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Last week, Hurricane Rita roared into the Texas Gulf Coast. Like fools, my husband, my 83 disabled mom and I went to my in-law's. It was worse than any force 6 hurricane could have been. For years, Nell and I have not got along. This trip, she began calling me all sorts of horrible names, and making awful accusations against me that are simply scurrilous lies. Since we were packed and ready to head home, I got my mom, and started pushing her wheelchair to the door. Nell came rushing after me, continuing to cuss me out, continuing to call me horrendous names. Finally, she started saying she was going to slap me in the face. I guess I laughed, and she started slapping me, four, five, six times. At the end of it, my mom looking horrified by the entire 'low white trash scene' unfolding before her, Nell decided she had not got a big enough result, and suddenly dumped a glass of ice water on me. As I lost my balance, and sputtered to catch my breath, she 'cold cocked' me twice on the right side of my face. I then reached up, intending to push her back from me. My father-in-law told me I shoved her down. All I know is that I was finally defending both myself and my 83 year old mom with severe osteoarthritis, and who weighs a whopping 92 pounds. I was very afraid if I fell on Mom, I'd kill her. I then wheeled Mom out, got her in the car, and left. Two blocks down the street, I stopped a cop, who said it was obvious I had been assaulted. I did not realize then I had a big red mark on my cheek, and my right eye was blackening. He directed me to the police to make a report. I drove down there, but the doors were all locked (go figure!) so I called them and made a report. Admitted after she had repeatedly hit me, I hit her, and offered to turn myself in. They said no problem, just get myself home and take care of myself.

Before I left, my father-in-law (who the family has feared has been abused by Nell for years) straight out told me if I filed an assault charge, he would take her to the hospital and "you'll be sorry, you little b---."

Yesterday, I saw my family doctor, who was horrified my by two black eyes, broken nose, and fears I broke the eye socket below my right eye where she pummelled me. I also have a significant knot on my cervical spine, which she wants x-rayed, because I have long standing neck problems, and she fears Nell may have fractured the vertebrae. I am post hyperparathyroid surgery, and have hypocalcemia, so my bones are a bit fragile.

I find I can't sleep and periodically just break into tears. Our adopted daugthter, who will raise her hands over her head as if to ward off being hit, saw me do that for the first time Sun. night. She said, "Now you know how I feel."

I am a family law specialist in Alvin, Texas. have canceled my appts. at court for Tuesday due to the black eyes and need for further med treatment.


My father-in-law even had the nerve to call my husband and ask if I faked my injuries. Frankly, i am just plain not courageous enough to break my own bones. Oh, and by the way, please excuse my typing. She also damaged my right eye, and I am having a lot of trouble seeing to type. And,. my neck is hurting something awful.

Question is, and I know I should not have to ask it, should I get a protective order? The photos of me are horrific. I still have a horrible headache, and have been accused of having sex with everyone from my secretary (who is 64 years old and even if I were gay, not my type), to my two biological sons and my adopted daughter.

I know Gary (my husband) has told me for years he has very few memories before age 10. One of them was his mother locking him -- yes, locking him!!!! -- in the closet when he was 'bad'. He liked it there. he kept a pillow and a quilt in the closet, as well as some toys. When mom went 'wild', he enjoyed the peace and quiet in the closet.

I don't want to hide in a closet.

I primarily practice family law, but I don't know what to do this time. Any suggestions? Frankly, I just want to run away and never see those people again.

Nell Middleton lives on Park Street in Bay City, Matagorda, Texas. We live in Alvin, Texas.

Can't write anymore, it hurts my head too much.

Brokhearted, for myself as well as my husband and my children,

Sharon Middleton
skmiddleton@sbcglobal.net
281=331=3325

As a family law specialist, you already know what you need to do, but I suspect that you need some encouragement to get started.

For not only your sake, but also for your kids' sakes, you have to file for a protective order. It is the ONLY way that you'll be able to protect yourself, your kids and your mother from further physical harm. Also, now is the best time to do it because you have so much compelling evidence, and as an attorney, you know that everything in court comes down to evidence.

How does your husband feel about you filing? Hopefully he'll be understanding. But if he isn't, don't worry about it too much because he's had many more years of dealing with his mother than you have, and "covering up" or denial may be the only way that he can cope with it.

It will also help you a whole lot to get into counseling. From what you describe, you are most likely suffering from situational depression and possibly post traumatic stress. The PTS may be from the assault, the hurricane or both, and right now there's alot of help available for counseling. ( I know about that because last year our town was hit by 3 hurricanes and the last one destroyed our home- there were counselors available everywhere).

I hope that I've helped you, and if you need to talk or just "vent" you can send me a private message, as I am on this site every day. Good luck.
Xena :)

It sounds like your husband is very supportive, which is wonderful. I know it's hard to put your family thru this, but it really can't be worse than what they've already been thru.

If the Dr.s are correct, and your MIL does have dementia, this will help everyone, including her. Hang in there, and as I said, if you need to vent- you can send me a PM.
Xena :)

I filed the protective order today. The Judge who signed the ex parte protective order said he wasn't sure she had dementia or if she's just a mean old ***** -- testing would tell -- but I sure got the **** kicked out of me. (I swear, he said it!)

Two of the lawyers at the courthouse saw the photos and both offered to handle the hearing for me. One is my best friend, the other is the son of a former district court judge. Hard to go wrong with either, and I think I want someone helping me that day.

My husband remains supportive, but bless his heart, he's pretty stressed out. His blood pressure has been pretty high since all this happened. The doc put him on some new meds.

I'm going to locate a therapist to work on this, to help me let go. I tell people all the time they have to let go of the evil and get on with their lives. It's harder than I ever imagined. Gary says I'm obsessing, and he's right.

And, my poor little old mom. Can't sleep at night cause she sees me getting beaten up and she couldn't help me. Had an anxiety attack this morning so bad she was sure she was having a heart attack, which fortunately, she was not having.

My younger son is quite supportive, and told me to file the PO. My older son 'doesn't want to get involved'. My daughter just shakes.

My husband says he's going to see if BP is hiring in Iraq. It would be safer than Texas!

Sharon
I'm so glad that things are improving for you and you have so much support from family and others.
I'm also glad that you're going to get counseling. I'm bi-polar and I know just how much good counseling can do.
You are in my prayers.
Xena :)

Sharon
I'm really glad that you have all this support and you can count me in on your team, I had a MIL very similar, only she would tell her son to beat the crap out of me. I live right between you and your MIL. I do believe I even know who she is. (small world), Just my opinion she has been nuts for years, I do not know how your husband turned out so well. Hang in there lady, it will get better, and have some satisfaction in the knowledge, that this woman has been allowed do treat people how ever she felt like, and you are the one to put an end to it. Good luck and stay strong, always a shoulder here if you need it, same goes for the rest of you folks, we all have to stick up for ourselves and each other, because no one else will, we know what the pain is like so we understand each other.

Well it is up to you. Talk to your husband. There is a lot of stress connected with families being holed up, but this is extreme.
I don't know what to tell you because there is no real way out in the sense that it is you versus them, and numerically there are more of them. IF you had pictures or a police report or emergency room or medical report, you have a chance but otherwise, I suggest that you talk to your husband and talk to legal counsel who can be objective. There may be soem kind of civil action that you can pursue if you do not want to pursue criminal charges and you can ask for reimbursement of therapy costs and for damages relating to the stress, inability to work, and any alienation of affections between you and youtr husband and possibly disruption of family life, but under the circumstances of the hurricane and the stress, it may be hard to get a recovery though any recovery would likely come out of the mother in law's homeowner's insurance liability coverage
Consult an attorney locally to get more ideas