I have a situation that I'm not quite sure how to handle. I've been working for a company for 2yrs now, and a year a go I felt that I was going to be forced out of my position. So, in voicing my concern to another manager, they quickly offered me a job. I was enthusiastic because I felt there was much to learn from this very sucessful manager and their dept. I immediately felt that I wasn't welcome by my co-workers, but I still felt that I could overlook this in hopes that things would change.

The first few months I was very productive, and I felt that my alienation by co-workers wasn't affecting my performance. During that time, I had become friends with my employer who happens to be about 20yrs older than me, and shortly after we became seriously involved.

When it was discovered by an employee that we were seeing each other outside of the office, rumors started and there was a lot of talking about me "behind my back", but in my presence. I told my boss my suspicions, but he thought I ws paranoid. Finally when I could prove that my co-workers knew about our relationship, he decided to acknowledge that fact, and told them that he doesn't want to stop seeing me, or does he want it to affect things @ wk.

That was when things really went down hill. He wanted to show them that I'd have no special treatment, and insisted that we'd have more time to spend together by designating leadership roles to them. I had no problem with that, but I told him that I should @ least be given the same opportunity to learn for my future.

This promotion that he had given them gave them opportunities to complain about anything I did. When I became critical about things they did, it caused more tension @ work & in our personal relationship. They would make indirect comments regarding race, and age, but in a way that I couldn't prove they were talking about me. He then told me that to help "make everybody happy", I would be working from home. I was very reluctant that it would change my productivity, which he assured me it wouldn't, and it would help our relationship. Prior to my leaving the office he starting as though he was mad @ me in the office, but @home he didn't. He then breaks up with me, telling me that he wants to be friends. He'd hardly ever reply to my business emails, but if he does it's by phone after hours or on his cell.

Since working from home, my productivity has dropped at least 50%, which they control at least 50% of. I have complained, and my boss insist they're not treating me any different than they would anyone else. They treat me as though I'm @ their beck and call, and complain to him should I not be available.

So now, he tells me that he wants to get back together, but he thinks it would be better if I not only left the company, but get out of the business. I told him that I shouldn't be forced to choose, because I can't base my career on a maybe. I enjoy what I do and don't want to leave, even if it means putting it 1st. Now I'm making even less money, and he won't teach/give me the same opportunities to learn, like everyone else. I went into the office over the weekend and my outbox was missing like I don't work there anymore. What should I do? Is this legal in Indiana?

You may, indeed, have a valid complaint of sexual harassment. Often, problems in a personal relationship between a supervisor and an employee come up at the time the relationship ends.

While you may have entered into the relationship voluntarily, the fact that you are now being treated differently because of the relationship is illegal...it may constitute sexual harassment. While your supervisor may wish for you to leave the company, you cannot be forced to do so.

You have the right to file a complaint with the US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) or with the state of Indiana (through the Indiana Civil Rights Commission). Those agencies will pursue a resolution of the matter on your behalf, including an investigation, etc. If they feel that the investigation does not support action, they will give you a "right to sue" letter...meaning that you can pursue your employer in court. Keep in mind that it is also illegal to retaliate against a person filing a claim so your rights will be protected.

On the other hand, and from a practical standpoint, you may wish to maintain a good relationship with your supervisor or you may wish to seek a more speedy and less confrontational approach. In that case, you may wish to speak with your supervisor, explaining your concerns, your research into the law, etc. If that doesn't work, you can always go to his supervisor, etc., or to the HR Department in your company.

Let me know if I can answer any questions for you. Best of luck to you.