Me and my husband have battled his ex for 6 yrs. They have 2 kids. We live in Fl. She's in Ky. He pays child support, but doesn't get visitation. and now she went before a judge and said she hasnt heard from him in 2-3 yrs and wants to give the children her maiden name. The judge did. If he doesnt have visitation and they dont even have his name anymore, why should he still pay child support???? Any suggestions on what to do? :mad:

Me and my husband have battled his ex for 6 yrs. They have 2 kids. We live in Fl. She's in Ky. He pays child support, but doesn't get visitation. and now she went before a judge and said she hasnt heard from him in 2-3 yrs and wants to give the children her maiden name. The judge did. If he doesnt have visitation and they dont even have his name anymore, why should he still pay child support???? Any suggestions on what to do? :mad:

Why didn't your husband go to court to get a visitation order?

Was your husband served with any notice of mother's intent to change name or a court hearing?

When was the last time your husband spoke to his kids or thier mother?

I'll try to make a long story short: He was current on his child supp. We started dating, she stated that if he wasnt with her, she would make it impossible to be comfortable with anyone else. They had gotten back together for one year - before we met - after their divorce. When we got together she took him to court for that year's child support. 8000.00. the judge said he should have reported that he was back in the house, he didnt know that. She got a warrant for non payment - keep in mind - he was current at the time. He was thrown in jail for 30 days, (we lived in a very small town & she works at the court house) he lost his job, then he was behind on the current amount. We went thru this for years, in and out of jail. Finally, we moved. We started sending the child support to her attorney. We even sent copies to the judge. The judge dropped the warrant. Since then, she took the kids to court and stated that she hasnt heard from him, they said he abandoned them, and revoked visitation, then the judge (different judge than the one we were dealing with) said normally both parents consent are needed to change the last name, but since they dont know where he is, they did it anyway. I talk to the exwife on a monthly basis. He talks to the kids occassionally. She has worked the system unfairly and I dont know what to do. ( Not such a short story, huh?)

He needs to go to the court and provide them with his side of the case and file to have what the wife did reversed. I also suggest seeing if he has visitation and if so, try to exercise it, or go get it restored. Explain that the Mom has systematically kept the kids away from you and only wants your money and not your involvement with the kids. Also, you may want to say that she did not serve you with the papers to have visitation revoked and the child's name changed and pursue your own action to have visitation restored and the child's name changed back based on her not serving you and giving you notice so you could respond in court.

I agree with elklaw, your husband needs to go to court to have the orders reversed. In order to do that successfully he'll need to prove to the court that he WASN'T served the notices for court- the orders can then be reversed on the basis that his right to be heard was denied.

He'll also need anything and everything he can get to prove that he did have contact with mom and kids- phone bills, letters, he can subpoena mom's phone records, etc.

He really needs to go after his visitation rights, both him and his kids have been hurt by the mother- his kids aren't going to stand up to thier mom for themselves, so dad will have to do it for them.

Can this be done long distance? We really dont want to go back to Ky. She has munipulated the system so many times, and had him arrested unjustly. He really doesnt want to go there.

Can this be done long distance? We really dont want to go back to Ky. She has munipulated the system so many times, and had him arrested unjustly. He really doesnt want to go there.

The situation is complicated enough that he really needs to be in court, in person. He can try finding an attorney to represent him, but you have to remember, the ex is saying that he never makes any effort to see or talk to kids. He'll have to convince the Judge that he really tries, and one of the best ways to get that point across to a Judge is to be in front of him/her after making the long distance journey.

Edit: He really needs an attorney also, because he's up against alot of apparent bias.