Ill warn u ahead of time, this is a very strange scenario.

We live in MD and the the biological father lives in FL. He is willing to give up his rights under certain *stipulations*. My daughter is 4 years old. My husband of 2 years would love to adopt my daughter, the father is involved but only calls maybe twice a year and pays child support a few months a year but always pays half the amount.

My first question would be..can there even be "stipulations".

Alot of the stipulations is if I die, he wants his rights back an wants custody. He refused to agree to my husband having custody If I do die in the next 14 years. However, my sister would like to have custody of her if I die and he did not agree to give them to her but did agree to whatever immediate family at the time is more financially stable will get custody after a judge determines financiality. If judge determines my immediate family (blood relatives, not Hubby) is more financially stable, then my sister can get custody. Could this even work? OH, until the judge decides, she would remain with my husband.

If abuse is found and documented he wants rights back.

In the event my hubby and I divorce, he wants his rights back and will resume child support.


He says at this time he cannot be responsible for her and he hopes that my husband will be a good daddy to her. He says he believes this decision is in my daughters best interest. However, he firmly believes she should be with a blood family member so if I ever die, then we have problems.


My next question is..if this happens and a judge agrees to this. What if when im still alive and the bio father has no rights...me and my husband decide that we want to make a couple godparents or legal guardians? Or can my family fight for her from her bio father if I die. I worry about this cause I KNOW her father would not take care of her if I die. He will not sign over his parental rights without these stipulations. Wierd huh?

Any input appreciated greatly! Thanks in advance :)

Under those things a judge won't grant those things... either dad gives up total rights or he doesn't. He can't make those demands and if he is then he's not ready to give up rights and a judge won't grant them under those circumstances.

As far as if you were to die, you can express your wishes in a will but you can't 'will' your kids or 'say' who gets them when you die. If your husband adopts your child he will retain custody as he will legally be the child's father. If your husband doesn't adopt then the biological father will gain custody of the child and family would likely have to fight in Florida which has stood firm against third party visitation and custody.

Termiantion is termination when the court signs off on it. You should address who gets your child in the event of your death in a will where you nominate a guardian.
It is a tough call as to whether a court would terminate parental rights because there is some contact and not total abandonment, but may not be in the best interst of the child to not terminate- so a close call and gray area. I suggest discussing the matter with local legal counsel.