My son lives with me, but he sees his father everyother weekend. Now his father is moving to SC and we live in NY. My son is only 3 and his father says he only wants to take my son to SC for a month during the summer every other year and that it. My son won't know his father in two years. My son doesn't even last a weekend before he has his father call so he can ask to come home. So what do I say to his father? What is something that maybe we can both agree on? Please Help!

My son lives with me, but he sees his father everyother weekend. Now his father is moving to SC and we live in NY. My son is only 3 and his father says he only wants to have visitation every other year. My son won't know his father in two years much less last going to SC for a month without me. My son doesn't even last a weekend before he calls and asks to come home. So what do I say to his father? What is something that maybe we can both agree on?


he wont get every other year, the child has school. summers okay, every other weekend maybe not maybe if he comes to NY. talk to him because every other year is insane, suggest summers or once a month when hes in town. hes smart to be only 3 and calls home

I would talk to the father and tell him that if he moves his son will not even know him. I have a boy who is 7 youngest of 3 kids. Ater my divorce my ex stayed in town for about a year and decided to move to CA. He saw the kids 8 weeks out of 2 years and even when they went to visit they said it was too long! The father moved back in town and now we are doing shared custody, what a nightmare. My oldest children are okay with it, not happy but they deal with it, my son throws an absolute fit not to go and he was the child who thought daddy was God before he moved. Total turnaround and I think it is a feeling of abandonment and he has grown accustomed to living here with me and my husband. It broke my ex's heart but if he would not of moved it would not of happened!!

My son lives with me, but he sees his father everyother weekend. Now his father is moving to SC and we live in NY. My son is only 3 and his father says he only wants to have visitation every other year. My son won't know his father in two years much less last going to SC for a month without me. My son doesn't even last a weekend before he calls and asks to come home. So what do I say to his father? What is something that maybe we can both agree on?

I assume you have sole physical custody and the father has visitation rights. Your state should have visitation guidelines for a situation where the parents live a certain amount of miles apart (long distance). That is what the law will allow. Of course, you can come up with an alternative solution IF you both agree on it. If you can't agree, you both have to abide by what your state guidelines are. Usually the parent who moves away is the one repsonsible for all travel costs associated with the visitation. I'd look into those guidelines first to see what you have to do if you can't agree on something else.

I think that phone calls once a week or for different events (birthdays, school report cards, sports events, etc.), and letter writing (emails if you both have email access), is a great way to stay in touch and have a loving relationship. A child can still feel loved with contact that way. As far as visitation every other year, do you mean one year living with you and one year living with him? That would not be in the best interest of a child, it would uproot the child every year, one year is too long to alternate, the child needs one stable environment, shared custody only works if you live in the same area. For parents not living in the same area, visitations in short amounts of time (so it's a visit, not a living situation) is best.

my suggestion is that you sit down with him and discuss a long distance parenting agreement.

every other year visitation is ridiculous. and you are right in that your son wont even remember who he is if he waits 2 years to see him.

when your son gets a little older more time with dad wont be such a huge problem.

my suggestion for inclusion in the long distance plan would be visitations that increase in length as your sons age increases.

www.deltabravo.net/custody

great web site with some great sample parenting plans

good luck to you

rini