Roberta
10-14-2003, 07:01 PM
http://www.omaha.com/index.php?u_np=0&u_pg=1636&u_sid=885619
Published Tuesday
October 14, 2003
Dad told not to talk to girl in Spanish
BY CINDY GONZALEZ
WORLD-HERALD STAFF WRITER
Eloy Amador wants to build a relationship with the 5-year-old daughter he just
met - but he doesn't think he should have to hide his Latino roots and
language.
Eloy Amador has been told not to speak Spanish to his daughter.
The mother, though, said the little girl defines herself as Polish. She says
Amador has made the child uneasy by pushing his ethnic food and culture on her
too quickly.
In a rare - if not unprecedented - move, a Sarpy County district judge has told
the father to avoid speaking Spanish around his daughter or face further
limitations on visitation.
"It's difficult enough to learn the English language, you know," Judge Ronald
E. Reagan told Amador. "And if you put her in a situation where people aren't
communicating in a language that she understands, that's not fair to the
child."
Some legal and sociology experts say Reagan's words reach beyond spoken
language to effectively putting a lid on a culture, and perhaps exposing bias
in the justice system.
They are watching the case with fascination, saying that increased immigration
and ethnically mixed relationships probably will force language and tradition
into courts more often.
"How awful to have to get a judge involved in the language we speak during
visitation," said Rita Melgares, a bilingual Omaha attorney specializing in
family law. "But I guess that's where we're at today."
Reagan has yet to finalize a visitation arrangement, but he offered insight
into his thinking during a Sept. 15 hearing.
Reagan noted then that the only unresolved matter was whether Amador could
"speak Hispanic" during visitations.
He went on to tell Amador that he doesn't object to instruction of the
language. "But the principal form of communication . . . better be in a
language that (the daughter) understands, that she is learning (from) the
custodial parent. That's English. OK?"
Amador: "Are you telling me I can teach it to her, but I can't speak it to
her?"
Reagan: "That's right."
Like any child visitation conflict, the parents' versions differ.
Michaela Krayneski, 26, said she isn't opposed to her daughter, Destinie, being
bilingual. Her concern is for the overall well-being of the child she raised
while the father was behind bars five years for selling drugs and possessing a
weapon.
The mother said Destinie became frightened after Amador placed her in
unfamiliar territory.
"He was making her call him 'Dad' in Spanish," Krayneski said. "She didn't want
to speak that language. It was too fast. She didn't understand. He made her eat
Spanish food. He told her that her soon-to-be father (Krayneski's fiancé) was
not her father."
Krayneski said her daughter was unaware of her other heritage. "You can't tell
she's Hispanic. The only thing is she has brown eyes. She looks just like me,
she does not look like him."
Her preference is that Amador bow out of the child's life, and she worries
about Destinie spending time around some of Amador's friends.
Despite his past troubles with the law, Amador, 30, said he is on a straight
path now. He insists that he has done nothing to put his daughter in harm's
way.
During the first three months he came to know Destinie, he said, the girl's mom
or family members were present. He has agreed to supervised visits for eight
more weeks, followed by a six-month schedule to be determined by a therapist.
"I've done everything I was supposed to," Amador said. "There's always
something more - now it's my culture?"
Amador, a Texas native who is bilingual, said he speaks both English and
Spanish around the child and hasn't forced Spanish on her. His Mexican customs
are ingrained in his life, he said, and he wants his daughter to appreciate
them.
"She is half Mexican, that's who she is, that's who she will always be," he
said. "I don't think it is something to be ashamed of."
The earlier visitation schedule was the result of a contract drawn up between
the parents, who never married, following Amador's prison release.
After the first few unsupervised visits, the mother said Destinie was not
adjusting well. The child began to see a psychologist.
The psychologist didn't report any harm from exposure to Spanish, Krayneski
said. No evidence to that effect was submitted to the court, said Krayneski's
attorney, Kelle Westland.
"We're just saying, 'Let her feel safe, let her trust you and things will
happen naturally,'" she said.
Katherine Culliton, an immigrant rights attorney with the national Mexican
American Legal Defense and Education Fund, said she'd never heard of such a
court action.
Milo Mumgaard, an attorney and executive director of the Nebraska Appleseed
Center for Law in the Public Interest, said the restriction suggests disrespect
for the dad's culture.
"It's almost preposterous that the idea that a child learning a second language
is detrimental to them," he said.
Colleen Kavan, president of the Omaha Children's Rights Council, said the
father who just met his daughter needs to slowly ease into her life. She agrees
with sending a message that the father should avoid injecting confusion.
"But how do you not be Hispanic?" she asked.
Roberta
mom to Juliette, 7, adopted from China
Published Tuesday
October 14, 2003
Dad told not to talk to girl in Spanish
BY CINDY GONZALEZ
WORLD-HERALD STAFF WRITER
Eloy Amador wants to build a relationship with the 5-year-old daughter he just
met - but he doesn't think he should have to hide his Latino roots and
language.
Eloy Amador has been told not to speak Spanish to his daughter.
The mother, though, said the little girl defines herself as Polish. She says
Amador has made the child uneasy by pushing his ethnic food and culture on her
too quickly.
In a rare - if not unprecedented - move, a Sarpy County district judge has told
the father to avoid speaking Spanish around his daughter or face further
limitations on visitation.
"It's difficult enough to learn the English language, you know," Judge Ronald
E. Reagan told Amador. "And if you put her in a situation where people aren't
communicating in a language that she understands, that's not fair to the
child."
Some legal and sociology experts say Reagan's words reach beyond spoken
language to effectively putting a lid on a culture, and perhaps exposing bias
in the justice system.
They are watching the case with fascination, saying that increased immigration
and ethnically mixed relationships probably will force language and tradition
into courts more often.
"How awful to have to get a judge involved in the language we speak during
visitation," said Rita Melgares, a bilingual Omaha attorney specializing in
family law. "But I guess that's where we're at today."
Reagan has yet to finalize a visitation arrangement, but he offered insight
into his thinking during a Sept. 15 hearing.
Reagan noted then that the only unresolved matter was whether Amador could
"speak Hispanic" during visitations.
He went on to tell Amador that he doesn't object to instruction of the
language. "But the principal form of communication . . . better be in a
language that (the daughter) understands, that she is learning (from) the
custodial parent. That's English. OK?"
Amador: "Are you telling me I can teach it to her, but I can't speak it to
her?"
Reagan: "That's right."
Like any child visitation conflict, the parents' versions differ.
Michaela Krayneski, 26, said she isn't opposed to her daughter, Destinie, being
bilingual. Her concern is for the overall well-being of the child she raised
while the father was behind bars five years for selling drugs and possessing a
weapon.
The mother said Destinie became frightened after Amador placed her in
unfamiliar territory.
"He was making her call him 'Dad' in Spanish," Krayneski said. "She didn't want
to speak that language. It was too fast. She didn't understand. He made her eat
Spanish food. He told her that her soon-to-be father (Krayneski's fiancé) was
not her father."
Krayneski said her daughter was unaware of her other heritage. "You can't tell
she's Hispanic. The only thing is she has brown eyes. She looks just like me,
she does not look like him."
Her preference is that Amador bow out of the child's life, and she worries
about Destinie spending time around some of Amador's friends.
Despite his past troubles with the law, Amador, 30, said he is on a straight
path now. He insists that he has done nothing to put his daughter in harm's
way.
During the first three months he came to know Destinie, he said, the girl's mom
or family members were present. He has agreed to supervised visits for eight
more weeks, followed by a six-month schedule to be determined by a therapist.
"I've done everything I was supposed to," Amador said. "There's always
something more - now it's my culture?"
Amador, a Texas native who is bilingual, said he speaks both English and
Spanish around the child and hasn't forced Spanish on her. His Mexican customs
are ingrained in his life, he said, and he wants his daughter to appreciate
them.
"She is half Mexican, that's who she is, that's who she will always be," he
said. "I don't think it is something to be ashamed of."
The earlier visitation schedule was the result of a contract drawn up between
the parents, who never married, following Amador's prison release.
After the first few unsupervised visits, the mother said Destinie was not
adjusting well. The child began to see a psychologist.
The psychologist didn't report any harm from exposure to Spanish, Krayneski
said. No evidence to that effect was submitted to the court, said Krayneski's
attorney, Kelle Westland.
"We're just saying, 'Let her feel safe, let her trust you and things will
happen naturally,'" she said.
Katherine Culliton, an immigrant rights attorney with the national Mexican
American Legal Defense and Education Fund, said she'd never heard of such a
court action.
Milo Mumgaard, an attorney and executive director of the Nebraska Appleseed
Center for Law in the Public Interest, said the restriction suggests disrespect
for the dad's culture.
"It's almost preposterous that the idea that a child learning a second language
is detrimental to them," he said.
Colleen Kavan, president of the Omaha Children's Rights Council, said the
father who just met his daughter needs to slowly ease into her life. She agrees
with sending a message that the father should avoid injecting confusion.
"But how do you not be Hispanic?" she asked.
Roberta
mom to Juliette, 7, adopted from China
