I am in a situation that I really need help with. Basicaly I left my husband in October 2004 I got an order of protcetion aginst him, Our divorce had already been in the courts I did not have a lawyer for the divorce he would not let me get one. His lawyer put a hold on the divorce untill the order for protection went through. From him doing this I lost everything my four children lost everything. From October 04 to January 05 My ex Husband did not pay a dime in child support. In january we went to court for it he made an aggrement to pay me 500 a week (sounds like a lot but he has his own business which he makes 1300 or more a week and he also has a two family rental unit ) I had to aggree not to ask for alimony spousal support , Any back child support for the months he didnt pay and I had to get the children medical. My daughter was born with life threatening medical conditions and he has denied her and the other three children medical. This all went through in court. Now he is bringing me back to have it modified. He has not paid a full support amount in 4 months he owes me almost 7 thousand dollars. He is only doing this to hurt me he said if I didnt make a deal with him in the child custody case things were going to get nasty and expensive.The court date for modification was january 3 2006. I showed up he did not. His lawyer came in and talked to the sectary, the sectary then came into the waiting room and told me the date had been changed :eek: . As I walked out my ex's lawyer had a big grin on his face, I just drove almost an hour in a snowstorm to get there :confused: . I am so tired of fighting this alone I dont think there is anyone out there that is thinking about the children This man has been threatening me he has made a false police report aginst me. There is so much more to all of this :mad:

a couple questions

is your divorce final

is your support agreement in writing.

rini

The divorce is final and the child support was done through the enforcement unit.He (my ex)told the judge about the aggrement but between him and I there isnt nothing in writing. I wrote to the enforcement unit in harrisburg, Pa and a lady called me friday night, She looked up my case history and she said she couldnt believe this guy was not in jail!

fallen angel

my thoughts are to ask for spousal support in addition to everything else.

even if he transferred the realty to a corportation he should have left a huge trail.

i can follow any trail and can teach you how to find the information that you need.

what county are you in?

rini in pa

Wayne county PA I moved back to NY after I got the PFA he continued to harass me he even trashed his childrens school clothes, the pa state police said there was nothing I could do but leave so I moved back to ny where my family lives, I am trying to get the custody switched over to NY. I would love to learn how follow his trail we go back to court for child support jan. 17.

fallen angel

how long have you resided in NY when was your address legally changed?

what county does he own the property in (i am assuming this is PA)

i am assuming that your support and custody orders are in PA

did you move prior to the last hearings and he did not file any objection to your move.

does he excercise any visitation?

rini

our daughter had to go to court today because her ex husband said she took his things five months ago. They were her and the childrens things. She was separated from her ex. for three years before the divorce.He gave her SOME [not all] divorce papers and told her his lawyer was for both of them - hes not going to give her money for another...just sign the papers.don't worry i'm not going to screw you over.His lawyer and him did a good job.because- guess what -he keeps the house and car,van and this christmas her ex called her just to let her know all her and the childrens personal possessions in their [his two family] a;artment.her and the children have nothing and the pa courts don't care.She and the kids moved to NY in Nov. 2004.We have given her 5,000.00 so far trying to get pa to move the child custody to NY.Last week i paid a pa ;awyer 1,500.00 to have it moved.Guess what... he gets to keep it in pa for 6 months.Pa is letting the child support go for eight months.8,000.00.She has to turn off her telephone so she has money for food.Four kids can eat you out of house and home.

Sorry I havent been on in awhile I have been very depressed. My parents have been fighting so hard for me and the children. My address legally changed in November 2004 I told my ex on Dec.23 2004 that I moved back to ny with the kids. He didnt have any objections I even told him the children were in a ny school and he went to the school for one of my sons plays. The first custody hearing was in Jan 05 almost a month after he knew that we were in ny. He still lives in wayne county pa and the support order is there, which they have done nothing to get the money from him. He owned his own business for 6 years he has brought me back 3 times to try to have the childsupport modified. We have to go back again in feb,Last week he quit the business and started working for the company that he had accounts with...he is doing the same work for less then half of what he was making. All the rest is under the table. Looks like the kids are going to be getting screwed. It really hurts when he shows up at all these court cases hes draging me to and hes wearing brand new clothes and shoes, his lawyer is bought and paid for he follows my ex around like a puppet. But he cant pay his childsupport.Jan 06 he brought me back for custody. He said he missed the kids after not seeing them for 6 months He gets every saturday for 3 hours then it turns into saturdays from 10 to 6. Before this starts he has to take and pass a drug test and he has to get mentaly eveluated ( which I have to pay for I cant affoed it but I need to protect the children) It has been almost a month he still hasnt went and gotten a drug test or eveluated. Shows how much he really missed the kids. My older kids dont even want to see him they asked me when he calls if I can pretend we are busy and not answer the phone. He never filed any objection to us moving to ny but he says he didnt know that we had moved. Everything that has been comming out of his mouth is a lie and I am so tired of trying to fight.

You may want to ask him to terminate his parental rights to the children, and you will not pursue child support and spousal support, and just move on with the kids and be free of him. This is sick to think he is going thru all of this likely because he does not want to pay you any money to care for his kids or pay you any spousal support having been married to him. I don't see this getting any better. He will lie on you to try and get the kids away from you so he does not have to pay any child support to you. The kids will get used like yoyos and apparently already are. And it will be hard to chase down monwy but if you have already gotten child support estabished that may be a problem.
You may want to call the hotline number at http://www.ndvh.org and ask for referrals for help for your kids who have been traumatized and for yourself, and to find out where you go to file charges against the father for this kind of abuse and crimes against the children. Once you can make somethign stick, get the case moved and get sole custody with him getting no visitation or only supervisied visitation, though no visitation may be appropriate if he is doing with the kids' things what you are saying.
Good luck

terminate his parental rights , but I know he never would. He see's the children as a way to continue hurting me. If he gave them up he wouldnt have nothing left to hurt me with. He doesnt care about how the things he is doing is hurting them Just last week He drug me into court again He told the children they could have the go cart that he bought for them with money that they got from a school bus accident. After I took it he called the police and told them I stole it. I have him on tape telling his son that he could have it. I could care less about the go cart but it hurt knowing how much he is hurting the children, and he doesnt even care what he is doing to the children he just wants to see me hurting, The courts said I have to return it in 3 weeks because he wants it back now or I will go to jail. My son doesnt understand why after his dad said he could have it now his dad is making him give it back. I am getting therapy for the children and I. My son told the theripist his dad told him he shot my moms dog (my moms dog did die from a gunshot wound) and he feels like it was his fault because he wasnt with his dad. Like he could have stopped him. I am terrified knowing that my ex even has a gun period, He had told me before that I was lucky he didnt own one because he felt like shooting us all. I know he would do it if he got the chance My ex would never give up his rights he will try to get the kids and use them aginst me like he has before, he doesnt care about anyone but himself. And when he doesnt get his way he goes crazy.

Just wanted to add that He said we could take the go cart 7 months ago, The children have had there go cart here for 7 months before he claimed that I had stole it. I think it is wrong that the courts are letting him get away with this.