Colorado Resident. I am a single mother of two boys, 13 & 11, both with different fathers. My oldest son will be 14 in November of this year, his father was given custody by my own fault when i was 21 and my son was 3. I was young, immature and confused. I thought at the time i was doing the best thing for my son. Since then (i am almost 32) i have maintained consistent employment and am a responsible parent to both kids. The problem is that i've watched my son be raised by his father's mother for the past 11 years. His father moves in and out of his mother's house, always leaving my son behind to live with grandma. In the past few years my son has told me the negative things his father and grandmother have said about me and my family. I have known my son's father since i was 15, i remember the countless nights he spent at my house crying because his mother and father made him feel worthless. I want my son back, he wants to live with me and his brother. We have a loving and close relationship. I dont believe he gets the love and attention he needs from his father, the only time his dad gets involved is when he's in trouble or to tell him he's done something wrong, i never hear any praise let alone hear his father or grandmother say i love you to him. I see grandma starting to direct the same negative, hurtful behavior towards my son that she directed towards her own son when he and i were dating years ago and i cannot stand for this, it has gone on long enough and i have always felt as though there was nothing i could do about it. His father and i have always been civil, something i was always grateful for as it alleviated a lot of pressure. Child support was ordered when he was given custody however he never enforced it so i never paid it as i never forced it on him for the 3yrs my son was with me. I have always paid for all his clothes, sports activities, school necessaties, etc, anything he needed i provided. I'm afraid that if i pursue a custody case this will be used against me by him even though he never wanted it in the first place. My questions are this: will the fact that my son, being 14yrs old, have any bearing on a judge's decision to overturn custody to his father? Also, will i be held liable for any back child support even if the father doesn't pursue it and i'm granted custody? I wouldn't want a dime of child support if i was awarded custody, i just want my son to be able to live in a home where he knows he is loved and cared for which isn't something he gets now. Dad and grandma have always made me feel that i have no rights which is why it's taken so long for me to pursue this. Do i stand any chance of getting him back? Help!!

Is there a court order in effect for custody, visitation and child support?
If so, what does it say regarding the above items?

Thank you for the quick response. I am truly in unfamiliar territory. In regards to the questions, i will try to answer w/o making this too long. There was a court order established for child support when his father gained custody back when i was 21. Since he was born we had always been able to handle the issue of child support outside the courts, we mutually took care of his needs, i never asked for money from him and vice verse. I'm just afraid that this will be the card he will play should we wind up in court in the near future. To be honest if anyone should request child support it should be his grandmorther however i know a court would not see it at that way. As far as visitation, there was never an order for that. We have always lived within 5 minutes of each other (aside from when his dad chose to move out and leave my son at his grandmother's house) i see my son a few times a week, more so over the last 6mos as he increasingly tries to avoid being with this dad. His dad will ground him for things, which i understand and fully support discipline however when he's grounded it seems to include being grounded from me and his brother as well. There are times my son tells me that he asks to come to my house and he flat out tells him no, he doesn't need to be around me. We've spoke many times about this and i am clear when i say that punishment, such as being grounded, can be carried out at my house as well. It's not that my son is trying to be with me because i am lenient, i most certainly am not however i believe that you don't need to strip a child of his self worth to get a point across which seems to be how his father and grandmother handle things concerning him.