Hi this is my first time here and I do not know how long I will be able too stay in contact with this forum. I am 45 years old and I live with my 28 year old husband and my mother (63) who has resided with us for at least a month now. I married this young man out of prison whom of which served 10 years max: we wrote each other for 2 consecutive years upon my meeting him. I thought I could trust the things he told me helping me with my debts and being here for me. On 2 separate occassions this man has hit me, I called his parole officer 2 times and on each time I called the first he did nothing and the second he asked how I was doing. My husband said I was wrong and that I didn't care about his freeedom,he abuses me by telling me I have nothing and that there are some things I can't do for my self . This man has only paid for a dvd player and for minors things in this household like $100 towards rent ;when rent is $275.00 (thats not half )and $200 on a transmission (that isn't the right trans for the car) Partical payments on some of the bills, mostly what he can. Some of these things a man is suppoed to do. He doesn't help with anything aroound the apartment very lazy; he may take the annitative toow ash dishes every now and then thats only cause mom is here. He takes my car too work and I sit here 9 he hit someones car and didn't tell me my grand son did He wasn,t goin to tell me anything had I not asked. When I did he tried too le a 10 year child will not lie about such things.And tells me the car is as much his as it is mines . He didn't pay for this car I di. This man Had nothing when he move here nothing but a box full of paper and a color portable TV. I can't go back too work for fear they will cut my socail security; which they already have! When he's home most of his time is spent either talking on the phone to everyone in his family or trying too find a way to avoid me by watching sexually eplicit movies on the dvd player or buying something too drink and sexually abusing and/ or forcing me too have sex with him in ways I wish not too.In other words he's not paying me any attention. I lost my job but it doesn't matter because I am on social security and I don't want to loose my income . He states he had somewhere too go ( as far as moving in with me) but instead he came here there is only 1 time I can recall anyone in his family support him since our marriage on March 26, 2005. He left once too go home and didn't spend 2 minutes with me just left and didn't leave me dime and I laid here sick. ( You don't just pack and leave whenever you want when your married) My mother has been here for a month and see the truth and know what I am going through. I am not a person who drinks party or is lazy. I am and was a christain woman with strong morals and beliefs; he will not participate with me me too accompany me ith my friends ;after they were there for our wedding but will not allow me to participate with his either. Whom of which he really doesn't know. I don't have a desire too go anywhere with him cause the only place he wants too take me is around HIS family in chicago. I go; I have family in Indiana but when I go there it's like there is a problem. I have noticed that it's like he really doesn't want to be in this marriage and he is just here I feel he only married me to keep me quiet ;his family doesn,t talk to me and i found letter where his sister tells him not too trust his girlfriend before I become his wife. His family doesn't like me! . Yesterday had not my mother been here he would of hurt me over some thing that I said about someone else; in front of my family he said too me F you and my mother was lying right there . He gossips on the phone about everyones business and tells me I am bothering him. I dont have anywhere I can go becuse I cant leave my mother here for shes ill. I need some kind of help here It is 6:56 a.m. here in Rock Island Illinois and I can't sleep for fear he may hurt me. I sleep on the floor in our bedroom. When I say for fear he may hurt I wake and I am hurting. I suffer with pain in my left arm and I didn't hurt my self . Please help me I am not complainiong I am trying too tell some one whats happening too me. Please help !

You got yourself into this and you have to get yourself out. What you need to do is simple-- go file for legal separation or divorce, and kick him out of the house. Call the police if needed, though if you file for legal separation or divorce, seek an emergency hearing because of the abuse and issuance of an order of protection, no contact order, and an order of his removal from your home where you reside with your mother. If he does not go on his own, you can call the police to enforce and this could get him in trouble with the probation officer if he disobeys the order. Explain it is not working out, but he will not leave the home voluntarily and that you feel intimidated and afraid of him, and that you expected him to be more of a man in terms of helping to provide half and that is not happening, so you are facing that you made a mistake and need to correct that and move on. I think if you can be as non-personal as possible, then after this is initiated, you and your mother should move if possible to a location that he does not know about.

Hello
It's me Anetta
I was very surprised too get a response in such a short period of time. It's been 2 days he really hasn't said anything too me and for some odd reason it really doesn't t matter too me because I have felt trapped for some time now and I'm don trying. I really appriciate your responding too my post;I don't know if i'll be able too go for a separation or a divorce due to fiances but I can try. Being lonely is my problem but being in love with someone isn't easy either.H eplayed with my feelings and now he has crushed how I feel like it's nothing too him. I'm not going too feel sorry for myself ;but I do feel hurt and thats going too take some time for me too get over.2 times and it didn't work for me .Maybe marriage isn't for me.
I really thought that I had someone too love me and a lot of people told me too be careful . People always say be careful what you ask for. I certainly didn't ask for this! I truly care for this child, for( he is not a man )had I known it was just a ploy for him too have a place too stay and not truly help me, he'd not be here.Played on my intelligence! I told him not too come.He never listened or had respect for authority, what was I thinking ! I don't want too waste anyones time here, but I'm hurt ! He told me that there was no us and all because I told him the person whom of which he was speaking too on the phone was a trouble maker. Never truly love me if he can call me names and disrespect me all at the same time. Love doesn't hurt nobody!
The best thing for me too do is too go my own way! Lord God Help Me ! Please pray I find my way and that I will be happy for I was content before this man stared bothering me. Someone would be glad too have me regardless of my disability. Sad my mother says. Down right unaprreciative!
Thanks! I shall proceed with caution. O and last night he slept on the floor. I tried too be nice yesterdayas angry as I am and the only thing I did was responded when he did say something too me other wise I just kept my mouth shut. Some people are so cruel and tell me why would any body think they could profit anything in life by hurting someone in the process? Thanks again and god bless you in what ever your goin thru. I will always remember you.

I would like to know if there is a way for others not too read your post unless they become members and or sign in. I don desire for my husband too see where Ive been on the computer it is my right too privacy. Contact please.