My husbands ex wife lives in Texas and that is where custody and support orders were filed and she is the custodial parent. In January of this year one of his 3 children came to live with us in Nebraska as she could not manage his behavior. His ex will not sign a notarized paper saying we have custody and the legal cost to modify the order is more than the cost of the whole divorce. My husband has also been paying full child support. The other issues is obviously we are up here and she is down there over 1000 miles away. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to modify the support and the custody without using a lawyer? .

I know the family courts here in california have "Family Law Facilitators" who help you fill out documents and file papers and if you don't know what to do they will walk you through the steps and it for free. However they donot represent you in court, but they are a great help...so I suggest seeing if your courts offer this same kind of help....good luck...

Get legal forms from a site like uslegalforms.com and file the papers in court yourself, then go down there in person for the court date. Explain the situation. If you feel bringing the child is dangerous, I suggest that you have the child complete an affidavit and be available by phone for the court to contact since the child is at an age where the court can take the child's views into account.
Another option is to have the jurisdiction for the case moved to where you live since the child is physically there. You would file locally, then seek dismissal and removal of the case to where you and the child physically reside since I am assuming the child is now a resident of the state where you are at since his mother sent him to live with you.
I think Mom does not want to give up money in terms of support, and it is about that moreso than the kid.