went to cusody hearing last week, the judge was totally biased.
mom took son out of state to CA then to live in AZ without dad's consent. dad has joint legal custody. we asked the court hold her in comtempt and also switch custody due to factors of mom's living conditions such as the son (7yrs) never having his own bed and moving 15 times since son was born as well as the fact that dad has a stable home to offer son and all that stuff.
mom came back to MN for court hearing WITHOUT son!!! then proceded to absolutly LIE to the court and make dad look like a deadbeat (which he is not by any means of the definition) the judge didn't take inaccount any of dad's information, just mom's ideas and he ended up deciding that AFTER the fact she would not be charged with contempt and would be granted permission to move.......Never mind the fact that she clearly broke the law with the visitation......has anyone ever heard of this happening??? What so you think of our chances on appeal with a different judge????

My husband and I are in a similar situation. His ex-wife has cutody of my step children and she has the kids living in a basement. I talked to a lawyer today and he said to request a Guardian Ad Litem to investigate the living situation of the child. When you file the appeal, also request the GAL. Their finding will be greatly considered in court. I hope that you get custody of the child. It sounds as if the child has no stability, which is very much needed at that age. Good luck.

To jlgkpk. I agree about most of what you have written about. Just to let you know that a basement is not a bad thing. I have 3 of my kids living in our basement. They love it. It is not fancy but they can turn their music up a little louder and now have their own bedrooms. Here in Utah and in Idaho and many places basements are the normal thing. They are not dungeons. I did not grow up with a basement but I am very used to them now. I know this is not your situation but I would love for my children's Grandparents to help raise my kids. They are neat and my ex. husbands parents. Well his Mom has passed away now but my former Father in Law is a great person. I am so grateful we are all still friends. But I am not with my ex. What a waste of energy. He tries everything he can to for want of better words, get even. I have no clue why he needs to get even except that he doesn't want to pay child support. His wife does not want him to either. As far as ever asking for any money extra for clothes, school fees, etc. I have never asked for it. Of course he would never pay it. They will just criticize anything the kids wear or do if it could possibly cause me stress or hurt me. It doesn't matter if it affects the kids as long as it affects me. They are colloratal damage. I would rather get along and keep things nice so the kids self esteem soars but I do the best I can being both parents. I remind them how much their Grandparents, my sister's and their husbands love them. Boy I went off on a tangent. Please excuse that. I would love it if I didn't need any child support but it still won't go away for him. I have heard of kids later suing their Dad for back child support even tho' the Mother didn't want the Dad to do his share.

My husband and I are in a similar situation. His ex-wife has cutody of my step children and she has the kids living in a basement. I talked to a lawyer today and he said to request a Guardian Ad Litem to investigate the living situation of the child. When you file the appeal, also request the GAL. Their finding will be greatly considered in court. I hope that you get custody of the child. It sounds as if the child has no stability, which is very much needed at that age. Good luck.

I agree with getting a Guardian Ad Litem. When we were filing for custody of my step kids, we had one appointed. My husbands ex (the kids mother) always lies in court and the judge buys it all (how can he not, through her fake tears and all). BUT when we had the GAL, she visited both of us, and upon our recommedation to call the children's school and other places (where there had been trouble with the mother), she did and finally got some 3rd party info that deflated her lies. the GAL's report in court was sweet at first but then she had to report her findings that exposed her lies - you should have seen her face. She was so caught and busted. Still, to tell you how tough it is to prove a mother un-fit - in our case, she still got to keep custody of the kids (she lied more to cover up the lies), BUT was put under some strict orders to protect the kids (like getting a new place to live, not having the kids around a dangerous family member, etc). So we didn't gain custody but we did gain some protection for the kids best interest. Anyway, a GAL can be beneficial if they can expose the lies by home visits, etc. good luck.

No basements are not always a bad thing. But the kids live in a huge house with 6 bedrooms in it that are empty. Why cant the children have their own rooms instead of having to live in the basement of the house. We just dont understand why the kids are in the basement if there are 6 empty rooms in the house. Sounds strange to me. When they were with us, they have their own rooms, and they said they wish they had their rooms back home. But your right, basments arent always a bad thing. But when a 4 year old and 7 year old and their mother all live in a basement when there are 6 rooms available, doesnt seem right.

My question to all is what exactly is a GAL?? Just someone who watches both families and make reports?? Can this happen when we are all in different states??
I think that the basement thing is nuts. (the way i was raised, i guess) If there are ROOMS in the basement then that is one thing, I am picturing just a cement floor and unfinished walls with some beds or mattresses thrown down there..... I would definitly be terribly upset at that. Just my opinion though....

Well, the lawyer I talked to said the GAL would first investigate the household in question. In our case we live in Texas but the GAL would investigate the childrens living conditions in Massachusetts. Since the kids live there our court hearings would be moved to Massachusetts. I was under the impression that if the GAL found evidence that the kids would be better off somewhere else, then they would do in home investigations of your home and determine whose home would best suit the childrens best interests. Their findings and suggestions would be given to the judge for consideration. Most likely, swaying the judges decision on where custody should be placed. And yes teh way I grew up living in a basement just doesnt seem right. According to the children there is a couch, a couple of beds and tv down there. Doesnt seem like great living standards to me.

Basements are as empty or as fancy as you make them. We are renting, so it is not fancy but there are carpets, windows curtains just like regular rooms. It did take me some getting used to but most basements are not dark dungeons. I cannot understand why since there are so many empty bedrooms why kids canot have their own but it may be to keep some privacy for both families. Good luck on all your things you are working on. Also yea on getting a better place for the kids. Way to go. GAL's can be very good.

My question to all is what exactly is a GAL?? Just someone who watches both families and make reports?? Can this happen when we are all in different states??
I think that the basement thing is nuts. (the way i was raised, i guess) If there are ROOMS in the basement then that is one thing, I am picturing just a cement floor and unfinished walls with some beds or mattresses thrown down there..... I would definitly be terribly upset at that. Just my opinion though....

A GAL (Guardian Ad Litem) is essentially an attorney appointed to represent the children. They gather information from both homes, they talk to the children and they give the children a voice in court. A GAL won't necessarily recommend to the judge that the children go live with the parent who has the "best" living conditions. They will simply find out if the living conditions for the children is unsuitable and if it needs a change. If the ncp has much better living conditions than the cp, but the cp conditions are suitable for the children, the GAL won't recommend a change. They tell the judge what the children's feelings are based on their meetings with them and give a report of both living conditions and make a recommendation to the court.

p.s. I found a definition for you:
Guardian Ad Litem:
A person appointed by the court only to take legal action on behalf of a minor or an adult not able to handle his/her own affairs.
Ad Litem: legal Latin meaning "for the purposes of the legal action only."

It happens a lot; you should talk to a local attorney to find out if the appeals process would be more fruitful for you. The thing you may be forgetting is the standard is the best interest of the child and not the father's ability to provide a better home and more comforts. Maybe you did not approach the arguments properly focusing on technicalities and not the standard, the best intersest of the child.