My husband has an ex-wife and 2 kids, ages 16 and 14, living in Utah. We live in PA. He has been paying CS directly to her these past few years. We were married in May, and as soon as his ex found out, she filed for modification of CS. As far as we know, the paperwork is still in process. My husband just had a job interview and is 95% sure he will get the job. The job has a salary increase of about $5000/yr. Will this affect modification when she finds out (if he gets this job)? Will the courts use his new salary and the information from his past tax returns to calculate CS? If it is based on his past salary, can she file again based on his new salary? She won't work, and I'm worried that she'll just see $$$ and want to get as much as she can from him. He's currently paying $900/month. His 16 year old daughter (she'll be 17 in December) dropped out of high school and is working full time.

My husband has an ex-wife and 2 kids, ages 16 and 14, living in Utah. We live in PA. He has been paying CS directly to her these past few years. We were married in May, and as soon as his ex found out, she filed for modification of CS. As far as we know, the paperwork is still in process. My husband just had a job interview and is 95% sure he will get the job. The job has a salary increase of about $5000/yr. Will this affect modification when she finds out (if he gets this job)? Will the courts use his new salary and the information from his past tax returns to calculate CS? If it is based on his past salary, can she file again based on his new salary? She won't work, and I'm worried that she'll just see $$$ and want to get as much as she can from him. He's currently paying $900/month. His 16 year old daughter (she'll be 17 in December) dropped out of high school and is working full time.

The CS will be computed using the income from his new job. Since the new job is an increase of income over the previous years, the court probably won't use his past tax returns to calculate CS.

IF the state that the CS order is in uses both parents' incomes to calculate CS, your husband can ask the court to impute an income to his ex, since she is unemployed.
Xena :)

My husband has an ex-wife and 2 kids, ages 16 and 14, living in Utah. We live in PA. He has been paying CS directly to her these past few years. We were married in May, and as soon as his ex found out, she filed for modification of CS. As far as we know, the paperwork is still in process. My husband just had a job interview and is 95% sure he will get the job. The job has a salary increase of about $5000/yr. Will this affect modification when she finds out (if he gets this job)? Will the courts use his new salary and the information from his past tax returns to calculate CS? If it is based on his past salary, can she file again based on his new salary? She won't work, and I'm worried that she'll just see $$$ and want to get as much as she can from him. He's currently paying $900/month. His 16 year old daughter (she'll be 17 in December) dropped out of high school and is working full time.

Why would you not want it modified if his salary increases? It's for his children. It's not going to increase that much anyway, so be the better person and volunteer the new salary amount. I sure wish more ncp would do this. It is thier obligation. He doesn't have to pay much longer anyway (1 - 2 maybe 3 years) What out of pocket would it be to him? Maybe an extra $100 per month for 36 months is a total of $3,600 - spread over 3 years (and I think that's estimated high). A small price to pay to say you were always there for your kids.

Okay, so if he gets the job, and we already checked it out on the states' CS calculator, he will pay $1400/month. And I beg to differ, but it is not for the children only. She won't work, so therefore he is supporting her as well. You explain to me where the justice is on that one? We both know that he is doing the right thing by paying support, but she should support herself. And even if her income was imputed based on minimum wage, 40hr week, her financial contribution amounts to a whopping $20. You explain to me how that is fair? I am coming to the conclusion that there is no fairness shown to the non-custodial fathers who actually do pay their support.

Okay, so if he gets the job, and we already checked it out on the states' CS calculator, he will pay $1400/month. And I beg to differ, but it is not for the children only. She won't work, so therefore he is supporting her as well. You explain to me where the justice is on that one? We both know that he is doing the right thing by paying support, but she should support herself. And even if her income was imputed based on minimum wage, 40hr week, her financial contribution amounts to a whopping $20. You explain to me how that is fair? I am coming to the conclusion that there is no fairness shown to the non-custodial fathers who actually do pay their support.

She is being the mother of those kids. Is that not worth anything?

I do see your point. I'm in the same situation with my husbands ex, but I finally came to the conclusion that it isn't for me to judge and its makes life alot easier to swallow when I accept that he pays what his income warrants and he does it happily and I love him for it. I totally understand your gripe with it. I'm just trying to point out that you're probably better off taking the high road on this one.

Plus, I don't know how you figured cs will increase by $500 per month. I live in Ut and if you're using thier cs table, a $5000 per year increase in salary would only increase your support by about $79 per month (if your saying he currently pays about $900). I can't imagine it being much different in any other state. Plus if you did impute her income at minimum wage fulltime, she'd actually have an obligation of about $137 per month, and yours would only increase about $50.

Here is the link to Utah's cs calculator: http://orscsc.dhs.utah.gov/orscscapp-hs/orscscweb/action/public/custodyWorksheet/show

My ex husbands wife does not want him to pay child support. She knew he had children when she married him. It seems to me that you are the one so worried about money. How far does $1,400 go in your household? You knew he had children when you two got married and it would be nice if you could take the high road and not cause so much extra stress where cs is concerned. If he does get the new job he will still be bringing home more. Are you workng?

Yes, Signature, I do work. I am a nurse and I work very hard for my wages. I'm glad my husband pays support; I wouldn't respect him if he didn't. I know what it's like to do without and I wouldn't want his kid to go through what I did. My big beef is that while my husband and I are out working hard to pay our way and try to get ahead in life, his ex wife gets to sit on her butt and do nothing except collect a check that she uses to pay rent, utilities, and hopefully food. While that is important, it also means that the kids go without all those nice little extras because she won't get off her duff and help provide for them. Therefore, we're the ones who wind up paying for all those extras as well. Just because she is the mother of those kids, that doesn't necessarily means she's entitled to special consideration. If that were the case, my husband also should have special consideration as their father, but he doesn't. All that gets him is the privilege of sending a check once a month. I supported myself before I met and married my husband. It's just difficult for me to know that there is some dead weight floating around out there that would prefer to rely on others for their way in life. I have no patience for laziness.

There is a simple solution. Ask the daughter to become emancipated as a minor since she is a dropout with a job, or ask her to live with Dad. If he does not ahve the job at this point in time, it is all speculative. But I suggest that if she seeks an increase in support that he fight it in court because his marriage to you is a change, but not one that impacts the child support since the child is out of school and working. And i suggest that he ask for termination of support on the basis of the child being a dropout and working, thus effectively emancipated. But the child becoming emancipated would be the best thing. The child may get pressure from both sides- Mom wanting income and Dad not wanting to be taken advantage of.

There is a simple solution. Ask the daughter to become emancipated as a minor since she is a dropout with a job, or ask her to live with Dad. If he does not ahve the job at this point in time, it is all speculative. But I suggest that if she seeks an increase in support that he fight it in court because his marriage to you is a change, but not one that impacts the child support since the child is out of school and working. And i suggest that he ask for termination of support on the basis of the child being a dropout and working, thus effectively emancipated. But the child becoming emancipated would be the best thing. The child may get pressure from both sides- Mom wanting income and Dad not wanting to be taken advantage of.

I guess there's your answer as to what you can do about it. However, I just want to point out again that the increase in support isn't going to be much.

If she's already filed for modification, why did she (since he hasn't gotten the new job yet) ? They will probably ask for last years tax info, but will also take into consideration a new job and new salary.

By the way, how is she filing for modification? Is she using the Office of Recovery Services? Because they will only grant a modification if the current order is more than 3 years old and will result in a 10% increase or decrease in the amount (so if he is currently paying $900, it would have to change by at least $90 or they won't do it). OR if the order is less than 3 yrs old they will modify IF you can prove there was a substantial change in cirumstances and the change is support is at least 15% (it would have to change by $135). ALSO they will not order a modification if a child is going to turn 18 within 1 year.

I really don't think you have much to worry about. If I were you I'd just let the ex go through all the trouble, she isn't going to get much out of it.

I guess there's your answer as to what you can do about it. However, I just want to point out again that the increase in support isn't going to be much.
Shedo,
Again I have to point out...that that is someone's hard earned money...Doesn't matter if it is 2.00 or 200.00 It is money.......If mom isn't using it for support of a child, then he shouldn't be quick to shell it out regardless of how little or how much..........

She is being the mother of those kids. Is that not worth anything?

I do see your point. I'm in the same situation with my husbands ex, but I finally came to the conclusion that it isn't for me to judge and its makes life alot easier to swallow when I accept that he pays what his income warrants and he does it happily and I love him for it. I totally understand your gripe with it. I'm just trying to point out that you're probably better off taking the high road on this one.

Plus, I don't know how you figured cs will increase by $500 per month. I live in Ut and if you're using thier cs table, a $5000 per year increase in salary would only increase your support by about $79 per month (if your saying he currently pays about $900). I can't imagine it being much different in any other state. Plus if you did impute her income at minimum wage fulltime, she'd actually have an obligation of about $137 per month, and yours would only increase about $50.

Here is the link to Utah's cs calculator: http://orscsc.dhs.utah.gov/orscscapp-hs/orscscweb/action/public/custodyWorksheet/show
her being a mother is worth something do you not think that him being a father is worth something as well? I get so pissed at people thinking a father is just a paycheck!!!

her being a mother is worth something do you not think that him being a father is worth something as well? I get so pissed at people thinking a father is just a paycheck!!!

I never even implied that the father was just a paycheck. Both parents are responsible, I get mad when people think that just because the father is the only one physically writing out a check that he is the only one paying for the child! I think fathers are definately worth something. I'm just pointing out that picking your battles is also worth something.

Well, Shedo, in this particular case the father IS the only one paying for the children as his ex won't work. I keep hearing that both parents should be contributing to the expense of raising their kids but she isn't contributing anything at all, financially speaking. There is no reason why she can't get a job, the kids are both teenagers and the oldest child has a job. My problem is not with my husband paying child support, because he should. My problem is that being that his ex won't work, the child support is supporting her as well. Then she has the nerve to complain about how she doesn't have money for this or that. Who's fault is that? And the fact that she filed within 2 weeks of our wedding doesn't help her case either. She knows I work full time and she thinks that she can get more money because I pay some bills around here. Quite frankly, I don't know how she's doing it now with the amount of support she's currently receiving, but it will only get worse when my husband will no longer be required to pay for his daughter. The ex will end up with less that what she's getting now. We sent his son school clothes in August (actually, I bought them and I had a ball doing it, too!) and sent his daughter a check so she could buy whatever she wanted and mom took the check before her daughter could actually see it, forged her daughters' name on it and deposited it in her daughters' account. She opens anything sent to the kids, whether or not they are present at the time. She doesn't have a checking account, because she said it doesn't make sense for her to have one (how many adults do you know who has to pay bills doesn't have a checking account?) when actually she keeps bouncing checks so the banks close the accounts. She also filed for bankruptcy earlier this year. Before we were married, my husband arranged for the CS to be wire transferred to her account while we were on our honeymoon. We didn't know that she was overdrawn, so the bank ended up taking the first $300 of the CS to satisfy the account. She had the nerve to call my husband to say "WE have a problem" and told him he still "owed" her $300! When he wouldn't give in, she tried everything she could to get him to "loan" her the money, crying that they were going to be evicted from their apartment. To top it all off, she wanted my husband to send a letter to ORS telling them he had no intention of paying support so she could try to get money from the state! Sounds like fraud to me. She is working so hard trying to get free money, it would actually be easier for her to get a job but she won't. We are hoping and praying that the kids haven't learned that this is how you get through life, by trying to have others support you instead of working for what you want. Thanks for letting me vent. I feel much better now!

Well, Shedo, in this particular case the father IS the only one paying for the children as his ex won't work. I keep hearing that both parents should be contributing to the expense of raising their kids but she isn't contributing anything at all, financially speaking. There is no reason why she can't get a job, the kids are both teenagers and the oldest child has a job. My problem is not with my husband paying child support, because he should. My problem is that being that his ex won't work, the child support is supporting her as well. Then she has the nerve to complain about how she doesn't have money for this or that. Who's fault is that? And the fact that she filed within 2 weeks of our wedding doesn't help her case either. She knows I work full time and she thinks that she can get more money because I pay some bills around here. Quite frankly, I don't know how she's doing it now with the amount of support she's currently receiving, but it will only get worse when my husband will no longer be required to pay for his daughter. The ex will end up with less that what she's getting now. We sent his son school clothes in August (actually, I bought them and I had a ball doing it, too!) and sent his daughter a check so she could buy whatever she wanted and mom took the check before her daughter could actually see it, forged her daughters' name on it and deposited it in her daughters' account. She opens anything sent to the kids, whether or not they are present at the time. She doesn't have a checking account, because she said it doesn't make sense for her to have one (how many adults do you know who has to pay bills doesn't have a checking account?) when actually she keeps bouncing checks so the banks close the accounts. She also filed for bankruptcy earlier this year. Before we were married, my husband arranged for the CS to be wire transferred to her account while we were on our honeymoon. We didn't know that she was overdrawn, so the bank ended up taking the first $300 of the CS to satisfy the account. She had the nerve to call my husband to say "WE have a problem" and told him he still "owed" her $300! When he wouldn't give in, she tried everything she could to get him to "loan" her the money, crying that they were going to be evicted from their apartment. To top it all off, she wanted my husband to send a letter to ORS telling them he had no intention of paying support so she could try to get money from the state! Sounds like fraud to me. She is working so hard trying to get free money, it would actually be easier for her to get a job but she won't. We are hoping and praying that the kids haven't learned that this is how you get through life, by trying to have others support you instead of working for what you want. Thanks for letting me vent. I feel much better now!

Let me just say I totally understand you! I'm glad you could vent. I don't want you to think my comments were negative toward you or un-sympathetic. I am in a similar situation. To the point where my husband's ex was lying - for 2 years saying she did have a job, so support was slightly less, but he was paying $300/ mo in daycare costs (because collecting that was more money for her than an increase in cs) - then we find out she never was working and was pocketing the extra $300 (her mother was the "daycare" provider). Then when we caught on to that scheme, she actually did get a real job, she lied and said she wasn't working so that cs would be increased. When we found out about that, we just imputed income at minimum wage and called it good. To keep up with the lies and crap is so draining and frustrating. We often have over paid her, and like you, we buy the kids school supplies, clothes, and on top of that, we pay for half of their activities expenses (in addition to cs) so that she can't tell the kids to call us crying saying that they can't participate in an activity because she can't afford it. She lives off of the cs, she pays rent with it, etc. So I compeltely know your frustrations (I work fulltime too). I've just done it long enough that I was trying to give some advice from my experience. It's a tough fight and seeing as how your husbands kids are older and the increase wouldn't be huge, I was suggesting to just let her try and have it modified. She is probably dilusional thinking that due to your marriage that she can get more cs, and she'll soon find out that is wrong. She is also probably jealous that you two are happy and is trying to get more money to satisfy her emptiness. There are rules to the laws and I have found in my experience that if you just comply with the law (go with the increase in support everytime his income increases) and let the frustration blow over, you are better off (and a better person). It can eat you up inside to see how she lives and it can hurt your new marriage. I'm not against fighting for what's right, and for father's rights, etc. But in my experience, she isn't going to get as much as she is hoping for anyway, so when I say "pick your battles", in my experience, this small increase in cs is not one that will make a big difference. I totally bad-mouth my husband's ex and verbalize my frustrations too at times - but the bottom line is that we choose our battles carefully. But good luck with whatever you do and I sincerely wish you the best - as I know all too well what you're dealing with!

for your words of encouragement. You are absolutely right, it can eat you up inside if you let it. I am trying very hard to just let it go and get on with it, and it is getting easier. Even my husband has commented that his ex is just mad and jealous that he is getting on with his life and is happier than he has been in a long time and she just can't stand it; this is the only way she can try to get back at him. You see, my husband isn't the same person he was when he was married to her. He is a recovering alcoholic, and she is, too. In fact, they met at AA. They only knew each other for 3 months when she discovered she was pregnant. She told him then that he would never have any say so about the child unless he married her, so he did. The marriage was a disaster from the very beginning, and they ended up having a second child as well. My husband was battling alcohol and drugs when he ended up with emergency custody of the kids because his wife had a mental breakdown and was committed. It was during this time that he was accused of improperly touching his daughter during a drunken stupor. When he first heard about the accusation he was like "no way," but he had to accept the fact it could have happened because he didn't think his daughter would lie about something like that. He just doesn't remember (anyone who has ever had an alcohol induced blackout will understand). So now he has a restraining order against him prohibiting him from having any contact with the kids until they are 18. But now, he has been drug and alcohol free for 4 plus years, has been working steady and has written and published several books about computer systems. We go to church regularly, and he is on several church committees as well. He is very intelligent, very caring, and is finally getting his life back on track. When I first met him, he was honest from the very beginning about his past and believe me, if he was even remotely close to what he used to be, I would have never married him. He has beaten himself up over what happened and he thinks he blew it. But I strongly believe that if he petitioned the court to get phone contact, he stands a good chance. He's just so afraid that his kids will refuse to have anything to do with him, but as I told him, at least he will know for sure. Being that his daughter called him last year because she didn't get a birthday gift from him, I believe that if she was allowed to talk to him, she would (she even said it would have to wait until she's 18). I want his kids to know him as the person he is today. I want them to know that he is not a monster, and I want them to know him as more than just a source of child support.