Okay,I'm guess I'm looking for advice,knowledge,encouragement, anything to maybe give my mind a little bit peace. I go to court in 3 days concerning my 6 yr. old. I also have 3 children from a prev. marriage. My husband of 7 years is very mentally abusive and an alcoholic in denial. In his eyes the alcohol has nothing to do with anything that goes wrong. And he also would never admit to ever being in the wrong,so that pretty much left everything my fault. Well I finally said enough is enough,and I told him I wanted him to leave. He left while I was at work, rented a U-Haul. He took everything including our son. He would not let me see him at all. His family helped him get a lawyer, where as I couldn't afford one. He filed for divorce and told me I couldnt see my son until I gave him primary custody with me getting visition. All I wanted to do was see my son. He used him as a pawn to get what he wanted. With no lawyer myself, I had no choice. I signed and got him that afternoon. That was in jan.'05. In May, Me and my ex-husband decided we could try to work it out and I would have done anything for my son. Well things were worse than before.I stuck it out with him until I had enough money for a lawyer,waited for the day he would go off on me(never had to wait long for that)We got into yet one more knock down drag out fight. I left and got a PFA filed,giving me temp. custody. I have a lawyer and now so does he. The PFA hearing is for march 1, but his lawyer got a courtdate on feb.22 for a modification on the temp.order since he already has custody thru the divorce, His lawyer says that this judge can't override that judge,but my lawyer knew all this and she's the one that told me to get the PFA. I found out about all this Friday. I can't get ahold of her because it's the weekend. Does she not know what she's doing? Is his lawyer full of it? I have plenty going in my favor like the alcohol, A DUI,6 years ago he was convicted of the class C felony of abuse of a child,did 2 yr.probation,and dropped a dirty UA. But I don't have a clue whats going to happen this Wed. We divorced in Missouri but I now live in Kansas. Worried and scared

Yes honey, and order can always be changed. This is two different states. There is no order in this state yet, right? If this is correct, then the judge will know that things change. Does your son have a law guardian? If not request one. The child has rights also. Did the abuse happen in front of the kid? If so get child protective services involved. This court date will not be the one and only. The judge will make an order and have you come back in a month or two to look at the situation. He will probably order the father into councelling and/or anger management. If your attorney does not show up to court for some strange reason, (I have had that happen) tell the judge that you want to waite for your attorney before an order is made. He will adjorne it to another date. Before you go to court write down all of your thoughts. That way you won't be stumbling over your words. Good luck and my prayers are with you and your son.

alone

Yes honey, and order can always be changed. This is two different states. There is no order in this state yet, right? If this is correct, then the judge will know that things change. Does your son have a law guardian? If not request one. The child has rights also. Did the abuse happen in front of the kid? If so get child protective services involved. This court date will not be the one and only. The judge will make an order and have you come back in a month or two to look at the situation. He will probably order the father into councelling and/or anger management. If your attorney does not show up to court for some strange reason, (I have had that happen) tell the judge that you want to waite for your attorney before an order is made. He will adjorne it to another date. Before you go to court write down all of your thoughts. That way you won't be stumbling over your words. Good luck and my prayers are with you and your son.

alonethank you! I had just about admitted defeat again.I still havent got a hold my lawyer so i dont know whats going on. but if i am represented by one they can't proceed without her. right?and what is a law guardian?

thank you! I had just about admitted defeat again.I still havent got a hold my lawyer so i dont know whats going on. but if i am represented by one they can't proceed without her. right?and what is a law guardian?


No they can not proceed without her as long as you don't let them. A law guardian is a lawyer for your child. It will be court appointed and free. They basically speak for what they feel is best for the child. They will talk to all parties involved. They can be a big help. Please keep me posted on how things are going. My prayers are with you.

alone

never sign no matter what. i went through a 4 year battle to get my son back from his father because i had no lawyer. if you have a lawyer to represent you at this hearing make sure she brings up the pfa order or do what my lawyer did and get another court hearing dated after the pfa order. there is a parent custodial law that do state only the original state can modify the order, ask a lawyer. stick it out until you have custody. they look after the best interest of the child...you have a job, who watches the kids while you are at work.....other children, friends... the child is attached to...they are not going to take him away from his siblings and the courts see the mother as to whom the child should be with unless on drugs or unfit. You'll get him.......post what happend at court

never sign no matter what. i went through a 4 year battle to get my son back from his father because i had no lawyer. if you have a lawyer to represent you at this hearing make sure she brings up the pfa order or do what my lawyer did and get another court hearing dated after the pfa order. there is a parent custodial law that do state only the original state can modify the order, ask a lawyer. stick it out until you have custody. they look after the best interest of the child...you have a job, who watches the kids while you are at work.....other children, friends... the child is attached to...they are not going to take him away from his siblings and the courts see the mother as to whom the child should be with unless on drugs or unfit. You'll get him.......post what happend at court
I wish I would have known then,that I didn't have to sign them,but my kids are my world and i missed him.Wow! 4 years is a long time, I sure hope It goes a little easier. I rent my own house,I have a decent job that pays my bills, I havent been in any trouble w/ the law.He was living in the basement of his parents house while we were seperated.hopefully I can make everything right again.Do I ask the judge about the law guardian or ask my lawyer?Thanks again,everybody. I feel better now like, i'm not totally in the dark and have a few more options.

I wish I would have known then,that I didn't have to sign them,but my kids are my world and i missed him.Wow! 4 years is a long time, I sure hope It goes a little easier. I rent my own house,I have a decent job that pays my bills, I havent been in any trouble w/ the law.He was living in the basement of his parents house while we were seperated.hopefully I can make everything right again.Do I ask the judge about the law guardian or ask my lawyer?Thanks again,everybody. I feel better now like, i'm not totally in the dark and have a few more options.


You can ask the judge or you can talk to your lawyer about it and she can request a law guardian. I would talk to her. She could probably recomend a good law guardian. Good luck honey.

alone

You can ask the judge or you can talk to your lawyer about it and she can request a law guardian. I would talk to her. She could probably recomend a good law guardian. Good luck honey.

aloneI finally got a hold of my lawyer today concerning the courtdate that my ex's lawyer set up for tomorrow.I was so worried and frantic over this and she said that there was no need for me to be there. She said she would make an appearance by phone.And that it wasn't about the custody or the pfa order, it was just concerning jurisdiction.WELL, it would have been nice of her to let me know a little sooner but whatever, I am just happy for now to know I don't have to go to court by myself and she made it sound like it wasn't a big deal.I hope I don't get a bad surprise tomorrow.And I am also going to ask her about the guardian tomorrow(assuming she calls and lets me know what happened at court)because that sounds like a very good thing.Thanks for all the input.I will keep you updated,I'm sure I'll need more advice as this thing goes on. :)