ok ok me and my boyfriend were together for 3 months and i got pregnant at 17 he was 19 ...he smoked weed....and i knew that but he told me hed stop many times and i believed him like a idiot i believed him.....well he never really helped me out when i was preggo...i had to literally nag him for money to buy some baby things so we could have a few things for the baby when he was born....my son was born april 18th 2004....the father was there but he had went out of the hospital and smoked a joint right before the baby was born...and came back....he was stayin with my family my mom my two brothers and myself and now our baby never helped me out with late night feedings...was always me and since it was a two bedroom apt. me and my mom and baby were in one room so shed hold the little guy while i made the bottles .....but other then that it was ME.....I changed the diapers...well for the first couple weeks my sister came over pretty much every day to kinda help me out cuz i was really sore and tired...but i mean he never ever did anythign for him id always have to barrow money from my mom b/c he baught weed or spent all his money on his cars....well we started fighting more and more b/c i wasnt happy with him still smoking weed..i told him to stop or we'd leave him...he come around the baby high...he'd zone out...and when id ask him to help me with something id have to ask him over and over and over to do it...well i finally left him i was really tired of the no help and all the fighting he just degraded me mentally and emotionally...well i served him with a set of papers stating i was goin for sole custody and he replied tha the wanted joint custody with everyother weekends plus fridays....well since he smokes weed and is now 21 and drinks i dont want that at all i asked for supervised visitations too...my son doesnt need to be around any of that...well that was march 22nd....well april 18th was my sons birthday andi called him and his family let them know where we are having party he hasnt called ever since i served him or come over. he shows up but pretty much ignores my son...sits on a hill talkin to his friend the whole tiem and leaves before the party is even over....he doesnt call or show up for 2 more months calls out of the blue and ask to come over...so i let him....but my son just cried the whole time he was here...saddest thing.while he was here he wsa tellin me how he wanted to come over before but he hasnt had a ride or anything and hes been messing up again.so hes biodad leaves like 15 mins later b/c he has to pick up his new g/f havent heard or seen from him since...a friend of my sister and her hubby is a paralegal and is helping me with papers and stuff...but she hasnt done what she said she was going to do..and i dont wanna be like can you do it for me please... im just curious anyone think i have a chance at sole custody :) im just really scared im only 19 now and it scares me to death that hes father will get some kind of custody and it terrifies me to think hed be with his dad without me there b/c i know his dad wouldnt pay attetion and do what he needs to do for my son :(

First of all, if this guy is the "pothead" that you say he is, more than likely he will not fight you if you go for sole custody. He is just trying to upset you. As far as his rights to see the child...I believe that even with sole custody, the non custodial parent still receives visitation. I would ask that the father go for drug abuse treatment and have supervised visitation until he can prove that he is clean. Everything will work out.

First of all, if this guy is the "pothead" that you say he is, more than likely he will not fight you if you go for sole custody. He is just trying to upset you. As far as his rights to see the child...I believe that even with sole custody, the non custodial parent still receives visitation. I would ask that the father go for drug abuse treatment and have supervised visitation until he can prove that he is clean. Everything will work out. You will be fine!!! Tell the judge about his drug/alcohol/abuse/neglect and the judge should refer him to the office of childrens services. If he does what you say, they'll prove it and he'll have no chance. :D

Bring some witnesses with you who have seen him high on drugs at the hospital for the birth and if he has been around/near the child high on drugs. I do not think you have a lot to worry about. I would make sure, however, that if he gets visitation that it is supervised vistiation because of the strong likelihood he may otherwise expose the baby to drugs and marijuana smoke that could damage the child developmentally since the child is growing. But you should have no problem getting physical custody and I suggest going for sole custody with him getting only supervised visitation. Since you live with family in your situation, you have support and most courts look on that favorably. Good luck.

yeah im going for sole custody with supervised visitation....for witness could my family count or no..cuz theyve all seen him high around the baby.:(well thank you all for the advice greatly appricated

yeah im going for sole custody with supervised visitation....for witness could my family count or no..cuz theyve all seen him high around the baby.:(well thank you all for the advice greatly appricated Take everyone you can...but get letters from every person with dates and contact information just incase they are not allowed to enter the courtroom. I will advise you...if you inform the court of his drug use they probably will not allow him visits until he speaks and complys with what the Office of Children's Services case plans for him. For example: OCS could require him to UA several times expecting him to test negative before having any contact with the child. OCS will eventually, if he does what is required him establish supervised visits. Usually, they will start doing the supervision but if he's doing well, they will contract it out. If he does really well and finishes his case plan they he will be allowed visitation without supervision. Meaning, you will need to basically have joint custody unless he relinguishes to you. You have to prove him unfit and so does the court!!! Don't be scared, the case plan can take up to 15 months before the court takes his rights away period. If he screws up once, he has to start over. If he can't get it together in 15 months or less the court will award you all rights to the child. You also need to file for child support, now! It sounds like your young...you will need every penny, even if you don't, save it! If he should fail to pay child support, it's another thing in your favor.

yeah hes already 5 months passed due on child support thats good advice thats what i was considering was having people write it down on paper and signing it....but thats good to know.....i again really appriecate all the advice and support and i am young 19 ....