My husband has custody of his estranged daughter (my stepdaughter) since 12/01/05. The mother willingly signed over permanent & full custody in order to keep her out of the foster care system. The child was taken out of her home because of abuse & neglect charges filed by NJDYFS (Div Youth & Family).

The custody order specifically states:
We the undersigned do hereby consent to the entry of an order:
That the custody of the following children (daughter) be awarded to (father) provided, however, that, (mother), shall hae the following visitation: as can be arranged between the parties, although, it is emphasized that plaintiff (father) must facilitate and encourage continuing contact between (child) and her mother. It is signed by the mother, father, and judge (same one who heard the NJ vs. Mother case). It is further noted by hand at the bottom "It is noted that under the UCCJEA, NJ maintains continuing exclusive jurisdiction over this custody matter.

It also states in the order to show cause on the NJ vs. Mom case under visitation: Defendant(s) are entitled to the following visitation: (mother) to be arranged and supervised by the DYFS and/or (father). There are no specifics as to how this facilitation and encouragement is to occur. It does not set limitations/restrictions on supervision - whether or not it includes phone calls and written correspondence.

Her mother has filed a modification hearing (scheduled on 2/22/06.) The mother is supposed to return to court on 2/22/06 before the same judge who heard the original motion, to show cause in her abuse case and who signed the custody order. This is the same judge scheduled to hear the modification case as well.

My questions:

1. Can we have this dismissed based on false information? If so, how/what do we do?
She signed 4 different pages each which state: Certification (Rule 1:4-4(b)) I certify that the foregoing statements made by me are true. I am aware that if any of the foregoing statements made by me are wilfully false, I am subject to punishment.

Just about all of her statements are false, including her current address, her income, and her reasons for requesting custody. She is claiming among other things that we are restricting her communication with her daughter, which is not true since she has called here 42 times in the past 18 days alone. This doesn't include the calls her daughter has made outgoing to her or the communication outside of the house from her friend's cell phones, text messages, etc. that we recently found out about.

2. How do we go about reporting her false information on this order under the certification rule?

3. What constitues harassment?
During December, her mother had called one night (while we were out) in a span of 20 minutes and left 5 messages accusing us of screening our calls, not allowing her to talk to her daughter, threatened us with filing for custody, etc., she called the police the next day through the 911 system and had a policeman come out to the house. She calls more than 2 times a day - in december my stepdaughter had asked her to call every other day so that they'd have something new to talk about, but she kept on calling. In January, she filed for modification of custody knowing that we cannot afford an attorney or the expense to travel back to NJ to appear. All of this on top of the multiple calls everyday to her daughter who has repeatedly requested of her not to call so often and who went so far as to inform my family one afternoon "If my mom calls, tell her I'm not here" just to avoid having to speak to her. The mother had apparently been speaking badly of us in front of her 8 year old son, who on several occassions said something to my stepdaughter who replied "Don't talk like that. I don't say those kinds of things about your father or family" and then proceeded to hang up on him and was upset for quite awhile after. She also recently was heard making comments about my children being so intelligent that they can't even control themselves and other comments about us being low/no class and her daughter having the example to aspire to be able to make a car payment when she is older. She also made several other comments about people listening in on her phone calls, derogatory comments and just having a snide attitude with regards to us.

4. Can anything be done about the negligence or willful omission of court papers/forms when he is being served?
We were not provided with the request forms for a telephonic hearing (my husband called the clerk listed and she stated that the forms should have been included with the order). This is the 2nd time my husband has not been provided with the correct paperwork from the court - the first time, he was listed as a defendant on the original charges against the mother and not provided with a request for court appointed attorney, and when he got to NJ and requested one, they told him he didn't need one and was essentially denied counsel.

5. How can I subpoena the records of the call that she made in December through the 911 service? I would like to have the allegations/accusations she made against us for our records as well as the statement of the officer who came out on the call and observed my stepdaughter.

6. How can I subpoena my phone records to show all of the incomming calls that the mother has made (I only started writing down my caller id at the end of January after we got the modification order)?

7. Is there any way that we can get a lawyer to represent us? My husband has gone to the legal aid office and was told that they only handle immigrant cases.

8. Is full disclosure required in this type of case?
We have reason to believe that my stepdaughter has been in personal and direct contact with the Judge hearing this case (she has his name, address and personal phone number) and it was done behind our back and without our prior knowledge.


We are running out of time for this case and I am begining to feel like we will be taken advantage of unless we can do something/get some legal help.

I can provide much more information if needed, but I thought I needed to ask my questions as simply as possible. Thank you!
AJ

My questions:

1. Can we have this dismissed based on false information? If so, how/what do we do?
She signed 4 different pages each which state: Certification (Rule 1:4-4(b)) I certify that the foregoing statements made by me are true. I am aware that if any of the foregoing statements made by me are wilfully false, I am subject to punishment.

Just about all of her statements are false, including her current address, her income, and her reasons for requesting custody. She is claiming among other things that we are restricting her communication with her daughter, which is not true since she has called here 42 times in the past 18 days alone. This doesn't include the calls her daughter has made outgoing to her or the communication outside of the house from her friend's cell phones, text messages, etc. that we recently found out about.

You'll need to bring it up to the judge. If you can prove she is lying the judge could throw it out. If you can't afford to go for the hearing and can't afford an attorney to go in your place, call the court and ask for a telephonic appearence.

2. How do we go about reporting her false information on this order under the certification rule?

Again, the judge would be the one to handle this if you can prove she's lying.

3. What constitues harassment?
During December, her mother had called one night (while we were out) in a span of 20 minutes and left 5 messages accusing us of screening our calls, not allowing her to talk to her daughter, threatened us with filing for custody, etc., she called the police the next day through the 911 system and had a policeman come out to the house. She calls more than 2 times a day - in december my stepdaughter had asked her to call every other day so that they'd have something new to talk about, but she kept on calling. In January, she filed for modification of custody knowing that we cannot afford an attorney or the expense to travel back to NJ to appear. All of this on top of the multiple calls everyday to her daughter who has repeatedly requested of her not to call so often and who went so far as to inform my family one afternoon "If my mom calls, tell her I'm not here" just to avoid having to speak to her. The mother had apparently been speaking badly of us in front of her 8 year old son, who on several occassions said something to my stepdaughter who replied "Don't talk like that. I don't say those kinds of things about your father or family" and then proceeded to hang up on him and was upset for quite awhile after. She also recently was heard making comments about my children being so intelligent that they can't even control themselves and other comments about us being low/no class and her daughter having the example to aspire to be able to make a car payment when she is older. She also made several other comments about people listening in on her phone calls, derogatory comments and just having a snide attitude with regards to us.

Even though I would agree that this is harassment, it could be seen as mom just wants to stay in contact with the child. You can call the police and file a complaint, but at most all they would do is call her and tell her about the complaint and ask her to stop.

4. Can anything be done about the negligence or willful omission of court papers/forms when he is being served?
We were not provided with the request forms for a telephonic hearing (my husband called the clerk listed and she stated that the forms should have been included with the order). This is the 2nd time my husband has not been provided with the correct paperwork from the court - the first time, he was listed as a defendant on the original charges against the mother and not provided with a request for court appointed attorney, and when he got to NJ and requested one, they told him he didn't need one and was essentially denied counsel.

That would depend on the source of the papers. Who is omitting the pages, the court or mom?

5. How can I subpoena the records of the call that she made in December through the 911 service? I would like to have the allegations/accusations she made against us for our records as well as the statement of the officer who came out on the call and observed my stepdaughter.

Go to the police station and see if a report was filed. If it was ask for a copy. There may be a minimal fee. Also, ask if they will provide a tape or transcript of the 911 call.

6. How can I subpoena my phone records to show all of the incomming calls that the mother has made (I only started writing down my caller id at the end of January after we got the modification order)?

Have you asked the phone company directly to see if it is even possible? Call them and request a trace be put on your phone. Then you will be assured of a paper trail if she continues.

7. Is there any way that we can get a lawyer to represent us? My husband has gone to the legal aid office and was told that they only handle immigrant cases.

Call legal aid on NJ and see if they can assist. If not, you can call around and try to find a lawyer that may take a reduced fee or allow you to make payments.

8. Is full disclosure required in this type of case?
We have reason to believe that my stepdaughter has been in personal and direct contact with the Judge hearing this case (she has his name, address and personal phone number) and it was done behind our back and without our prior knowledge.

Even if she contacted the judge, I doubt if the judge would have actually talked to her about the case. Ex Parte communications are strictly forbidden and it is rare to find a judge that would partake in one, even thought it does occassionally happen.

We are running out of time for this case and I am begining to feel like we will be taken advantage of unless we can do something/get some legal help.

I can provide much more information if needed, but I thought I needed to ask my questions as simply as possible. Thank you!
AJ

How old is the child and what are her fellings on all of this?

Thank you for your reply. The child is 16 and is torn - she misses her mom and family, but knows that she is safe here. I do not believe that she has the capacity to understand fully what is going on and what her actions (running away) have done. Essentially, these decisions were made based on her statements and now she's having second thoughts. This child has been here for about 2 1/2 months now, and for the most part is doing well in school, is making friends, is adjusting to our family/life. However, when she speaks with her mother, her entire personality changes. She becomes frustrated, angry, often emotional/crying, negative towards us and herself. Her mother told her the other day after she was telling her about being tired and wound up from a slumber party the night before, that if she wanted to know what stress was, she should put on her shoes (the mother said this to the daughter). That is not something you say to your children - especially since this child has been abused for 10 years, taking care of her younger brother, and essentially being a parent without giving birth. She needs help to work through all of this. I am going to seek counselling once everything is decided next week.

You'll need to bring it up to the judge. If you can prove she is lying the judge could throw it out. If you can't afford to go for the hearing and can't afford an attorney to go in your place, call the court and ask for a telephonic appearence.
I am going to include my supporting documents and include a letter with the request for a telephonic hearing so that he is at least made aware of the situation and the proof that we have.

Do you know where I can find the actual text of this certification rule? I have been trying to find it to see exactly what it states, but I am not having much luck finding actual laws/codes.

Even though I would agree that this is harassment, it could be seen as mom just wants to stay in contact with the child. You can call the police and file a complaint, but at most all they would do is call her and tell her about the complaint and ask her to stop.
But the mother is in contact with her child. She is creating a hostile environment in my home and causing much undue stress on me, my husband and all 4 of our children (The daughter most of all because she feels likek she's in the middle between mom & dad, which she really isn't because we are doing all of this to keep her safe).

That would depend on the source of the papers. Who is omitting the pages, the court or mom?
It is the court that is omitting the paperwork I believe since they are the one's certifying and filing. I would imagine if she has an attorney doing her paperwork, that they would be sure to include everything required to cover their own butts.

Go to the police station and see if a report was filed. If it was ask for a copy. There may be a minimal fee. Also, ask if they will provide a tape or transcript of the 911 call
We did this the afternoon of the incident. We were told because it went through the 911 system that it was confidential to protect the caller (even though she made accusations against us) and a lawyer would be the only one to gain access to this. I feel that if we are representing ourselves (Pro Se), we should have access to everything a lawyer would have to support our defense, and we should be able to get the information on how to request it.

Have you asked the phone company directly to see if it is even possible? Call them and request a trace be put on your phone. Then you will be assured of a paper trail if she continues
Yes. They told me it needs to be subpoenaed because the incomming calls are not technically mine. I also asked about the outbound calls, but because she is using a calling card, they would only show the card number she is dialing and not the people with whom she is speaking. I have been keeping a written log off my caller id since the end of January, but, since all of this started back in December and the beginning of January, I'd like to have a complete record to show that we are NOT restricting her calls. And even though her visitation is supposed to be supervised, my husband has not insisted that he listen in on their calls (but he has on only 2 occassions after the mother has filed these papers). I think if these "visitations" had been supervised all along, we would not be in the dark an we would have a better understanding of why the child gets so upset after talking to her mother. I believe that she is still verbally abusing her at times when she calls. I know that she is speaking badly of us in front of her young son (who is also removed from her care and is on supervised visitation) because he has said things to my stepdaughter to which she replied "Don't talk like that, I don't say those kinds of things about your dad and family" and she hung up on him twice in one night because he wouldn't stop. She never did state to us what he had said, but we knew it must not have been nice because she got very upset.

Does a trace simply list the calls or does it record them as well? Do you know if there is a charge for that?

Call legal aid on NJ and see if they can assist. If not, you can call around and try to find a lawyer that may take a reduced fee or allow you to make payments.
We have tried the local legal aid office to no avail. I found a few other points to checkout that might be able to at least help us defend ourselves. The court papers states: You may bring an attorney with you, although an attorney is not required. If you are unable to obtain an attorney or can not afford an attorney, you m ay contact the lawyer referral service or legal services office in the county of your residence or the county in which the action is pending or the adjacent county. If we are entitled to one, why can't we get one? The mother has a lawyer (which we believe is court appointed, even though she lied about her income, and even at the income she states $800 a week pretax) with a family of 3 (prior to the children being removed) she would still not be at 125% of the poverty level (to which we are at for a family of 4 and we are a family of 6!)

Even if she contacted the judge, I doubt if the judge would have actually talked to her about the case. Ex Parte communications are strictly forbidden and it is rare to find a judge that would partake in one, even thought it does occassionally happen.
Is her communication with the judge Ex Parte if he didn't respond? Under the disclosure rules, aren't we entitled to see any communication she may have sent? Does disclosure even apply in family law? My husband asked her if she wrote to him and she said she started to but never did. I don't believe her because she has lied to us so many times already that I have to wait for her to prove her statements are true before I believe her (I'm tired of being taken advantage of and played for a fool when I'm bending over backwards and risking my own family's health and well being to protect her from her abusive mother).


Thanks for your help. I really appreciate it.
AJ
<trying not to be too stressed in nc today :) >

I'll see if I can find a link for all the info you need for a telephonic appearence
and how to supeona record through the court.

During the hearing, when the phone calls come up, ask that mom be limited in how many times SHE can call per week and when. It is very doubtful the judge would put a restriction on how many times the child can call though.

Speak to the District or County Clerk where the papers are filed. It may just be a glitch in the system they use that they are not aware of yet.

Since you live in a different area then where the actions are taking place, it's going to cause problems with legal aid. You don't qualify where you live, because the court action is in another state. You don't qualify there because you are not a resident. Call the court coordinator and ask if they can give you a referral since you are having problems.

Disclosure only applies to information the other side may have, it doesn't apply to the judge. If the judge actually received something and still has it and feels that it is important to the case at hand, they have the choice to disclose it during the hearing. The chances are though that the judge never even received anything. If something was sent, it was probably intercepted before it even got to the judge.

If your SD has something that your husband feels is important to the case, she can sign a sworn affidavit to be sent to the court for consideration.

A trace will only record the phone numbers of incoming and outgoing calls. If a trace is requested, then you will be able to get the records without a supeona.

Forms for NJ courts (I'm not sure if these are the only forms you need, but some of them should be useful):

http://www.judiciary.state.nj.us/forms.htm

NJ site assisting people going to court pro se (Lots of great info and more useful forms):

http://www.judiciary.state.nj.us/prose/index.htm

I've personally never used this site, but I have heard that it is one of the BEST resources when you are going to court pro se from many different people:

http://www.deltabravo.net/cgi-bin/resource.cgi?state=nj

If you can't find any of the thing you need, let me know and I'll see what else I can find.

Thanks for the links. I will check them out for sure. We may have won the battle, but the war is ongoing.


Well, we had the telephonic hearing, only because my husband called the clerk, tried to fax the written request to them, couldn't get through to the fax machine, called them back and someone (an angel) was nice enough to put a note in the case that we were trying to request one. :)

It's a terrible system, by the way. With all the technology, you'd think you'd be able to hear the conversation at least! :confused:

It turns out that my stepdaughter DID in fact write to the judge and in that letter she recanted all of her abuse statements against her mother. :( This woman has brainwashed and manipulated this child into doing this. My SD changes her mind more often than the wind blows. There is a history of this going on with all of the charges that were brought against her, they were either unsubstantiated upon social worker interview or recanted by the child. She is afraid of her mother and will do whatever she tells her to because that's how she's been living for 16 years. I really feel bad for her that her mother is using her like this.


Anyhow, I sent up all supporting information, written request for telephonic hearing (per clerks directions) our statement to the charges, etc. Sent it Express Mail, they got it 2/21/06 at 9am - the judge still has not seen it as of today. :mad: I'm so furious - had he had that information before the hearing, he might never have heard the case because she lied on her forms, and her allegations are unsubstanciated, well defended and documented on our side.


Anyway, based on what my husband told him was in the paperwork, especially our phone log (mom called 42 times in 18 days alone!), why he has rules (we have 4 children now - no phone after 8pm, homework first, no calls at dinner time etc.) the judge felt that they were not unreasonable and restricting. He is going to order individual counceling and family counceling as part of the custody order, as well which I suggested early on.

The judge said that we may be brought back into the child abuse litigation against the mother that started this (we/he was released upon the first hearing when he was awarded custody) but they said they might need to put him back on to allow DYFS to come to our house to visit with my stepdaughter? Does that sound right - is that legal for them to do? I don't want to get blown away and find out the reason they're putting us back on is because my SD is alleging abuse or something here. We have never had any issues with DYFS before. I do have emotional problems, which are diagnosed and documented, but untreatable due to my lack of insurance. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise - yeah, I need to think about it that way - this will help me to get the treatments that I need and will help my family too.

In anycase, I want to thank everyone here. Your support, even if it's just a "hang in there" is sooooooo appreciated. I really don't think I could have had the knowledge and direction to do all that I did to document and contest her order without your help and legal references.




I have one other question, where can I find out what UCCJEA means? The judge used it in the original order as the rules for NJ maintaining jurisdiction over the custody order. (He wrote "Under UCCJEA.....)



You guys rock and I'm forever greatful to the advise you give to those who might not otherwise have a means to obtain it.

Sincerely,
AJ
<stressing just a little bit less today in NC>

UCCJEA stands for Uniform Child Custody Juristiction and Enforcement Act. The explanation is at www.bellaonline.com/articles/art23082.asp

Thanks for the link. That's a cool site too!

"The UCCJEA is a uniform state law that all states can adopt to deter interstate parental kidnapping. The UCCJEA govern state courts jurisdiction to make and modify child-custody determination. The Act requires that State courts enforce child-custody and visitation made by sister States."

Is this applicable? Is NC a sister state of NJ or is that just immediately surrounding states?

The following are points within the UCCJEA:
Preserves exclusive, continuing jurisdiction in the decree state
Provides procedures for enforcement of interstate custody and visitation determination
Creates registration process for interstate custody determination

So, I'm not sure I follow why the judge did this. Simply because she had resided with her mother for the previous 16 years? Or did he fear that my husband would "kidnap her" (only in the sense that he'd refuse to give up physical custody) if the order was revoked or modified?

What is this registration process? We have not been contacted by anyone in NC about this. We were not told by anyone in NJ to contact NC about the custody either.

To petition for custody and/or visitation a parent has five jurisdictional bases:
Home state: state where child had lived with (acting) parent for six months; has priority
Emergency: in cases of child abuse and/or domestic violence

Based on the Home State / Emergency rules - can we petition for new venue after 6 months and/or when the mother's child abuse cases are closed?
Aren't most cases presided by the courts of the custodial parent?

My husband is listed as the plaintiff on the custody order, not the defendant, does that matter? Shouldn't he, as the plaintiff have jurisdiction? Is there anyway to have a joint jurisdiction to protect both of us?

The mother has filed for new venue on the grounds that she now resides in a different county. Not really sure what the purpose is since it's only a 20-30 minute ride from the current county. We did it the 4 days we were up there because there was no place for us to stay in the hearing county.



I'd still like to hear some feedback about being brought back into the abuse litigation and the legalities of that. I mean, I want to be informed of the status of her case, since that directly relates to whether or not she is able to obtain custody of her daughter again.


Thanks for the info.
AJ



PS - what are the rules governing the custody hearing? The mother's case with NJDYFS was heard before ours. The DYFS people and her lawyer (for the abuse case) was still in the courtroom during our hearing. I believe this person is helping her (or at least providing her with legal advice without directly representing her in court) since he was the only person against us having custody in the first place. I was never permitted to be involved even though I am married to the plaintiff and this affects my life as well. I can understand why DYFS would be there since they were instrumental in finding my husband and are the ones who basically placed her with us.

Thanks for the link. That's a cool site too!

"The UCCJEA is a uniform state law that all states can adopt to deter interstate parental kidnapping. The UCCJEA govern state courts jurisdiction to make and modify child-custody determination. The Act requires that State courts enforce child-custody and visitation made by sister States."

Is this applicable? Is NC a sister state of NJ or is that just immediately surrounding states?


The following are points within the UCCJEA:
Preserves exclusive, continuing jurisdiction in the decree state
Provides procedures for enforcement of interstate custody and visitation determination
Creates registration process for interstate custody determination

So, I'm not sure I follow why the judge did this. Simply because she had resided with her mother for the previous 16 years? Or did he fear that my husband would "kidnap her" (only in the sense that he'd refuse to give up physical custody) if the order was revoked or modified?

More rhen likely UCCJEA was brought into the matter because the judge wants to insure that case remains, at least for the time being, in the current jurisdiction. Since there is still an ongoing open case in front of the court now, it is easier and faster to take care of that matter, once this case is finally closed by a new final judgement.

Even if jurisdiction were moved, the new court is still obligated to uphold the current agreement and the laws of the original state instead of applying the guidelines for the new state

What is this registration process? We have not been contacted by anyone in NC about this. We were not told by anyone in NJ to contact NC about the custody either.

To petition for custody and/or visitation a parent has five jurisdictional bases:
Home state: state where child had lived with (acting) parent for six months; has priority
Emergency: in cases of child abuse and/or domestic violence

Based on the Home State / Emergency rules - can we petition for new venue after 6 months and/or when the mother's child abuse cases are closed?
Aren't most cases presided by the courts of the custodial parent?

My husband is listed as the plaintiff on the custody order, not the defendant, does that matter? Shouldn't he, as the plaintiff have jurisdiction? Is there anyway to have a joint jurisdiction to protect both of us?

The mother has filed for new venue on the grounds that she now resides in a different county. Not really sure what the purpose is since it's only a 20-30 minute ride from the current county. We did it the 4 days we were up there because there was no place for us to stay in the hearing county.



I'd still like to hear some feedback about being brought back into the abuse litigation and the legalities of that. I mean, I want to be informed of the status of her case, since that directly relates to whether or not she is able to obtain custody of her daughter again.


Thanks for the info.
AJ



PS - what are the rules governing the custody hearing? The mother's case with NJDYFS was heard before ours. The DYFS people and her lawyer (for the abuse case) was still in the courtroom during our hearing. I believe this person is helping her (or at least providing her with legal advice without directly representing her in court) since he was the only person against us having custody in the first place. I was never permitted to be involved even though I am married to the plaintiff and this affects my life as well. I can understand why DYFS would be there since they were instrumental in finding my husband and are the ones who basically placed her with us.

Once the child has established legal residency you can request a change of venue. In order to do so you have to get the original court to okay it AND agreement from the NEW state saying they will accept the case. If mom is requesting a COV to her county, your husband needs to file to have the case moved to his state. Then the judge would decide to either leave it alone or grant the COV. If he does grant it, dad should have a better chance of winning because that is where the child lives. It one of those things that is totally up to the judge.

During a closed hearing, the only people allowed in the courtroom are the parties naed in the action (mom & dad) and officers of the court (lawyers and state agency employees). Even though the outcome of the case AFFECTS you, you are not actually INVOLVED at all.

hi

I have a little bit of a difference of opinion.

I would contest the change of venue on the basis that the judge and the county youth services department are familiar with the situation and that the case should continue to be heard in that county.\

Now the reasons i think that you should do this instead of asking for a change of venue to your state is that it would not likely be granted at this time because your daughter has not lived with you for more than 6 months at this time.

It is definitely in the best interest of the child that the case stays where it is for the time being. The abuse has obviously been (founded) and the mother is listed as the perpetrator.

Change of county is often used as a ploy to get another judge to hear the case and to inconvenience the county youth or child services department to either have to transfer the case and then you have people that are unfamiliar with the circumstances and everything involved.

Once your daughter has lived with you for a substantial amount of time and her grades are good Perhaps some counseling too, and she has adjusted to her new surroundings i think that she will come around.

You do realize that in NJ the NCP owes child support till the child graduates college. if they start right after high school. would you not rather be on the recieving end rather than the paying end of that?????

Even if the case is ultimately transferred to NC even 2 years from now the NJ rules for emancipation will still apply.

good luck

rini

My stepdaughter is settling in, making friends, and was even delighted to not have to return to her mother in NJ. I think this is the first time in a long time that she is allowed to just be.... mature if she is feeling mature, goofy if she's feeling goofy, babyish if she is needed support or having a bad day... she's really just figuring out who she is and trying to enjoy her youth before it's gone. Apparently, she has been playing "mommy" to her little brother pretty much since he was born (she was about 6 1/2 at that time) and was always expected to act grown up and not behave like a child.

She is also finding her feet now in her independence from her mom and able to tell her when her mother is crossing the line with her. She is more verbal now with her mom as well, not fearing a physical reprecussion for her comments (not that she's being a smarta$$ or anything like that, she just feels free now to tell her mom what she's feeling and thinking).

The change of venue was granted to the new county, and we will have a review on 4/28/06. I still have not heard anything about the DYFS case and will probably find out minutes before the hearing or two weeks afterward that we were in violation of something or other (we got the notice of change of venue review before we ever got the revised custody order [revised to include counselling] so needless to say, we were a little confused)


So, that's the update for now. I'm not sure about the NJ child support laws, just NC. The mom never filed for support from my husband so he is not responsible for paying anything out in this case. I am the one listed as case head on the medicaid plan, and that is why I am the one who actually had to file the child support request. I'm also not sure why the last poster mentioned the emancipation law either, unless I missed something in one of my other posts.

I will be back as needed to get info for ongoing hearings and stuff... so far I think mom is realizing that this is best for all of them right now. Mom gets a much needed break, the kids get to learn to be independent and figure out who they are, and they're all free to let absence make the heart grow fonder. It's true how we don't usually appreciate what we have until it's gone, so now maybe MOM will grow up and realize what she's done and be a responsible adult about it.

Have a good weekend!!
AJ