Just wondering if anyone can advise, I've posted on this forum before,
as I have a very long term relationship with an American citizen ( who
lives in FL ). I myself am British, I live and work in Britain and we
have spent the past few years visiting each other as often as possible.
We have discussed getting married and living together but all the
complex rules etc put me off and we have tried to be content with just
this long distance dating for many years now. We both have work
commitments and family ties and responsibilities in our separate
countries. However, we are soon to have our first child together, and I
feel awful now that we didn't sort this out better before, but I have no
idea what the rules are around either coming to the States to give birth
so my partner can share with me, or with him coming here for the time
being and then he is concerned whether the baby will have American
citizenship rights later on. He wants us there with him permanently,
obviously. It's all become very complicated! I wonder if anyone can
advise me *clearly* and concisely, because I get panicy and upset soon
as things start sounding too complex to understand...I'm worried that if
we start anything legal now and we have to wait months for decisions and
whatever the baby will be born before we have permission to see each
other again. And I would really like for us to be raising our baby
*together*. Can anyone advise?


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Hello!

Well....I myself had a similar problem....even worse,perhaps....So
unfortunately I know almost everything about what're
asking...My personal situation is somewhat different,but alike...I'm a
naturalized Israeli citizen who came to the US as a
visitor and got married there and we have a 1 yo daughter Savanna...On the
opposite ,it all was happening in New England (ME and VT).I lived in
NYC....We even had a DNA test done that came back over 99,98% positive.
Needless to same that we're now divorced and my ex-wife has a physical
custody of a child and I have shared parental rights and child support
obligations.Altogether I spent about 5,5 years in the US....
Since the immigration procedures in such cases in the US are extreamly
complicated and unlike in Israel (and possibly the UK) there're differences
in Law devision between federal Gov't (that has control over immigration)
and state Gov't that
controls family matters,it creates constant "Catches 22".
May be in your case it's somewhat easier if you're together ,BUT....1st of
all...the US DOESN'T recognize de facto marriages for Immigrational
purposes...it has to be OFFICIAL.In some states...like VT..don't know about
FL,but FL is a very old fashioned state.....so in VT they do have state
recognized de facto marriages for FAMILY matters ONLY.
But the problem is...it's not the STATE Gov.'t that issues an immigration
visa,it's the FEDERAL Gov't in DC.
If you didn't overstay your allowed time in the US,then I don't see why
there would be a problem of you visiting there...
But if an immigration officer sees you "very pregnant" and you want to
enter the US at that time..he/she could deny you the entry....and they
wouldn't listen who's the father of the child..esp. when you can't prove it
to them....
It probably would be easier to give birth in the UK where the US citizen dad
would be staying there...
As far as US citizenship goes....you can give birth on Mars...it wouldn't
matter...what would..is to establish paternity....
through either DNA testing or otherwise....then to report a birth of US
citizen overseas to US embassy.
And if one of child's parents is a US citizen,then the child gets the
citizenship anywhere....
What I would advise....is for you to get LEGALLY married first of
all..sooner the better.
After the birth of the child in the UK to establish paternity...if you're
married BY THEN,then DNA testing is no neccesary,but won't hurt either,'cos
american Family Courts assume that a child born not out of wedlock is
parties' child.
To report the birth to US mission in the UK and then to decide where you
both want to live..Europe or the US...
and act accordingly...and GET A LAWYER...and a good one....
So legally your question is not all that complicated...the most complicated
part is to stay together with your spouse before you get your GC...Americans
have a tendency to run away :-)

Alon.

I'll keep my opinions to myself here. :)

I would advise you to go to
the US Marriage Based Visas forum here on British Expats, and read the
root post about FAQ's. That should give you insight in your options.
Read it carefully and don't panic. Where's panic going to bring you? If
you're going to have a baby you'd better learn not to be all panicky
(oops, one opinion got away there). :)

I'm not trying to be mean, but
you need to calm down and sort things out for your kid's sake. Start by
reading the FAQ's.

Elaine


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

As you've been panicked for over 6 months and have not taken the
information given here 'on board'; what exactly is it you want to know?

You have to decide where the 2 of you want to live, then one of you
immigrates there.
Previously, you said you'd move to FL. Now that
you're pregnant, unless your man can easily add you to his health
insurance, you may be better off financially delivering in the UK where
it won't cost you anything (much, anyway).

There's basically 3 ways to
immigrate based on this relationship and all will require that you
marry. You can see a side by side comparison here:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?pg=compare


Clearly and concisely? The FAQs don't seem to agree with you, so your
USC should begin interviewing lawyers who are members of AILA
(immigration specific) and remove the panic and responsibility from the
equation. I'm sure you don't need those right now!


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

After reading Meauxna's reply I realized there must be some history...
then reading your past posts I see that 8 months ago, Meauxna gave you
the advice that I just gave you. Now I'm going to post what I didn't
post in my first reply.
Hun, you and your man need to get your act
together. Closing your eyes to the scary paperwork isn't gonna make it
go away. If you want to move to the US you're going to have to go
through it. If you can't handle it on your own, hire an attorny. But
please DO something... you've been scared about this for a while now and
especially with being pregnant, that's not good. Don't even start
thinking about doing it illegal... it will come back and bite you in the
*** down the road. You have a kid to think about now (well, almost).
If
he could move to the UK for a while and get residency there (I think
that doesn't take too long in the UK?), you can have your baby at home
with your NHS insurance and your partner by your side. Then y'all get
married, file an I-130 at the consulate for a CR1 visa (relatively fast
too) and you, him and the baby go home to the US together, as a happy
family. Oh and of course he reports the birth of the baby at the
consulate... the child will be a US citizen so no visa needed, only for
you.
I don't know when you're due but get your butts in gear... it's
NOT gonna go away, it will only get more complicated the longer you
wait.
Good luck and no more procrastinating :).
Elaine


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Hello,

I am a US immigration lawyer (also Canadian and UK) currently
living in London. Your problem is not so complicated and in fact is
quite a common dilemma.

If you would like legal advice, you ought to
get in touch with a lawyer rather than rely on various opinions.
Basically, you need to start the procedure in order to be together with
your child or you can opt to just be a visitor indefinitely.

Harris
Chawla
www.immigrationone.com

Originally posted by
Auspicion
Just wondering if anyone can advise, I've posted on this
forum before, as I have a very long term relationship with an American
citizen ( who lives in FL ). I myself am British, I live and work in
Britain and we have spent the past few years visiting each other as
often as possible. We have discussed getting married and living together
but all the complex rules etc put me off and we have tried to be content
with just this long distance dating for many years now. We both have
work commitments and family ties and responsibilities in our separate
countries. However, we are soon to have our first child together, and I
feel awful now that we didn't sort this out better before, but I have no
idea what the rules are around either coming to the States to give birth
so my partner can share with me, or with him coming here for the time
being and then he is concerned whether the baby will have American
citizenship rights later on. He wants us there with him permanently,
obviously. It's all become very complicated! I wonder if anyone can
advise me *clearly* and concisely, because I get panicy and upset soon
as things start sounding too complex to understand...I'm worried that if
we start anything legal now and we have to wait months for decisions and
whatever the baby will be born before we have permission to see each
other again. And I would really like for us to be raising our baby
*together*. Can anyone advise?


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Originally posted by noboundaries you ought to get in
touch with a lawyer rather than rely on various opinions.


Isn't that what everyone here told her?

Of course her situation isn't
complicated. But apparently they're not up to tackling it themselves.


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

"Auspicion" <member13821@british_expats.com> wrote in message
news:1348835.1081162825@britishexpats.com... Just wondering if anyone can advise, I've posted on this forum before, as I have a very long term relationship with an American citizen ( who lives in FL ). I myself am British, I live and work in Britain and we have spent the past few years visiting each other as often as possible. We have discussed getting married and living together but all the complex rules etc put me off and we have tried to be content with just this long distance dating for many years now. We both have work commitments and family ties and responsibilities in our separate countries. However, we are soon to have our first child together, and I feel awful now that we didn't sort this out better before, but I have no idea what the rules are around either coming to the States to give birth so my partner can share with me, or with him coming here for the time being and then he is concerned whether the baby will have American citizenship rights later on. He wants us there with him permanently, obviously. It's all become very complicated! I wonder if anyone can advise me *clearly* and concisely, because I get panicy and upset soon as things start sounding too complex to understand...I'm worried that if we start anything legal now and we have to wait months for decisions and whatever the baby will be born before we have permission to see each other again. And I would really like for us to be raising our baby *together*. Can anyone advise?

If you're not willing to get married, it's going to be very difficult for
you to live in either country together.

I would seriously reconsider that option, because it would be far and away
the simplest way for you to move to the states in your situation.

Lucy

Originally posted by Auspicion I have no idea what the
rules are around either coming to the States to give birth so my partner
can share with me, or with him coming here for the time being and then
he is concerned whether the baby will have American citizenship rights
later on. He wants us there with him permanently, obviously. It's all
become very complicated! I wonder if anyone can advise me *clearly* and
concisely, because I get panicy and upset soon as things start sounding
too complex to understand...I'm worried that if we start anything legal
now and we have to wait months for decisions and whatever the baby will
be born before we have permission to see each other again. And I would
really like for us to be raising our baby *together*. Can anyone advise?

The baby will have U.S. citizenship at birth, even if born
outside the U.S., especially if the father agrees that the child is his,
cooperates, and you can prove the relationship.

Here are the rules:

http://travel.state.gov/acquisition.html

After you have the
birth certificate and supporting evidence, you and/or the father would
go to the U.S. embassy and apply for a "Consular Report of Birth
Abroad."

As far as raising the child together when you both live in
different countries, well you both will have to practically figure out
how to do that on your own.


CP


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Thank you to everyone for your input. I think the lawyers point was
very good, thank you for that, I checked out your site too, and it
seems very positive. Made me feel slightly less worried.

I'm glad
that from a legal viewpoint it is not such a complicated issue, perhaps
it just seems so being inside it. It's all very well for anyone to
stand at the outside and say" you're making a real hash of this" but
ppl perhaps forget that there are real people and real relationships
behind the legalities that sound so forbidding.

I think I shall need
a lawyer to help deal with all this as it seems much more secure that
way and not half so intimidating.

I know I am guilty of
procrastination, but people forget the emotional impact of so much
change... it takes time for me to get my head round all of this. I have
been fortunate to have been able to be financially independent here due
to my own business, all my own hard work for many years now and of
course moving means giving all that up and starting from scratch again.
I've been able to help my partner and his family, long term
financially, which is one of the reasons doing things this way has
seemed acceptable for so long. The emotional issues are another. There
are many many marriages that could not survive a long term distant
separation as we have.

Of course I wouldn't think of doing things
illegally, I'm not trying to make a mess, but to straighten one out!!
I've never done an illegal thing in my life and I'm not about to start
now. I've never outstayed my visa waiver or used it for anything other
than tourism. Breaking the rules would just be plain silly.

I'm sure
that for some people all the FAQ's etc seem self explanatory but to me
the words start to merge the more I read and I just worry more and
more.

I would far rather give birth here than in the States, but
speaking with my partner I see his worries around that and do not feel
that I can push an issue he is uncomfortable with.

I have a hospital
appointment today for the baby, so after I have dealt with all that, I
can put my mind more clearly to this. I think I shall be of necessity,
seeking legal advice. Thank you all again for your help.


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Originally posted by Auspicion It's all very well for
anyone to stand at the outside and say" you're making a real hash of
this" but ppl perhaps forget that there are real people and real
relationships behind the legalities that sound so forbidding.


Honey, I sure hope you're not talking about me here because once you
hear my story you'll see that your case is nothing but simple.
If
Waxwabbit can do it then so can you. Good luck.


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Elaine, I have no idea why you would take anything of what I have said
personally. Certainly nothing personal was meant!

Originally
posted by HunterGreen Honey, I sure hope you're not talking
about me here because once you hear my story you'll see that your case
is nothing but simple.
If Waxwabbit can do it then so can you. Good
luck.


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Okay, thanks. My apologies btw. I'm not in a good mood at all and I took
it out on you a bit (because the things are kinda related). The good
luck was meant though :).


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

You're very welcome. No apology necessary. Thank you for the best wishes
and my own to you!!

I saw my baby on the ultrasound for the first time
today, saw little arms and legs moving, heard her heartbeat at last and
I had been so worried about everything and soon as I saw her I
thought... aww things will be fine :) That's my baby!! :)

Sending you
some of my good mood :) I could hug everyone in the whole world right
now.. lol Sharing this with you even before I've had chance to tell my
partner!!! lol

With love, Mary xxxx

Originally posted by
HunterGreen
Okay, thanks. My apologies btw. I'm not in a good mood
at all and I took it out on you a bit (because the things are kinda
related). The good luck was meant though :).


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Originally posted by Auspicion I saw my baby on the
ultrasound for the first time today, saw little arms and legs moving,
heard her heartbeat at last and I had been so worried about everything
and soon as I saw her I thought... aww things will be fine :) That's my
baby!! :)

That's cute :). I remember how I wasn't at ease
until I had counted both arms and legs. And then it was like you say -
as soon as you see the baby you know things will be fine (and they were
:)). I have one more question, because now I'm really curious... I know
I'm gonna be wondering about y'all now, lol... when's the baby due? (If
it's none of my business just say so... LOL).


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Posted via http://britishexpats.com

lol, no it's fine, I had thought I was 13 weeks, but the scan dates
today placed me at 11 weeks one day so I still have a good six months to
go :) Still not a lotta time in the run of things but now as you say..
there's a good chance the baby will be fine. I had been bleeding a
little so I was mega wound up and intensely worried but medically
everything looks great so that eases many of my worries :) My better
half will be at work until almost bedtime my time so I've just sent him
an email entitled " baby news" and inside I wrote.. " nahhh, I'm not
telling ya". So I know I'll get a phone call once he gets home... lol
Thank you for your interest :) Sending you a hug. Mary xxxx


Originally posted by HunterGreen
That's cute :). I
remember how I wasn't at ease until I had counted both arms and legs.
And then it was like you say - as soon as you see the baby you know
things will be fine (and they were :)). I have one more question,
because now I'm really curious... I know I'm gonna be wondering about
y'all now, lol... when's the baby due? (If it's none of my business just
say so... LOL).


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

LOL I'm sure he's loving that email... haha. I'm glad everything is okay
with the baby. Focus on the kiddo... if y'all can afford it just hire a
lawyer for the visa stuff so you don't have to think about that anymore.
The last thing you need is more worries. As long as the baby's fine,
that should be most important right now. :)

Best wishes!
Elaine :)


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Posted via http://britishexpats.com

hi Mary, these are indeed exciting times for you!

Originally
posted by Auspicion Thank you to everyone for your input. I
think the lawyers point was very good, thank you for that, I checked
out your site too, and it seems very positive. Made me feel slightly
less worried.

The lawyer made an allusion to a good point:
Newsgroup postings are not a substitute for "legal advice". They are a
good place to get a framework of information. If you feel unable to
master the basics of immigration, you absolutely should retain counsel.
A caveat: not all lawyers are created equal. Scan a few 'my lawyer done
me wrong' posts over at the marriage-based group and you'll see what I
mean. And don't forget, this battle is half your partner's as well; he
needs to participate.

I'm still puzzling over noboundaries' statement
"Basically, you need to start the procedure in order to be together
with your child or you can opt to just be a visitor indefinitely."
Be
warned that some attornies, indeed some USCIS (aka INS) workers will
tell you that you can enter under the VW, marry and Adjust Status. Be
sure to ask your counsel what backup they offer if this route goes
badly.
but people forget the emotional impact of so much
change... Just to make the 'glass is half FULL' argument,
hop over to the Europe or Rest of the World boards here and see how
many people *choose* to expatriate. I've lived abroad 3 different
times, 3 different countries and travel whenever I can. Only to point
out that *some* crazy people would trade places with you in a New York
Minute! :) I would far rather give birth here than in the
States, but speaking with my partner I see his worries around that and
do not feel that I can push an issue he is uncomfortable with.
Then stick up for yourself, g/friend! <g> Perhaps educating your
partner a bit on the citizenship issue will help (that's the only
objection I recall you bringing up). Assure him that anyone born of a
USC who is resident in the US, will *be* a USC regardless. Chris gave
you some good info up there. If none of that works, ask him to call
his local hospital and find out how much birthing a baby in the US will
cost. <g> Best of luck to you; I hope everything turns out just
the way you want!


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Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Thank you for your best wishes! You have been most helpful!!

I think
the comment

"Basically, you need to start the procedure in order to be
together with your child or you can opt to just be a visitor
indefinitely."

refers to the possibility of simply just visiting my
partner for a few weeks every so often, much as we do now. I realise I
could do that even with a child, but I would prefer to have a more
settled existence! But it is a valid and legally acceptable option, as
far as I know anyway!

"*some* crazy people would trade places with you
in a New York Minute! :)"

I cant believe anyone would want my
situation!! I realise that some people have an even more complex issue,
and I am in no way negating or disrespecting that but it still doesn't
make this fun!!

My partner broke his hand last year and the hospital
fees came to $3000, a friend of ours had a hernia operation and that
came to $6000, so I am assuming giving birth over there would cost
anything from $10 to $20, 000!!! Not a price tag to take lightly!!


Chris did indeed give me some good info. Thank you Chris!

My partners
main arguments against me having the baby in England are that he is
financially supporting his mother and little brother at the moment and
he's not in a position to leave them without financial support. He also,
doesn't want to fly, period, he hates flying, which places much of the
onus on me to sort most things out and sometimes I feel I have just got
too much on my plate! You're quite right when you say this battle is
half his too,I think we shall have to have a good talk about that
point!!

Thank you again,

Mary xxxx


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Posted via http://britishexpats.com