Hi! My fiance "J" paid a lawyer $750 for his ex-girlfriends new hubby to adopt J's daughter. J has only seen his daughter about 2 hours since she was born 8 years ago!! The most recent visit, after about 4 years, was at a park where his daughter asked him to give up his rights so she could change her last name. She doesnt have J's last name, but he has to approve the change so the mother can procede. He sent the mother $500 through CS and she said she would pay the lawyer the other $250 and take her marriage cert and the childs birth cert to him so he could start paperwork. She spent it. So we went to court a few days ago and the "judge" ordered him to get a job on the books within 30 days or they would issue an arrest warrant. (Currently he is working for his uncle under the table) the court cant know that. He is $400 in arrears. He is paying $120 a week because the "judge" raised it from $91 twice now in two months! This is New Jersey for ya! Can he terminate his parental rights without her signing anything? He's great with everyone elses kids, I guess he just doesnt want to see his daughter! Please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!What do we do? New Jersey :(

Hi! My fiance "J" paid a lawyer $750 for his ex-girlfriends new hubby to adopt J's daughter. J has only seen his daughter about 2 hours since she was born 8 years ago!! The most recent visit, after about 4 years, was at a park where his daughter asked him to give up his rights so she could change her last name. She doesnt have J's last name, but he has to approve the change so the mother can procede. He sent the mother $500 through CS and she said she would pay the lawyer the other $250 and take her marriage cert and the childs birth cert to him so he could start paperwork. She spent it. So we went to court a few days ago and the "judge" ordered him to get a job on the books within 30 days or they would issue an arrest warrant. (Currently he is working for his uncle under the table) the court cant know that. He is $400 in arrears. He is paying $120 a week because the "judge" raised it from $91 twice now in two months! This is New Jersey for ya! Can he terminate his parental rights without her signing anything? He's great with everyone elses kids, I guess he just doesnt want to see his daughter! Please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!What do we do? New Jersey :(

No he can't voluntarily give up his parental rights unless the child is adopted by a stepparent.

I don't know if he has anythign in writing with the mother- sounds like maybe she lied to get some money. Who knows? He needs to get her in writing or before the court say that she is agreeable to terminating his parental rights. The court may allow it or may not.

If this adoption thing is gonna free up his money then do it! . I mean he has no attachment to the kid...it's sad because I think as a father he really would wanna have his kid with him, but with all the money that the stupis $ss court system want fathers to pay it's hard to live! This is an out for him. Do it as quick as possible . Maybe somewhere down the line when his daughter grow up she will understand that daddy really wanted her ,but the court system laws would have ruined his life so he had to make a choice! The kid is not his only responsibilty .

Tamal