the ex and I do not have a custody agreement (yet). for 3 years we pretty much have been able to work it out ourselves. (he has kids 2 evenings a week plus every other weekend. He doesn't work much in the summer so he takes kids overnight and I have the 2/3 evenings and every other weekend - saves on daycare costs).

He now started this job assignment (for approx. 3-4 months) - 6 or 7 days a week/10 hrs shifts - evenings.

He was ticked because this is technically my weekend and we have plans Sunday and he wanted to see the kids since he didn't get to see them during the week. (kids in school during the day and he works evenings) (not my fault - he took this job assignment knowing the shift)

He said next weekend during his weekend, i need to make sure the kids are available for him on Sunday only between 2-4. He won't pick them up until 2:00 and wants to return them at 4:00 pm. Would a court enforce this? Ruins a whole day for me. Next assignment he may work 5 days a week and only 8 hrs. His job is so inconsistent and very frustrating as I can never make plans as I never know when he will have the kids or if I will.
I am not complaining that I have the kids on "his time" but hate that I have to schedule my day around his 2 hrs.

I am thinking of going to court anyhow as I want the kids for Thanksgiving dinner this year since my sister and her family will be visiting (1st time in 7 yrs) and he doesn't want to switch off. (i usually have kids in mornings of the holiday and he had evenings but it was suppose to switch off but it just worked better this way).

Does anyone else have experience with ex working different shifts. I feel like I have to tip toe around his schedule. I know work is important but I don't think I should have to sit at home all waiting on him. Just wondering how courts look at this.

thanks (sorry for the long post)

My ex. would take the kids every other weekend for 2 hours. His shift did not change like your ex's is . Since you have been getting along pretty good then be honest with him Say you do understand how it must be frustrating for him to not see the kids and you do want to keep working things out for the best for everyone. Then say you will try to work around his schedule as much as you can but if he could do the same and not have too many surprises then it would be nice. Understand his situation and then ask him to understand yours. Ask him how far in advance he knows his schedule so you can figure this out together. If you can be as considerate as possible and let him know you are trying to make see that he has the kids as often as possible and building up some good will maybe he will change the Thanksgiving schedule. I can't see going to court and wasting lots of money and causing a lot of ill will when you both seem to be acting like adults. This schedule will not go one for years it seems like so maybe dealing with it for awhile might be the best thing. I hope this helps.

the ex and I do not have a custody agreement (yet). for 3 years we pretty much have been able to work it out ourselves. (he has kids 2 evenings a week plus every other weekend. He doesn't work much in the summer so he takes kids overnight and I have the 2/3 evenings and every other weekend - saves on daycare costs).
He said next weekend during his weekend, i need to make sure the kids are available for him on Sunday only between 2-4. He won't pick them up until 2:00 and wants to return them at 4:00 pm.....Would a court enforce this?... Ruins a whole day for me......His job is so inconsistent and very frustrating as I can never make plans as I never know when he will have the kids or if I will.... I am not complaining that I have the kids on "his time" but hate that I have to schedule my day around his 2 hrs..... I am thinking of going to court anyhow as I want the kids for Thanksgiving dinner this year since my sister and her family will be visiting (1st time in 7 yrs) and he doesn't want to switch off....Does anyone else have experience with ex working different shifts? I feel like I have to tip toe around his schedule. I know work is important but I don't think I should have to sit at home all waiting on him. Just wondering how courts look at this.

So you went to court initially and agreed that you would work the visitation out, or you've never been to court regarding visitation?

Let me say that I am in a similar situation. My ex works 2nd shift, 3pm-11pm, and 7 days a week (except in the slow season). He picks his son up when he feels like it. On his weekend, he doesn't get my son on Friday because of his work then I have to call him and let the phone ring a hundred times just to wake him up to see if he's going to take any Saturday visitation. When he finally gets out of bed and gets to my house, it's about 10am. Then he drops him back off at 2pm. He does the same thing on Sunday if he feels up to it.
So I have to plan my days around him as well. I get very sick of it! My lawyer once told me (when I first got divorced) that if my ex wasn't there within 30 minutes of the pick up time then I didn't have to give my son to him at all and I wouldn't be in contempt. That would be great except for the fact that my child is getting older and he loves spending time with his dad and he knows exactly what weekends he gets to go over there so when his dad doesn't show up, he is in tears. That again leaves me trying to make up for his father's laziness, which is why I call him to come and get him when I shouldn't have to.

There's really nothing you can do about your ex not following the visitation, especially if there wasn't ever really anything to follow. Even if there was there's still nothing you can do except to keep your child from him and then you could be facing contempt.

If I were you, I would have a parenting plan drawn up that suits both of your schedules (if its possible) so that you don't have any issues come up in the future. If you have one, he doesn't have to switch his holiday with you if he doesn't want to.

You may want to look at the state child custody guidelines, but it is best if the parties can work it out among themselves. I think if this is a big concern, put together a parenting agreement and ask it to be approved by the court pursuant to a court order and negotiate holidays.

sorry - PC issues and didn't get back on til today....

we never went to court yet as we did work it out ourselves. But lately, he thinks he can take the kids whenever he wants to - even if it is "my" weekend". And when he does take them, he only wants about 2 hours. UGH. We got back early from the train show yesterday and the kids called and called him - he never returned the call. shows how much he really did want to see him.