihood she'd even be grateful for the shove once>> >she felt sufficiently secure. A heavy burdon of fear would be lifted,>> >IMO.>> >My guess is she's terrified of actually talking to you face to face,>> >and if she could get past this hurdle you could negotiate some kind of>> >relationship together>>>> Hmmm, well, I am planning on writing her today. I'll give it a shot ;)>>>May good fortune go with that letter, Robyn.>I'll be rooting for a good outcome for both you and your bmom :-)Aw, thanks. You're a sweetie :)Just be prepared to help me pick up the pieces if she says "forget it!"We will all be here for you, either way :)Thanks, mon ;)Believe me, you'll have to deal with a lot more if she says "yes" than if shesays "no". If she says yes, I'll be flipping my wiglet. I remember when Ifirst wrote her 2 1/2 years ago, I was a total nervous wreck. I, ha ha,assumedthat I'd be getting a phone call ("Oh, thank goodness, I've been waiting tohearfrom you") and completely freaked every time the phone rang :)And we all know that wasn't the case.RobynResident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster#1557

WOW kind of reverse here...I was expecting to get a letter and instead got a
phone call. Talk about excitement. I was beside myself, but determined not to
show it in my voice. lol

KL

In article <20031107215317.23307.00004242@mb-m29.aol.com>, KL says...In article <Ztiqb.26824$cJ5.4310@www.newsranger.com>, Robibnikoff<nospam@newsranger.com> writes:In article <20031105175026.14837.00004102@mb-m03.aol.com>, KL says...In article <X9ypb.26369$cJ5.4356@www.newsranger.com>, Robibnikoff<nospam@newsranger.com> writes:>In article <dafc70.0311031011.22c5e766@posting.google.com>, Rhiannonsays...>>>>Robibnikoff <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote in message>news:<6Qupb.26330$cJ5.4271@www.newsranger.com>...>>> In article <dafc70.0311030638.234860e2@posting.google.com>, Rhiannon>says...>>> snip>>> >>>> >I agree. I like the password too!>>> >Maybe it's about time push came to (gentle but firm) shove.>>> >If she were to understand how much it would mean for you to meet her,>>> >and to be reassured that you've no intention of exposing her 'past' to>>> >the censorious world, or of making precipitous scary moves, perhaps>>> >she'd come.>>> >There's a good likelihood she'd even be grateful for the shove once>>> >she felt sufficiently secure. A heavy burdon of fear would be lifted,>>> >IMO.>>> >My guess is she's terrified of actually talking to you face to face,>>> >and if she could get past this hurdle you could negotiate some kind of>>> >relationship together>>>>>> Hmmm, well, I am planning on writing her today. I'll give it a shot ;)>>>>>May good fortune go with that letter, Robyn.>>I'll be rooting for a good outcome for both you and your bmom :-)>>Aw, thanks. You're a sweetie :)>>Just be prepared to help me pick up the pieces if she says "forget it!"We will all be here for you, either way :)Thanks, mon ;)Believe me, you'll have to deal with a lot more if she says "yes" than if shesays "no". If she says yes, I'll be flipping my wiglet. I remember when Ifirst wrote her 2 1/2 years ago, I was a total nervous wreck. I, ha ha,assumedthat I'd be getting a phone call ("Oh, thank goodness, I've been waiting tohearfrom you") and completely freaked every time the phone rang :)And we all know that wasn't the case.RobynResident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster#1557WOW kind of reverse here...I was expecting to get a letter and instead got aphone call. Talk about excitement. I was beside myself, but determined not toshow it in my voice. lol

I'll be honest with you, I'm hardly even thinking about it. If I get a letter
in the near future, I'll probably give my usual reaction "Oh, well, will there's
a surprise" ;)

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557