In my situation, I got divorced in Hi about 13 years ago. I have joint custody , but my ex-wife is supposed to be the primary care giver. I have had my 2 daughters from the very beginning since the divorce. They are now 16 and 17. My ex-wife hasn't seen the children but 3 times and maybe talked a dozen times since the divorce. She hasn't given any support to the children at all. On the original decree, I was supposed to pay child support, but since I had the kids, I didn't. Out of ignorance of the law, I haven't fought to get full custody. My question is, can I get full custody of the kids and can I get back child support for the years I had them?

In my situation, I got divorced in Hi about 13 years ago. I have joint custody , but my ex-wife is supposed to be the primary care giver. I have had my 2 daughters from the very beginning since the divorce. They are now 16 and 17. My ex-wife hasn't seen the children but 3 times and maybe talked a dozen times since the divorce. She hasn't given any support to the children at all. On the original decree, I was supposed to pay child support, but since I had the kids, I didn't. Out of ignorance of the law, I haven't fought to get full custody. My question is, can I get full custody of the kids and can I get back child support for the years I had them?

Unfortunately, you are in quite a mess. You really need to file to modify custody and child support.

Is your ex willing to agree to forgive the CS that you have owed but not paid? I hope so, since you never modified the CS order, LEGALLY you haved been charged and owe all those years of CS.

It is going to be a complicated process to clear it all up, so you will really need to hire an attorney to help you. Good luck.
Xena

I dont think you are in that BIG of a mess. Since you have had your children since day one - you'll need to prove that in court to relieve you of any support owed from the original decree.

First though - since your wife was never the Primary Care Giver - I would file for temporary primary custody. I believe you could indicate abandonment in there somewhere since she hasn't seen them in years.

Then get yourself a lawyer to have the papers finalized.

Good luck....

~peace~

First, you need to go to court and have the initial order chaged to include your sole custody of the children for all these years and notate that you have not received any child support during this time, and the mother's sporadic contact with the kids. Chances are you cannot get back support, but after you get the custody order modified to reflect the situation, you should be able to seek support going forward. You should consult a HI attorney.