I work in California, for a large company, and the way our HR department is broken down is that there is an HR Mgr. assigned to each group. I really don't like the HR Mgr. for my department -- he's new and untrained and I don't really care for his abrasive personality, either, but I realize that these are my own "issues".

Anyhow, recently I have been browsing some of the available internal job opportunities which require me to work with him to get details and set up preliminary meetings or interviews. He has been extremely unprofessional at every step, but I have gritted my teeth and moved forward. One of the things that I have stressed to him -- by phone and by email -- is that I do NOT want anyone else in my department to know that I am looking at other job opportunities. He assured me that he is not "allowed" to say anything to anyone and that everything is 100% confidential and that he would only talk to my manager if I had accepted another position.

So now one of the hiring managers has extended me an offer and asked for me to accept the job by the end of the business day. I explained that this was not enough time, and politely requested an 'extension' of a few days. They hestitated and pushed me to give them an answer. Meanwhile, the HR Mgr. called my boss and asked her to talk to me and urge me to make a decision TODAY, because I had "interviewed with too many people to decline this offer". !!! I was astounded : #1, he broke our confidential agreement -- he promised me that he wouldn't say anything, and clearly he did. #2, it was an EXTREMELY awkward position to put me and my current manager in -- she was not aware that I was reviewing other jobs, and now she was being told to ask me to hurry up and make a decision.

I want to at least take this to his boss, the Sr. HR Mgr., so that she is aware that this is happening. I am so upset, I could just cry. How should I approach this with her -- is there any way for me to make her realize that I feel so exposed and unhappy? I don't know exactly what I expect from her, but I feel so vulnerable now.

Thank you for your help.

He assured me that he is not "allowed" to say anything to anyone and that everything is 100% confidential and that he would only talk to my manager if I had accepted another position.

This may be company policy. It is not the law. There is VERY little information that an HR representative is required by law to keep confidential, and in many cases demanding, or even asking, that they keep certain information to themselves is handcuffing them so that they cannot do their jobs. In some instances (not, I grant you, this one) it would be illegal for them NOT to do what you call "breaking confidentiality".

This is purely an internal matter. No laws were violated. Since I don't know your senior HR manager, I can't advise you on how you should approach this, except to let her know that you were unhappy with the way the situation was handled.

Your HR Manager never should have promised to keep your pursuit of another position confidential. It's just not appropriate for your manager not to be advised (whether by you, HR, or the hiring manager) that you are interviewing for another position internally. Your manager needs to be in the loop simply as a professional courtesy.

That said, your direct HR Manager clearly is having some issues with how he does his job and a lack of professionalism. You may well be doing the Sr. HR Manager a favor by voicing your concerns to him or her. I'd certainly want to know.