My daughter is now 10 years old. She has only seen her biological father a few times. He just made her take a paternity test about 3 months ago. And now after all this time he is now taking me to court for visitations. oh, forgot to mention he also has never paid child support. He called me just the other day to let me know he will not have to pay back child support. I do not even know what is happening. My daughter is scared of him and now starts crying anytime we run into him. Before he started all of this we would run into him and she would say hey and go about her business with me and her step-father(who has raised her). WIll a judge actually allow him to just step in after all this time? I have checked into the Florida law and have not seen anything on something like this.

My daughter is now 10 years old. She has only seen her biological father a few times. He just made her take a paternity test about 3 months ago. And now after all this time he is now taking me to court for visitations. oh, forgot to mention he also has never paid child support. He called me just the other day to let me know he will not have to pay back child support. I do not even know what is happening. My daughter is scared of him and now starts crying anytime we run into him. Before he started all of this we would run into him and she would say hey and go about her business with me and her step-father(who has raised her). WIll a judge actually allow him to just step in after all this time? I have checked into the Florida law and have not seen anything on something like this.

I may be wrong, but I suspect that either you have only recently filed for CS from him, or you have collected some form of public assistance and the state has filed for CS for you. If paternity had never been established, and if there was never a court order for CS, your ex is correct. He will not have to pay for the years that never had a court order. Howver, the Judge can order CS back to the date that CS was filed for.

If he is the bio Dad, he will be given visitation rights. Considering that he hasn't been in the child's life much, the court will most likely order short visits at first, probably supervised for at least a month. The court realizes that the father and child need a period of time to get to know each other. Also, the court will most likely order you and the bio Dad to go to parenting classes, they will help the 2 of you learn how to put your child's best interests first.

I'm going to make a suggestion to you, that you may not like, but it needs to be said.

You said that before the bio Dad started all this, that you and your daughter would run into him, and your daughter would just say hi, and go about her business. You say that NOW she is afraid of him. WHY is she afraid? She is only 10 years old, the only way that she would become afraid of him is because the ADULTS in her life have let her know thier personal feelings about the CS and vistation issues.

You cannot stop the child's father from being a part of her life, and for your daughter's sake you and the bio dad and step dad need to start putting the child's feelings/best interests first. My suggestion is for all 3 of you to sit down- WITHOUT YOUR DAUGHTER PRESENT, and talk. At least come to an agreement that all talk about CS,visitations, personal feelings, etc. will NOT be discussed IN FRONT OF OR WITH YOUR DAUGHTER. This is the best thing that all of you can do for your daughter right now. Good luck.
Xena

thank you for your reply. I have not went for child support nor public assistance. the reason for her being afraid of him now is-he cussed me out at her softball game in front of her. and told her if she ignored him one more time he was going to beat her ***. as far as the three of us getting together and trying to work out something. i have tried, but he will not. he thinks the judge will grant him full visitations including summers. so, i have done all you said. this man was very abusive to me and does have a child abuse record on record. we were never married, we broke up when i was 3 months pregnant and he did not see his daughter until she was 5 and not because i kept her away- we have always lived about 5 miles away from him, she does know his parents though, and she says they are mean to her and talk really bad about me and her other grandparents. this is just a terrible situation. i do want what is best for my daughter.

I would document everything you wrote here. Also get the names of any people who witnessed the park incident. Write those down also. Then get a copy of his child abuse record. Get all the documetation you can. You will be armed with all the facts so the best thing will happen for your daughter. I would not let him be with her alone at all with all you have said. Get an attorney right away and tell him all this. Good luck.

Well if he files, I suggest that you seek sole custody with supervised visitation only, or maybe even to have his parental rights terminated on the grounds of abandonment. I suggest consulting an attorney. I think you have a strong abandonment case and termination may be in the best interest of the child.

I already have an attorney, I just joined to get others advice on this situation and support from others that may be in the same situation. my daughter has not been around him since she was 7 which was actually the first time she had been with him by herself ever. It went very badly. Her biological father spanked her and told her if she swung her bat one more time he was going to beat her *ss with it. To make it even worse her paternal grandfather also spanked her the same day for spilling her drink. So, she has not been with him since. About the child abuse charges, I just found all of this out 1 week ago. It happened in 1991 when he was 22. The charges were kidnapping-false imprisonment and cruelty toward child-abuse towards a child under 13 yrs old. My lawyer pulled his criminal record and it is about 15 pages long, dating from 1991-2002. varies from the above charge to DUI. We started dating in 1994 when I was 21 and in pharmacy school. I got pregnant in 1995 and we broke up. This was not a long nor healthy relationship. I do not regret dating him because of the outcome- my daughter. I know the law is mainly on my side due to all the above. It just scares me thinking that some how the judge will feel he has changed. Sorry for rattling on- thank you guys for any advice, any is welcome!

That is a very scary situation. No wonder she does not want anything to do with him. Make sure you do keep records of everything. It all adds up and makes a good case. It is hard when you live in small towns and they talk bad about your parents and you. Keep taking the high road. People know.