My situation is a bit at a standstill. I have not sought legal representation due to the price that goes with it, so I'm hoping some guidance here is helpful.

My ex-wife and I have 2 kids (both under 10 yrs old). Our relationship started slipping after I found out twice that she had been spending all our money on gambling and she was stealing from her employer. While the marriage grew more distant emotionally, I became close to one of her friends (don't judge), but we kept our relationship a secret. Anyway, My ex suggested we move to Idaho, where her family lives, to fix our marriage. So we moved to Idaho (after breaking it off with her friend) in hopes that things would improve. Six months later, things were not improving...just getting worse. I don't believe divorce is a solution to problems like this, but my ex wouldn't listen to me and wouldn't get help with her gambling problem (and she was caught slealing from her employer and prosecuted for it - she is currently paying restitution for that issue).

We divorced in June 2002 and I moved back to Oregon, despite leaving the kids with her. I only did that because I believed it would be less stressful for the kids. I have paid my child support for both children since and am staying current. I call and talk to the kids at my expense every week. I don't talk down about my ex to anyone (even my current fiancee), but I know for a fact that my ex does about me to her current husband and my kids. Last year my ex received a huge check from my refund and she said she let me see the kids that summer and she would pay for the trip. The week before the trip, she changed her mind. I haven't seen the kids at all since I left three years ago and haven't been able to make any trips there because of my small salary and I also support my fiancee, her 2 girls from a previous marriage and we have had 2 kids in the last 2 years.

The divorce decree states I have visitation rights, but there's a little statement from my ex in the decree that I can't take the kids to Oregon for a visit until I "reestablish a relationship" with my kids. I thought this was obsurd considering I still talk to them, send them Xmas and B-day presents, write them letters and postcards, etc.

I don't have a question and I apologize for the length of this post. I just need some guidance...please. If there's anything that isn't clear to you, let me know and I will clarify it.

Thanks in advance!

Edit: I just called the State of Idaho for a requistion for child support modification (they allow it every 3 years) because of all the people I support and I make less than I did in Idaho. They said the modification, if approved, would cost me $360.00....and that's without an atty.

Calling is a relationship if it happens regularly, so I think you know what you need to do, so just do it and stop wanting permission to do what you know you should do and can do with your parental rights under the order.