Current Tennessee Laws concerning child support are, to say the least, are extremley unfair. My story is long and complicated.
To sum it up, my ex denied my rights to see my child for over a decade. (Moved somewhere out of state without notifing me with no contact). I was paying child support as ordered until my checks started coming back to me from the state. They said the account had been closed and there was no way to take the payments. 10 years later she comes back and gets on state aid. At that time, the state came after me with a 20,000 dollar arrearment. I tried to ask for a court appointed lawyer to help explain the pile of paper work CCS (A private mediation group contracted by the state) was wanting me to sign and also to complain of her actions. Merell Robinson (A evil and unfair woman judge) denied me a lawyer. She said I made too much money ($6.00/hr.). She also openly stated if I didn't sign the papers I would go to jail right then for 180 days and if I were to try and come back with a lawyer that she would send me to jail for 180 days.( WHAT HAPPENED TO CONSITUTIONAL RIGHTS???) So out of fear I signed. Within 6 weeks a warrant for my arrest was issued. I was incarcerated for six months. The horrible mess has continued to haunt me to this day. They suspended my driver license which made it very hard to get a job so I could pay my child support, and I had to borrow nearly $5000.00 from relatives to get them back. The loan had to come from relatives because they had reported me to the credit companies which dropped my credit score below what was needed. I finally got a job and then she moved to Virginia. I found that out because VA also started taking child support out of my check. That's two payments for the same kid. Not to mention they've kept my tax returns for years now. I went broke. Just recently, Tennesse froze my bank account ($700.00) and suspended my license again (They want another $1900.00).When I lost my license, I lost my job because it's a requirement for my position. It's sooo stupid!! They were recieving payments through a wage assigiment... as they have been plus I was carrying full blown health and dental... ALL GONE! Now I have no job, no license, no insurance, and me and my family of 5 are about to be evicted. I am trying to keep my phone and internet to help me find another job but it will be cut off soon. Is there's no help, No justice for the non-custodial parent? The answer is "NO" and it's just plain WRONG!!! There is more but enough is enough. I don't have money for a lawyer... what can I do? I've tried constant communication with the agencies involved to no avail. When I was in jail, I meet crack dealers, caught on second, third, and fourth offense, a couple even had guns when they got arrested.... I saw them all come and go before I was released. After seeing that, I decided I'd sell crack before I'd miss another payment because even if I did get caught, I'd spend less time in jail!! Folks... that is just plain ridiculouis. Don't worry.. I wouldn't actualy do it. Any advice?? Help? I want to go on National Televsion or something. These laws need revision. How in the Hell do they pretain to " What's best for the children"?

Well there are appeals since you were paying and she did not have an account open to pay into and did not know of her whereabouts, so you should have pursued the case further even if you had to hand write the appeal. I suggest you consult a local or state bar association to see about an attorney takign your case pro bono.

i know what you are talking about. I am a mother and married to a man who has a son by another woman and i think the state of tn child support is so screwed up and it only seems to be getting worse. they say one thing but do another. my husband goes to court ever 3 months and i couldnt tell you why cause there is know point in it. he now has 2 other kids and has went to get his amount he has to pay modified and they make him pay more. plus they make him go get full health insurance even though divorce papers say other wise. TN doesnt care about the father or about the relationship between the father and the child or lack of due to the mother. I think it will take alot to get things to change. And as far as getting legal help there is none. We have tried to get help to file a contempt of court on the ex over not getting his visits with his son the told us the are short on funds and yeah they might be but i believe if it was a woman calling for help it would have happened. well i quess iam done venting. oh yeah were waiting to get our tax refund and are hoping to be able to get that contempt of court.

man i know your pain im about to go to jail myself in tn. i have just ran out of money i went for mod and they raised mine too and im currently going thru another divorce to boot with another child im still fighting tho this time i havent let my child go back to her mom thru this divorce so i have her in my custody which will stop support on this one but i still got one to deal with and that one is the hard one the only thing i can say is try going thru the senate i have wrote to the senate myself about three times over this one i had joint custody robbed from me just so she could get support thanks to my own attorney . if we can get everyone invovled writing to the state in unison that we are going to stop paying that will definately get attention and tell them the non custodial parent has to live too they wont have a choice but to do something about it thet cant jail some hundreds of thousands of parents at one time they dont have the means or the space to do that i with you guy if i could help you i would this is the only way we as non custodial parents will get relief if we all band together they will have to listen see i wrote to the senate just a few minutes ago and i said nearly the same thing you said is this right by the constitution if well question that they may see we mean business

man i know your pain im about to go to jail myself in tn. i have just ran out of money i went for mod and they raised mine too and im currently going thru another divorce to boot with another child im still fighting tho this time i havent let my child go back to her mom thru this divorce so i have her in my custody which will stop support on this one but i still got one to deal with and that one is the hard one the only thing i can say is try going thru the senate i have wrote to the senate myself about three times over this one i had joint custody robbed from me just so she could get support thanks to my own attorney . if we can get everyone invovled writing to the state in unison that we are going to stop paying that will definately get attention and tell them the non custodial parent has to live too they wont have a choice but to do something about it thet cant jail some hundreds of thousands of parents at one time they dont have the means or the space to do that i with you guy if i could help you i would this is the only way we as non custodial parents will get relief if we all band together they will have to listen see i wrote to the senate just a few minutes ago and i said nearly the same thing you said is this right by the constitution if well question that they may see we mean businesswe can fight if we all stick together

Hi my name is allen.I married a girl at 19 that was two months pregnant,well I was in love and gave the child my name(we married before the baby came)We were married about two years before we were divorced.I kept my child every weekend and payed all my dues for about a year and she started to keep him away from me.I was still paying child support during this time!Not being able to see him.I ended up moving north and was able to talk to him on the phone.That was the last contact I had with him.I quit paying why not I knew he wasn't mine and she said that the real father was seeing him.So I ended back in arkansas a few years later to find out that The child support agency was taking me to court(to put me in jail)Well I got an lawyer to keep me out(All this time I was back they were taking child support from my check still not seeing the boy)My lawyer got me a dna test to prove he wasn't mine it came back 99.9 not the father.well the court dates happened and they still want me to pay back all that wasn't paid before the dna test.12,000$.I know this is long but I need for people to know.It wouldn't bother me if I knew the money went to the boy.I know that her and her husband are meth junkies and I know what the money is being used for.Last week I gave my cell phone # to a mutaul friend to give to her so we could talk about dropping the back support.I got a call from her husband screamming and cursing me.To make it all short Me and my ex are both 31 now.She has been married 4 more time has 4 kids by 4 different fathers neither of them work they live off the child support of the children.I miss and love that boy till this day like he is mine,but this women has put me through alot and I just want it to end.I don't want to buy their drugs I just want it to end.

allen,
man i feel for you brother a lot of the problem is greed now and it comes more so from the women than the state law i have found this out over and over againi go to court again on march the 14th they gonna try to put me in jail i have had court appointed counsel i feel like im probably going to jail in this court you can walk in with an atourney and still get screwed i might as well go in by myself it would be the same difference the court wants to know why you havent paid when you show them the only thing they can say is your going to jail sometimes i feel like id be better off if i was a common criminal at least id have a reason to go to jail and i would have probably been paid for services too .

allen,
man i feel for you brother a lot of the problem is greed now and it comes more so from the women than the state law i have found this out over and over againi go to court again on march the 14th they gonna try to put me in jail i have had court appointed counsel i feel like im probably going to jail in this court you can walk in with an atourney and still get screwed i might as well go in by myself it would be the same difference the court wants to know why you havent paid when you show them the only thing they can say is your going to jail sometimes i feel like id be better off if i was a common criminal at least id have a reason to go to jail and i would have probably been paid for services too . no good dead goes unpunished so dont do any

he is right "no good deed goes unpunished" how many poeple have children by a nother in this state the loundest voice get the help where do you wright to the senate or the a$$ hole hole govener. stand up and dress in batman suits and climb the court house and stuff this sucks
i'm willing to pay for my kids but i have a live to!!!!! :eek: :eek:

Domestic Relations [child support] is an out of control juggernaut. There is nothing that can be done to stop it. The system was set up that way. It does not have to go by the United States constitution. It has no governmental body to answer to. No checks and balances. It can and always does what it wants to whomever it wants. There is NO HOPE. Do not waste any time thinking that you can get things changed. The war is over and the people that have to pay have lost........period. If only half of the people, mostly men, would concentrate on warning the next generation, then things would change. When a person goes through the child support system they loose dignity, material things, money, human rights, and hope. They have no control over there own lives. I can only think of one way that is a sure fire way to help others stay in control. YOUNG MEN DO NOT GET MARRIED OR FATHER ANY CHILDREN. I have personally talked over a dozen young men out of getting married. The word is spreading. It sound drastic but...........
Most men do not realize that a marriage is a three party contract. Groom, bride, and the state the marriage took place. It's too late for me and countless millions of others. I pledge to warn every man I speak with.....maybe you should do the same................Thank you.

This is an old thread.

And as far as Child Support laws go... Everyone is required to care for their children.

I do agree however somewhat that if you feel it is unfair to have children, then you should never have sex. I don't wish to pay for the children everyone dumps on the system either.

Domestic Relations [child support] is an out of control juggernaut. There is nothing that can be done to stop it. The system was set up that way. It does not have to go by the United States constitution. It has no governmental body to answer to. No checks and balances. It can and always does what it wants to whomever it wants. There is NO HOPE. Do not waste any time thinking that you can get things changed. The war is over and the people that have to pay have lost........period. If only half of the people, mostly men, would concentrate on warning the next generation, then things would change. When a person goes through the child support system they loose dignity, material things, money, human rights, and hope. They have no control over there own lives. I can only think of one way that is a sure fire way to help others stay in control. YOUNG MEN DO NOT GET MARRIED OR FATHER ANY CHILDREN. I have personally talked over a dozen young men out of getting married. The word is spreading. It sound drastic but...........
Most men do not realize that a marriage is a three party contract. Groom, bride, and the state the marriage took place. It's too late for me and countless millions of others. I pledge to warn every man I speak with.....maybe you should do the same................Thank you.

Being married or not has nothing to do with any child support issues. In case you haven't realized this, there are ALOT of UNMARRIED parents, alot of NEVER MARRIED fathers who pay CS. So it's really stupid for you to counsel young men to not get married.

If you really want to do some good, you should counsel everyone about birth control- men and women. You should also educate yourself on the laws and help people learn what the laws are and what thier rights are. You should also check into your state's legislature's bills and help lobby for changes in the system and laws.

Posting rants on a message board doesn't do anyone any good- if you really feel so strongly- stop yer *****in and DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE PROBLEM.

Wow.......Thank you so much. Now I can sleep at night. I will also die a happy man now knowing that you have corrected my ways. What would I have ever done, you have changed my outlook and thought process.....................NOT..................B irth control uh, we all know that works. Laws, state's legislature, we all know that works too. .........I am doing somethimng about the problem. I am warning the next generation. Sorry you can't handle that. It's no secret it's in a womans best financial interest to get married, pop out a couple kids, get divorced, collect allimony or child support, hook up with a boyfriend, or get remarried.........PERIOD......
The only way a man has to protect himself is to NOT PLAY THE GAME........STAY SINGLE YOUNG MAN IT'S YOUR ONLY HOPE......Marriage is a three party CONTRACT. Just don't play the game, it's that simple. I will continue to warn men about the laws. I will continue to tell men not to get married. In fact, just today another young man [22] has decided not to get married........K I S S ......keep it simple stupid...........Thank you and have a nice day.

I sure hope that YOU are no longer breeding. There are a whole lot of children supported only by women in this world, mostly because of men just like you who feel they have no responsibility to anyone.

I'm sorry were you speaking to me.................bla...bla...bla..........
If people like you could ever get past criticizing another point of view the world would be a better place. I choose not to believe in a flawed system.....my choice. I'm sorry that upsets you to the point of attacking me personally............wait no I'm not.......GET OVER IT. My responsibility is to warn young unmarried men to stay that way......................STAY SINGLE YOUNG MAN.

I'm sorry were you speaking to me.................bla...bla...bla..........
If people like you could ever get past criticizing another point of view the world would be a better place. I choose not to believe in a flawed system.....my choice. I'm sorry that upsets you to the point of attacking me personally............wait no I'm not.......GET OVER IT. My responsibility is to warn young unmarried men to stay that way......................STAY SINGLE YOUNG MAN.

Actually, you attacked me first when you made your statements about women going after money. Go away.

FYI, it certainly isn't in any woman's best interest to rely on a man or any other person for that matter. If she wishes to form a partnership with one, then she should use her best judgement as there are always risks involved with linking yourself to another person.

I sure hope that YOU are no longer breeding. There are a whole lot of children supported only by women in this world, mostly because of men just like you who feel they have no responsibility to anyone.

demartian,
This moron isn't worth the time and trouble to post to. he's so stupid that he doesn't know and refuses to know that unmarried men (and women) are court ordered to pay CS every day. For whatever reason in his little world the ONLY way to make a baby is to get married, LOL.
Anyway, hopefully he'll go the way of most trolls- right to another site when he realizes that we won't argue with him.

Are we bonding?.......lol....... I don't want to argue with anyone. If you took the time to read my early post you would have found that I said young man do not get married or father any children......so besides all the name calling you are an advocate of an outdated institution that has over a fifty percent failure rate........I am not.............I on the other hand am an advocate of free will and choice. Warning men about unfair, bias laws aganist them........and you are not.......... gender bias aganist men in family court and undomestic relations.....Pure, simple, straight to the point..........Young man stay single..........I take it that you also are under the assumption that a man has no right to choose. That he has to get married. God forbid a man weigh all the choices and decide for himself to stay single. Keeping control of his own life..........As long as the laws in this country are so one sided a man has no choice but to stay single......what we have hear is failure to communicate.....I suggest that you open your closed mind and stop trying to get your way all the time......unlike you I refuse to sink to name calling. You are entitled to your opinion, however outdated it may be.....The tide is turning and women like you don't like it.........I only have one more thing to say.....It's for the benefit of any single man that may be reading this.........did you catch her attitude......now ask yourself......do you really want to be a part of that.................Join the movement...spread the word........STAY SINGLE YOUNG MAN......keep control of your life.

:rolleyes: Are we bonding?.......lol....... I don't want to argue with anyone. If you took the time to read my early post you would have found that I said young man do not get married or father any children......so besides all the name calling you are an advocate of an outdated institution that has over a fifty percent failure rate........I am not.............I on the other hand am an advocate of free will and choice. Warning men about unfair, bias laws aganist them........and you are not.......... gender bias aganist men in family court and undomestic relations.....Pure, simple, straight to the point..........Young man stay single..........I take it that you also are under the assumption that a man has no right to choose. That he has to get married. God forbid a man weigh all the choices and decide for himself to stay single. Keeping control of his own life..........As long as the laws in this country are so one sided a man has no choice but to stay single......what we have hear is failure to communicate.....I suggest that you open your closed mind and stop trying to get your way all the time......unlike you I refuse to sink to name calling. You are entitled to your opinion, however outdated it may be.....The tide is turning and women like you don't like it.........I only have one more thing to say.....It's for the benefit of any single man that may be reading this.........did you catch her attitude......now ask yourself......do you really want to be a part of that.................Join the movement...spread the word........STAY SINGLE YOUNG MAN......keep control of your life.

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Domestic Relations [child support] is an out of control juggernaut. There is nothing that can be done to stop it. The system was set up that way. It does not have to go by the United States constitution. It has no governmental body to answer to. No checks and balances. It can and always does what it wants to whomever it wants. There is NO HOPE. Do not waste any time thinking that you can get things changed. The war is over and the people that have to pay have lost........period. If only half of the people, mostly men, would concentrate on warning the next generation, then things would change. When a person goes through the child support system they loose dignity, material things, money, human rights, and hope. They have no control over there own lives. I can only think of one way that is a sure fire way to help others stay in control. YOUNG MEN DO NOT GET MARRIED OR FATHER ANY CHILDREN. I have personally talked over a dozen young men out of getting married. The word is spreading. It sound drastic but...........
Most men do not realize that a marriage is a three party contract. Groom, bride, and the state the marriage took place. It's too late for me and countless millions of others. I pledge to warn every man I speak with.....maybe you should do the same................Thank you.

Hmmm... perhaps you should be talking people out of getting divorced and then they would not have to worry about child support!

Hi Thanks for not calling me any names. You have more class than some other people. Yes I do agree with you. Staying married would be easier. However with the divorce rate over fifty percent now.........well I guess it's like flipping a coin in today's society..............heads you stay married tails you don't............I'm only saying that staying single is another option. When I speak with single young men many topics come up. I try to get them to plan for the future. It's common sense that we as humans need to protect ourselves. I teach or advise on education, emotional well being, plus other issues. I am dead set aganist any kind of drug use...........I tell them to be honest with others but most of all with themselves.......I warn them about manipulation, control freaks and hidden agenda's. Thank you. Have a nice day.
Stay single young man......SSYM

The only way to avoid any chance of being ordered to pay child support is to avoid conceiving a child. The only way to guarantee that no conception will occur is celibacy. Marriage or lack thereof has nothing to do with it. Oh, FYI, as for alimony...it depends on the state. TX does NOT have alimony, and for those states that do, it is just as possible for the wife to be ordered to pay alimony as it is for the husband. It is an economic formula, not a gender based formula. Perhaps you should tell young men that if they do not want to father a child, they should not have sex. And I fail to see the coorelation between the divorce rate and women's faults. Last I checked, there were two people that were equally responsible for making a marriage work. You have no idea what you are talking about and are doing a disservice to those young men you "counsel". How can you possibly be teaching them about honesty with themselves and others if you teach them that there is no such thing as personal responsibility? Believe it or not, just because you despise women, that does not mean that women, as a whole, are evil, conniving witches with a hidden agenda. Perhaps if this is the type of woman you are known to attract, you should take some time to look to yourself to figure out why. Ever heard the phrase "birds of a feather flock together"?

Hi How are you today? Good I hope....A Pattern is emerging here. Could it be that if a man chooses not to marry, then a woman looses control. Well now.........I have debated this issue with politicians, judges, lawyers, blue and white colar, delivery men and women, factory workers, all types of people from all walks of life. There is one thing...one constant that everyone agrees with.....if a man does not play the game he cannot loose his house, his money and many, many, many, other things to an ex because he does not have one.........it's not rocket science............BE SMART STAY SINGLE YOUNG MAN..........If you think for one second that the playing field is level. Then you are way out of touch with reality............FAMILY COURT AND UNDOMESTIC RELATIONS ARE GENDER BIAS AGANIST MEN...PERIOD. Get over it. The system is broken, that fact there is no doubt. I don't have all the answers but neither do you. It's soon too late ladies...soon you will not have the option of saying oh well it did not work out I can still take him for everything he has..............the movement is gaining momentum, the word is getting out...........STAY SINGLE YOUNG MAN............I and others by the way will continue to warn young men about the reality of life....There is nothing that you or anyone else can do about it.............once again for the benefit of any single man that may be reading this, stay that way. Another woman has taken it upon herself to correct me......fix me.....put me in my place.....
change my way of thinking.....and on and on and on and on and on...ask yourself do you really want to be a part of that............Just don't take my word for it. Speak to other men married, divorced, single or whatever. If they are honest with you it will open your eyes..................Thank you
STAY SINGLE YOUNG MAN................
SSYM

You aren't reading one thing anyone has stated. I don't think ANYONE NEEDS to get married, that certainly is everyone's choice not to.

You however crossed the line when you state women get married, pop out kids and get divorced so they can get money. That isn't an opinion, it's a sexist remark. There is a difference between and opinion and an insult!

First of all, marriage is has NOT been shown to be beneficial to women in multiple studies. On the other hand, it has led to extended life expectancy and stability for men.

I understand that you are terrified of women. I also understand why women will have nothing to do with you. Luckily, all women can rest assured that the "men" that you "teach" are too weak to amount to anything as a husband to begin with. Don't worry. I have no need of any man's money. As a matter of fact, when I had my first child I refused to marry him because I felt that there was no reason to make my life and my child's life a living hell. It turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life. Contrary to your belief, not all women want a man to take care of her. Most women are perfectly capable of caring for themselves. When a woman marries, more often than not, not only does the wife care for herself, her children, the majority of the household work, the social life, and the extended family, she also cares for her husband.

I am now married. I LOVE caring for my family. I wouldn't have it any other way. What you fail to realize is that a man and good husband cares for his wife and family as much as she cares for them. It's a partnership. It's not a war. If you view it as a war, be prepared to be defeated. You and your rants (which by the way, show a distinct lack of education) cannot defeat love and human nature. Now, go away. Go find a forum for men that are terrified of the power of women.

Need I say more.......LOL.........STAY SINGLE YOUNG MAN.

Hey, if you want to pull off a marriage/commitment strike, that's entirely your business. More power to you. I agree that men are getting screwed in many aspects of family and marriage law.
But...
If you really want to get our attention, how about a sex strike? Everyone knows that women have more power when it comes to bringing children in the world...why don't you tell your young men to abstain from having sex and thus giving ultimate control over a pregnancy to a woman?
Like I said, I think men get the shaft a lot of times in family law, but what a sigh of relief it would be for men to take control of their own bodies. If you can pull that off, I'll stand next to you on Capitol Hill with a sign lobbying for equal rights.
Many women have been ingesting hormones and crap in an attempt to take responsibility for their own bodies. If a man chooses not to take responsibility for his own sexual behavior and ends up with one of the women who don't, I have little sympathy.

Hi
You make some good points. Given all the facts in society today how and why would any man want to marry. Solidarity for men is a great idea. In my state we are not allowed to protest family law or undomestic relations. That's right, if we gather at the courthouse we can be arrested. So much for freedom uh. To draw attention to these issues it would take a march on Washington. It would be my pleasure to protest with you. Family law and child support is an entity within itself. They can do whatever they want to whomever they want whenever they want. It's leaglized extortion. That's why I teach against marriage. I don't believe we can change or fix the problem. However we can go around it. If a young man is serious about his future he should read and study what is going on. Join the movement, spread the word....................STAY SINGLE YOUNG MAN.
SSYM