On 24 Jun 2003 17:58:07 GMT, kjs668@aol.comeek (kj) wrote:
: Jackie jdajda@newsguy.comDate: 6/24/2003 8:24 AM Eastern Daylight TimeMessage-id: <gfggfvkrms7qst9146ghm81efld5i8cm2a@4ax.com>On 23 Jun 2003 21:53:09 GMT, kjs668@aol.comeek (kj) wrote:>And getting the knowledge from a sibling is not going to be good>enough IMO because the knowledge is colored by the issues of the>sibling..>I've know a number of adoptee's who feel a lot of bitterness towards theirbirthparents. Here's a line that might help you get in the head of someadoptees... "My own mother didn't want me."And if they do not go to her and ask her questions then how in hellare they going to know what really went on in the womans mind.I'm not disputing that. I'm just trying to help you understand how a number(not all) adoptees feel about their birthmothers.

I understand... That message was driven home yesterday by fiend..
It helped me a lot.. A piece of the puzzle is in place.. A piece that
I refused to look at..
The siblings do not know the truth..(may not know) They may think theyknow the truth and they man verbalize what they think is the truth..But the facts are only one person knows the truth..I totally agree.Hence I am saying one needs to know the birthmother.. She is importantin reunion. She should not be bypassed..I also totally agree. But it does take time, especially from a teen, for anadoptee to come to grips with his/her own feelings of rejection. --Unless, ofcourse, they don't suffer from that particular form of ACS.

I think semi open adoptions are very difficult for some.

She sits and hears about her son or daughter because she is told that
the son or daughter is only able to talk with the sibling..

She is out of the loop..

I sure am glad I never had to go through that one..

Jackie

>Jackie jdajda@newsguy.comDate: 6/25/2003 8:21 AM Eastern Daylight TimeMessage-id: <cm4jfvsbhkb84qcmpmtqnggjrjk1cag4bh@4ax.com>On 24 Jun 2003 17:58:07 GMT, kjs668@aol.comeek (kj) wrote:: Jackie jdajda@newsguy.comDate: 6/24/2003 8:24 AM Eastern Daylight TimeMessage-id: <gfggfvkrms7qst9146ghm81efld5i8cm2a@4ax.com>On 23 Jun 2003 21:53:09 GMT, kjs668@aol.comeek (kj) wrote:>>And getting the knowledge from a sibling is not going to be good>>enough IMO because the knowledge is colored by the issues of the>>sibling..>>>>I've know a number of adoptee's who feel a lot of bitterness towards their>birthparents. Here's a line that might help you get in the head of some>adoptees... "My own mother didn't want me."And if they do not go to her and ask her questions then how in hellare they going to know what really went on in the womans mind.I'm not disputing that. I'm just trying to help you understand how a number(not all) adoptees feel about their birthmothers.I understand... That message was driven home yesterday by fiend..It helped me a lot.. A piece of the puzzle is in place.. A piece thatI refused to look at..

What? That birthmothers aren't the only people who have feelings?
The siblings do not know the truth..(may not know) They may think theyknow the truth and they man verbalize what they think is the truth..But the facts are only one person knows the truth..I totally agree.Hence I am saying one needs to know the birthmother.. She is importantin reunion. She should not be bypassed..I also totally agree. But it does take time, especially from a teen, for anadoptee to come to grips with his/her own feelings of rejection. --Unless,ofcourse, they don't suffer from that particular form of ACS.I think semi open adoptions are very difficult for some.She sits and hears about her son or daughter because she is told thatthe son or daughter is only able to talk with the sibling..She is out of the loop..I sure am glad I never had to go through that one..Jackie


kj