I am 20 years old and expecting a baby in September. I have a really rocky relationship with my baby's father. He is 28 years old and has 3 children from previous relationships. He has lied, cheated, and verbally abused me. After finding out I was pregnant and telling him, out came a bunch of lies and secrets he had been trying to keep from me. I found out that he had other children from other women, besides the 1 child that I actually knew about. He told me that he just had 1 child from his previous marriage. I just recently found out that he is not even divorced yet. He lives several states away from his ex...but he is still married. I was devestated to say the least about all of the lies and secrets and am really worried about the kind of person he is and the kind of influence he would be to my daughter. He is NOT the person I thought he was at all.
We aren't really together, as we are always fighting and arguing, but I've tried to remain as friendly as possible since he IS the man who helped to create this baby.

I am confused on issues such as custody, parental rights, child support, etc and could really use as much advice as possible. I do not want the baby having his last name. If he does sign the birth certificate, what all does that entitle him to? Does that give him the same parental rights that I would have, etc? Would I be better off not having him sign the birth certificate? And as far as child support, is there any way to get child support and not have him involved?

Any advice is appreciated! Thanks!!!

I cannot tell you what to do. I suggest talking with a pastor or family counselor to try to sort things out, or a trusted friend. no one knows how he will react to the child. You may want to pursue child support. I think it may be wise to go to court to make sure you have sole custody of the child if he is not going to be involved. Sometimes, guys try to threaten custody to avoid child support. You really need to talk to someone who can help you sort out your feelings, thoughts and emotions and get a plan together for your life with the baby.

My advice to you is to not let him sign the birth certificate. This way he has no legal rights and it does not show that he is the father. The only down side to this is that if you decide to go after him for child support, they will have you establish paternity by either a test or papers saying that he is the father. Then after paternity is established he could try to take you to court so he can start seeing his child. My best advice to you is to think about what you would be briniging this child into if you stayed with this guy. It would be a world full of lies and hurt for your child. As for the child having his last name, you do not have to give your child his last name as long as he does not sign the birth certificate. Think about your child and ask yourself one question," Would I want to be raised by a man like this?" If you answered no then have the courage to raise your kid by yourself and in the future if he offers to be there encourage a positive attitude towards their relationship. If he does not offer that to your child then recomend to him that your child would be best suited for him to not be around. Also, don't be afraid to raise this child on your own. You can do it. It's obvious you can because you are already seeking wisdom on how to give your child a bright and positive future! Keep your head up and everything will work out!