terminating my rights...sooo lost [Archive]

rich lather

02-22-2006, 01:51 PM

love it hate it

02-22-2006, 02:34 PM

angel101700

02-22-2006, 04:12 PM

my story is, 5 years ago a female friend wanted to be with me before i went off to boot camp. I literally had the condom half way open when she said "im on birth control you dont need that"...soooo being the dumb kid i was, I did not use the condom...well she got pregnant and refused to have the abortion that I begged and cried and pleaded her to have. So confused and sickened i tried to continue with my life wanting absolutely nothing to do with her (which i made perfectly clear before we had sex that it was just that, sex, and nothing more)...So I did not sign the birth certificate but, when he was around 7-9 months old she called me crying saying i needed to come with her to the child support office and sign up or the state wont give him insurance...very very stupid but i did it and now my life is a complete wreck...im 5000$ behind, have no car, ive hardly ever even seen my son, suicidal thoughts enter my head more and more...and on top of that every time i lapse on the payments they suspend my drivers license costing me hundreds putting me even farther behind on my mission of getting my own place vehicle and a decent life ...Me and my childs mother have atleast grown to be civil with eachother and have decided that it be best for me to terminate my rights and getting rid of the child support which she never even needed in the first place...so i went to the courthouse today and asked for the forms or whatever it will take to get this process started...they basically said im on my own...please someone help me, show me the steps i must take to sign away my rights...

When my father found out I was going to be born he didnt believe I was his.
I am 25 and still do not talk to him even though there were blood test done.
Although you did not want a child you have one and that fact is not going to go away.
My mother never sued my father for child support. Sadly he got arrested by the state because of it. He now has to work under the table so the state can not take money from him. So all in all he can not retire with pention, can not buy a house, can not get a car, can not be known to the state at all. Does not pay taxes. And can get fired just like that without cause. In fact he still lives at home with his mother!!!!!!!!!!!!

The point is do you want to run for the rest of your life???????I dont know your situation but you said the mother does not need the money right? Maybe she is doing it to get you to be involved in your childs life. A messed up way to do it but everything you are going through is a constant reminder that you have a kid.Mabye if you took interest and spent on day a week with your kid she would back off and you would be able to start getting your life back in order. I hate when woman do this but she is minipulating you and she wont stop untill you give in and she never will.

Look I know you dont want a kid but I can tell you from being a fatherless kid my self, I am 25 years old and I am still messed up over it.
I ask myself, why didnt he want me??? What did I do wrong???
I got married on October and my father didnt walk me down the isle, I am having his grandchild in Aug and he will not be there to see it.

I think you need to read what you wrote again because you are being selfish. There is a child out there, this is not there fault and it took me a long time to see that. Yes you were the stupid one to believe you can not get pregnant on birth control. But you need to step up and be a man. It takes two to tango and now because of YOUR actions there is a kid out there wondering why there father doesnt love them.

You have two choices, run for the rest of your life and live with your mother untill you die or make it all better start dealing with the whole situation.

PS, giving up your rights will not help you in 20 years when your child tracks you down and asks you why you left them. It will never go away so deal with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One more thing, how dare you plead with a woman to get an abortion, I am not against it but a man has no right what so ever to even ask a person to do this.

rini

02-22-2006, 09:01 PM

love it hate it

02-23-2006, 06:22 AM

ncmaureen

02-23-2006, 07:11 AM

How old are you? Do you think that maybe one day you will regret signing away your rights? If you are young then you are not probably thinking about the emotional reprecutions of terminating your rights. What if you are never able to have children again are you going to regret signing this one away? You need to ask yourself alot of questions before taking the risk of never being able to see this child.

peanut1984

02-23-2006, 07:34 AM

I just think it's wrong to ask her to have an abortion or to expect her to have an abortion. That would be violating her rights as a woman. I think you should be more responsible with your life and your decisions. She may have told you that you didn't have to use a condom, but you could have stepped up and said well, I think we should. I was on birth control and using condoms and my fiance and I are 6 months pregnant. They don't always work. You could have also said, well I don't feel comfortable with just having sex and leaving knowing that she could get pregnant.

shedo

02-23-2006, 08:22 AM

angel101700

02-23-2006, 08:23 AM

as long as abortion is legal in this country a man has just as much right to suggest it as a woman has to have it.

How dare he?? How many women have them all the time with out even informing the father. As long as it is legal as a form of birth control it is equally just for either party involved to suggest it. Unfortunately a man can't demand it but a woman can do it with out his permission.

If we change the laws and allow the fathers to be able to demand that we carry their child to term how would you feel about that???

whats good for the goose is good for the gander equality is what it is...

well as long as its legal it is his right to voice his opinion and it is her right to do as she sees fit.

rini

Oh, I agree with you 100 percent. I should have made myself more clear, the mans whole posts is about him and what he is going through. His job, his car, his dept. Well its not all about him!!! What about her and that child?
I did have an abortion once. I was with a man who, when I sat and looked at him I saw my father, a man who wouldnt be there for his child, A man who it turns out was in mental institutes, a man who only cared about him self, just as this man above. God we were still together the day I got my abortion and he wouldnt call in late for work, but yet he called in late for work when he was to hung over or needed a fix. I didnt want to go through life with him forever and since I didnt have a dad I knew how it would feel for my child so I got the abortion. 7 years later and I still think about it but it was the right chioce for me. and I made that choice!!!!!!!!
This man, only thought of himself from the minute he wanted to get off without a condom on!!!!!!!! Thats why I said how dare he, because from the first minute he is all he has thought about.

dadindeed

02-23-2006, 08:27 AM

I think you will be making a BIG mistake by doing this! I feel that you should at least try to make a bond and get to know this child. I was 16 when I had my first child with my now wife. Yeah we were young, and have not always been together. I even paid child support at one point. Now that we have grown and realized life is not gonna change due to are immaturity, we got our crap together, dealt with life without eachother, life with eachother and now we are married. I am 24 and my wife is 25. We have 3 children together and 1 I had while we were not together. And yes I pay child support on my child out of wedlock and I see her to, and I support my family at home! I only make $18, and I make it work for everyone!

I am sure this is all about child support. Why don't you ask if you 2 can just start fresh, ask her to knock off the arrears and start a relationship with your child. How would you like to feel unwanted by your own father? I could never do that to any of my children. I couldn't even do it at 16, jobless, and lost on how to raise a child. Now my children are the light of my life! I could not imagine life without them! I would have more money, but money does not replace the joy of that little person you created, and molding that child to be the best he/she can be. It will make you grow up, I did. It wont hurt to see your child at least every other weekend. Child support is just something you have to do to support your child. If your ex was not on state assistance, she can write off all arrears. If she was on assistance, then the arrears is owed to the state, and they will not write it off. Be a REAL MAN and take care of your own!!!!

ncmaureen

02-23-2006, 09:12 AM

dadindeed you are awesome!!!! Why not try to have a relationship with your child?? That is a part of you and all the debt and anguish that goes along with it is worth the bond and love you have with your child. Just give it a chance you never know it might be exactly what you are needing in your life right now because it seems you are depressed and need unconditional love which is what you get from a child!!!

dadindeed

02-23-2006, 09:53 AM

ncmaureen, I definitlyagree with you! It does sound like this guy is depressed!

Maybe you do need this bond with your child. That unconditional love he/she will give you will get you through the hard times. That smile from that little face will brighten your day wether your writing out that child support check, changing that diaper, or figuring our how to raise that child, it will all come to you, and you will not regret giving that child the chance. You will also realize what it takes to raise a child, and the money will not be that hard to give up when you see that kids are not free. They do cost, but its worth it, trust me and all these others giving the great advice.

kickedout216

02-23-2006, 02:00 PM

angel101700

02-23-2006, 02:34 PM

Ok Im A Female And If I Were Preg wiht this guys baby and had the kid and everything and the guy wanted me to get an abortion it wouldnt matter to me that he sugguested it.. it dont matter if the guy or the girl sugguests it... all that matters is that you both are goin to be able to care for this child.. and that the child will have a great life... but if there is any doubt in your mind about then u shouldnt have a kid.... and as for him wanting to terminate his rights then he should if thats how he feels about it and wants it to be that way then let him... and if the mother is being civil then when he terminates his right she could possibly let him see his kid... but i think the best thing to do is to ask the mom to drop the child support payments... atleast until you can start paying them again and long enough to get yourself out of debit... and one more thing It The Females Fault She Got Preg... He Wanted To Use A Condom But she Thought That Just Because Shes On The Pill Or Patch W.e That She Cant Get Preg...So She Should Have To Take All The Resopnsibility Not Him He Wanted To Use A Condom.. And She Could Have Used It... Or The Baby Could Not Even Be His She Could Have Slept Wiht Someone Else... but oh well good luck to ya

<3 Ashley

I am shocked. For one it is not the females fault for getting pregnant! It is both of there faults. The guy even said he was young and believed that she couldnt get pregnant by being on the pill.
If you dont know that condoms are not 100% safe and birth control is not 100% safe then you should NOT BE HAVING SEX. My mom was on the pill when she got pregnant with me and she also got her period for 7 months after being pregnant. She was 17, There is my point, 17 and having sex.

I think the issue here has gotten out of the way, What can this guy do? This is not about blamming her or blamming him it is about the fact that there is a child on this earth that belongs to both of them. Who may I remind you is stuck in the middle of a war between a mother who wants her child to have a dad and a dad who wants nothing to do with him.

Oh and it does matter if he asked her to get an abortion because thats like all the woman of the world to ask there men before they sleep with them, do you think you can go and get snipped so I know there is no way I can get pregnant? There is not 100% birth control or condoms so why not us woman asking men to take that issue away so it doesnt happen at all.

God when a woman has a child in her body you dont just say, hey do you think you can go get that thing sucked out of you?
I knew I was pregnant 6 days after it happened. I took the test and it came back negative because it was to soon. I couldnt believe I knew so soon but I did.

As far as his rights, Ok lets give them away, what about her? what about that kid. Do you think that child has a right to know his father? Do you think it is ok for her to do it all by herself?
You know what I dont like doing dishes so oh well I give them up, paying bills, who needs it, I give that up.
In 6 months, I am going to have to change diapers, hear a crying baby all the time, no sleep for me, but hey I dont want to do that so I give it up!

Life is not easy my dear, no part of it is and the process of growing up is doing the things that you dont want to do.

To be honest if I were that woman I wouldnt want my kid to look up to him. What a great role model.
To be honest again his life is not that bad, 5000 in dept, There are people way worse off then he is.
He has a child, he has a place to live, he has clothes on his back.
Now its up to him to make the best of it.

mommyof4

02-23-2006, 05:58 PM

Amen, Angel101700.

misscadde

02-23-2006, 08:57 PM

if you terminate your rights you may still be liable for child support, talk to a lawyer. if you and your childs mom is civil then you can kindly ask her to voluntarily set the arrears to zero, i did that for my kids father in pa.

My husband signed his rights over about 9 yrs ago to his now13 yr old daughter. I guess it depends on what state your in -- but in Texas if you sign your rights over, it's as if you never exsited in that childs life. However, I agree with a comment someone made -- no matter how far you run, and if you do sign over your rights, the child may one day want to know you and then you'll have to deal with the emotional scares.
Also, how in the world could you think about suicide? Do you not beleive in Heaven and Hell? Because I promise you one thing, if you kill yourself you WON'T make it to Heaven. Plus there is nothing in this world worth that. Didn't you say you were going off into the army? If not then maybe you should consider it...afterall, it's a good, steady job that will help you get your life back on track. I feel sorry for you because I know what you are going through...if she will really allow you to sign over your rights I would advise you to do it. I mean there are pro's & con's to it but look at it this way...1.
Are you sure it is your child? 2. Do you want to pay her child support for the next 18 yrs or take a chance on going to prison if you don't? 3. In 18-19 yrs the child does hunt you down -- you will be older and more stable to handle it. Hope this helps... please whatever you do pray about it and I promise God will direct you. The 1st thing I would do is ask for a paternity test. :confused:

misscadde

02-23-2006, 08:58 PM

if you terminate your rights you may still be liable for child support, talk to a lawyer. if you and your childs mom is civil then you can kindly ask her to voluntarily set the arrears to zero, i did that for my kids father in pa.

My husband signed his rights over about 9 yrs ago to his 13 yr old daughter. I assume depending on what state your in -- but in texas once you sign your rights over, it's as if you never exsited in that childs life. However, I do agree with a comment someone made -- no matter how far you run, no matter if you do sign over your rights the child will one day want to find you and then you'll have to deal with the emotional scares.
Also, how in the world could you think about suicide? Do you not beleive in Heaven and Hell? Because I promise you one thing, if you kill yourself you WON'T make it to Heaven. Plus there is nothing in this world worth that. Didn't you say you were going off into the army? If not then maybe you should consider it...afterall, it's a good, steady job that will help you get your life back on track. I feel sorry for you because I too know what you are going through...if she will really allow you to sign over your rights I would advise you to do it. I mean there are pro's & con's to it but look at it this way...1.
Are you sure it is your child? 2. Do you want to pay her child support for the next 18 yrs or take a chance on going to prison if you don't? 3. 18-19 yrs down the road the child does hunt you down -- you will be older and more stable to handle it. Hope this helps... please whatever you do pray about it and I promise God will direct you. The 1st thing I would do is ask for a paternity test. :confused:

Heather65

03-01-2006, 06:43 AM

angel101700

03-01-2006, 02:49 PM

I realize this is not a abortion forum but just gotta let MY opionion be known.Abortion is WRONG...anyway ya look at it. They seriously need to take a look at that law they made 33 yrs ago.The technology nowadays clearly shows LIFE begins wayyyyy before that baby is born. It's so hard to understand how they can spend thousands and thousands of dollars to keep these babies alive in neo-natal units when there born oh so small...yet sooo very alive,and yet they are killing the ones,the same exact size,in another part of the same damn city that the mother decided she doesnt want anymore,just because it isnt convenient for her at the time,or for whatever reason. Now come on..what the hell sense does that make!!!! There are soooo many people out there that CANNOT have children,and would just love to have that so called "unwanted" baby.There is no such thing as a "unwanted" baby,BUT there are so many selfish mothers.It takes one heck of a strong woman to carry a child for nine months and then relinquish,but the life you give to that child,and the happiness and chance for these people to have a family is so rewarding to all involved,everyone wins in the end. I know.....I been there.....with absolutely no regrets!!!! Choice...once conceived...there is none. Your choice comes before that point. Think about It.

You are right this is not about abortion. This is about a child who is very much alive, but since you had to put your two sence in, I think I do to.
I am a very open minded person. When it comes to abortion, I believe that it should not be used as a form of birth control.

I also believe a woman has a choice though, if she was raped, if the child is so messed up to a point in the womans body, that the doctor says well the best chioce for you and the baby is to abort because the woman could die.
If she is having sex, to pay for drugs, and she is a crack head.

I dont know where you are from or what kind of work you are in but let me tell you what I have seen first hand, Where I use to work, The kids were all messed up from there parents, who smoked crack, or what ever the case may be and then left them for the state to take care of. The kids had no families, no choice, no one wanted these kids because they needed full time doctors and nurses to take care of them. People didnt want to adopt a child like this, they want the healthy babies, who have no problems.

I a person, who did not give birth to these kids, changed there diapers, got them dresses, feed them, tried to play games with them when at the end of the day, you know they are complete vegtables, they for 15 years have been like that and they will never change. I prayed everytime these kids had to be rushed to the hospital for god to just take them so they didnt have to live like that anymore.
Can you imagine, laying on a couch for two weeks, you can not move your self, you can not talk, you can only go to the bathroom in your pants.
You can not tell me if your side hurts, you can not tell me you have an itch, you can not tell me if you feel sick, you can not tell me you understand what I am saying to you.

People who dont believe in abortion, let me take you to these places, let me show you these kids, I sure as hell didnt see one person on the side of the road trying to stop abortion come to my place of business and try to adopt on of these kids. They are all over the world honey and you dont see them because the state has them in an insitute.

On the other hand if I saw these kids getting adopted on a daily basis, and not kids from china, and rusha, maybe I wouldnt believe in abortion because our kids no matter what was wrong with them were being treated like healthy kids I would fight to keep them alive.

But right now I dont, those kids had no chioce, no choice to go through crack or cocaine withdraws, there brain not getting a chance to grow, no family, no school, no one wants them, you go tell that to them before you preach to people how wrong it is to abort a messed up child.

There are reasons to do it. There are also reasons not to, I am not saying it is ok but dont be so close minded, you need to see all the facts before you make a decision about people who do it.

I would rather see a crack head get an abortion, then, give birth to it and throw it in a trash can and now the state has it and no one wants it. Yes I have seen it.

Oh and ps, I have also seen kids adopted by psycho people who are only in it for the money, and treat these kids like crap, beat them, abuse them, dont feed them.

You tell these kids who are so mentally messed up that they want to commit suicide why keeping them alive was such a good idea, when in fact there family bailed on them and so did the people, people like you who claim adoption is better then abortion.

Sorry but I do hate close minded people.

ncmaureen

03-02-2006, 05:47 AM

angel101700

03-02-2006, 10:39 AM

Yes I agree in the cases of crack heads and messed up people that abortion is an option and in the case of rape I can understand, but you have these people that instead of taking birthcontrol pills or using condoms they use abortion as a birth control option and there is no drug habit or mental issue, they just got lost in the moment and they think well if I do get pregnant I can always get an abortion. I beleive they make it too easy for people not to think about birth control methods because of that option. Thats what upsets me because there could be a beautiful healthy baby inside of them and if they don't want to keep him/her there are people who would adopt!!!

I agree with you one hundred percent. There is one problem, have you ever been pregnant? I only ask because if you ever were you would know the joys of life inside you.
I am only 14 weeks pregnant, I have felt the flutters inside my stomach, I have seen my baby in pictures. At the end of these nine months if anyone tried to take that baby away from me I would kill them.
For me I am able to take care of my child but if I wasnt and I decided first thing I was going to give it up, I would have changed my mind.
Sadly there are woman out there who know they can not care for this child so they agree to give the child up for adoption, then they feel, and see, there child and they cant do it, they can not give the baby up. I have also seen this, so instead of this child going to be with a good, loving family now they are stuck with the parent who can not take care of them.

All in all, there is no right answer in the end, abortion sucks, adoption sucks if the family is only in it for the money, and if the new parents can not handle the kid they change there mind and the kid goes back into the system, hoping that one day someone will adopt and stick with that chioce and most of the time that doesnt happen. Then you have the true parent who keeps the baby and is unfit to take care of it.

I do however have great respect for the woman who are strong enough to give the child up if they are unfit. I would never be able to do it. The down side of that is in the end most children find out they are adopted and contact the real parents.

The moral of this story is people should not be having sex unless they are ready for the end result. Saying that, there is no way to stop what is going on in the world and we just have to pray that the child in the end, the one who had no choice is taken care of.

And to go with your point, about abortion being used as a form of birth control, I have seen it and it pisses me off too. But if the government takes this away from woman we are going to be taken back to the 40's and 50's when there were back door abortions with shady doctors and once again woman will die.
In this country, if there is a will, there is a way, and abortion will never stop even if it is against the law.
Thats why I like to be open minded. People are going to do things that are illegal, reguardless of how I feel about it, so instead of judging those people try to understand there situation before making judgment.
I know I am not perfect, and i know you are not perfect, no one is, and just because it is not right for you doesnt mean it is not right for someone else.

But like I said I do agree with you.

ncmaureen

03-02-2006, 12:16 PM

Oh I know that it is hard to do (adoption), I have been pregnant 4 times and I have 4 beautiful kids all with great little individual personalities. But I also have a good friend who was put in a situation where she was pregnant with her fiances baby and he ended up being violent and wanted the baby after she left him because for some reason he gets money if he has a baby boy. She looked into adoption and decided on a private adoption and she got to know the parents to be and they would go out to dinner and talk all the time. It really ended up being a good situation because if she kept the baby she would be in danger. I am not saying every situation is that way and I understand that sometimes it abortion is the only way. I just think it is sad that some women think it is soooo easy just to get an abortion.
.................................................. .................................................. .......

Heather65

03-02-2006, 12:36 PM

Yes I agree with what you both are saying. Abortion just makes me so ill the way that it is used and abused in this country. I had a open adoption 23 and 1/2 yrs ago,well partially open. I received pics and regular updates about my child. I ended up meeting the adopting parents 1 yr. after she was born,my decision,and parents were more than happy to meet me.Yes I had a awesome situation,turned out terrific. She invited me to her high school graduation in 2000,and that was the first time I seen her again,since birth.I just really feel abortion is a easy way out for alot of people,and it is just way to easy to get one,a form of birth control. Yes,in certain circumstances it is necessary. People tried to talk me into it(abortion) when I was pregnant the first time(age 16)and I thank god that I did not listen to them,and I listened to my heart,and that I was brought up the way I was,respecting life.

ceara

03-03-2006, 02:57 AM

Heather65

03-03-2006, 04:22 AM

Nope...sure havent been hiding in a cave for 25 yrs. Am fully aware of what goes on around me. What I am saying is that it is too damn EASY to get a abortion.....tooooo many people use it as a form of birth control...and thats a FACT!!! Yeah...you concentrate on the druggies and the poor babies(and YES thats what they are from conception) that result from that..(if ya would of read the other post ya would of seen I did say "certain circumstances) BUT soooo many are perfectly healthy with no chance what so ever all because two people are too involved in there own pleasure at the time...thinking they'll just get rid of "it" if she does get pregnant. Alls I know(for a FACT) is if I would of listened to the people that tried to tell me what to do 23 and 1/2 yrs. ago,there would not be a beautiful young lady on this earth today,and I would be carrying terrible guilt because of the life that I took because I was to selfish thinking about how it was gonna mess MY life up. Like I said in my last post....I am just glad that I was brought up realizing how valuable a life is. This is MY opinion...and I happen to feel very strongly about the innocent babies being murdered today.

ncmaureen

03-03-2006, 05:51 AM

As it has been said certain circumstances. You talk about these homes with fetal alcohol syndrome and drug addicted kids yes those are the certain circumstances. What is trying to be said here is that women with no drug problem or alcoholism who are perfectly capable of having children are having abortions instead of taking birth control and stopping the whole process to from happening because it is sooo easy to do. It is definitely not a perfect world and there is no way of telling who would be capable of caring for a child I just wish there was so babies would not have to be killed and have a chance for life.

I don't believe anyone is "living in a cave" just hoping for a better world.

ceara

03-03-2006, 06:39 AM

Heather65

03-03-2006, 08:36 AM

What you fail to realize is just because it's legal.....doesnt make it RIGHT!!! Take a look at a ultra-sound in the first beginning of life...and tell me that thats not a living HUMAN being...and I dont care what way you look at it....in MY opinion it IS MURDER!!!!!!!!!!! And I can walk with my head held high KNOWING I DID NOT take the easy way out of a very difficult situation...and she thanx me(my birth daughter)regularly for giving her life...because she knows how available abortion was and is and the choice I could of made because of that law that was made so many years ago. I am just glad I dont carry any regret with me.

dadindeed

03-03-2006, 09:25 AM

Your child should not even know that you may have aborted her if you listened to other people. She should not even thank you for life. Its your fault you were not careful and got preganat at 16 when you were unstable and not able to care for a baby! I had my first at 16, and abortion nor adoption were an option! I had this baby with my girlfriend from not being careful, I had no job nor did she! We got off our asses and worked at fast food places, or anywhere that would hire us to work. We were living on our own by the time we were 18. I finished high school and so did he. It is possible to care for a child at a young age as long as you are willing to give up them teenage years and not worry about your friends and partying!

ceara

03-03-2006, 10:20 AM

I finished high school and so did he. It is possible to care for a child at a young age as long as you are willing to give up them teenage years and not worry about your friends and partying!

That is just a typo, isn't it? ;) Seriously, you and your girlfriend did what SHOULD be done. You messed up, you knew you messed up, you admitted you messed up and then you both GREW UP and put raising that child on your own, without welfare and hand outs. That's how any responsible ADULT reacts.

dadindeed

03-03-2006, 10:32 AM

typo, yes of course. I ment she, must have not pressed the s key hard enough! :)

angel101700

03-03-2006, 10:41 AM

angel101700

03-03-2006, 10:48 AM

I can not answer anyone elses qoute on here.
I am very glad that most of you are open minded.
Some of you dont.
The moral of this whole thread should be it is AMERICA, some people like whats going on in the world some people dont, but that is why we have freedom of speech, and a choice to adopt, abortion, or keep the child.

But going back and forth with eachother is not going to change the way the world works. As much as we wish it would.

I just pray for all the unwanted babies out there in the world, and I pray for the children whos parents are unfit to raise them and believe abortion and adoption is not an option. and I prey for the kids who are adopted by bad people.

Heather65

03-03-2006, 10:59 AM

Hey dude....you dont know my situation back then...so jump back. Abortion never was a "choice" for me. She DOESNT even know that people mentioned abortion to me back when I was pregnant with her...she just knows how AVAILABLE it was and how I COULD HAVE gone that route. I am and always have been 100% pro-life. YOU know nothing of the details of my situation back then,so jump back again dude and quit assuming you know the circumstances of MY situation and how everything happened...OK. Just because maybe you were the "partyin'" kind and didnt pay attention to what might happen after the "fun"...dont assume I was. She was one of the lucky ones who had a mother unselfish enough to offer her the best life she could at the time. And another thing, who are YOU to decide what she is thankful for.If she wants to thank me for being alive,I think thats up to her. I gave a gift to a couple that they werent able to give to themselves.They were able to have a family that they would not have been able to have if there were not people like me out in this world today. And they thank me too. :)

dadindeed

03-03-2006, 11:10 AM

Obviously I was NOT the partying kind, I took my responsibility and did what I had to do to care for my child. I am a successful young man now and that child had no bearing on me, nor my education! A child is only a bearing if that parent makes it! Talk about JUMP BACK!! Why don't you jump back on some of your comments on her about abortion! I will not JUMP BACK I simply said my opinion about what i got from you and your post!

dadindeed

03-03-2006, 11:16 AM

Good post Angel! You are absolutly right! No matter who anyone is and how pro life they are or not, abortion, and adoption is going to happen no matter what! This guy who posted this thread had not even replied to anything anyone has written! This thread has went way to far and is a argument noone is gonna win! Have fun with this one all! :D

Heather65

03-03-2006, 11:43 AM

I am just posting MY opinions.....sorry if ya cant handle it!!!! JUMP BACK on your comments about thinkin ya know MY situation......cuz ya dont. Have a great day!!!! :D :D :D

angel101700

03-03-2006, 06:02 PM

I am just posting MY opinions.....sorry if ya cant handle it!!!! JUMP BACK on your comments about thinkin ya know MY situation......cuz ya dont. Have a great day!!!! :D :D :D

Heather65, I think that is now becomming the point of this post. You are so upset about people talking about abortion and you did adoption, and people are against that. I have no idea what you went through and you dont know what a person goes through when they get an abortion so you need to step back and realize that everyone is going through diffrent situations and thats why they do what they do, abortion or adoption.

To be honest, you were 16, my mom was 16 too. She kept me, and you gave your kid away. Who is right here?????? No one is right here, she kept me and she had no idea what she was doing,and you gave up a child and yes it might be great now between you but when she was young do you think at night when she was going to sleep she was wondering why her mommy wasnt tucking her in?
My mom made a lot of mistakes, I was passed around to family members all my life untill she decided to be a mother, but I always wondered where she was, how come she didnt want to be with me unless she felt like it.

I am 25 and I am not mad at her, she was young, but when I was a kid I was mad at her.
Your kid might be cool with it now but I bet you any amout of money she was mad in some way or another.
She had good people to raise her, and so did I but who does a little girl want???? Other people or thier mother.
I am not trying to judge you, that is the last thing I am trying to do.

All I am saying is you do not know why woman get abortions untill you are in there place, and just because it worked out for you doesnt mean thats how it would be for all woman who decide to go through an open adoption.

I will tell you my story, you may or may not agree but I was put in a situation that no woman wants to go through.
I was 20 years old I had no car, a waitress job, I was 2 hours away from all of my family and I had 2 friends if I was lucky.
I had a boyfriend, he was in and out of mental institutes all his life, I was not aware of this untill after a year of us being together. He treated me like ****.
I was mentally abused, I was taken advantage of, I had money stolen from me, my apartment was a drug infested place because of him and his friends.

Let me go back for a minute, I grew up without a father, He didnt believe I was his, and as of now he still lives at home with his mother.

Ok skip ahead. I got pregnant, I was poor, I had no family, I had him, well when it was ok for him. I was excited about the baby, I wanted nothing more.
I thought this would change him, that he would be a great dad. I wanted to go on welfare or wick to help me out, but didnt even have a car to get there, and no buses run where I live but hey it didnt matter I was going to do it.

I still believed at that point that if a woman wanted to get an abortion it was her chioce but I thought I would never do it in my life. If someone else wanted to do it be my guest but not me, hell no.

Then the abuse got worse, then he grabed me a few times, then the drugs got worse, then oneday I was sitting on the couch and he said he was going to new york to sell drugs and he didnt know when he would be back.

At that point right there I saw my father sitting on the other couch, I knew tat he would never take part in this childs life, I knew that if I ever wanted to get out of this relationship I couldnt because he would hold this child against me, I also knew that he had family who no matter what a piece of **** he was wuld stand by him and if I had no car, no money, no family, and I broke it off with him, he would go back to his parents and get my child.

Who even though I could not support with money I could do with love, but no matter how much love you have for a child if you dont have any money, and no family to help you you will not win your child.

I thought about adoption, But I was already in love with this child and I was 4 weeks if that, pregnant. I knew if this child was going to come out of me it was going to stay with me no matter what and the odds where not with me at all, in the end I would loose my baby, to his family, or to a family who I didnt know and those chioces for me were not an option since I wanted that baby.

I thought long and hard, believe me, when the fact came up about abortion, I was in a daze, i could not believe that I was even thinking about this at all.

I made the appointment, if I was going to do it or not I had no idea, When I told everyone I was going to do this they all said it was the best chioce, my grandmother came to where I live and she drove me.

I was not under, so I knew everything that was going on, I was just on volume to relax me. It took, 2 minutes to do and at the end they counted down 10, 9, 8, its almost over and when it was, I screamed so loud I think the whole world heard me say I just killed my baby, I cried like I was being killed my self and to be honest I did die a little bit that day.

5 years later and I can honestly tell you I have no regrets. I did what was best for my child. I didnt bring it into this world to have kids who had no money for parents and I didnt give it to people who I had no idea how they would treat my child.
I didnt want my kid to find me in 20 years and ask me why, I wanted that child, I still think about it all the time, but I dont have regrets. I think in my situation I did the best thing.

Oh and the guy, I gotrid of him the day I had my abortion, there is way more to that story about him but I wont get into that.

Now 5 years later, I got married in october, I had a dream right after I got married. I dont know about you but I have had people who die come to me in dreams and I had one about my daughter, She told me she understood why I did what I did, She also told me that she was scared of her daddy and she said I would have a child soon and its the right time.
That was the best dream of my life, I will never forget it and it just reasured me I did the right thing.

I am now 14 weeks and 5 days pregnant, with my husbands child and I am truely blessed and I would never do what I did again.
I can not even fathume loosing my child.

I believe everything happens for a reason, even the ****ty things in life. I dont talk about my abortion that much, to this day it is sad to think about and I dont brag about it but I think you needed to know that everyone has there reasons, it may be a good reason and it may not but dont judge them.

Be there for them, listen to why they are doing it and just help them because that is when they need you most. What I went through was the worst time in my life, no joke and I had one person there, my grandmother and I will never forget that.

Now that I posted my most awfull life experiance on here I am sure I will get bad feed back, but thats ok, people can talk as much as they want.
I dont get defensive, I know what I did was right, just as you know what you did was right.

ncmaureen

03-04-2006, 04:16 PM

angel101700

03-04-2006, 06:32 PM

Well you know what I am against abortion, but in certain circumstances I can understand. I have been there. I was also 16 and I was kidnapped and raped and knew that I had to have an abortion or else the child would remaind me ot the horror I went through. But I never could of imagined the horror of having one. I think the reason I am against it is because of the way it made me feel, like I killed a part of me. I know that in my situation I had to and that is why I am open minded in rape situations or mothers who are drug addicted or alcoholics. But can never imagine going through that because I was too stupid to take birth control or get lost in the moment if I had no issues with drugs or alcohol or mental issues that would effect the baby.

That is my story and I hold strong on the fact that it effects the rest of your life because you never forget the pain of getting a baby sucked out of you being legal or NOT!!!

So you agree and you dont agree, I feel the same way. But you do know that birth control is not 100%. I was on it. As a matter of fact my mother was on it when she got pregnant with me.

To be honest I had two horrors to choose from, The one to abort or the one to be stuck with a man who tried to kill himself in front of me like 6 times. The horror of knowing I could loose my baby to this man and his family, the horror of knowing that as much as I loved this child no matter what I did it was going to grow up and a bad situation. The horror of seeing my child grow up with a part time dad if he didnt kill himself between now and then. The horror of growing up without me.
That would be my horror, knowing my kid is out there, with my eyes, my laugh, my street smarts.

Some people might think I took the easy road, maybe I did. I would rather put myself in a ****ty situation and have to deal with it for the rest of my life then to put my kid in a worse situation.
To me that sounds responsible, I took the ****ty path so my kid didnt have to.
I guess what they say is true a mother would do anything for her child.
I protected it even in my stomach.

See you were raped, that is an awfull thing.
But for you, you did it so you wouldnt have to be reminded of what happened in the past.
I did it to protect my future and my childs future.
See, everyone has diffrent reasons why they do it.
You were not on drugs, or addicted to anything, you said in those situations its ok.
You had the choice to give it up for adoption but you didnt.
You did what a lot of woman swear they are never going to do, it is a horror to go though so you should not judge.

I can also imagine that you are still going though pain. Not only are you dealing with the fact that you were kidnapped and raped, on top of that you aborted.
Those three things will be with you for the rest of your life just as my one thing will be with me.
The thing is that what does not kill you makes you stronger and to me it made me stronger, I got out of a bad relationship and I now hold my head up high. I am married to the best man and I am pregnant.
My unborn child taught me a few things in life. I grew up alot that day.
I would never be mean to a person who has gone through the same thing because lets face it, no matter the reason it sucks and you as a person will be harder on your self then anyone else could ever be.

ceara

03-04-2006, 09:25 PM

ncmaureen

03-05-2006, 05:56 AM

angel101700

03-05-2006, 09:41 AM

Angel, the man that did this was extremely dangerous and I also did it for that reason. I never turned him in for what he did I was scared. But in the end he ended up on death row for murdering a man (and a big part of the case and how demented this man was was that he took this mans cat and bashed his head against the wall and split the cats head open and then bashed the cat against the fish tank) pretty sick!! Until the moment he was put in jail (he was put in earlier for burning down a boy scout center and a day care center) I was scared and knew if he saw me pregnant he would never leave me alone. He came to my work without me knowing cause he bounced a check there. Before he took me he called my house telling me what I had done that day. He was a very sick man and I don't particularly care for the death penalty but when they kill that man I am gonna feel sooo relieved!!!

You are one lucky woman. God blessed you.
So I do want to add, that you were not only protectiong you past. You were also protecting your childs future. As did I.
The man I was with was sick and twisted, I never knew for sure but there was a lot of talk about him killing a homeless man in my area.
I also did not press charges on him, I was too scared. His family also presured me not to.
Something happened at 4am between us and it was very scary. For a year after we broke up I would wake up at 4 am on the dot and look out every window.
Right before I moved out of that place, I was moving stuff around in the yard in underneath a concrete slab I found a gun.
Well good luck in your life, concidering all that you have gone through, everything else should be a piece of cake.

angel101700

03-05-2006, 10:02 AM

angel, thank you for sharing you story. It just proves that no matter what others may think of your choice, it was still the right one for YOU. You would not have the GOOD life that you do today, without having made your past choices. A very good friend of mine had an abortion last year and even though she was 110% POSITIVE it was the right choice, it is not something she would ever openly share because there are too many people that would judge her very harshly for doing what was the best thing at the time. She was 49 years old, had already raised her children, her 2nd husband of less than 2 years also had adult children, between them they had 4 GRAND children and were way past the point in life where they were ready and able to raise another child. She had a tubal in her thirties and was under the impression that she was starting menopause, her husband had a vasectomy while married to his first wife. She has said, the only regret she has is that she knows her mother would be disappointed if she ever found out. Even in middle age, we still look for our parents approval.

Thank you for your kind words. The reason I shared my story is because people who get abortions are made out to be bad people. I think I am a great person. I dont do drugs, I am always there for my friends, I believe that family should be on the top of the list, and I love children.

I just made a chioce, and if people hate me for that, thats on them because if they knew me they would know it was the hardest chioce I have ever had to make in my life. They would also know while the whole thing was going on I wasnt thinking about me I was thinking about the child. I came last on that list.

I think there is such a bad taste in peoples mouth about abortion because they dont understand why or how a person could do that. Like I said in 20 years of living, I agreed it was ok for someone else but never me.
Well then I had to face the fact that it was going to be me.

I will tell you, your friend she just has to have faith that she made the right choice. For her it would have been a very high risk pregnancy.

Hopefully on day she wil have the same dream as I did and she will know it was the right chioce.

Again thank you for your kind words, I dont care if people judge me but its nice not to be judged. Also in the end for me and your friend not one person can judge us more then we have already judged ourselves.

ceara

03-05-2006, 10:32 PM

Thank you for your kind words. The reason I shared my story is because people who get abortions are made out to be bad people. I think I am a great person. I dont do drugs, I am always there for my friends, I believe that family should be on the top of the list, and I love children.

I just made a chioce, and if people hate me for that, thats on them because if they knew me they would know it was the hardest chioce I have ever had to make in my life. They would also know while the whole thing was going on I wasnt thinking about me I was thinking about the child. I came last on that list.

I think there is such a bad taste in peoples mouth about abortion because they dont understand why or how a person could do that. Like I said in 20 years of living, I agreed it was ok for someone else but never me.
Well then I had to face the fact that it was going to be me.

I will tell you, your friend she just has to have faith that she made the right choice. For her it would have been a very high risk pregnancy.

Hopefully on day she wil have the same dream as I did and she will know it was the right chioce.

Again thank you for your kind words, I dont care if people judge me but its nice not to be judged. Also in the end for me and your friend not one person can judge us more then we have already judged ourselves.

Your welcome. The majority of few people she confided in were so unsupportive. They tried to get her to reconsider because they were of the opinion that since there so many obsticles were overcome for her to even be pregnant that it was a "sign". She always kept her humor though. She always replied that yes, it's a sign. A sign thats telling me to never listen to a man that claims he's shooting blanks! But I could tell that she was deeply affected by it. Not because she thought that she was making the wrong decision, but because she was hurt by the fact that her friends would be so unsupportive of her.

Abortion is a LEGAL medical procedure. I can't stand it when everyone tries to make it a MORAL issue. No where in the bilble does it say "Thou shalt not have an abortion". They try to claim that it's a sin to intentionally end a life in the eyes of god. But if that were true, wouldn't every woman in the world be committing a sin when they give birth to a child? Death is the result of being born 100% of the time. Everyone knows that. So when a woman gives birth to a child, she knows for a FACT that child WILL die at some point. So ultimately, the mother having the child is intentionally killing that child due to the fact that the child is going to die. The child would never die had mom not given birth to it. Which means she is guilty of intentioanlly ending that child's life.

angel101700

03-06-2006, 01:30 PM

Your welcome. The majority of few people she confided in were so unsupportive. They tried to get her to reconsider because they were of the opinion that since there so many obsticles were overcome for her to even be pregnant that it was a "sign". She always kept her humor though. She always replied that yes, it's a sign. A sign thats telling me to never listen to a man that claims he's shooting blanks! But I could tell that she was deeply affected by it. Not because she thought that she was making the wrong decision, but because she was hurt by the fact that her friends would be so unsupportive of her.

Abortion is a LEGAL medical procedure. I can't stand it when everyone tries to make it a MORAL issue. No where in the bilble does it say "Thou shalt not have an abortion". They try to claim that it's a sin to intentionally end a life in the eyes of god. But if that were true, wouldn't every woman in the world be committing a sin when they give birth to a child? Death is the result of being born 100% of the time. Everyone knows that. So when a woman gives birth to a child, she knows for a FACT that child WILL die at some point. So ultimately, the mother having the child is intentionally killing that child due to the fact that the child is going to die. The child would never die had mom not given birth to it. Which means she is guilty of intentioanlly ending that child's life.

I agree with you. Its funny I know a lot about god, I became cathlic to marry my husband.
There are a ton of people who say abortion is agaisnt god, at the same time they are ok with birth control. Well if you are a true believer in god and a true cathlic then birth control should be out of the question. The reason why is because the cathlics say it is preventing life.

Now here is what I think is funny. We were all put on this earth, and it is not OK to sin, but if you do, all you have to do is ask for forgiveness and it will be OK.
So what they are saying is that we all make mistakes, big or small, in the end if you believe in god and ask for his forgiveness it will happen.
When I became cathlic, I asked for forgiveness, and if I mess up again in any situation I will ask again.

Morals, everyone has diffrent morals, we all have diffrent faiths, Not one person is going to agree what is right and wrong and no one can tell you what is right and wrong, that is for you to decide. If that were the case, there would be the same faith for everyone and the same rules in life.

In the end, the higher up, who ever it is that you believe in has made us all diffrent and I think the reason is to let all man kind know it is OK to see what and except what other people do in life. I think that is our lesson, as you and I can both see people are so stuck on what they believe that they cant except what someone else is doing or what someone else belives in and that is sad.
The whole world is made up of so much to see and to take in and people sit on the side lines thinking that, that other person is wrong.
When what we should be doing is haveing an open mind and an open heart to everyone for who they are not for what they think.

mommyof4

03-06-2006, 02:24 PM

angel101700

03-06-2006, 02:56 PM

How in the world did this go from a person asking about terminating his parental rights to a debate about abortion to a religious sermon? I don't believe this is the appropriate forum. Did anyone ever answer this person's original question???? Oh, wait, Love It Hate It did.

PS: Not all Christians are Catholic. Catholics are not the only Christians.
Now can we please end this debate???? :eek:

First, I was the one to reply to his post in the first place, Then it changed over. I also had the same question as you and said that this had nothing to do with the mans post. Then someone wrote that this post is open now, the man never replied and good luck to all who want to stay in it.

As far as I can tell from your post, My post just proved my point!!!!!!!!
Two people were having a conversation and you jump in about::::::

Not all Christians are Catholic. Catholics are not the only Christians

So what?????????? It doesnt matter and if you didnt like what we had to say then you had 2 chioces, to put your input in like everyone else or not say anything about it at all.
At the end of this post, before you decided to jump in there was no debate, we were now just talking. Being open to what is going on in the world reguarless if we like it or not. I wouldnt call that a debate.

mommyof4

03-06-2006, 04:33 PM

angel101700

03-06-2006, 07:45 PM

Really??? Wow, what an argumentative "discussion". You were not the first to respond, you were the first to lecture. Love it hate it gave the advice he was seeking. I did not just "jump in". Look at the 1st page. I supported one of YOUR posts. And how does my post prove anything to you? I never stated my position in any way, shape or form. Just wondered how this became an abortion "discussion" and then a religious sermon. By not addressing those questions, you have proven the point that you think that only your opinion matters. For your information, I am pro choice, not for me, but I don't feel I have any business telling other women what to do with their bodies. I don't like abortion, but sometimes it is a necessary evil. Fortunately, I have never been in a position to have to make that choice. By the way, you have no idea what I believe. :)

I did not lecture, I told him the hard facts!! I put in my two cents but in the end what I said was the truth, and I told him his options. If he took anything from that, if it was good or bad, that is his chioce.
I might have said it in a more harsh way because I related to it and I feel very stong about men who abandon there children but in the end I told him he could go and what would happen if he did.

I would never say that only my opinion matters, If you read my post it says that everyone in life has diffrent views on situations and who or what they believe in is there chioce and it is sad that people wont open thier minds to those people who have diffrent beliefs.
I am a very open minded person.

Your post just came off like we had no right to talk about what we were talking about. To me that was just rude. It may not have been what the post started out as but, other people starting bringing up diffrent issues. I personal enjoyed reading what these people had to say good or bad. I also enjoyed writing back and forth with these people.

Your post proved to me that 2 people were talking about god and you had a problem with what we said or you would have never mentioned it and told us and told us to drop the debate.

In my post I said that, so you did prove it to me that people are close minded.

I by the way did respond to your questions, How did we get on the topic of abortion, and the religous sermon, I said that other people brought it up. I also said that I posted saying this had nothing to do with his post.
Someone wrote back and said the man who posted has not responded and good luck to stay in the post.
I did stay in the post, and I have read some stories that are truly amazing and it is nice when people talk about stuff that is hard issues, and the stuff they have gone through because maybe for them or even me, all of the people who had read and wrote on here feel more open since we are all strangers.

To be honest I thought I answered your questions the first time, I am sorry if I didnt, but that doesnt mean you have to be mean to me.
If you didnt think I answered your questions, you could have just said, Angel, you still did not answer my question.

We are all adults here, I am not going to fight with my computer, I am not on here to fight, I came on here to help and I hope out of all these post I helped someone to talk about hard *** issues in life.

I was helped on here by hearing some stories.

So again, if I have not answered your questions please let me know.

ceara

03-06-2006, 08:37 PM

I might have said it in a more harsh way because I related to it and I feel very stong about men who abandon there children but in the end I told him he could go and what would happen if he did.

There was nothing harsh in your anwer to him, or any of your other posts on this topic. Some people just seem to be overly sensitive and feel if your answer appears critical in any way, you are being cold-hearted and judgemental. What they gail to realize is that if the OP can't handle hearing the facts and yes, sometimes being JUDGED, by a bunch of complete strangers over the internet, they won't last 30 seconds in court facing opposing council and a judge that does not take it easy on a person just because they don't know the rules of court.

rich lather

03-24-2006, 09:03 AM

mom26

03-24-2006, 09:08 AM

I think that means any past support owed can be waived so the balance is zero if mom agrees.

rich lather

03-24-2006, 09:14 AM

I think that means any past support owed can be waived so the balance is zero if mom agrees.
oh wow...that would be an unbelievable burdon off of the pile of stress i have

xena

03-24-2006, 03:48 PM

I wanted to update this.....So i went to see a lawyer, she informed me that here in florida you cant sign away without someone adopting (like you all told me)...so I wanted to explain that since he was born i have asked her if i can spend the weekends with him but she always has another excuse (she has actually said she is afraid I will run away with him????) I think its revenge for not wanting to marry her. This is the reason i dont see him because its only at her house under her supervision, which sickens me...If i could get rights to take him on the weekends (which im far from having the money to do) maybe the child support would feel like its worth it, Im sure that i would grow to quickly love and cherish him....to those who have said all i care about is myself, thats not true im a loving caring person who has been through so much anguish, raised in a welfare household, abandoned and unprepared for the world, I made huge mistakes with credit cards and other things and am 50,000 in debt....I always planned on getting successful, then in my 30's having a baby....now i have all these problems and am making a sorry 7 dollars an hour half under the table and half on the books (the half on the books pays my support the cash pays for rent at my friends house)....someone has to be the garbage man, the career mcdonalds employee, the ditch digger etc and i refuse to live like that I want a good job using my brain and making a nice salary because it seems like it would answer all my problems....thanks for the responces...and sorry for the broken way i type

OH...one more thing can someone explain what "voluntarily set the arrears to zero" is?...if i could do that for a while i could use the money to get a car...
First, you cannot get the arrears set to zero. Both federal law and Florida law does not allow arrears to be cancelled. However, IF the CP never collected any type of public assistance, AND the CP agrees, the CP can ask that payment of the arrears not be enforced. The arrears balnce will still stay on the record but neither the state CSE nor the court will take any enforcement action on the arrears. You can talk to the CP about it and see what happens.

Paying CS isn't going to stop you from getting a better job, it may slow down your education some, but being a parent certainly doesn't stop you from getting a good job.

Is there a court order for visitation? If there is and the CP is refusing to allow visits- file a contempt motion. If there isn't a visitation order- file for one ASAP. You have the right to be a part of your child's life.
Xena :)

hillnak

03-24-2006, 05:27 PM

My ex signed over the rights to our daughter and was not required to support her at all. The lawyer made sure he knew that once he signed, that she was no more his daughter than her secretaries daughter would be. My daughter however, retained the right to inherit from him if he died until she was adopted. (which she was by my wonderful husband). Call a lawyer.

ceara

03-25-2006, 10:14 AM

First, you cannot get the arrears set to zero. Both federal law and Florida law does not allow arrears to be cancelled. However, IF the CP never collected any type of public assistance, AND the CP agrees, the CP can ask that payment of the arrears not be enforced. The arrears balnce will still stay on the record but neither the state CSE nor the court will take any enforcement action on the arrears. You can talk to the CP about it and see what happens.

Paying CS isn't going to stop you from getting a better job, it may slow down your education some, but being a parent certainly doesn't stop you from getting a good job.

Is there a court order for visitation? If there is and the CP is refusing to allow visits- file a contempt motion. If there isn't a visitation order- file for one ASAP. You have the right to be a part of your child's life.
Xena :)

That's 100% true. Arrears can ONLY be "cancelled" by paying them and SOMETIMES death. But the parent owed the money CAN submit a receipt stating that the amount was paid in full, which would do away with the arrears, although, in actuality, they were never paid.

Amelia

04-11-2006, 08:10 AM

I realize this is not a abortion forum but just gotta let MY opionion be known.Abortion is WRONG...anyway ya look at it. They seriously need to take a look at that law they made 33 yrs ago.The technology nowadays clearly shows LIFE begins wayyyyy before that baby is born. It's so hard to understand how they can spend thousands and thousands of dollars to keep these babies alive in neo-natal units when there born oh so small...yet sooo very alive,and yet they are killing the ones,the same exact size,in another part of the same damn city that the mother decided she doesnt want anymore,just because it isnt convenient for her at the time,or for whatever reason. Now come on..what the hell sense does that make!!!! There are soooo many people out there that CANNOT have children,and would just love to have that so called "unwanted" baby.There is no such thing as a "unwanted" baby,BUT there are so many selfish mothers.It takes one heck of a strong woman to carry a child for nine months and then relinquish,but the life you give to that child,and the happiness and chance for these people to have a family is so rewarding to all involved,everyone wins in the end. I know.....I been there.....with absolutely no regrets!!!! Choice...once conceived...there is none. Your choice comes before that point. Think about It.

Everyone is entitled to their opionion right- well I think yours sucks!! Have you ever killed a bug?-that's life too you know! Women should NEVER be denied the right to an abortion. I've had two with no regets! You talk about all these people that would want to love these children and that may be true, there are some good people out there that would want to love them, but that should have nothing to do with a womans personal choices about her body. There are tons of children waiting to be adopted in this country and many others. Do you think it's easy to grow up knowing that your parents didn't want you--IT'S NOT! So from birth these children are screwed up and that is something that NEVER leaves you. It's a part of who you are, it's a part of who I am. You grow up being scared to get close to anyone and your hurt and confused, no matter how good or nice and loving your adopted family may be! How many children in this world are abused and even killed "after their born" by there birth and adopted parents. That's when it's sick and wrong!! If you make the mistake of getting pregent before you're ready that shouldn't have to ruin your life and the life of a child that doesn't ask to be here in the first place! Options are available and should continue to remain that way. Everyone on here is talking about how birth contronl isn't 100% and we all know that, so when people try to take the right precautions and still become pregenant, OPTIONS MUST REMAIN OPEN!! What about rape victims--try explaining that one to your kid. Way to many people are reproducing without thinking. We all sit back and wonder what are world is coming to and yet we continue breeding like animals. I think that people (men and women) need to be more educated about having sex and children. I really think that they should have to have to go through testing and get a permit to be able to have children. People are so convinced that the way to a happy life is to work hard, get married, have children and live in the suburbs. Well, there is so much more to life then that and people need to know it and have the opportunity to experience it! KEEP ABORTION LEGAL FOR THE SAKE OF ALL WOMEN WHO WANT TO HAVE CHOICES IN THIS LIFE!!!!

shedo

04-11-2006, 10:01 AM

I wanted to update this.....So i went to see a lawyer, she informed me that here in florida you cant sign away without someone adopting (like you all told me)...so I wanted to explain that since he was born i have asked her if i can spend the weekends with him but she always has another excuse (she has actually said she is afraid I will run away with him????) I think its revenge for not wanting to marry her. This is the reason i dont see him because its only at her house under her supervision, which sickens me...If i could get rights to take him on the weekends (which im far from having the money to do) maybe the child support would feel like its worth it, Im sure that i would grow to quickly love and cherish him....to those who have said all i care about is myself, thats not true im a loving caring person who has been through so much anguish, raised in a welfare household, abandoned and unprepared for the world, I made huge mistakes with credit cards and other things and am 50,000 in debt....I always planned on getting successful, then in my 30's having a baby....now i have all these problems and am making a sorry 7 dollars an hour half under the table and half on the books (the half on the books pays my support the cash pays for rent at my friends house)....someone has to be the garbage man, the career mcdonalds employee, the ditch digger etc and i refuse to live like that I want a good job using my brain and making a nice salary because it seems like it would answer all my problems....thanks for the responces...and sorry for the broken way i type

OH...one more thing can someone explain what "voluntarily set the arrears to zero" is?...if i could do that for a while i could use the money to get a car...

I just wanted to mention - about the "supervised" visitation. It's not all bad. If you comply with it you can have some very important time with your child. Yes, she is looking over your shoulder, etc., but you'll be surprised at how quickly the "supervised" part is done away with when she realizes you aren't going to harm the child and that she can get a lot of errands done while you are taking care of the child! It's just as much of a pain for her to supervise, so if you stick it out it will be worth it. Sometimes rules/laws aren't fair to everyone, but sometimes if you just comply with them, good behavior will reward you later.

ceara

04-11-2006, 02:35 PM

Everyone is entitled to their opionion right- well I think yours sucks!! Have you ever killed a bug?-that's life too you know! Women should NEVER be denied the right to an abortion. I've had two with no regets! You talk about all these people that would want to love these children and that may be true, there are some good people out there that would want to love them, but that should have nothing to do with a womans personal choices about her body. There are tons of children waiting to be adopted in this country and many others. Do you think it's easy to grow up knowing that your parents didn't want you--IT'S NOT! So from birth these children are screwed up and that is something that NEVER leaves you. It's a part of who you are, it's a part of who I am. You grow up being scared to get close to anyone and your hurt and confused, no matter how good or nice and loving your adopted family may be! How many children in this world are abused and even killed "after their born" by there birth and adopted parents. That's when it's sick and wrong!! If you make the mistake of getting pregent before you're ready that shouldn't have to ruin your life and the life of a child that doesn't ask to be here in the first place! Options are available and should continue to remain that way. Everyone on here is talking about how birth contronl isn't 100% and we all know that, so when people try to take the right precautions and still become pregenant, OPTIONS MUST REMAIN OPEN!! What about rape victims--try explaining that one to your kid. Way to many people are reproducing without thinking. We all sit back and wonder what are world is coming to and yet we continue breeding like animals. I think that people (men and women) need to be more educated about having sex and children. I really think that they should have to have to go through testing and get a permit to be able to have children. People are so convinced that the way to a happy life is to work hard, get married, have children and live in the suburbs. Well, there is so much more to life then that and people need to know it and have the opportunity to experience it! KEEP ABORTION LEGAL FOR THE SAKE OF ALL WOMEN WHO WANT TO HAVE CHOICES IN THIS LIFE!!!!

Like you said, everyone is entitled to their opinion. But this is not the proper place to hold a moratorium on abortion, no matter which side you are on. The ONLY thing that matters HERE, is abortion is LEGAL. It is an OPTION available to every woman, like it or not. When abortion is mentioned as an option for a particular situation, the last thing any woman or teenager needs to hear is anyone's PERSONAL views on a decision that is 100% hers to make. It is a difficult enough choice to consider without having to listen to an argument on the morality of the decision.