Good Morning-

I had another in regards to obtaining full custody of my husband's two daughters. Unfortunately, the ex is not abusive. HOWEVER, the children live in conditions far below than they should be with the child support alone that my husband pays. Although the mother doesn't physically abuse them, she neglects them...putting them in front of the tv as a form of entertainment and babysitting. The 2 year old has absolutely no social skills because of this and the 7 year old watches more dvds than a movie theatre. The children (ages 7 and 2) share a twin size bed with a wooden board between them while she has just purchased a $1,000 treadmill and entertainment equipment that would cost us 2-3 paychecks (we're military). The children eat ramen noodles and frozen waffles that the 7 year old makes herself for dinner, while the 2 year old has cottage cheese!!! Anyone with common sense would know that's not okay!! The house is a disaster, boxes everywhere; clothes piled up (despite the fact that she has her own washer/dryer). I can go on and on but it'd only further exhaust the situation.

My question is this...what can we do?? As the father, does he have any rights?? what are his chances of gaining custody of the 2 children? what's the process? the cost?

I know that we can provide a much better life. It's frustrating hearing the 7 year old on the phone talk about stuff like that.

Thank you for your time....

I don't know what state you are in, but the husband can file for primary custody. The base JAG office may be able to assist for free. I am not saying that the situation is ideal, but I am not sure it is bad enough to change the custody. Maybe you shoudl suggest that the mother go to parenting classes to improve the environment at home for the kids, but what she does sounds common to be honest. As for the kids' standard of living, I do not know the situation, but divorce and children living in single parent homes tends to lend itself to the child having a lesser standard of living than a child in a two-parent household. That is common. What you are talking about is more the norm than anything else. You may not like it, but it may not be enough to warrant a change in the custody arrangements, but maybe a cause to have the mother address her parenting style so as to provide a better home for the kids.