My fiancee has been divorced for 2 years. He pays all of his ex's bills
(and I mean all), insurance, medicine, private school for his 2 children, any music, singing lessons, and 500 bucks a week to boot. I could go on, but you get the point. He agreed to all of this because he hoped that she would let him see his children as often as he wanted to. His business has not gone as well in the last year, but as I understand, that makes no difference in a settlement. His lawyer did not specify what is alimony and what is child support. So, he cannot claim any on his taxes.

The real problem is this. His ex has completely turned his children away from him. He can barely get them to talk to him on the phone. They never call unless they need something (money). They are 17 and 15 and still go the beauty salon with their mother. This summer she finally got a job and she takes them with her!!! They help around the restaurant without getting paid. When their father suggested they may want a paying job, they say their mother needs them.
I am afraid of what might be going on there. The boys never have friends over, they never go to friends houses. They are almost always together. The oldest went to the prom with a date and took his mother. Needless to say, he hasn't heard from her again. The oldest son is a very likeable person, but something bad has got to be going on.
The last thing that just about pushed my fiance over the boat was the oldest asking to borrow $100.00 dollars to take a girl on a special date. He agreed to loan the money but only if he went without his mother. Well, guess what, we found out later that not only was his mother going but his brother too.
What can my fiancee do about any on this? I think he needs some counseling to help him deal with the boys. His ex is just crazy, we know that, but in the end its the boys that she is hurting.

She has told the boys many stories about their father that simply isn't true but they believe their mother. Somehow she has convinced them that she is sitting at the right hand of God.

This is divorce poison at its best.

If she is not allowing visitation, go file for modification with the court and seek a contempt citation against the mother. Tell the judge that you know something is going wrong with his kids, but he cannot get access to counsel them and parent them because his ex is not being cooperative in allowing reasonable access to the children even though he pays more than he has to in support and financially provides for the kids. Have him explain to the judge that to him, being a father is not just about financially providing everything and that he sees that his influence as a father is needed to ensure that his kids do not turn the wrong way. And if he has space in his home, ask for custody of the children if he believes that is needed, or at least very liberal visitation to include a few evenings a week and weekends and the ability to attend and be involved with school decisions and school acvitity decision regarding the kids. I think most judges would applaud a father trying to be a father and realizing it goes beyond just money.