NC--I've been divorced since Nov 2004, my ex and I did our own seperation agreement and had a friendly divorce. We stated joint custody for his benefit that way he got extra pay (he is in the military) but our son is with me all the time and he used to come get him every other weekend or when he could, he lived on base around 4hr drive. I never enforced the: "this is your weekend this is mine" as long as our son was happy. He got married Mar 05 and wife used to live near me so he would still drive 4 hours to come see her and he would see him. Now he moved her to live on base so expects me to drive half way so he can see our son. Is that something that a Judge would ruled in favor off? I even cut down the child support we had agreed because he had economical problems so I feel I have been more than accomadating. But I can't be driving 2 hours when ever he calls that he wants to see our son. Can I go to court and ask for soul custody?

bite you in the @$$

been there done that!!

You are not responsible for transportation and certainly not at dads whim.

While you have been more than accomodating in the past it also did not really have an effect on your life to let dad pick up kid when ever where ever.

The most any judge will see fit to make you do is meet him half way or drive one way every other weekend.

if he want the child at other times it is up to him and new wife to arrange transportation.

I did the same thing for 10 years let dad see kids when ever with no notice ever.... He worked as a hotel manager and never had a set schedule for days off so i worked with him and allowed visits at drop of a hat.

when he moved 40 minutes away I never volunteered for drop off or pick up unless it was in my path that particular day.

Adjust the parenting plan if necessary ask for sole custody if you feel you have to.

Personally I would send him a letter stating exactly what you are willing to do as far as visitation goes and if it is one trip a month then that is it.

We have lives too!!!

4 hours is a ridiculous drive I would never be able to do it with my back and neck the way it is. In fact if my back and neck did not hurt I still would not do it ( unless of course I was the one that moved and a judge made me)

how old is your son?

rini

You were being nice doing what you've been doing and at this point you don't HAVE to do anything; so either just stop and let him decide how he is going to work out his relocation himself or you could go to court (which will be costly). I don't think the custody is the issue here because even if he gets joint custody, you will be the primary custodial parent. I think it is more of a visitation issue. Let him know that if you go to court it will be set times and not on his demand. Good luck, I wish you the best. I have done the same thing as you and tried to be liberal and flexible in visitation and trust me, it is not recognized or appreciated by the NCP.

I think you really don't have to do a thing and let him deal with it.

My boy is five and he is at an age that he asks a lot and I've always tried to keep stuff from him but it's been several weeks that he hasn't seen him and he is sad. Some friends had told me that I have gone over and beyond of what an ex-wife would do. He says he has spoken with friend that are divorced and they tell him this and that so I really didn't know, the friends I have that are divorced have everything set by court. Thank you for your response.