For those of us who do pay our child support regularly and on time, can we push for some legislation regarding accountability of the receiving parent? I pay a signifigant payment each month; am happy to do so because I love my child, but I know my ex is using the funds for her bills and her boyfriend, not my daughter. I intend to meet with every state rep I need to until I find one who will sponser a bill calling for accountability of the receiving parent. Anyone else care to join in my effort?

Good luck! If you believe that your child's mother is not providing for the child right, maybe you should go back to court and seek a modification of the custody order if you can prove the money is not being spent to ensure the child is adequately provided for and cared for.

I am the wife of a man in Texas that is in quite a similar situation and I will be willing to do the same thing you are doing to represent the fathers who do love and support their kids! He is really stressed about it too so yes I have writtent o the congressman here and to no avail but I beleive that the patience is well worth the wait! Good luck to you guy!!!

My brother's ex-wife is an unemployed sponge who lives with and off of everyone she can...the healthy child support checks that she recieves every month are the only thing that keep her car with gasoline and her cigarette supply alive and well~! The saddest thing is that the children suffer while she takes the money that is intended to make their life easier and invests in her own bad habits and going out to eat. My mother even went so far as to let her and the kids live in her rent house to allow her time to get on her feet. For example, right now, my brother has the kids for the summer while she is vacationing in Ohio with her boyfriend. The only time she has called is to see if her support payments had made it to the mailbox so ...and I quote..."she would have spending money" while she was away. My brother pays his support, buys school clothes, sends them lunch money and my mother gives them a house to live in. I for one pay my child support gladly every month and my exwife sees to it that my daughter does have what she needs. If there is an unexpected expense, I do help out.
While it would be nice for the court systems in all states to make them accountable, its just not feasible.

Maybe you should stop analyzing what and how she is spending her money. Child support is meant to aid in providing for the child. That means that it can be used to pay mom's bills. All of the money goes in the same "pot". As long as the bills are being paid and the child is provided for then that is all that matters. I myself receive child support. My ex and I divorced about nine years ago and I have never taken him back for modification. I am not out to destroy him or prevent him from bettering himself or his life. I get 92 dollars a week for two kids. If I wanted to be mean, I could take him back and get twice that amount. But what good does that do the children? Then daddy can't afford to do anything with them. I get my child support and he sees his kids. Helps out extra when he can. That is all I ask. As far as how I spend that check...my bills are paid, we have food to eat and clothes on our back...so if I paid everything with my check and decide that I will use the support to help me get through till next payday then it should be no concern of the other party. Now, if you know that your child does not have proper housing, clothing or enough food and mom is spending money on herself then you can be concerned. My husband stopped paying support to his ex and took custody of his son because the mother was not providing for the child at all and running up a 100 dollar tab on a weekly basis at the bar that she waitressed at.

The important thing that tends to get lost in situations like these is the children. If they are happy and provided for then why make a hostile environment between you and the other parent? Now as far as your idea of holding the parents responsible for how they spend the money...it is definately worth exploring. Not all, but some parents need guidance in how to use these funds. I have always thought that the best way to handle support would be to have the state put the money in an account for the child. The parent receiving the support should have to provide proof that the money is to be spent on a bill, clothing, food, etc... I do agree that there needs to be regulations put on support on both sides. Good luck to you in your efforts.

To you who do pay your support regularly and are involved in your children's lives...I commend you. It is not an easy situation for anyone involved.

My husband's ex receives a substantial amount of support from us. Even if he doesn't get enough hours from time to time this happens, I make up the difference to try to keep him from getting behind on his support (eventhough i do not have to), the whole while my ex doesn't maintain support order. My stepkids have told us of things their mom spends the money on such as spa for her and her mom, clothes for her, vacations for her and her hubby without the kids. We get the kids for our weekend (when it's convenient for her) and they always look like ragamuffins. The clothes she sends are always too small, or holey. I have bought clothes for them to have here, but since she only meets us when it is convenient for her, sometimes it's a waste of money and we end up having to send the clothes to them just to get the use for clothes and money we spent on them. We also live in Tx and feel that there should be some kind of montoring. If/when my ex sends money it goes on the kids, mine and my husbands.

This is for Jen...I know it has been a while since you posted the last one but it has been a while since I looked on here too. I agree with you completely but the systems' guidelines and methods are just set up for a grey area, not the realities of EVERY home. I know it seems impossible for states to account for every dime and that is in so many ways absurd but if they can spend billions in "support judgements" every year then why can't they convert that money spent on catching these so-called deadbeats into paying employess to work in some sort of office for oversight? I would not even expect my husband's ex to report every month, just random periodic checks to see where it is going. My husband's ex's mother even told me that she is the one providing for her grandkids, not their mother. How low are you that your own mother would be able to say that about you and you live in her home? That is one ****ty woman and sorry excuse for a mom.