Has anyone ever heard of it. I had a child custody battle with my ex husband. After a long trying case I finally signed for joined custody. A year later he had been in prision for 4 months. In March I moved to NC and got married to my long term boyfriend. When my ex gets out I know he is going to sue me for moving. So to my original question. Is there such a thing as change of venue? Thanks in advance.

There is such a thing however, if when he is out of jail he remains in the same county as the order you will not likely be granted a change of venue. You would need to speak to an attorney to see if it's even possible to do while he's incarcerated.

you dont think they would let him keep any custody do you? He got a three year term in prision for arson. He has been in lots of other trouble. What does everyone think?

you dont think they would let him keep any custody do you? He got a three year term in prision for arson. He has been in lots of other trouble. What does everyone think?


Sure he would. YOU would have to prove he is a danger TO THE CHILD and that can be hard to do before he would lose any kind of visitation and/or custody rights. I have seen child molesters get supervised visitation of their children. He would still have the right to have a say in decisions.

Sure he would. YOU would have to prove he is a danger TO THE CHILD and that can be hard to do before he would lose any kind of visitation and/or custody rights. I have seen child molesters get supervised visitation of their children. He would still have the right to have a say in decisions.

Sorry I worded that wrong. I live in another state than he does. Before he went to prision we had joint custody. But he hasn't always had joint custody. My son just turned 5 years old when he went to jail and he had only had joint custody for nine months. That is the only time in the whole 5 years he has ever had it. When this happened we lived in the same state and same town. Now I live 300 miles away. My question is do you think they will still let him keep joint custody. The order states that we alternate weeks. Now that I have moved that is not excally possiable. I want to ask the court for full custody. Do think I have a chance?

Sorry I worded that wrong. I live in another state than he does. Before he went to prision we had joint custody. But he hasn't always had joint custody. My son just turned 5 years old when he went to jail and he had only had joint custody for nine months. That is the only time in the whole 5 years he has ever had it. When this happened we lived in the same state and same town. Now I live 300 miles away. My question is do you think they will still let him keep joint custody. The order states that we alternate weeks. Now that I have moved that is not excally possiable. I want to ask the court for full custody. Do think I have a chance?


You have a chance while he's incarcerated but when he gets out he has the right to file for and will likely receive joint again.

My question is did you get court permission before moving or even permission from the father? The visitation schedule will have to be modified so as to address the miles apart but do not be surprised if you are ordered to pay for all transportation for visitations since you created the distance. I take it since you say the order says alternate weeks then that answers about if you had court permission in moving before doing so. Know that this move can hurt you in the long run if it wasn't done through the proper channels.

No I didn't ask the courts. I didn’t ask the father either. He is in a maximum security prison and I can't call him. He calls his parents everyday but he has never called me. He knows where I am though. I married my long term boyfriend of 3 years after he got sent away and that is why I moved. My husband is now and always has been stationed in North Carolina. He is in the Army. I have been gone about 10 months. I mentioned moving to my ex husband but didn't really say anthing. I don't he thougt I was serious. I do however let my ex's parents take my son to see him in prison every other weekend. I didn't want it to seem like he left and I took the kid and ran or anything. I also let my ex's parents take him for long weekends and on holidays. I pretty much let them see him whenever they wants as long as it does not interfere with his school. He is in Kindergarten. I appreciate all of your input. Keep it coming.

No I didn't ask the courts. I didn’t ask the father either. He is in a maximum security prison and I can't call him. He calls his parents everyday but he has never called me. He knows where I am though. I married my long term boyfriend of 3 years after he got sent away and that is why I moved. My husband is now and always has been stationed in North Carolina. He is in the Army. I have been gone about 10 months. I mentioned moving to my ex husband but didn't really say anthing. I don't he thougt I was serious. I do however let my ex's parents take my son to see him in prison every other weekend. I didn't want it to seem like he left and I took the kid and ran or anything. I also let my ex's parents take him for long weekends and on holidays. I pretty much let them see him whenever they wants as long as it does not interfere with his school. He is in Kindergarten. I appreciate all of your input. Keep it coming.


Ok.. several problems here....

First, you should have checked with an attorney before moving because MANY states require that you get court approval before moving. You likely would have gotten it granted considering he is incarcerated but as I said MANY states require it. Now, that state did or not I cannot state for sure. Once the move would have been granted, considering the distance and on top of that dad's incarceration visitation should have been modified because again... he gets out and if nothings changed the court order stands as it is and he's entitled to every other week. If he does not receive that he can file contempt on you. Will he get anywhere? No one can say, it is totally dependent on the judge. Either way it will be a boat load of trouble that could have been prevented.

Secondly, by allowing these visits and not filing anything you are giving the impression that you have no issue with the father.

These actions will not in themselves make it easy to get full custody... at least in a legal sense. Again, it will be easier while he's in jail but when he gets out he WILL get visitation and likely get joint legal custody also.

Whether or not he KNOWS you moved likely isn't going to matter because unless he signs a POA to someone and/or gets a lawyer he couldn't have contested but that didn't eliminate your obligation to get court approval if it is required.

My advice is to go back to the originating court and file for a visitation and custody modification based on the distance and father's incarceration. However, be prepared to possibly get at least a little bashing for not following proper proceedures.

Ok.. several problems here....

First, you should have checked with an attorney before moving because MANY states require that you get court approval before moving. You likely would have gotten it granted considering he is incarcerated but as I said MANY states require it. Now, that state did or not I cannot state for sure. Once the move would have been granted, considering the distance and on top of that dad's incarceration visitation should have been modified because again... he gets out and if nothings changed the court order stands as it is and he's entitled to every other week. If he does not receive that he can file contempt on you. Will he get anywhere? No one can say, it is totally dependent on the judge. Either way it will be a boat load of trouble that could have been prevented.

Secondly, by allowing these visits and not filing anything you are giving the impression that you have no issue with the father.

These actions will not in themselves make it easy to get full custody... at least in a legal sense. Again, it will be easier while he's in jail but when he gets out he WILL get visitation and likely get joint legal custody also.

Whether or not he KNOWS you moved likely isn't going to matter because unless he signs a POA to someone and/or gets a lawyer he couldn't have contested but that didn't eliminate your obligation to get court approval if it is required.

My advice is to go back to the originating court and file for a visitation and custody modification based on the distance and father's incarceration. However, be prepared to possibly get at least a little bashing for not following proper proceedures.



I did check with my attorney before I left. She told me to go. Just make sure I file before he gets out. She said if I wait till he gets out it will be hard. I understand what you are saying about letting him go to the jail and not filing. I am going to file before he gets out. He get outs in April and I am going to file in January. I just didn't want it to look like (after I file) to the judge that I was being unreasable and just left town. Thats is why I let him go see his dad. I still want them to have a relationship. I also want him to have a relationship with his grandparents. What do you think. You think I could get full custody while he is still incarted.

I did check with my attorney before I left. She told me to go. Just make sure I file before he gets out. She said if I wait till he gets out it will be hard. I understand what you are saying about letting him go to the jail and not filing. I am going to file before he gets out. He get outs in April and I am going to file in January. I just didn't want it to look like (after I file) to the judge that I was being unreasable and just left town. Thats is why I let him go see his dad. I still want them to have a relationship. I also want him to have a relationship with his grandparents. What do you think. You think I could get full custody while he is still incarted.


I wouldn't bank on it... especially since he will be getting out so soon. I also wouldn't be surprised if the judge didn't continue it until he could be available since it will only be a few months. You will likely get primary physical custody but I don't see a lot banking on get sole legal custody. However, no one can tell you what a judge will or will not rule.

I wouldn't bank on it... especially since he will be getting out so soon. I also wouldn't be surprised if the judge didn't continue it until he could be available since it will only be a few months. You will likely get primary physical custody but I don't see a lot banking on get sole legal custody. However, no one can tell you what a judge will or will not rule.


I have primary physical custody now. The order say though that we alternate weeks. I don't want to keep my ex from him, I just don't want him to live with him. Does that make sense?

I have primary physical custody now. The order say though that we alternate weeks. I don't want to keep my ex from him, I just don't want him to live with him. Does that make sense?


Do the papers state you have primary physical custody because with 50/50 a lot do not. By primary physical custody I meant he would live with you most of the time but be prepared to give up:

Half ... if not ALL Christmas breaks
At least every other, if not every, spring brea,
anywhere from 1/2 to all of Summer break and any other extended school vacations.

Do the papers state you have primary physical custody because with 50/50 a lot do not. By primary physical custody I meant he would live with you most of the time but be prepared to give up:

Half ... if not ALL Christmas breaks
At least every other, if not every, spring brea,
anywhere from 1/2 to all of Summer break and any other extended school vacations.

The papers do state that I have Primary physical custody and he has joint physical custody. They said one of us had to have it because there had to a be finally decision maker. We are supposed to pay our own support on our weeks. I WANT to give him half christmas break, spring break and summer break. I dont want to keep him from him. I just want to be able to stay in NC and my son live with me. I don't want to have the same alternate week order. I am afraid the judge will want to leave it that way.

The papers do state that I have Primary physical custody and he has joint physical custody. They said one of us had to have it because there had to a be finally decision maker. We are supposed to pay our own support on our weeks. I WANT to give him half christmas break, spring break and summer break. I dont want to keep him from him. I just want to be able to stay in NC and my son live with me. I don't want to have the same alternate week order. I am afraid the judge will want to leave it that way.


I think you are confusing physical and LEGAL custody. LEGAL custody is the decision making part. Joint physical custody can even simply mean there is some sort of visitation involved. However, again there are difference in legal and physical custody. It is very unusual to have complete joint physical yet when the child is in the home you can't make legal decisions. My husband has 50/50 and they have joint legal also meaning they have to agree on the issues and there is not a primary. Whomever told you there HAD to be one was incorrect. It's easier when there is one, but it is not a requirement but for society purposes because society believes there needs to be.

Like I said, you'll likely get to stay where you are but could get a lashing from the judge but you are going to have to file where the original order was ordered.