PDA

View Full Version : Semi O/T: Will going back w/AP make homesickness WORSE??


debidoll
02-06-2004, 08:29 AM
My hubby is homesick again....it happens off and on,and now he's going
through a "bad patch", I guess. So he rants about "America, this,
America THAT, Bush this, Bush THAT....blah, blah, blah...!" He had
been thinking about going back to Belgium and was going to go in Sept.
2003, but changed his mind thinking it was too long for us to be
apart, since we were going to move there in summer of 2005. His
parents came to visit in Dec. and although they "liked" me, I guess,
they constantly talked about poor American quality (especially the
food)etc, etc...., and now that they are back in Belgium, they are
still yapping to my hubby about it and it is having an affect!
Soooo....we are going for a visit in July....hmmmmm.....I guess 2
things could happen, either he loves it, or he sees that "You can't
really go home again" (cliche). What have your experiences been with
your spouse visiting their homeland, and, does it make homesickness
worse when they come back? Thanks for any input....

Debbie

DCMark
02-06-2004, 09:36 AM
I think you need to let him go back and if he wants to stay then that
tells you about his commitment to you.

Its a tough issue. My wife
misses France constantly and the Bush administration is not making it
easier for her!


Originally posted by Debidoll My
hubby is homesick again....it happens off and on,and now he's going
through a "bad patch", I guess. So he rants about "America, this,
America THAT, Bush this, Bush THAT....blah, blah, blah...!" He had
been thinking about going back to Belgium and was going to go in Sept.
2003, but changed his mind thinking it was too long for us to be
apart, since we were going to move there in summer of 2005. His
parents came to visit in Dec. and although they "liked" me, I guess,
they constantly talked about poor American quality (especially the
food)etc, etc...., and now that they are back in Belgium, they are
still yapping to my hubby about it and it is having an affect!
Soooo....we are going for a visit in July....hmmmmm.....I guess 2
things could happen, either he loves it, or he sees that "You can't
really go home again" (cliche). What have your experiences been with
your spouse visiting their homeland, and, does it make homesickness
worse when they come back? Thanks for any input....
Debbie


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

DCMark
02-06-2004, 09:36 AM
I think you need to let him go back and if he wants to stay then that
tells you about his commitment to you.

Its a tough issue. My wife
misses France constantly and the Bush administration is not making it
easier for her!


Originally posted by Debidoll My
hubby is homesick again....it happens off and on,and now he's going
through a "bad patch", I guess. So he rants about "America, this,
America THAT, Bush this, Bush THAT....blah, blah, blah...!" He had
been thinking about going back to Belgium and was going to go in Sept.
2003, but changed his mind thinking it was too long for us to be
apart, since we were going to move there in summer of 2005. His
parents came to visit in Dec. and although they "liked" me, I guess,
they constantly talked about poor American quality (especially the
food)etc, etc...., and now that they are back in Belgium, they are
still yapping to my hubby about it and it is having an affect!
Soooo....we are going for a visit in July....hmmmmm.....I guess 2
things could happen, either he loves it, or he sees that "You can't
really go home again" (cliche). What have your experiences been with
your spouse visiting their homeland, and, does it make homesickness
worse when they come back? Thanks for any input....
Debbie


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

ironporer
02-06-2004, 10:50 AM
Originally posted by Debidoll So he rants about
"America, this, America THAT, Bush this, Bush THAT....blah, blah,
blah

Hell, Plenty of Americans do that too.
His
parents came to visit in Dec. and although they "liked" me'I guess, they
constantly talked about poor American quality (especially the
food)etc, etc...., and now that they are back in Belgium, they are
still yapping to my hubby about it and it is having an affect!
Maybe it's time the poor little boy start thinking for himself...
and not letting Mommy and Daddy do it for him
Soooo....we are going for a visit in July....hmmmmm.....I guess 2
things could happen, either he loves it, or he sees that "You can't
really go home again" (cliche). What have your experiences been with
your spouse visiting their homeland, and, does it make homesickness
worse when they come back? Thanks for any input.... Debbie
Have you thought about having him go back by himself? What's that
expression about a caged bird not really being your's, unless you let it
go, and it comes back to you on it's own???


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

ironporer
02-06-2004, 10:50 AM
Originally posted by Debidoll So he rants about
"America, this, America THAT, Bush this, Bush THAT....blah, blah,
blah

Hell, Plenty of Americans do that too.
His
parents came to visit in Dec. and although they "liked" me'I guess, they
constantly talked about poor American quality (especially the
food)etc, etc...., and now that they are back in Belgium, they are
still yapping to my hubby about it and it is having an affect!
Maybe it's time the poor little boy start thinking for himself...
and not letting Mommy and Daddy do it for him
Soooo....we are going for a visit in July....hmmmmm.....I guess 2
things could happen, either he loves it, or he sees that "You can't
really go home again" (cliche). What have your experiences been with
your spouse visiting their homeland, and, does it make homesickness
worse when they come back? Thanks for any input.... Debbie
Have you thought about having him go back by himself? What's that
expression about a caged bird not really being your's, unless you let it
go, and it comes back to you on it's own???


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Noortje
02-06-2004, 10:55 AM
Originally posted by Debidoll My hubby is homesick
again....it happens off and on,and now he's going through a "bad
patch", I guess. So he rants about "America, this, America THAT, Bush
this, Bush THAT....blah, blah, blah...!" He had been thinking about
going back to Belgium and was going to go in Sept. 2003, but changed
his mind thinking it was too long for us to be apart, since we were
going to move there in summer of 2005. His parents came to visit in
Dec. and although they "liked" me, I guess, they constantly talked
about poor American quality (especially the food)etc, etc...., and now
that they are back in Belgium, they are still yapping to my hubby
about it and it is having an affect! Soooo....we are going for a
visit in July....hmmmmm.....I guess 2 things could happen, either he
loves it, or he sees that "You can't really go home again" (cliche).
What have your experiences been with your spouse visiting their
homeland, and, does it make homesickness worse when they come back?
Thanks for any input.... Debbie

Hi Debbie,

I am from
Belgium too and my fiancé is the USC.
Where is your husband from in
Belgium?
It's funny... you guys want to move to Belgium in the summer of
2005.
My fiancé and I are getting married this summer and will be
living in the US for a year or two and then we too are planning on
moving to Belgium.


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Noortje
02-06-2004, 10:55 AM
Originally posted by Debidoll My hubby is homesick
again....it happens off and on,and now he's going through a "bad
patch", I guess. So he rants about "America, this, America THAT, Bush
this, Bush THAT....blah, blah, blah...!" He had been thinking about
going back to Belgium and was going to go in Sept. 2003, but changed
his mind thinking it was too long for us to be apart, since we were
going to move there in summer of 2005. His parents came to visit in
Dec. and although they "liked" me, I guess, they constantly talked
about poor American quality (especially the food)etc, etc...., and now
that they are back in Belgium, they are still yapping to my hubby
about it and it is having an affect! Soooo....we are going for a
visit in July....hmmmmm.....I guess 2 things could happen, either he
loves it, or he sees that "You can't really go home again" (cliche).
What have your experiences been with your spouse visiting their
homeland, and, does it make homesickness worse when they come back?
Thanks for any input.... Debbie

Hi Debbie,

I am from
Belgium too and my fiancé is the USC.
Where is your husband from in
Belgium?
It's funny... you guys want to move to Belgium in the summer of
2005.
My fiancé and I are getting married this summer and will be
living in the US for a year or two and then we too are planning on
moving to Belgium.


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Ranjini
02-06-2004, 11:01 AM
Originally posted by DCMark I think you need to let him
go back and if he wants to stay then that tells you about his commitment
to you. Its a tough issue. My wife misses France constantly and
the Bush administration is not making it easier for her!

It
is a tough issue. I'm the immigrant here. And I don't believe it has
anything to do with "poor" quality. It's just different. I'm sure if
you had to live in Belgium you would miss everything about America.
I
think we all go through the different phases. At first loving it all in
the US and then also the phase when you hate everything about it. Please
don't take any of this personally. It's just a period of adjustment, I
think, and we all go through it IMHO. If I asked my husband I'm sure
he would say the same thing about me ;)
I personally think that going
back will make him see all the things he didn't like or at least wanted
to change in the first place when he decided to make his future with you
in the US. Personally, I think it would have a settling effect on him.
At least that's my personal experience....
Good luck,
Ranjini


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Ranjini
02-06-2004, 11:01 AM
Originally posted by DCMark I think you need to let him
go back and if he wants to stay then that tells you about his commitment
to you. Its a tough issue. My wife misses France constantly and
the Bush administration is not making it easier for her!

It
is a tough issue. I'm the immigrant here. And I don't believe it has
anything to do with "poor" quality. It's just different. I'm sure if
you had to live in Belgium you would miss everything about America.
I
think we all go through the different phases. At first loving it all in
the US and then also the phase when you hate everything about it. Please
don't take any of this personally. It's just a period of adjustment, I
think, and we all go through it IMHO. If I asked my husband I'm sure
he would say the same thing about me ;)
I personally think that going
back will make him see all the things he didn't like or at least wanted
to change in the first place when he decided to make his future with you
in the US. Personally, I think it would have a settling effect on him.
At least that's my personal experience....
Good luck,
Ranjini


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

mrraveltay
02-06-2004, 11:41 AM
DCMark wrote:
I think you need to let him go back and if he wants to stay then that tells you about his commitment to you.

What about her committment to him? It's a two way street.
Not that I know the facts here, but I wouldn't bring up his committment
without bringing up her committment. It's not like he is asking her to
live under the Taliban.. Belgium is a nice country.

mrraveltay
02-06-2004, 11:41 AM
DCMark wrote:
I think you need to let him go back and if he wants to stay then that tells you about his commitment to you.

What about her committment to him? It's a two way street.
Not that I know the facts here, but I wouldn't bring up his committment
without bringing up her committment. It's not like he is asking her to
live under the Taliban.. Belgium is a nice country.

Marjeta
02-06-2004, 11:42 AM
Originally posted by Debidoll What have your experiences
been with your spouse visiting their homeland, and, does it make
homesickness worse when they come back?

In my experience,
no. For me it made it better to visit home.


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Marjeta
02-06-2004, 11:42 AM
Originally posted by Debidoll What have your experiences
been with your spouse visiting their homeland, and, does it make
homesickness worse when they come back?

In my experience,
no. For me it made it better to visit home.


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Rete
02-06-2004, 11:43 AM
As the wife of a foreign spouse I can relate to some of those issues. I
remember how much Jim disliked all things New York when he first got
here. He missed his types of food and would wait for care packages and
stocked up on things when he went back to Canada. The rants about bad
drivers, poor quality of local government service, etc., etc. Now he is
a USC and he still has the same complaints about food and service and
roads and drivers, etc. Would he miss New York if he went back to
Canada. No I don't think there is anything from here that he would
miss. Although it is his second home, it will never be his "home".
That will always be Canada and while he would die in service to the US,
he is and always will be a Canadian as well as an American.

Strangely
this was brought home to me during a dinner party we had on Saturday
with two other Can/Am couples. The three Canucks lapsed into being
Canadian from the moment they set eyes on one another. You could see
the pleasure in their faces and eyes and the smiles that lite their
faces when they joked about Canadian politics, television shows, and
memories.

Bottom line is that homesickness never goes away. It might
be buried a little deeper, but it is always lurking out of sight waiting
for a memory to bring it front and center again.

Rete


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Rete
02-06-2004, 11:43 AM
As the wife of a foreign spouse I can relate to some of those issues. I
remember how much Jim disliked all things New York when he first got
here. He missed his types of food and would wait for care packages and
stocked up on things when he went back to Canada. The rants about bad
drivers, poor quality of local government service, etc., etc. Now he is
a USC and he still has the same complaints about food and service and
roads and drivers, etc. Would he miss New York if he went back to
Canada. No I don't think there is anything from here that he would
miss. Although it is his second home, it will never be his "home".
That will always be Canada and while he would die in service to the US,
he is and always will be a Canadian as well as an American.

Strangely
this was brought home to me during a dinner party we had on Saturday
with two other Can/Am couples. The three Canucks lapsed into being
Canadian from the moment they set eyes on one another. You could see
the pleasure in their faces and eyes and the smiles that lite their
faces when they joked about Canadian politics, television shows, and
memories.

Bottom line is that homesickness never goes away. It might
be buried a little deeper, but it is always lurking out of sight waiting
for a memory to bring it front and center again.

Rete


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Maggs
02-06-2004, 12:10 PM
I think that Rete is so right. The homesickness doesn't ever go away.
(I've lived abroad from my home country before). I have only been here
7 months and there are so many things I miss about the UK, especially my
family. However, I made a choice when I married my husband that I would
live in the USA and that is what I intend to do. I have been back to UK
once last September, only 6 weeks after coming over here, and I will be
returning next week also. I am taking advantage of the fact I don't
have a job here yet because once I have one I know I won't be able to
travel back so often. I also intend to go back when my I-130 is
approved around September 04 (fingers crossed)!

For me going back to UK
hasn't made the homesickness worse at all. It's hard saying goodbye all
over again but as I said, I made a choice to be with my husband and
that's where I'll stay, by his side. I too get all hot and bothered
about the driving, the politics, the this and the that, but in
comparisson to not being with my husband, it's not so bad. The same
could be said about any modern country, there are the very good bits and
the not so good bits. I just try to ignore the not so good bits after
I've had a moan to my hubby about it!! Sometimes when he's explained
things to me I understand (although don't always agree) a little bit
better.

It's not easy and I wish you both the best of luck.

Maggie


Originally posted by Debidoll My hubby is homesick
again....it happens off and on,and now he's going through a "bad
patch", I guess. So he rants about "America, this, America THAT, Bush
this, Bush THAT....blah, blah, blah...!" He had been thinking about
going back to Belgium and was going to go in Sept. 2003, but changed
his mind thinking it was too long for us to be apart, since we were
going to move there in summer of 2005. His parents came to visit in
Dec. and although they "liked" me, I guess, they constantly talked
about poor American quality (especially the food)etc, etc...., and now
that they are back in Belgium, they are still yapping to my hubby
about it and it is having an affect! Soooo....we are going for a
visit in July....hmmmmm.....I guess 2 things could happen, either he
loves it, or he sees that "You can't really go home again" (cliche).
What have your experiences been with your spouse visiting their
homeland, and, does it make homesickness worse when they come back?
Thanks for any input....
Debbie


--
Maggs


Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Maggs
02-06-2004, 12:10 PM
I think that Rete is so right. The homesickness doesn't ever go away.
(I've lived abroad from my home country before). I have only been here
7 months and there are so many things I miss about the UK, especially my
family. However, I made a choice when I married my husband that I would
live in the USA and that is what I intend to do. I have been back to UK
once last September, only 6 weeks after coming over here, and I will be
returning next week also. I am taking advantage of the fact I don't
have a job here yet because once I have one I know I won't be able to
travel back so often. I also intend to go back when my I-130 is
approved around September 04 (fingers crossed)!

For me going back to UK
hasn't made the homesickness worse at all. It's hard saying goodbye all
over again but as I said, I made a choice to be with my husband and
that's where I'll stay, by his side. I too get all hot and bothered
about the driving, the politics, the this and the that, but in
comparisson to not being with my husband, it's not so bad. The same
could be said about any modern country, there are the very good bits and
the not so good bits. I just try to ignore the not so good bits after
I've had a moan to my hubby about it!! Sometimes when he's explained
things to me I understand (although don't always agree) a little bit
better.

It's not easy and I wish you both the best of luck.

Maggie


Originally posted by Debidoll My hubby is homesick
again....it happens off and on,and now he's going through a "bad
patch", I guess. So he rants about "America, this, America THAT, Bush
this, Bush THAT....blah, blah, blah...!" He had been thinking about
going back to Belgium and was going to go in Sept. 2003, but changed
his mind thinking it was too long for us to be apart, since we were
going to move there in summer of 2005. His parents came to visit in
Dec. and although they "liked" me, I guess, they constantly talked
about poor American quality (especially the food)etc, etc...., and now
that they are back in Belgium, they are still yapping to my hubby
about it and it is having an affect! Soooo....we are going for a
visit in July....hmmmmm.....I guess 2 things could happen, either he
loves it, or he sees that "You can't really go home again" (cliche).
What have your experiences been with your spouse visiting their
homeland, and, does it make homesickness worse when they come back?
Thanks for any input....
Debbie


--
Maggs


Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Ranjini
02-06-2004, 12:16 PM
Originally posted by Rete Strangely this was brought
home to me during a dinner party we had on Saturday with two other
Can/Am couples. The three Canucks lapsed into being Canadian from the
moment they set eyes on one another. You could see the pleasure in
their faces and eyes and the smiles that lite their faces when they
joked about Canadian politics, television shows, and memories.
Bottom line is that homesickness never goes away. It might be buried a
little deeper, but it is always lurking out of sight waiting for a
memory to bring it front and center again. Rete

Yep, I
can relate to that too. I saw all of my family together at a wedding in
Orange County, California in the fall of 2002. And we visited with a
favourite Uncle and Aunt and my cousin's family in Vancouver B.C. in
spring last year, and it was a wonderful re-union which my husband Ken
enjoyed as much as I did. We both look forward to another re-union at
the golden wedding anniversary of this same Uncle and Aunt in Vancouver
this summer. These re-unions are, and have been the bright spots in my
life.
But I cannot deny that feeling of "coming home", when Ken and I
return to our little nest in Spokane each time. Homesick I am from time-to-
time. But this is finally home after nearly five years, I am happy to
say. It will always be good to return....


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Ranjini
02-06-2004, 12:16 PM
Originally posted by Rete Strangely this was brought
home to me during a dinner party we had on Saturday with two other
Can/Am couples. The three Canucks lapsed into being Canadian from the
moment they set eyes on one another. You could see the pleasure in
their faces and eyes and the smiles that lite their faces when they
joked about Canadian politics, television shows, and memories.
Bottom line is that homesickness never goes away. It might be buried a
little deeper, but it is always lurking out of sight waiting for a
memory to bring it front and center again. Rete

Yep, I
can relate to that too. I saw all of my family together at a wedding in
Orange County, California in the fall of 2002. And we visited with a
favourite Uncle and Aunt and my cousin's family in Vancouver B.C. in
spring last year, and it was a wonderful re-union which my husband Ken
enjoyed as much as I did. We both look forward to another re-union at
the golden wedding anniversary of this same Uncle and Aunt in Vancouver
this summer. These re-unions are, and have been the bright spots in my
life.
But I cannot deny that feeling of "coming home", when Ken and I
return to our little nest in Spokane each time. Homesick I am from time-to-
time. But this is finally home after nearly five years, I am happy to
say. It will always be good to return....


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Pallyn
02-06-2004, 01:02 PM
Have you thought about having him go back by himself? What's that expression about a caged bird not really being your's, unless you let it go, and it comes back to you on it's own???


What about the expression that follows that up with 'If it continues to sit on your couch, eat your food, watch your TV and in general not appear to realize that it has been set free, you either married or gave birth to it?'

Seriously, though. My husband had a bad moment of reverse culture shock the first time he travelled back. He was definitely seeing the home country through fresh eyes and he didn't expect the changed perspective. He is still homesick at times but it doesn't occupy the center of the room the way it used to. He has been back and forth several times, with me and without, and I do think that it helps without interfering with his adjustment. So does having folks from the home country to really talk with.


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Pallyn
02-06-2004, 01:02 PM
Have you thought about having him go back by himself? What's that expression about a caged bird not really being your's, unless you let it go, and it comes back to you on it's own???


What about the expression that follows that up with 'If it continues to sit on your couch, eat your food, watch your TV and in general not appear to realize that it has been set free, you either married or gave birth to it?'

Seriously, though. My husband had a bad moment of reverse culture shock the first time he travelled back. He was definitely seeing the home country through fresh eyes and he didn't expect the changed perspective. He is still homesick at times but it doesn't occupy the center of the room the way it used to. He has been back and forth several times, with me and without, and I do think that it helps without interfering with his adjustment. So does having folks from the home country to really talk with.


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

WretchedMidget
02-06-2004, 02:36 PM
I can completely relate.. at least, I will once I finally get the K3 and
move down there ;)

I'm the Canadian, USC husband in Indiana. I know I'm going to miss Canada,
and all things Canadian, particularly Tim Horton's coffee, and quite odd
Canadian political humor on TV. I don't mind the US - I can't say I wouldn't
rather be up here.. but it's easier for us both if I move down there, at
least for a few years.. there will always be things I'll miss, though.
Every foreign spouse would have had to spend at least 18 years in their home
country. That's a LOT of time to get attached to the culture, no matter how
subtle a change it is from the US (Canada and the US seem almost identical
unless you've lived in either for a long time).
I'm sure I can adapt to only seeing my family once every few months, but I'm
not too sure about adapting to seeing a Starbucks on every street corner
instead of Tim Hortons :)

As the wife of a foreign spouse I can relate to some of those issues. I remember how much Jim disliked all things New York when he first got here. He missed his types of food and would wait for care packages and stocked up on things when he went back to Canada. The rants about bad drivers, poor quality of local government service, etc., etc. Now he is a USC and he still has the same complaints about food and service and roads and drivers, etc. Would he miss New York if he went back to Canada. No I don't think there is anything from here that he would miss. Although it is his second home, it will never be his "home". That will always be Canada and while he would die in service to the US, he is and always will be a Canadian as well as an American. Strangely this was brought home to me during a dinner party we had on Saturday with two other Can/Am couples. The three Canucks lapsed into being Canadian from the moment they set eyes on one another. You could see the pleasure in their faces and eyes and the smiles that lite their faces when they joked about Canadian politics, television shows, and memories. Bottom line is that homesickness never goes away. It might be buried a little deeper, but it is always lurking out of sight waiting for a memory to bring it front and center again. Rete -- Posted via http://britishexpats.com

WretchedMidget
02-06-2004, 02:36 PM
I can completely relate.. at least, I will once I finally get the K3 and
move down there ;)

I'm the Canadian, USC husband in Indiana. I know I'm going to miss Canada,
and all things Canadian, particularly Tim Horton's coffee, and quite odd
Canadian political humor on TV. I don't mind the US - I can't say I wouldn't
rather be up here.. but it's easier for us both if I move down there, at
least for a few years.. there will always be things I'll miss, though.
Every foreign spouse would have had to spend at least 18 years in their home
country. That's a LOT of time to get attached to the culture, no matter how
subtle a change it is from the US (Canada and the US seem almost identical
unless you've lived in either for a long time).
I'm sure I can adapt to only seeing my family once every few months, but I'm
not too sure about adapting to seeing a Starbucks on every street corner
instead of Tim Hortons :)

As the wife of a foreign spouse I can relate to some of those issues. I remember how much Jim disliked all things New York when he first got here. He missed his types of food and would wait for care packages and stocked up on things when he went back to Canada. The rants about bad drivers, poor quality of local government service, etc., etc. Now he is a USC and he still has the same complaints about food and service and roads and drivers, etc. Would he miss New York if he went back to Canada. No I don't think there is anything from here that he would miss. Although it is his second home, it will never be his "home". That will always be Canada and while he would die in service to the US, he is and always will be a Canadian as well as an American. Strangely this was brought home to me during a dinner party we had on Saturday with two other Can/Am couples. The three Canucks lapsed into being Canadian from the moment they set eyes on one another. You could see the pleasure in their faces and eyes and the smiles that lite their faces when they joked about Canadian politics, television shows, and memories. Bottom line is that homesickness never goes away. It might be buried a little deeper, but it is always lurking out of sight waiting for a memory to bring it front and center again. Rete -- Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Mattias Hembruch
02-06-2004, 02:59 PM
In article <7wVUb.37446$9U5.1456784@news20.bellglobal.com>,
WretchedMidget <wretchedmidget@sympatico.ca> wrote:I can completely relate.. at least, I will once I finally get the K3 andmove down there ;)I'm the Canadian, USC husband in Indiana. I know I'm going to miss Canada,and all things Canadian, particularly Tim Horton's coffee, and quite oddCanadian political humor on TV. I don't mind the US - I can't say I wouldn'trather be up here.. but it's easier for us both if I move down there, atleast for a few years.. there will always be things I'll miss, though.Every foreign spouse would have had to spend at least 18 years in their homecountry. That's a LOT of time to get attached to the culture, no matter howsubtle a change it is from the US (Canada and the US seem almost identicalunless you've lived in either for a long time).I'm sure I can adapt to only seeing my family once every few months, but I'mnot too sure about adapting to seeing a Starbucks on every street cornerinstead of Tim Hortons :)

Well, since I'm not a coffee drinker, and am trying to cut back on the
sugar..... :-)
(Actually, the chocolate malt at Starbucks is VERY delicious!).

So, I won't miss Tim Horton's much.. I will miss seeing TML flags on cars
during the winter/spring, Leafs everywhere on TV, etc.

Then again, I won't miss the -25C and snowstorms... (moving to California!)

I think the move to Canada from Smalltown, Germany when I was 8 was a much
bigger adjustment than moving from a city of 300K with 4M not far away in
Ontario to one of 200K with approx 8M within 1-2 hours driving distance in
California. Heck, except for "Zee/Zed" and "abouwwwt/aboot", even the accent
is darn near the same!


Mattias

Mattias Hembruch
02-06-2004, 02:59 PM
In article <7wVUb.37446$9U5.1456784@news20.bellglobal.com>,
WretchedMidget <wretchedmidget@sympatico.ca> wrote:I can completely relate.. at least, I will once I finally get the K3 andmove down there ;)I'm the Canadian, USC husband in Indiana. I know I'm going to miss Canada,and all things Canadian, particularly Tim Horton's coffee, and quite oddCanadian political humor on TV. I don't mind the US - I can't say I wouldn'trather be up here.. but it's easier for us both if I move down there, atleast for a few years.. there will always be things I'll miss, though.Every foreign spouse would have had to spend at least 18 years in their homecountry. That's a LOT of time to get attached to the culture, no matter howsubtle a change it is from the US (Canada and the US seem almost identicalunless you've lived in either for a long time).I'm sure I can adapt to only seeing my family once every few months, but I'mnot too sure about adapting to seeing a Starbucks on every street cornerinstead of Tim Hortons :)

Well, since I'm not a coffee drinker, and am trying to cut back on the
sugar..... :-)
(Actually, the chocolate malt at Starbucks is VERY delicious!).

So, I won't miss Tim Horton's much.. I will miss seeing TML flags on cars
during the winter/spring, Leafs everywhere on TV, etc.

Then again, I won't miss the -25C and snowstorms... (moving to California!)

I think the move to Canada from Smalltown, Germany when I was 8 was a much
bigger adjustment than moving from a city of 300K with 4M not far away in
Ontario to one of 200K with approx 8M within 1-2 hours driving distance in
California. Heck, except for "Zee/Zed" and "abouwwwt/aboot", even the accent
is darn near the same!


Mattias

Rete
02-06-2004, 03:04 PM
We buy Tim Horton's by the can when we go to Canada and found a
great place that ships foodstuffs


www.canadianfavourites.com

Hilary and Ian White are
great to deal with.

We buy the Air Farce tapes so have some of that
humour in the house. Hate Starbucks and if out will only buy Dunkin
Donuts. But Tim Horton's is now associated with Wendy's so won't be
long before it is stateside everywhere.

Rete

Originally
posted by Wretchedmidget I can completely relate.. at least,
I will once I finally get the K3 and move down there ;) I'm
the Canadian, USC husband in Indiana. I know I'm going to miss
Canada, and all things Canadian, particularly Tim Horton's coffee,
and quite odd Canadian political humor on TV. I don't mind the US
- I can't say I wouldn't rather be up here.. but it's easier for
us both if I move down there, at least for a few years.. there
will always be things I'll miss, though. Every foreign spouse
would have had to spend at least 18 years in their home country.
That's a LOT of time to get attached to the culture, no matter how
subtle a change it is from the US (Canada and the US seem almost
identical unless you've lived in either for a long time). I'm
sure I can adapt to only seeing my family once every few months, but
I'm not too sure about adapting to seeing a Starbucks on every
street corner instead of Tim Hortons :) As the wife
of a foreign spouse I can relate to some of those issues. I remember how much Jim disliked all things New York when he
first got here. He missed his types of food and would
wait for care packages and stocked up on things when he
went back to Canada. The rants about bad drivers, poor
quality of local government service, etc., etc. Now he is a USC and he still has the same complaints about food and
service and roads and drivers, etc. Would he miss New
York if he went back to Canada. No I don't think there
is anything from here that he would miss. Although it
is his second home, it will never be his "home". That
will always be Canada and while he would die in service to the
US, he is and always will be a Canadian as well as an
American. Strangely this was brought home
to me during a dinner party we had on Saturday with two
other Can/Am couples. The three Canucks lapsed into being Canadian from the moment they set eyes on one another. You
could see the pleasure in their faces and eyes and the
smiles that lite their faces when they joked about
Canadian politics, television shows, and memories.
Bottom line is that homesickness never goes away. It
might be buried a little deeper, but it is always
lurking out of sight waiting for a memory to bring it
front and center again. Rete --
Posted via http://britishexpats.com/"]http://britishex-
pats.com[/url]


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Rete
02-06-2004, 03:04 PM
We buy Tim Horton's by the can when we go to Canada and found a
great place that ships foodstuffs


www.canadianfavourites.com

Hilary and Ian White are
great to deal with.

We buy the Air Farce tapes so have some of that
humour in the house. Hate Starbucks and if out will only buy Dunkin
Donuts. But Tim Horton's is now associated with Wendy's so won't be
long before it is stateside everywhere.

Rete

Originally
posted by Wretchedmidget I can completely relate.. at least,
I will once I finally get the K3 and move down there ;) I'm
the Canadian, USC husband in Indiana. I know I'm going to miss
Canada, and all things Canadian, particularly Tim Horton's coffee,
and quite odd Canadian political humor on TV. I don't mind the US
- I can't say I wouldn't rather be up here.. but it's easier for
us both if I move down there, at least for a few years.. there
will always be things I'll miss, though. Every foreign spouse
would have had to spend at least 18 years in their home country.
That's a LOT of time to get attached to the culture, no matter how
subtle a change it is from the US (Canada and the US seem almost
identical unless you've lived in either for a long time). I'm
sure I can adapt to only seeing my family once every few months, but
I'm not too sure about adapting to seeing a Starbucks on every
street corner instead of Tim Hortons :) As the wife
of a foreign spouse I can relate to some of those issues. I remember how much Jim disliked all things New York when he
first got here. He missed his types of food and would
wait for care packages and stocked up on things when he
went back to Canada. The rants about bad drivers, poor
quality of local government service, etc., etc. Now he is a USC and he still has the same complaints about food and
service and roads and drivers, etc. Would he miss New
York if he went back to Canada. No I don't think there
is anything from here that he would miss. Although it
is his second home, it will never be his "home". That
will always be Canada and while he would die in service to the
US, he is and always will be a Canadian as well as an
American. Strangely this was brought home
to me during a dinner party we had on Saturday with two
other Can/Am couples. The three Canucks lapsed into being Canadian from the moment they set eyes on one another. You
could see the pleasure in their faces and eyes and the
smiles that lite their faces when they joked about
Canadian politics, television shows, and memories.
Bottom line is that homesickness never goes away. It
might be buried a little deeper, but it is always
lurking out of sight waiting for a memory to bring it
front and center again. Rete --
Posted via http://britishexpats.com/"]http://britishex-
pats.com[/url]


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

WretchedMidget
02-06-2004, 06:47 PM
Once going across the Sarnia, Ontario/Port Huron, MI border crossing.. there
are a couple exits on I-69 that do have Tim Hortons. I was impressed. An
American even ordered a "double double" and I couldn't help but giggle a
little bit. I'm sure the cashier girl thought I was insane, but it was neat.
Anyway, thanks for the link! I'm sure I'll be using it once I'm down there
and don't feel like driving to Michigan to get a coffee. I haven't seen any
Dunkin Donuts in Michigan or Indiana, though. I'm not crazy about their
coffee, but their donuts are as good as Timmy's and I *love* the vanilla
bean coolatta, despite not having any coffee in it I'm sure.
I will definitely, definitely, need to get Air Farce tapes, or even get
family members to tape a few and send it down to me every couple months for
entertainment. I'm going to miss Canadian Tire though. It was great working
there and having the customers say how "loyal" they were to us because it's
a Canadian corporation. It's amazing that they didn't care that every
product they were buying was from an American company. Sigh.. it's
definitely the little things that you don't notice until you're not around
them anymore..

WretchedMidget
02-06-2004, 06:47 PM
Once going across the Sarnia, Ontario/Port Huron, MI border crossing.. there
are a couple exits on I-69 that do have Tim Hortons. I was impressed. An
American even ordered a "double double" and I couldn't help but giggle a
little bit. I'm sure the cashier girl thought I was insane, but it was neat.
Anyway, thanks for the link! I'm sure I'll be using it once I'm down there
and don't feel like driving to Michigan to get a coffee. I haven't seen any
Dunkin Donuts in Michigan or Indiana, though. I'm not crazy about their
coffee, but their donuts are as good as Timmy's and I *love* the vanilla
bean coolatta, despite not having any coffee in it I'm sure.
I will definitely, definitely, need to get Air Farce tapes, or even get
family members to tape a few and send it down to me every couple months for
entertainment. I'm going to miss Canadian Tire though. It was great working
there and having the customers say how "loyal" they were to us because it's
a Canadian corporation. It's amazing that they didn't care that every
product they were buying was from an American company. Sigh.. it's
definitely the little things that you don't notice until you're not around
them anymore..

WretchedMidget
02-06-2004, 06:53 PM
Oh, and don't forget "y'all." I guess that's not an accent so much as it's
dialect, but still, I can't get used to that. Maybe it's not so bad for a
plural version of "you all," but they use it for a single person too.
I'm not sure if they use it as frequently in Cali, but I know everytime I
hear it in Indiana I shudder. Even worse is "all y'all." My husband notices
a bunch of supposedly "improper" grammatical things that most Canadians do
too, not that I can remember offhand because I normally ignore him. I also
now have him calling winter hats "toques".. so I guess we can make some sort
of odd Can/Am dialect and teach it to our friends. It could be interesting,
right?

Well, since I'm not a coffee drinker, and am trying to cut back on the sugar..... :-) (Actually, the chocolate malt at Starbucks is VERY delicious!). So, I won't miss Tim Horton's much.. I will miss seeing TML flags on cars during the winter/spring, Leafs everywhere on TV, etc. Then again, I won't miss the -25C and snowstorms... (moving to
California!) I think the move to Canada from Smalltown, Germany when I was 8 was a much bigger adjustment than moving from a city of 300K with 4M not far away in Ontario to one of 200K with approx 8M within 1-2 hours driving distance in California. Heck, except for "Zee/Zed" and "abouwwwt/aboot", even the
accent is darn near the same! Mattias

WretchedMidget
02-06-2004, 06:53 PM
Oh, and don't forget "y'all." I guess that's not an accent so much as it's
dialect, but still, I can't get used to that. Maybe it's not so bad for a
plural version of "you all," but they use it for a single person too.
I'm not sure if they use it as frequently in Cali, but I know everytime I
hear it in Indiana I shudder. Even worse is "all y'all." My husband notices
a bunch of supposedly "improper" grammatical things that most Canadians do
too, not that I can remember offhand because I normally ignore him. I also
now have him calling winter hats "toques".. so I guess we can make some sort
of odd Can/Am dialect and teach it to our friends. It could be interesting,
right?

Well, since I'm not a coffee drinker, and am trying to cut back on the sugar..... :-) (Actually, the chocolate malt at Starbucks is VERY delicious!). So, I won't miss Tim Horton's much.. I will miss seeing TML flags on cars during the winter/spring, Leafs everywhere on TV, etc. Then again, I won't miss the -25C and snowstorms... (moving to
California!) I think the move to Canada from Smalltown, Germany when I was 8 was a much bigger adjustment than moving from a city of 300K with 4M not far away in Ontario to one of 200K with approx 8M within 1-2 hours driving distance in California. Heck, except for "Zee/Zed" and "abouwwwt/aboot", even the
accent is darn near the same! Mattias

debidoll
02-07-2004, 05:42 AM
Hey, Noortje, my husband is from Hasselt in Belgium and I am looking
forward to visiting there in July! Are you having to cope with any
"culture shock" yet? Funny how you and your wife have nearly the same
plans as we do!

Debbie

debidoll
02-07-2004, 05:42 AM
Hey, Noortje, my husband is from Hasselt in Belgium and I am looking
forward to visiting there in July! Are you having to cope with any
"culture shock" yet? Funny how you and your wife have nearly the same
plans as we do!

Debbie

Ranjini
02-07-2004, 06:36 AM
Originally posted by Wretchedmidget <snip> there will
always be things I'll miss, though. Every foreign spouse would have
had to spend at least 18 years in their home country. That's a LOT of
time to get attached to the culture, no matter how subtle a change it
is from the US (Canada and the US seem almost identical unless you've
lived in either for a long time).

Eighteen years? It’s
probably works out to about that. I have been living here for five years
and the only thing I’ve figured out so far, is that there is no way
I’m leaving here without Ken. The thought of moving back home does
cross my mind more and more. To my way of thinking, it is the quality
of life that counts. That is another thing I have figured out.
Happiness is not so much about how many big bucks you are earning, or
how many cars you own, IMHO. To me, the quality of life I'm looking for
is back home where I came from. Friends, family, a wonderful tropical
climate, beautiful beaches, cool mountain towns swathed in mist and
rain, etc. etc. Most things the American is used to can be bought. We
have a large expat community from many countries including America.

However, I’ll be the first to admit that when you are young and
planning on raising a family you do have to take your earning capacity
and the material things required for raising a family into account.
Which is probably where most of you are at. I find that most immigrants
who are men, would like to take on the traditional role of being the
provider with the wife usually playing the supporting role, because
somewhere down the road they are also going to have to plan on her
taking on the role of basically being the mother, taking some time off
work ideally, to raise your children.
I believe that this where the men
have the bigger problem. When they have not found the niche they were
looking for in the workforce here in the US. They can lay the blame on
the food, political climate, missing home and country etc. etc. but here
lies the crux of the matter, IMHO.
I would suggest to the OP and her
husband to go back to Belgium by all means. It’s not going to change
anything. The objective of their planned move back to his home country
will become clearer in their own minds and give them an opportunity to
find out if that is what they really want or not as a couple….


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

sibsie
02-07-2004, 06:43 AM
I've been out of London for 18 months and am really missing it. I'm
sure a lot of it is nostalgia and a quick trip back would cure me of my
homesickess. Early on when I moved to Spain I didn't want to go back
to England as I wasn't at all sure I'd be able to get on a plane and
leave again. Now I want to pop back for a visit to get it out of my
system but I can't find the time to do it.

I really think it takes a
good year or so to settle into a new place, especially a new country.
Both my parents are immigrants and have been out of their respective
countries for 50 years but always call where they came from "home". I'm
quite sure I'll be just the same.


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Rete
02-07-2004, 06:55 AM
Originally posted by Wretchedmidget I'm going to miss
Canadian Tire though. It was great working there and having the
customers say how "loyal" they were to us because it's a Canadian
corporation. It's amazing that they didn't care that every product
they were buying was from an American company. Sigh.. it's
definitely the little things that you don't notice until you're not
around them anymore..

NEWFIE SPEED AND SPORT!!!!!!!!!
Yes that is the one place that Jim loves going to and misses the most
when it comes to shopping. A trip to Canada would not be complete
without a stop in NSS for a purchase or two. He actually brought his
1,000 Canadian Tire Greenbacks down here with him only to realize he
couldn't use them. Send them to his sister to use ;-) For us there
are three must do things in Canada that has to be accomplished in
order to make the trip perfect:

1. Tim Horton's
2. NSS
3. St.
Hubert for my chicken dinner

Rete


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Ranjini
02-07-2004, 08:29 AM
Originally posted by Ranjini To me, the quality of life
I'm looking for is back home where I came from. Friends, family, a
wonderful tropical climate, beautiful beaches, cool mountain towns
swathed in mist

Talking about the quality of life, I have
mentioned all the pluses of living in my home country to Ken, but he
ain’t bitin’.
(1)He could use the expertise gained over many years
in his field of work to start his own business and make success of it.
I know he can.
(2)Lifestyles back home are more relaxed and laidback.
We could afford to actually have live-in servants to cook, clean and do
the garden while we laze by the pool or on the beach ;) But he
doesn’t believe me!
Seriously, He does believe me. He has seen it for
himself with the way my family over there lives. But it isn't what he
wants, right now. He wants to be right here, in America where his heart
is. And his 79 yr. old Mom. Maybe some day. I can wait...


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Mattias Hembruch
02-07-2004, 09:19 AM
In article <WgZUb.39849$9U5.1533295@news20.bellglobal.com>,
WretchedMidget <wretchedmidget@sympatico.ca> wrote: Well, since I'm not a coffee drinker, and am trying to cut back on the sugar..... :-) (Actually, the chocolate malt at Starbucks is VERY delicious!). So, I won't miss Tim Horton's much.. I will miss seeing TML flags on cars during the winter/spring, Leafs everywhere on TV, etc. Then again, I won't miss the -25C and snowstorms... (moving toCalifornia!) I think the move to Canada from Smalltown, Germany when I was 8 was a much bigger adjustment than moving from a city of 300K with 4M not far away in Ontario to one of 200K with approx 8M within 1-2 hours driving distance in California. Heck, except for "Zee/Zed" and "abouwwwt/aboot", even theaccent is darn near the same! MattiasOh, and don't forget "y'all." I guess that's not an accent so much as it'sdialect, but still, I can't get used to that. Maybe it's not so bad for aplural version of "you all," but they use it for a single person too.I'm not sure if they use it as frequently in Cali, but I know everytime Ihear it in Indiana I shudder. Even worse is "all y'all." My husband noticesa bunch of supposedly "improper" grammatical things that most Canadians dotoo, not that I can remember offhand because I normally ignore him. I alsonow have him calling winter hats "toques".. so I guess we can make some sortof odd Can/Am dialect and teach it to our friends. It could be interesting,right?

y'all is much more common with my Texan friends.. Not so much in California.
What I find is that California english is very similar to television english
(no, really? :-).. Which, is what most Canadians grew up on..

Again, all y'all is quite southern, and Northern California really isn't
"southern" in that sense..

I do have to explain what a toque is, though..


Mattias

Mattias Hembruch
02-07-2004, 09:22 AM
In article <GbZUb.39802$9U5.1530836@news20.bellglobal.com>,
WretchedMidget <wretchedmidget@sympatico.ca> wrote:Once going across the Sarnia, Ontario/Port Huron, MI border crossing.. thereare a couple exits on I-69 that do have Tim Hortons.


Yeah, they are in a few places in the US..

I'm going to miss Canadian Tire though. It was great working there andhaving the customers say how "loyal" they were to us because it's aCanadian corporation. It's amazing that they didn't care that every productthey were buying was from an American company. Sigh.. it's definitely thelittle things that you don't notice until you're not around them anymore..

Interesting. That was a common complaint from friends who sent down to
California..

Haven't gone to Can Tire much lately, actually. Walmart just around the
corner has just about all the same stuff and is open longer..

Mattias

Mattias Hembruch
02-07-2004, 09:23 AM
In article <1227270.1076169334@britishexpats.com>,
Rete <member167@british_expats.com> wrote:Originally posted by Wretchedmidget I'm going to missCanadian Tire though. It was great working there and having thecustomers say how "loyal" they were to us because it's a Canadiancorporation. It's amazing that they didn't care that every productthey were buying was from an American company. Sigh.. it'sdefinitely the little things that you don't notice until you're notaround them anymore..NEWFIE SPEED AND SPORT!!!!!!!!!Yes that is the one place that Jim loves going to and misses the mostwhen it comes to shopping. A trip to Canada would not be completewithout a stop in NSS for a purchase or two. He actually brought his1,000 Canadian Tire Greenbacks down here with him only to realize hecouldn't use them. Send them to his sister to use ;-) For us thereare three must do things in Canada that has to be accomplished inorder to make the trip perfect:1. Tim Horton's2. NSS3. St. Hubert for my chicken dinner

St. Hubert? The only one I've seen in recent years has been in Montreal...
Never took off here in K-W.. An Eastern thing?

Also, have never heard of NSS..

I rarely go to Tim's..

Mattias

WretchedMidget
02-07-2004, 11:28 AM
NSS.. definitely never heard that one before. I'll have to tell people about
it when I head back to Kingston in a few weeks (at school in Peterborough,
Ontario at the moment).
Yeah, St. Hubert's only lasted a few years in Kingston when it opened there.
I haven't really seen any other ones around southeastern Ontario. They did
have some really good chicken dinners though!

Noortje
02-07-2004, 12:20 PM
Originally posted by Debidoll Hey, Noortje, my husband
is from Hasselt in Belgium and I am looking forward to visiting there
in July! Are you having to cope with any "culture shock" yet? Funny
how you and your wife have nearly the same plans as we do! Debbie


Hey Debbie

Little misunderstanding here. I'm the girl! My
fiancé, the boy, is the American citizen... But other than that, yup,
we have about the same plans. I live in Belgium for now... But planning
on moving to Rhode Island for two years after the wedding in the summer.


I'm from Ghent, by the way, which is about 180 km from Hasselt. Great
place where your husband is from.

Take care!


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Jay-s
02-08-2004, 05:58 AM
On Fri, 06 Feb 2004 20:41:44 GMT, mrraveltay <a.a@a.a.a> wrote:
DCMark wrote: I think you need to let him go back and if he wants to stay then that tells you about his commitment to you.[...] Belgium is a nice country.

Sure thing! Just kinda flat, though...

(sorry, just an old tradition between France and Belgium there. We
love each other so we make fun of each other ;-)

Rete
02-08-2004, 07:03 AM
Originally posted by Mattias Hembruch In article
<1227270.1076169334@britishexpats.com>, St. Hubert? The only one I've
seen in recent years has been in Montreal... Never took off here in
K-W.. An Eastern thing? Also, have never heard of NSS.. I
rarely go to Tim's.. Mattias


Nope I have been in St.
Hubert's in Quebec, Ontario and in Nova Scotia. As for NSS, that is
what my husband calls Canadian Tire. Perhaps the fun name is only
regional but our Canadian guests last week knew it to be called that as
well. Not a big thing.

As for Walmat, have never shopped in a Walmart
in lower New York State as they are not in our area although they do
allow Sam's Club and Costco. They will not allow Walmart or K-mart a
permit to operate a store in our area. If I wanted to shop at either
one I would have to go 20 or more miles to do so and in most cases into
another state altogether.

Rete


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

debidoll
02-08-2004, 11:31 AM
To Noortje:

Oooops, sorry! My hubby has mentioned Gent a few times....I think he
worked in the Circle Video store there from time to time (he mostly
worked in Tongeren). If you would like to email me sometime, my email
address is debidoll59@hotmail.com

Debbie

Complete Labor Law Poster for $24.95
from www.LaborLawCenter.com, includes
State, Federal, & OSHA posting requirements