Any advice would be appreciated. I have been divorced 2 years; in TN; 2 children in joint custody. In the 2 years, I've had to spend over $20,000 dealing with legal issues related to the divorce. My ex refused to fill out a quit claim deed signing the house over to me, even though it was in the divorce decree. More seriously, he has ignored all attempts to get him to reimburse me half of our children's medical expenses. One child has serious medical disorders. The divorce decree mandates that I carry the insurance and that he reimburse me within 30 days after I submit the medical bills to him. The bills all come to me because the insurance is in my name, and the medical providers consider me responsible, no matter whether I show the the divorce decree or not. I have to pay the medical bills, or they turn me over to a collection agency. I have been harassed by collections people and am struggling to pay all of these bills. To give you an idea, my medical bills out of pocket, even with the insurance have run over $1,000 every month this year.

Right after the divorce, I hired an attorney to help me with post-divorce issues such as this. In a year, they billed me $15,000 and went to 1 mediation in which property was divided by an arbitrator (Yeah, I know, the judge divorced us but didn't divide property-- that took another YEAR to get resolved). The hearing took an hour.

A year ago, I fired him and hired another attorney. In a year, my only request has been for her to file a contempt petition against my ex. This seems to be the only way to collect his half of the medical bills, since the divorce decree doesn't set out a set amount to be paid per month-- just half of the medical / dental expenses. The attorney I hired delayed 6 months in writing the petition. Six months later she still has not set the petition to be heard-- so it's been about a year since I hired her. I have called and emailed relentlessly. She said she would set it for April when I talked to her in March, but she didn't. Now she says it was because I had an outstanding balance of about $800. Of course, if I hadn't had to wait all these months to just get my hearing set, I would have the money to pay her. As is, I'm deciding between food and medicine these days.

She now says she'll set it, but blames me for the delay, even though she never told me she wasn't going to set the petition to be heard. I've paid her about $4,000 already. I'm worried that she will just bill me outragiously, and I don't know if it's acceptable for an attorney just to stop moving your case forward without telling you like this.

I have 2 kids who are really hurting because of this. THey have been denied medical care because I couldn't pay one of their doctor's bills by myself anymore.

I make too much money to qualify for legal services. My problem is that one of my children and I have serious medical problems, and that is eating up over 25% of what I make. Legal services has told me they can't take that into account.

Can you help me undestand...
1. Is this 2nd attorney's behavior in not setting this contempt petition to be heard because I had an outstanding bill without telling me this acceptable behavior? It seems like she should have at least told me she was doing that. She claims she sent me an email to that effect, but I have no such email and when I asked her to send me a copy of it, she ignored me.
2. Do these fees for a contempt petition seem excessive? I'm going under.
3. Can you see any alternative way I can get him to pay? I can't represent myself; I am frankly afraid of him and his attorney.
4. Are there any resources to help with this problem with the attorney? I am afraid I can't come up with a retainer for another attorney, and I'm just afraid if I did, they would be just as nonresponsive.

This problem is consuming my life-- I'm having a hard time managing financially and struggling for medical services. Not to mention the time I spend preparing lists of medical bills for my ex which he never responds to.

Try to contact a local or state bar association to see if your case can be handlede pro bono or thru an attorney with a sliding scale. I do not know what to tell you because as a practical matter this is a time intensive case, but at a certain point you need to do the math-- you are spending money to collect the amount you are trying to collect. Does that make sense? You may be better off getting a legal pad and doing it yourself and not racking up legal fees. You can seek to have your former husband pick up the legal fees since he is causing delay and ask the court for that because he has caused t he delay, but given your situation, you may need to address this differently. Also, maybe give the health provider your husband or his attorney's information so they can be billed for half and you not for everything.