In 1989 I was awarded custody of my children and had filed a legal seperation. The judge set the child support at 900.00 for three. (He was ruled unfit to be a parent)

I never had the money to file the actual divorce papers (I did not have any living relatives), and my ex stopped making payments. I was young and unaware of our rights. after 8mo. of no support in 1993 I let my children go to their dads while I tried to save money to get back to our regular life. He had file for the divorce in Mexico and said he claimed the kids as joint custody. I never saw any paper work.

I finally got the kids back home after a 4yr stay at their dads. He will not send any child support and has only sent 200.-400. in randum months.

MY QUESTION IS- Did I forfit the judgement by letting them live with him for that time period or by not filing the devorce papers myself?

He says he has lawyers that will keep him from having to pay and for me "TO BE CAREFUL!" Like he knows something I do not know.

If the law is in my childrens favor, he could owe 12 yrs of child support.

I hope someone can direct me.
Thanks, mo3

In 1989 I was awarded custody of my children and had filed a legal seperation. The judge set the child support at 900.00 for three. (He was ruled unfit to be a parent)

I never had the money to file the actual divorce papers (I did not have any living relatives), and my ex stopped making payments. I was young and unaware of our rights. after 8mo. of no support in 1993 I let my children go to their dads while I tried to save money to get back to our regular life. He had file for the divorce in Mexico and said he claimed the kids as joint custody. I never saw any paper work.

I finally got the kids back home after a 4yr stay at their dads. He will not send any child support and has only sent 200.-400. in randum months.

MY QUESTION IS- Did I forfit the judgement by letting them live with him for that time period or by not filing the devorce papers myself?

He says he has lawyers that will keep him from having to pay and for me "TO BE CAREFUL!" Like he knows something I do not know.

If the law is in my childrens favor, he could owe 12 yrs of child support.

I hope someone can direct me.
Thanks, mo3

You really need to speak to an attorney and to see what any and all paperwork he has says.
If you have paperwork stating custodry with child support and he has none, then at least you have that to go by.

As an FYI, any modifications to custody agreements have to be made by the court - which means they would have to notify you about it. Anything else would not be binding.

You might want to check with your Friend of the Court office (or similar entity); they can advise you better on the situation.

Another question I had: there are two types of custody, physical and legal. What do you have?

Thank you, I have legal.

I guess I should have asked whether you had joint physical (they lived with each of you), sole physical (they only lived with one of you), joint legal (you share the decision-making regarding school, medical care, etc), or sole legal (one of you makes the decisions), or any combination thereof.

How did you get him proven unfit?..My daughter is 19 and has a 2 month old by a 19 year old, crack user and has been in jail for 7 times..has no desire to be with the child..I cannot afford a lawyer however filed the child support papers with my daughter and put a copy of the jounel that i have been keeping on the father and wrote a letter telling of our concerns about him..Do you think this is enough for the courts to take away his rights or put supervised visitation on him and his mother..?..Will they make that decision at the child support hearing ?

Hard to say; Is the divorce legal and did it just cover the divorce? I am assuming there was no custody determination over the kids because the courts in Mexico would have no jurisdiction over custody and support matters, since the kids were in the US, so I woudl imagine that the court that made the custdy determination during the separation would still stand. BUt if you feel better, go to court and seek joint custody or sole custody of the children to be sure, but speak with an attorney first. There may be multiple approaches to this situation.