Hey!

I need some advice. My ex and I have been divorced now for 11 yrs and we have two girls together. My youngest who is 13 yrs old has decided that she is wanted to come livemostly with me. Her mother and I had a bad divorce but she did let her come her and stay with me. We have not done anything in court yet and the papers still say that primary residence is with mother and I have over night visits on Wed. and than every other weekend. She turns 14 soon and believe that is the age that she is able to decide and she has mentioned 50/50 and I would much rather have documents showing that because any time my ex gets mad she is known to "change" things. (She is saying 50/50 even though since this has happened it is more like 80/10 and her time with me is 80% of the time, which I am so thankful and enjoying it!!!)But when the law states that at 14 the child is able to make decisions that doesnt mean go against what is in court papers, right? That just means that the judge takes their feelings into considerations, correct? My oldest daughter doesnt want the visitation to change and I respect her decision. I told them both that my goal is their happiness.

My next-question is since I have had my youngest 80% of the time now shouldnt the child support change? It is taken out of my check and I like it better that way. I know with "shared custody" some people still even pay child support for ex. my brother my X makes 2 X I do & than I have gotten screwed "every" single year because she has claimed "both" girls on her taxes since our divorce 11 years ago!!!

I feel if I have one child I need every penny for her and its not right to give her money for a child she doesnt even have!! Us dads get a lot of crap for not paying child support or taking care of our children but there is a lot of us out there that are doing it.......

She makes double the money I do and I know that we can sign a paper to get the child support stopped. Wouldnt that make more sense instead of she paying me for shared custody for the youngest and than I pay here for the oldest? I do feel I should get taxes on my youngest especially since she has been at her mothers only one time in 3 weeks-yes I tell her call her mom every day, she doesnt have to ask and she can go there any time and I never talk badly about her mother. I cant afford any more attorney fees and still making payments to my attorney for my additional visitation 5 years ago!!

What do I do without paying an arm and a leg that I can not afford right now due to the fact that I feel I am paying for my youngest daughter 2 times???? :confused:

Georgia is the only state that has a law on the books which allows a child to choose their primary custodian at the age of 14. If you don't live in Gorgia, then you child can't "choose" and the judge have to say "OK". However, at the age of 14 in most states a child's wishes can be taken into consideration.

Child support with split custody (1 child with one parent, 1 child with the other parent) is usually done as follows: a CS worksheet is done with each parent as CP. Whoever's CS obligation is highest pays the difference between their child support obligation and the other parents. For example: If she were to owe you $400 a month and you were to owe her $200 a month, they would subtract the $200 from the $400 and she'd owe you a net CS amount of $200 a month.

Until the current custody/CS orders are changed to reflect that either A.) You have the child 80% of the time, or; B.) That you are doing a split custody arrangement, the current child support order still prevails and you will still keep paying that amount.